CuckedbyBBC
Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2018
- Posts
- 65
Sorry, this may be wordy as I feel some background is needed. The goal is to get peoples input on why writing graphic, detailed gay erotica turns me on so much but I’m not attracted to men. I am a very oversexed person and I would say all of my fantasies and fetishes are quite far from vanilla. I would think one would wodely group them as ‘submissive’, and I write in other categories. That said, here’s some background…
I’m a very happily married 47 year old white guy. I’m quite alpha and extroverted, outwardly the typical ‘man’s man’ and would fit a lot of the New Yorker stereotypes. I work in finance, do well, like sports, comfortable in groups and can get a whole room laughing. One thing I am that may not be obvious to people right away is that I’m an Uber-liberal.
My wife and I are best friends and have mainly the same common interests. Every aspect of our relationship is a 10 except sex, which Id say is a 7-ish. I’m very attracted to her and I get very hard, the sex is just a little vanilla. I love my wife so much and like I said, sex feels good and she knows I watch a lot of porn and gives me that space. My other outlet os writing erotica - she doesn’t know that because the content would be so embarrassing! Although I don’t think she’d mind. I also have to say that I’m so happy in my marriage, I don’t feel sexual attraction towards others very much at all, if that makes sense. I jerk off a lot to porn, love a chat room, erotica, but not only would I not cheat, I’m really only interested in fucking my wife.
So with that background, my question is, what are people’s thoughts on my sexuality and fantasies/fetishes? Face to face, to this day, I never felt a sexual attraction to a man. When I was about 21 though, I discovered transsexuals and was obsessed for about 10 years. I primarily had sex with women and girlfriends, but I had a ton of closet encounters with transsexuals, mainly from the web or the NYC street walking areas (always safe by the way). Right from the start, I loved fondling and sucking their cocks, and I loved grinding our dicks together. Within a year, I got fucked and from that point on, I much preferred to bottom when I was with a special girl. All told, I would say about 12 girls fucked me 20 or so times (the number of transsexuals that bottomed for me is about the same). I sucked numerous cocks, well over 50 girls. I did love getting sucked as much as sucking, but oddly I would say with an only few exceptions, I much preferred to get anal than give. This was also the rise of internet porn and transsexual porn was my go to. So that establishes I love dicks. Very much, bigger the better, but I like them on women.
During this time I remained really attracted to women and their pussies. I love to eat and finger and please. I had girlfriends and more straight sex than transsexual encounters. When I was really horny, and couldn’t find a woman or transsexual, I did hook up with a guy or two. The thought was hot, but when they’d get there, I really wasn’t into it. I definitely didn’t want to kiss and certainly didn’t want anal either way. As I recall, we would grind and cum and maybe they would suck me. I would look for feminine looking guys, particularly Asian (Asian was my preference for cross-dressers to as they struck me as more feminine looking).
If a different fetish came into play, it was a little hotter. I remember in the mid-2000’s, I specifically looked for an Asian man to shave my genitals. He began to suck me in the shower while he groomed me and I remember us grinding to orgasm in bed afterwards. It was a little hot, but again no kissing, I was into the shaving, but not totally into the guy. I also went to a massage parlor to get massaged and shaved by an Asian man. I played with his dick through his pants, but again, I wasn’t excited like when I was with a woman or transsexual, and when I came, in all of the situations with men I just discussed, I was really done. No attraction at all and I wanted to get out of there.
This fetish morphed. I met a woman in-line through an ad where I told her I wanted to be submissive and was open to going really far. She pegged me and we found two guys for threesomes. One guy had a huge dick, and the situation was hot, but I had no desire to suck it when given the opportunity, even though in my head I yearned for forced-bi and for a woman to know (and even hotter) watch me suck a dick. This is the only person that was in my life for more than a hook up (let’s say who met my family) that knew my sub tendencies.
My main obsession today is black man- white female porn. When I fuck my wife, I picture me readying her for a black man with a huge cock and then him fucking her. Cuckolding and small penis humiliation excites me to no end. My published stories mostly revolve around these topics. Another funny thing is I have a big dick. Very thick and nearly seven inches, but when it is soft it can be pretty small and I love taking pictures of it when it is really shriveled. I’m basically into everything submissive except pain. I love big cock (especially black)/ small comparisons. Many of my gay stories involve bbc, closet cases, etc. and the protagonist is always the bottom. I also haven’t published them yet, but work in incest stories as well. Cosplay is another big fetish - hot cosplay chicks. I like curvy women and milky white skin and light hair. I don’t know, maybe I’m rambling, but it all seems like important info to get to the bottom of why I like what I like.
So that’s a good start on the background if people would be so kind to give their thoughts and input. I guess I’m asking for a free shrink. I have my own theories, but I don’t want to taint Frye responses, if I get any. But I think it’s an interesting conversation. Let me end by expressing just how fucking turned on and hard I get when I get my gay story ideas. When I’m writing them, outlining them in my head in bed or the car. I’m so fucking turned on! But I really have no attraction to men in real life. What is up with that! I hope this isn’t too rambling…but very open to constructive feedback and answering questions.
I’m a very happily married 47 year old white guy. I’m quite alpha and extroverted, outwardly the typical ‘man’s man’ and would fit a lot of the New Yorker stereotypes. I work in finance, do well, like sports, comfortable in groups and can get a whole room laughing. One thing I am that may not be obvious to people right away is that I’m an Uber-liberal.
My wife and I are best friends and have mainly the same common interests. Every aspect of our relationship is a 10 except sex, which Id say is a 7-ish. I’m very attracted to her and I get very hard, the sex is just a little vanilla. I love my wife so much and like I said, sex feels good and she knows I watch a lot of porn and gives me that space. My other outlet os writing erotica - she doesn’t know that because the content would be so embarrassing! Although I don’t think she’d mind. I also have to say that I’m so happy in my marriage, I don’t feel sexual attraction towards others very much at all, if that makes sense. I jerk off a lot to porn, love a chat room, erotica, but not only would I not cheat, I’m really only interested in fucking my wife.
So with that background, my question is, what are people’s thoughts on my sexuality and fantasies/fetishes? Face to face, to this day, I never felt a sexual attraction to a man. When I was about 21 though, I discovered transsexuals and was obsessed for about 10 years. I primarily had sex with women and girlfriends, but I had a ton of closet encounters with transsexuals, mainly from the web or the NYC street walking areas (always safe by the way). Right from the start, I loved fondling and sucking their cocks, and I loved grinding our dicks together. Within a year, I got fucked and from that point on, I much preferred to bottom when I was with a special girl. All told, I would say about 12 girls fucked me 20 or so times (the number of transsexuals that bottomed for me is about the same). I sucked numerous cocks, well over 50 girls. I did love getting sucked as much as sucking, but oddly I would say with an only few exceptions, I much preferred to get anal than give. This was also the rise of internet porn and transsexual porn was my go to. So that establishes I love dicks. Very much, bigger the better, but I like them on women.
During this time I remained really attracted to women and their pussies. I love to eat and finger and please. I had girlfriends and more straight sex than transsexual encounters. When I was really horny, and couldn’t find a woman or transsexual, I did hook up with a guy or two. The thought was hot, but when they’d get there, I really wasn’t into it. I definitely didn’t want to kiss and certainly didn’t want anal either way. As I recall, we would grind and cum and maybe they would suck me. I would look for feminine looking guys, particularly Asian (Asian was my preference for cross-dressers to as they struck me as more feminine looking).
If a different fetish came into play, it was a little hotter. I remember in the mid-2000’s, I specifically looked for an Asian man to shave my genitals. He began to suck me in the shower while he groomed me and I remember us grinding to orgasm in bed afterwards. It was a little hot, but again no kissing, I was into the shaving, but not totally into the guy. I also went to a massage parlor to get massaged and shaved by an Asian man. I played with his dick through his pants, but again, I wasn’t excited like when I was with a woman or transsexual, and when I came, in all of the situations with men I just discussed, I was really done. No attraction at all and I wanted to get out of there.
This fetish morphed. I met a woman in-line through an ad where I told her I wanted to be submissive and was open to going really far. She pegged me and we found two guys for threesomes. One guy had a huge dick, and the situation was hot, but I had no desire to suck it when given the opportunity, even though in my head I yearned for forced-bi and for a woman to know (and even hotter) watch me suck a dick. This is the only person that was in my life for more than a hook up (let’s say who met my family) that knew my sub tendencies.
My main obsession today is black man- white female porn. When I fuck my wife, I picture me readying her for a black man with a huge cock and then him fucking her. Cuckolding and small penis humiliation excites me to no end. My published stories mostly revolve around these topics. Another funny thing is I have a big dick. Very thick and nearly seven inches, but when it is soft it can be pretty small and I love taking pictures of it when it is really shriveled. I’m basically into everything submissive except pain. I love big cock (especially black)/ small comparisons. Many of my gay stories involve bbc, closet cases, etc. and the protagonist is always the bottom. I also haven’t published them yet, but work in incest stories as well. Cosplay is another big fetish - hot cosplay chicks. I like curvy women and milky white skin and light hair. I don’t know, maybe I’m rambling, but it all seems like important info to get to the bottom of why I like what I like.
So that’s a good start on the background if people would be so kind to give their thoughts and input. I guess I’m asking for a free shrink. I have my own theories, but I don’t want to taint Frye responses, if I get any. But I think it’s an interesting conversation. Let me end by expressing just how fucking turned on and hard I get when I get my gay story ideas. When I’m writing them, outlining them in my head in bed or the car. I’m so fucking turned on! But I really have no attraction to men in real life. What is up with that! I hope this isn’t too rambling…but very open to constructive feedback and answering questions.
!
