She sounds like a fun wife! Sorry for your loss.My situation is a little different than yours. My late wife was kind of into my CFNM mindset. The times she had me naked on our back porch were always enjoyable. She would either take my clothes off or tell me to lose the clothes when she wanted to play. I knew that I would be getting a hand job or a blow job and I was happy with either. Like you, I wanted her to use me as her boy toy (naked houseboy) and invite a couple of her friends over. We had many discussions about this and she had some great ideas and suggestions along these lines. In the end, she always said "I just don't think I can go through with this."