dirty haiku

sunlight slashed by blinds
carefully seasoned bamboo
stripe her bare behind

a much tighter write. easily accessible visuals and an opening out beyond the poem's physical parameters.
 
day six

a tomato, bound
to her stake, ripens under
her sun's gaze, my slave
 
no idea what an annikey is.
but if I persist in erroneously calling mine haiku, there's a chance that I will learn more about the form, if someone can tell me WHY instead of THAT they think this isn't.

Well of course you don't know what an Annikey is as you haven't been here long enough, I made it up as a new form that's why I offered the suggestion that you gave your non haikus your own title
 
Well of course you don't know what an Annikey is as you haven't been here long enough, I made it up as a new form that's why I offered the suggestion that you gave your non haikus your own title

hmmm...
I did understand your suggestion's intention, but I STILL don't know what an Annikey is.
by which I mean, of course, "What IS an Annikey? What is the form?"
 
hmmm...
I did understand your suggestion's intention, but I STILL don't know what an Annikey is.
by which I mean, of course, "What IS an Annikey? What is the form?"

This was one of our weekly challenges this year. It has a thread of its own:
The Annikey Challenge
The very first post in that thread has the definition of the form.
 
that's horrifying!
it makes me want to cry just thinking about it.

really, it looks like an interesting form.
using repetition effectively is a challenging challenge, in general.



I will have to try it at some point.

no rest for the (wannabe) wicked

PS Hi EO!
 
that's horrifying!
it makes me want to cry just thinking about it.

really, it looks like an interesting form.
using repetition effectively is a challenging challenge, in general.



I will have to try it at some point.

no rest for the (wannabe) wicked

PS Hi EO!

While you're at it try a Sestina :D
 
While you're at it try a Sestina :D

I was actually wondering why your challenge wasn't a sestina in the first place, since they seem pretty similar. I guess a sestina is a little stricter, metricly speaking. but I won't write about guns.

anyway, it seems to me you have to start with your line-end words, and write the poem to fit them, and it got me thinking. Always a bad sign.
 
I was actually wondering why your challenge wasn't a sestina in the first place, since they seem pretty similar. I guess a sestina is a little stricter, metricly speaking. but I won't write about guns.

anyway, it seems to me you have to start with your line-end words, and write the poem to fit them, and it got me thinking. Always a bad sign.

Because I wanted to write my own form (I had it checked out and it is) that wasn't as long as a sestina but longer than a tritina. With so many other forms especially the rhyming ones someone is bound to have got there before. I've toyed with trying to do another bur never seem to have enough time ...... besides which Anna moans at me lol :D
 
Because I wanted to write my own form (I had it checked out and it is) that wasn't as long as a sestina but longer than a tritina. With so many other forms especially the rhyming ones someone is bound to have got there before. I've toyed with trying to do another bur never seem to have enough time ...... besides which Anna moans at me lol :D

Perfectly good reasons.

AND you've given me a new goal.
to make Anna moan at ME!

(who's Anna, btw?)
 
OK, since you've gone and got me all distracted with your annikeys and sestinas, I wrote a quick tritina this morning, with little or no merit except as a giggle.


Hallelujah!


When my fiancee kneels down to pray
at the break of day in her negligee
I'm afraid to say that my thoughts stray

thinking of new ways to lead her astray
and so I may kneel with her as if to pray
while my hands they creep under her negligee

the naughty thing pulls away her negligee
and my greedy eyes survey and cannot stray
from what she displays and it is I who prays

I pray and see! the negligee is flung astray
 
Wow a rhyming tritina ........ you're getting cocky now (pun intended! :D )

I was thinking about poems that used the word negligee and this morning I was finding rhymes for it ... I was going to write about reading dossiers from my attache over cafe au lait and beignets at renee's buffet, but it seemed so cliche.
 
day seven

a cardinal in snow
keeping still, I glimpse
the pale girl's red panties
 
Well of course you don't know what an Annikey is as you haven't been here long enough, I made it up as a new form that's why I offered the suggestion that you gave your non haikus your own title

I really enjoyed this one...thank you most kindly for sharing
 
forgive my poor posting skills if you please..THIS is the one I adored

all is forgiven ;)
.. and many thanks.
"adored" gives me one of those smiles that will buoy me through what looks like it will be a long and irritating day.
 
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