But when it comes to Sex

[CountryBlssom]

I would agree. But people are scared of judgement. Thats kinda sad. I would hope that you would have a better trusting nonjudgmental relationship with someone you call a partner.

Trusting as well as have some of the tough and deep conversations before walking down the aisle.

 

[magicalmoments]

I think it is pretty common for a lot of couples to keep a lot of their sexual desires hidden for fear of judgement and that those fantasies may be taboo. That can also lead to sexual ruts and boredom which can translate over to a lack of interest and boredom in the bedroom.

Now it is easy to say two people being married should be totally open with each other but easier said then done especially when it might come to the taboo side of things and how do you put some things back in the box.

My husband and I met in college when both of us were far from saints and we knew it. So later on there was not a lot of need to pretend some stuff didn't happen and I think that made it easier to start being totally open.

I agree totally with the sentiments expressed here. Fear of judgement is a biggy and an inability to put some things back in the box, almost as big. Although we had been together since we were mid teenage my 1st wife and I never discussed our sexual fantasies ever until I first raised the concept of "wife swapping". I didn't suggest we try it, just raised it as a thing to talk about in the hope it might lead somewhere eventually. It took a couple of years to move on from that point and we could openly discuss our innermost desires.
With my second wife it was different. We met by telephone after she ran a personal ad seeking guys who were interested in talking dirty on the phone. I'll try to keep a long story short here. She had just come out of a disastrous relationship and was off men. She still fancied being brought to orgasm occasionally and decided to get some guys to talk dirty to her while she played with herself. I was just turned on by the idea of phone sex. She had a couple of hundred replies of which after a couple of months I was last man standing, so to speak. We shared our entire histories of sexual adventures and fantasies in the time we were chatting on the phone. There were no mysteries left, no unknowns of a sexual nature when we eventually agreed to meet in person. Fear of judgement and inability to put things back in the box weren't issues we ever faced.