So I've known for a while that I have a lot of submissive tendencies, but I've only ever really had vanilla sex.
Until recently, when a guy really took control in the bedroom and in just one night I learnt a lot about myself. The most important thing being that I'm not really confident enough to explore it enough. He asked me about my fantasies, and I just couldn't find the words - I felt stupid. I've never been able to dirty talk, or express in words how I'm feeling during sex, or exactly what I want him to do. An ex asked me once 'what do you want me to do to you?' and I had no idea what to tell him. I kind of knew, but I just couldn't say it.
I've put it down to a lack of confidence; I've always struggled in social situations. Because of a fair amount of bullying I kind of learnt to keep my mouth shut and not make a fool of myself by saying what I'm really thinking.
But now I need to unlearn that habit. I currently don't have a partner and am unlikely to find one in the near future to explore this BDSM world that I'm discovering. And before I do, I'd like to be able to have the confidence to express what I want from him right from the off. If this submissive side of me runs as deep as it might do, I don't want to end up in an entirely vanilla relationship - I want to be open from the start about what I'd like to explore.
Any advice?
Until recently, when a guy really took control in the bedroom and in just one night I learnt a lot about myself. The most important thing being that I'm not really confident enough to explore it enough. He asked me about my fantasies, and I just couldn't find the words - I felt stupid. I've never been able to dirty talk, or express in words how I'm feeling during sex, or exactly what I want him to do. An ex asked me once 'what do you want me to do to you?' and I had no idea what to tell him. I kind of knew, but I just couldn't say it.
I've put it down to a lack of confidence; I've always struggled in social situations. Because of a fair amount of bullying I kind of learnt to keep my mouth shut and not make a fool of myself by saying what I'm really thinking.
But now I need to unlearn that habit. I currently don't have a partner and am unlikely to find one in the near future to explore this BDSM world that I'm discovering. And before I do, I'd like to be able to have the confidence to express what I want from him right from the off. If this submissive side of me runs as deep as it might do, I don't want to end up in an entirely vanilla relationship - I want to be open from the start about what I'd like to explore.
Any advice?