Hilarious
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Hilarious
First rule of the thread is 'There's no such thing as a stupid question' and the second 'We've all got to start somewhere and most of us started knowing zip' so ask away. Some questions may be answered already in the thread, but it has grown to an extent that it can be difficult to find specific topics, although there's a basic index at the start.
So long as you're respectful and accept that personal questions might not always be answered, then don't worry about mentioning body parts and what they do, and often the questions can be emotional ones.
I'll take that as an honest question but you've mostly answered it yourself.OK, here's one. My first exposure to trans porn blew my mind. It wasn't about the cock.....yet. It was about just an insane level of hyperfemininity I saw. Everything was so deliberate, but yet there would be a certain point in a scene where she would flash just a hint of masc, and that would just get me going. Of course, I know now what I didn't know then. But my question is....I have a friend who is trans on FB, and she's always posting those angry memes about not fetishizing transpeople. I'll be the first to admit that I do that....but I feel like I do it while maintaining respect for their passion, struggle, and identity. Also, it's kinda my type. Is that kind of attraction offensive? And if so, how can I be more sensitive about it, since the attraction ain't gonna go away? <3
Well said as only you can say it. I just hope they take your words to heart.I'll take that as an honest question but you've mostly answered it yourself.
I may be stating the obvious but porn is about as close to real trans women as Hamlet is to a yellow cab driver.
Porn stars are in it for money: they'll take the minimum amount of hormones to soften their features, often have breast implants and then take viagra to get an erection for the camera. Some never feel the need for further surgery, but I think most would, if they could afford it. tbh I'm not sure of the percentages.
A transgender person doesn't transition for sex - in fact it's often well down the list and once starting hormones, their libido falls back to pre-puberty levels for quite some time. It's super annoying when people make the assumption that we are sexually motivated and just as horny as any regular man.
What we have to face in real life is discrimination, insults and threats. We find it hard to get jobs or even somewhere to live. Our families and friends will often reject us and they will be suffering from depression and anxiety from those pressures, as well as any internal battle with dysphoria. It can take years to sort out your life after transitioning.
Take a look at the cartoon I posted above. Someone thought it was funny enough to post a reaction, but a trans person reading it will nod and hopefully realise from the irony that they are not alone and that other people are in the same predicament. The artist who makes those is trans herself and I was lucky enough to go to one of her lectures. She is not a porn star and looks like any regular girl down the street: kinda plain, a bit scruffy, trying to make a living from her art.
So yes, I totally understand why your friend posts angry memes and I'd be adding thumbs up support. If you want to date a trans woman you need to look past the body and see the person. It's very offensive to make assumptions about her body - would a woman ask you about your dick as casual chit-chat?
What she really needs is someone dependable, who will offer her a floor to sleep on and never even consider taking advantage of her. If she fancies you, she will let you know - she already knows you find her attractive: she's a woman and we know.
Hopes this helps.
I'll take that as an honest question but you've mostly answered it yourself.
I may be stating the obvious but porn is about as close to real trans women as Hamlet is to a yellow cab driver.
Porn stars are in it for money: they'll take the minimum amount of hormones to soften their features, often have breast implants and then take viagra to get an erection for the camera. Some never feel the need for further surgery, but I think most would, if they could afford it. tbh I'm not sure of the percentages.
A transgender person doesn't transition for sex - in fact it's often well down the list and once starting hormones, their libido falls back to pre-puberty levels for quite some time. It's super annoying when people make the assumption that we are sexually motivated and just as horny as any regular man.
What we have to face in real life is discrimination, insults and threats. We find it hard to get jobs or even somewhere to live. Our families and friends will often reject us and will be suffering from depression and anxiety from those pressures, as well as any internal battle with dysphoria. It can take years to sort out your life after transitioning.
Take a look at the cartoon I posted above. Someone thought it was funny enough to post a reaction, but a trans person reading it will nod and hopefully realise from the irony that they are not alone and that other people are in the same predicament. The artist who makes those is trans herself and I was lucky enough to go to one of her lectures. She is not a porn star and looks like any regular girl down the street: kinda plain, a bit scruffy, trying to make a living from her art.
So yes, I totally understand why your friend posts angry memes and I'd be adding thumbs up support. If you want to date a trans woman you need to look past the body and see the person. It's very offensive to make assumptions about her body - would a woman ask you about your dick as casual chit-chat?
What she really needs is someone dependable, who will offer her a floor to sleep on and never even consider taking advantage of her. If she fancies you, she will let you know - she already knows you find her attractive: she's a woman and we know.
Hopes this helps.
Huh? The poster specifically asked how he could be more sensitive and avoid fetishising her, which was something she made clear on FB she was offended by. I made the reasonable assumption that this poor girl was not an outlier, but someone who found the assumption she was kinky and sex crazed offensive.....And yet there are some trans folks who are kinky and sex crazed. I know, I've been with some who weren't porn stars or some other sort of professional.
Outliers among outliers.
Huh? The poster specifically asked how he could be more sensitive and avoid fetishising her, which was something she made clear on FB she was offended by. I made the reasonable assumption that this poor girl was not an outlier, but someone who found the assumption she was kinky and sex crazed offensive.
FB is a shit forum for trans folk. My advice to her would be to stop using it.
I find Lit an odd place. One moment discussing how it's okay to fetishise trans women, then posting this about Brianna Ghey who was murdered last year and whose two teenage murderers have been convicted. Notably, and in reference to another thread on Lit where pronouns have caused a heated debate, one of the killers referred to Brianna as "it". I have no words and tears seem out of place.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/dec/20/brianna-ghey-found-guilty-murder
I have never understood why a guy attracted to a woman with a penis is a fetishist while a guy attracted to a woman with a vagina is not.
In the case of the guys attracted to women with vaginas, one might say that their attraction is not based on a body part but yes it is. If overnight their wives and girlfriends bodies were magically transformed and their vaginas replaced with a penis, I have absolutely no doubt at least 95% of those relationships would immediately end. So yes, it is a fetish.
BTW, I have told my girlfriend that if she had bottom surgery it would make no difference to me - she is the one I love.
If a guy is attracted to me simply because I am a woman with a penis. That is a fetish
If a guy is attracted to me simply because I am a woman with a vagina. That is a fetish
I guess one's person's fetish is another person's reason to post angry memes. I know who I stand with.
That is an excellent question. Moving through time and space, why does anyone catch another's eye leading to one feeling compelled to go further and deeper? It could be something superficial about them that is the "hook" that is a beginning. Then once you are attracted, it either leads to more or less.I that vein, is it a fetish to be initially attracted to anyone only because of superficial reason?
Does healthy attraction only begin once there is a meeting of hearts?
I can understand that as beautiful and authentic, but are preferences and attractions to particular intimate traits demeaning?
I'll take that as an honest question but you've mostly answered it yourself.
I may be stating the obvious but porn is about as close to real trans women as Hamlet is to a yellow cab driver.
Porn stars are in it for money: they'll take the minimum amount of hormones to soften their features, often have breast implants and then take viagra to get an erection for the camera. Some never feel the need for further surgery, but I think most would, if they could afford it. tbh I'm not sure of the percentages.
A transgender person doesn't transition for sex - in fact it's often well down the list and once starting hormones, their libido falls back to pre-puberty levels for quite some time. It's super annoying when people make the assumption that we are sexually motivated and just as horny as any regular man.
What we have to face in real life is discrimination, insults and threats. We find it hard to get jobs or even somewhere to live. Our families and friends will often reject us and will be suffering from depression and anxiety from those pressures, as well as any internal battle with dysphoria. It can take years to sort out your life after transitioning.
Take a look at the cartoon I posted above. Someone thought it was funny enough to post a reaction, but a trans person reading it will nod and hopefully realise from the irony that they are not alone and that other people are in the same predicament. The artist who makes those is trans herself and I was lucky enough to go to one of her lectures. She is not a porn star and looks like any regular girl down the street: kinda plain, a bit scruffy, trying to make a living from her art.
So yes, I totally understand why your friend posts angry memes and I'd be adding thumbs up support. If you want to date a trans woman you need to look past the body and see the person. It's very offensive to make assumptions about her body - would a woman ask you about your dick as casual chit-chat?
What she really needs is someone dependable, who will offer her a floor to sleep on and never even consider taking advantage of her. If she fancies you, she will let you know - she already knows you find her attractive: she's a woman and we know.
Hopes this helps.
Sophie L's comics can be so right on and this one hits totally in a personal way
Pretty sure stickygirl has been there, I'm about 14 months into my transition. I've been on estradiol for the 14 months and sex? I have like zero interest in sex. I know everyone is different but I find sex something I never think about, and really have no interest in, at least now. I have read this is not unusual for people on hrt, and most often the desire returns in timeA transgender person doesn't transition for sex - in fact it's often well down the list and once starting hormones, their libido falls back to pre-puberty levels for quite some time. It's super annoying when people make the assumption that we are sexually motivated and just as horny as any regular man
I don't know....it is a deep hurt just seeing her picture....I cried seeing this, thinking of her....I find Lit an odd place. One moment discussing how it's okay to fetishise trans women, then posting this about Brianna Ghey who was murdered last year and whose two teenage murderers have been convicted. Notably, and in reference to another thread on Lit where pronouns have caused a heated debate, one of the killers referred to Brianna as "it". I have no words and tears seem out of place.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/dec/20/brianna-ghey-found-guilty-murder
Me too. I cried when it happened and again when this judgement came out. Such a waste - you can see the sparkle in her eyes: just a child taking her first steps.I don't know....it is a deep hurt just seeing her picture....I cried seeing this, thinking of her....