Fetish vs. Fantasy

[Goldenfinger]

"so I’m not stuck on one thing, but when I’m aroused I’m with my wife so is my wife my fetish?"

My late wife knew my kinks/fantasies and was amazing at playing to that end. When I was aroused, I was hers and she knew it. She lovingly called me her slut and I loved that. We had many amazing experiences and I have wonderful memories.

Thats great.

 

[live4thebj]

I dated this mom that has a son. She used to pretend to be my mom during sex. One time she told me a true story of her washing her son and him getting a hardon during it. Her face was inches away from it but chickened out. She sucked my cock after telling me that story. I got so turned on I lasted seconds.

 

[StrongMaster7]

fetish - an inessential item, act, or idea that must be present in order to have sex

examples: big boobs, a certain perfume, tattoos None of these are needed for sex to happen, unless they are one's fetish.

fantasy - a mental picture of any non-real scenario

Most of us have fetish-like attachments. Mine include big breasts, big nipples, lactation, pegging, rimming, toys.
Most of us have fantasies. Mine include my wife's sex drive growing exponentially, sex with my favorite porn stars, and sex with some 'regular' women I know.

 

[MarksExperiences]

My husbands fetish is me nude in stockings

His fantasy is me nude in stockings riding his friends cock

If he has a huge cock take it

 

[Crownvic]

If he has a huge cock take it

I have the same fetish...

 

[Tayloroc]

Oh yes.

 

[DaddysYogaBabyGirl]

Reading so many Rape fantasy posts it's nice to know that I am not alone. I always thought there was something wrong with me. No sane person would want that. But, it seems that it's much more normal than crazy. Does anyone have good stories, or actual forced sex experiences that turned out pleasurable?

I actually have night time forced sex dream fantasies about impregnating ... The kind dream where I am in a deep sleep, in my bed, and an older naked man sneaks into my room and aggressively rape-sexes me while I sleep. During his "taking me" I wake up. I am under him as he is forcefully owning me... It's very dark in the room so I don't know if he is actually someone I know, or a complete stranger who has broken into my home. Instinctively I can feel in his aggressive physical overpowering it is his mission to impregnate me. But Why!?? As a fantasy the idea of his cock sliding through me forces my own body to betray me. During my dream I get very wet. In this recurring rape-sexing it's scary not knowing WHY he's forcing himself into me??... or WHY this man seems so violently angry?... The true nightmare emotions are real... However, in real life I can feel myself vaginally flowing and cumming AND I actually do in my sleep. Juicing all over my sheets. Many times I'd wake up shaking and feeling guilty over it.

This thread of stories has been very helpful. Thank you to all of you who were so open in sharing your secret rape-sexing. I meant a lot for me to read.

 

[Toffer_Guy]

There are plenty of things that excite me as a fantasy that I’d never want to try in reality. For example, mom-son fantasies excite me, but I have zero interest in my real life mother. It’s the thrill of the taboo and crossing forbidden lines that I enjoy thinking about. More often, I’ll use images of other women for my mother stand-in.
Sometimes I like a fantasy to be dark with CNC (consensual non-consensual) themes. Where things can be rough, but ultimately everyone is enjoying it in the end. It’s basically a rough sex fantasy. Real world non-con stuff is absolutely immoral. Consent is always important with a partner.

Fetishes can also be mundane things. Such as I have a fetish for fishnets, micro-bikinis (on curvy & petite woman), dirty talk, landing strip-style bush, and sexually aggressive women. The shy, innocent thing just doesn’t excite me much.

 

[Toffer_Guy]

Reading so many Rape fantasy posts it's nice to know that I am not alone. I always thought there was something wrong with me. No sane person would want that. But, it seems that it's much more normal than crazy. Does anyone have good stories, or actual forced sex experiences that turned out pleasurable?

I actually have night time forced sex dream fantasies about impregnating ... The kind dream where I am in a deep sleep, in my bed, and an older naked man sneaks into my room and aggressively rape-sexes me while I sleep. During his "taking me" I wake up. I am under him as he is forcefully owning me... It's very dark in the room so I don't know if he is actually someone I know, or a complete stranger who has broken into my home. Instinctively I can feel in his aggressive physical overpowering it is his mission to impregnate me. But Why!?? As a fantasy the idea of his cock sliding through me forces my own body to betray me. During my dream I get very wet. In this recurring rape-sexing it's scary not knowing WHY he's forcing himself into me??... or WHY this man seems so violently angry?... The true nightmare emotions are real... However, in real life I can feel myself vaginally flowing and cumming AND I actually do in my sleep. Juicing all over my sheets. Many times I'd wake up shaking and feeling guilty over it.

This thread of stories has been very helpful. Thank you to all of you who were so open in sharing your secret rape-sexing. I meant a lot for me to read.

Rape fantasies are a lot more common than a lot of people would admit. Largely because they‘re afraid of how people would judge them or misinterpret it. We studied rape in psychology. What my teacher repeated all the time and it was on every test. “Rape isn’t about sex. It’s about control and power.” Real world rape is absolutely evil. Consent is always important.

People who have that fantasy don’t really want that. They’re more looking to be freed of guilt and excited about giving up control. It’s why the term for a rape fantasy Is more accurately CNC (consensual non-consensual) roleplay. It’s something you can do with a partner and shows a great deal of trust. It falls into the BDSM lifestyle. It’s often mistake as abusive.
In BDSM, people mistake the Dom as the one with the power. In reality, it’s the Sub. The Sub holds the safe word for when to stop. If that’s every violated, it’s a breach of trust and becomes abuse. Never trust a Dom who ignores a safe word. A proper Dom after rough sex, would also do aftercare for the Sub.

There’s nothing wrong with you at all. Western society puts a lot of shame toward sexuality, most especially in women. It even shames women more of they’re open about enjoying sex. Guys will on one hand fetishize innocence, want a woman to fuck like a wild whore, but only with them. Just look at the way guys treat pornstars on Twitter or Instagram. How is the average woman going to trust to show a guy their wild side in sex when they see guys disrespect woman who are open about sex? You should never have to choose between your sexuality and respect.

 

[Lowhanger]

What We Talk About When We Talk About Fetishes

Question: Can you say something is a fetish for you if you’ve never done it? If it’s just something you’ve thought about doing, does that qualify as a fetish or make it just a fantasy? Or does it all have to do with the act itself? (Having sex with your 3 favorite porn stars at the same time is obviously not a fetish, unless, of course, they’re not HUMAN.)

Example:
Someone desperately wants to have sex with a kumquat. They wake up thinking about doing it, think about it just before going to sleep, and spend hours obsessing over it in between. They may even visit the supermarket several times a week, a day even, spending hours in the produce section, examining all the kumquats on display, picking each one up, smelling it, tenderly feeling it for soft spots, bruises, etc. In their mind’s eye they are in bed with this kumquat engaged in all kinds of acts, or down at the lake with that kumquat violating it rapturously, or sitting on the porch swing under a full moon with still another kumquat (maybe even several kumquats!) in their lap achieving orgasm after orgasm. BUT they’ve never actually DONE anything with a kumquat that would even remotely be considered inappropriate, not even by the produce manager who is also a Sunday School teacher and on the president’s Council for the Suppression of Sexual Acts against Fruit.

AND, to top it off, this person actually HATES kumquats! Once they tried eating one and found it so terrible they had to spit it out and spend 10 minutes using mouthwash to get the taste out. Yet even after that incident, or maybe enhanced by it, minutes later they were back to having enthralling sex with said fruit, AT LEAST IN THEIR MIND. Is this certain someone suffering from a fetish?

Often in this Forum one can find threads asking readers to describe their favorite/scariest/happiest/saddest/darkest/weirdest/fruitiest fetish, and 20 minutes later 178 people have responded with lists that go from A to Z and back again (praise be for the imagination of the human species!). But are they describing fetishes or just fantasies?

I have done extensive scientific research into this matter of fetishes vs. fantasy (see especially Fetishes for Dummies), and it’s difficult to find concrete evidence to distinguish the two. I learned that only 1% of the population suffers from fetishes badly enough to require medical help, but it seems 0% suffer from fantasies that require help. That implies a difference, no? Also that more men have fetishes than women, but that’s no surprise, men are such hopeless cases anyway. Some would take a kumquat any day over some fucked up guy, no matter how bad it tasted. (I hope to hear from lots of you ladies out there regarding just that very thing, don’t be shy, now.)

So, before I get totally sidetracked and forget what the hell I was banging on about, let me ask again: Are they fetishes or just fantasies?

And, kumquat may, I hope you have a nice day!

My fetish is a collar on my wife neck. Fantasy is her to wear it in public and people give us knowing glances.

 

[CuttingEdge]

Reading so many Rape fantasy posts it's nice to know that I am not alone. I always thought there was something wrong with me. No sane person would want that. But, it seems that it's much more normal than crazy. Does anyone have good stories, or actual forced sex experiences that turned out pleasurable?

I actually have night time forced sex dream fantasies about impregnating ... The kind dream where I am in a deep sleep, in my bed, and an older naked man sneaks into my room and aggressively rape-sexes me while I sleep. During his "taking me" I wake up. I am under him as he is forcefully owning me... It's very dark in the room so I don't know if he is actually someone I know, or a complete stranger who has broken into my home. Instinctively I can feel in his aggressive physical overpowering it is his mission to impregnate me. But Why!?? As a fantasy the idea of his cock sliding through me forces my own body to betray me. During my dream I get very wet. In this recurring rape-sexing it's scary not knowing WHY he's forcing himself into me??... or WHY this man seems so violently angry?... The true nightmare emotions are real... However, in real life I can feel myself vaginally flowing and cumming AND I actually do in my sleep. Juicing all over my sheets. Many times I'd wake up shaking and feeling guilty over it.

This thread of stories has been very helpful. Thank you to all of you who were so open in sharing your secret rape-sexing. I meant a lot for me to read.

It is a very common fantasy for ladies, and especially those who grew up in very homes where religion was a huge part of childhood.

It is a really difficult mental path to follow: on one end of things, they have had pastors and others clearly defining what sex is supposed to be like, and yet on the other end of things a lady has desires, and thus feels guilty for having those sexual thoughts. But then add in modern society where a lady is subjected to something like 1200 images per day in movies, shows, advertisements, etc of what the "ideal" lady should look like, and they feel that they don't meet those standards. So they have this desire to be wanted, often times, so wanted that the man just takes her because he cannot help himself.

Most call it a "rape fantasy", but really, they just want to be so desired, they are taken, and by not consenting to it, some naughty sex is enjoyed without them having to feel guilty about it.

What constitutes "naughty" or "kinky" can widely vary though. It might be anal sex that she likes, be to be taken roughly, or something as kinky as being taken by three guys. No matter mild or kinky, it probably does not match what she has been told that is what a good Christian woman does, so there is guilt about actually doing some stuff, or even just naughty thoughts about it.

Either way, it is not my intention here to either challenge a person's religious beliefs on what they have been told from the pulpit, nor vilify different forms of sex.

 

[tristantrotsky]

You should pre-marriage classes to men.
I got tired of begging for compliments. And found someone who was willing to give them freely.
2 years after separation, my ex informed me he thought he didn't need to compliment because I knew how he felt. And having lost me over this (and other things) he makes sure to tell his brother, sister, and our daughter how much he loves them and is proud of them.

Asshat!

You are amazing.
That is one genuine compliment that comes direct from me to you...
Never doubt yourself.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

You have a way with using your words to touch my heart.

I would love to able to hear them daily, whispered to me in a big hug.

 

[DaddysYogaBabyGirl]

I believe that fantasy and reality can be explored safely. Aggressive fantasy r/p love and with safe words... so if a boundary is crossed we can stop any painful action without having to actually use our "fun words" like STOP.. NO... or DON'T !

 

[DaddysYogaBabyGirl]

Why did my links pop up like that?

 

[live4thebj]

I fantasized about my fetishes and experienced them except one.

 

[DiscoJedi]

Can you share them all? And what one haven’t you done?

 

[Toffer_Guy]

I’ve seen the foot on the head in a few porn scenes. It looks so intense and kinky. Something I might like to try, if my partner was willing.

 

[DaddysYogaBabyGirl]

I’ve seen the foot on the head in a few porn scenes. It looks so intense and kinky. Something I might like to try, if my partner was willing.

I think men of a certain age think that it's degrading to a woman and wouldn't even try it.
It does take trust and a desire to give the man full control.


it's definitely a DOMINATE/submissive Position. Especially for forced breeding and insemination. He wants to finally become a father.. but her career is just taking off... She screams "NO!" .. But... He doesn't care and he will change someone's life when he cums. Plus, the new Abortion laws are getting more and more strict and in HIS favor. She MUST keep it.

 

[Toffer_Guy]

I think men of a certain age think that it's degrading to a woman and wouldn't even try it.
It does take trust and a desire to give the man full control.

View attachment 2336031
it's definitely a DOMINATE/submissive Position. Especially for forced breeding and insemination. He wants to finally become a father.. but her career is just taking off... She screams "NO!" .. But... He doesn't care and he will change someone's life when he cums. Plus, the new Abortion laws are getting more and more strict and in HIS favor. She MUST keep it.

I can certain any see why people could see it at degrading, but that could be said about many sexual acts. Such as bondage. It’s a matter of consent. If both parties want it, how is it being disrespectful? More so if he’s respectful to her outside of sex.

The mention of the current, inhumane laws regarding safe access for women to abortions is a bit ‘too real.’ Fantasy play is one thing. The current state of reproductive rights for women is going to get real women killed.

 

[OralDave]

I believe that fantasy and reality can be explored safely. Aggressive fantasy r/p love and with safe words... so if a boundary is crossed we can stop any painful action without having to actually use our "fun words" like STOP.. NO... or DON'T !

Fun words, safe words, stop words are all necessary. I think the woman in the middle photo with the foot on her face might be saying stop. Numbers 1 & 3-- look like wild fun!