Does the Gay community accept Bisexuals, or think of them as fence sitters?

[2soon2no]

I have a few stories on Literotica, and in many of these Group Sex stories the women characters will perform sexually with other women, but I have been squeamish about going into m/m action. Do gay couples think of Bisexual couples as fake gay? Not true believers, in a sense?
In my Christian days (orthodox Baptist), we publicly accepted other religions, but privately we whispered about them not making it into the Kingdom because they did not... well the rest doesn't matter. They did not love God correctly. I am well past those observations now, and much older.
Do those that only partake of their own gender, consider bisexuality to be abhorrent?
p.s. my favorite people are gay. I respect them for the strength of character that it takes to go against mainstream society.

 

[TallOne]

Some do, some don't.

 

[Cindy027]

Okay I’ll let off some steam

Firstly I think anyone should be able to love anyone. I identified as bisexual earlier in my life until I realised I was fooling myself.

The problem I have seen (on Lit chat) is that bi women all seem to have a husband and want a girlfriend for the side to ‘play’ with i.e. they cannot commit to a monogamous relationship with another woman. They just want the best of both worlds. Granted there are women who have strong gay feelings and are trapped in loveless marriages and don’t see a way out. For these women Lit can be a nice escape.

Then there are the women who think it’s cool to label themselves as bisexual and like the thought of being in a relationship with a woman but are hesitant in the bedroom. These are the most frustrating of the bunch

Thanks, I feel so much better now

 

[LannaLace]

Interesting topic! While I don’t have strong opinions on either side of the question, I would consider myself “very selectively, bi”.

Steve Gooman’s great song writing comes to mind

There are:
“Men Who Love Women Who Love Men,
Women who love Women every now and then,
and there are men who love men,
cause they can’t pretend
to be Men who love women who love men.

 

[tristantrotsky]

I have a few stories on Literotica, and in many of these Group Sex stories the women characters will perform sexually with other women, but I have been squeamish about going into m/m action. Do gay couples think of Bisexual couples as fake gay? Not true believers, in a sense?
In my Christian days (orthodox Baptist), we publicly accepted other religions, but privately we whispered about them not making it into the Kingdom because they did not... well the rest doesn't matter. They did not love God correctly. I am well past those observations now, and much older.
Do those that only partake of their own gender, consider bisexuality to be abhorrent?
p.s. my favorite people are gay. I respect them for the strength of character that it takes to go against mainstream society.

Gender, and gender orientation are a matter of choice and opportunity, a banquet on which we feast, picking and selecting from the wealth of delights offered by the menu, don't worry what others say, categories exist to be used as toys, if it feels nice, why the hell not just do it...?

 

[AlexBailey]

In my early twenties I was a queer partner to a lesbian woman. As part of an activist collective we had lots of lesbian friends and a few who were queer men.

A lot of our lesbian friends did not honor our relationship, some harassing my gf for being a fence-sitter or ‘stealth straight’ or whatever. She had several exes among the group and many more who wanted to become her exes.

When we first got together it could be really intense and very uncomfortable, we would often be left out of the invitations for some gatherings.

Some evenings of drinking around a campfire would devolve into grilling sessions about us. “What are your plans?” like we needed to spell out our intentions and sexuality for everyone to judge.

One thing that changed the vibe was when they grilled me about my sexual past. The fact that I’d also had some gay experiences seemed to soften the attitude a lot of the girls had about me.

As for gay guys, it’s been very hit or miss for me. Most gay guys I’ve met aren’t into CDs - go figure. But gay comes in different flavors. It’s not like being gay makes you part of some club that you’re all in tune with each other, there are many different ways to match and mismatch.

For me to be interested in a guy he needs to be into non-passing femmes, a switch - meaning top or bottom, he has to be smart, a bit of a geek, into the outdoors, and he has to be queer. Seen any unicorns?

I’ve been with a few guys but most have been disastrous mismatches that left us both disappointed. I’m generally more comfortable and in touch with tomboys and queer women.

 

[OlderBtm4U]

St Peter is showing a newly arrived soul around heaven when the come to a wall so wide and so tall the pat the ends couldn’t be seen. Nearby were “Quiet” signs. [Anybody remember Hospital Zones?] The
new arrival whispers “What’s up?” St. Peter replies “The Catholics are on the other side of the wall and think they’re the only ones here. We try to humor them.”

————-
from 2soon2no:

<snip> In my Christian days (orthodox Baptist), we publicly accepted other religions, but privately we whispered about them not making it into the Kingdom because they did not... well the rest doesn't matter. They did not love God correctly. <snip>

 

[Britva415]

We got our own whole letter in the acronym, we must be accepted.

That's what I tell myself when I'm getting erased.

 

[onceuponatimex]

I don't care. At my college it was quite political, which might be one reason why I stayed straight instead of trying gay.

 

[BrokenQuill]

I don't want to get into all the political arguments over thus. I do however believe strongly that ALL LGBTQ+ should be treated with respect and fairness.

I consider myself as bisexual, perhaps pansexual. For me it's a label I accept for myself, but if I'm with another guy then it's about that moment together, and the pleasure we share.

 

[Becky_Sapphire]

I'm lesbian but dated a bisexual girl before, and never saw her as a 'fence sitter' etc. Each person's sexuality is their own, and there is no reason to pick 'sides'. I wouldn't necessary call her a lesbian as that suggests she is only attracted to woman, but would think of her as a bisexual woman which wouldn't reduce my respect for her in anyway (in the same way I wouldn't disrespect anyone for being hetreosexual or asexual etc).

WLW (Woman who love women) is a more inclusive term as it includes lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, queer, bicurious, or any woman who has some sort of sexual attraction to another woman. Imagine there may be a similar general term for a man who is attracted to other men, though doesn't seem to be MLM.

 

[cubbyfire04]

Okay I’ll let off some steam

Firstly I think anyone should be able to love anyone. I identified as bisexual earlier in my life until I realised I was fooling myself.

The problem I have seen (on Lit chat) is that bi women all seem to have a husband and want a girlfriend for the side to ‘play’ with i.e. they cannot commit to a monogamous relationship with another woman. They just want the best of both worlds. Granted there are women who have strong gay feelings and are trapped in loveless marriages and don’t see a way out. For these women Lit can be a nice escape.

Then there are the women who think it’s cool to label themselves as bisexual and like the thought of being in a relationship with a woman but are hesitant in the bedroom. These are the most frustrating of the bunch

Thanks, I feel so much better now

Many men fall into the same category. Makes it hard to feel like I'm taken seriously with gay men I meet unless they understand I'm openly bi and have been in many committed, monogamous (and even polyamorous) relationships with men. Granted, I've never experienced disrespect about my identity outside of the nameless/faceless online world. Most of my IRL conversations with gay folks have been friendly and accepting.

 

[Analsexlover]

In my own personal experience I was confused about my sexuality I loved gay sex but the thought of kissing or cuddling with a man grossed me out which is kinda sad I mean I'll put my dick in your ass or suck your cock but hold your hand? Fucking gay! I decided I was bisexual and was really thrilled to be part of the community and a piece of something bigger than myself. Unfortunately the gay community was very clear that I was not one of them that in fact was just a straight pervert who didn't care who he fucked. Things changed. The day came when I realized OMG I'm attracted to this guy and WTF I want to be with this person and I feel the same way that I used to feel with my wife! So now I'm in love with a dude and I'm super Happy. But to be honest gays not all of them are very bigoted and don't like bisexual guys and hate trans people also. After everything they went through a lot of them have become what they hated.

 

[RandyRebecca]

I've always known that I was a bisexual girl/woman. Even when I was a child, I can remember clearly thinking that it was strange that most people confined their partners to one gender (the opposite gender, really). I didn't get it. Love was love to me, and later lust was lust too.

 

[Swuchmann]

I met a gay couple on a few occasions. They had no problem that I was bi. We would meet at their place have drinks and then play. The three of us sucked one another’s cock and then the two of them took turns giving me a good fuck. It was a fun experience.

 

[lil_jenni]

I have a colleague at work who is an out gay male. I am a mainly closeted bisexual (pansexual, maybe) female. He is the only other teacher at my school who knows I'm bi. I try to be very supportive of him because it's not always easy on a gay elementary school teacher, especially a male. We are friendly, but I know he somewhat resents me. He once said it's easy for me because if they come after non-straight teachers, I can just pretend being bi and polyamorous was a phase, as I can fall back on my husband and family. I can understand his point, but I feel it marginalizes how I express my sexuality, making it sound like I'm just playing around,
like a poster above alluded to as well.

And I've heard similar things from some other gay men and from some lesbians. Being both bi and polyamorous is sometimes treated as a party preference rather than a valid actualization of one's sexuality.

 

[ZacharyFagg]

I've been with lot's of gay men, and none of them had a problem with me being bisexual. A few were suprised to learn that I was bisexual, but they had no issue with it.

Now I have gay friends who avoid bisexual men because they are seeking a monogamous partner, but they don't have an issue with bisexuals in general.

 

[Escierto]

In my own personal experience I was confused about my sexuality I loved gay sex but the thought of kissing or cuddling with a man grossed me out which is kinda sad I mean I'll put my dick in your ass or suck your cock but hold your hand? Fucking gay! I decided I was bisexual and was really thrilled to be part of the community and a piece of something bigger than myself. Unfortunately the gay community was very clear that I was not one of them that in fact was just a straight pervert who didn't care who he fucked. Things changed. The day came when I realized OMG I'm attracted to this guy and WTF I want to be with this person and I feel the same way that I used to feel with my wife! So now I'm in love with a dude and I'm super Happy. But to be honest gays not all of them are very bigoted and don't like bisexual guys and hate trans people also. After everything they went through a lot of them have become what they hated.

It’s strange. When I was on Grindr looking for a transgender woman, I got a lot of hate from gay guys. I don’t know why they were compelled to communicate with me since I was clear about being only interested in transgender women. I was always polite and respectful in my responses. Some of them were really negative about transgender women which I thought was very odd.

 

[Britva415]

I have gay friends who avoid bisexual men because they are seeking a monogamous partner

Is this concern about bisexual men in general or is it about you in particular?

I hate hearing about people, straight or gay, who believe this stereotype. So if you personally don't want to be monogamous that's one thing, but if you get this shit just for being bisexual, doesn't that burn your ass?

 

[ZacharyFagg]

Is this concern about bisexual men in general or is it about you in particular?

I hate hearing about people, straight or gay, who believe this stereotype. So if you personally don't want to be monogamous that's one thing, but if you get this shit just for being bisexual, doesn't that burn your ass?

Well, no, it doesn't really burn my ass. It seems natural that someone might assume a bisexual might not be completely fulfilled in a completely monogamous relationship with just one gender. And I can completely understand how they would be reluctant to expect a bisexual man to repress his urges, and never desire or be with a woman again.

 

[ZacharyFagg]

It’s strange. When I was on Grindr looking for a transgender woman, I got a lot of hate from gay guys. I don’t know why they were compelled to communicate with me since I was clear about being only interested in transgender women. I was always polite and respectful in my responses. Some of them were really negative about transgender women which I thought was very odd.

Some people on hookup sites are just rude, and don't read profiles at all.
But yeah, some guys get upset over that sort of thing. I've received unsolicited hate messages on A4A because I have a picture of myself in black fishnets. I just block and move on.

 

[Leglover1234]

If you’re bi wouldn’t be that make you a gay?