As The Hospital Pervs

[sweepthefloor]

I ran over the stock room boy in the stock room again. I was flying, he caught me.

Twitching down the hallway is good exercise.


Fave ICU nurse has vaulted my jealousy factor to new heights.

Belly Surgeon, has a waste like a stick. He reminds me of a thin preztel, but he strokes my ego.

I'm so excited to rock out of here, I'm gonna cream when I see the night nurse cutie.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Pharmers are hot.
I am a wild thing off my leash,
I mean my stethescope is a chain
around my neck.
It hurts.

The pervy hospital is an animal farm.

Except, the porche (sp?)
doesn't excite me.

Preztel factory.

I don't wanna ride.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Ahahahaha

he's going to think I'm a slut.
I better stop mouth smiling so much.
I doubt I could stop eye smiling.

Rape in a small car, is just not possible.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I'm coming for you night nurse honey.
Bushy tailed and wide eyed.

My scrubs are navy, my shoes are white.

I'm all pressed.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Swinging from vulnerable to fierce.
Waiting my turn, rounding.
Yes, I know what's going on.

Rounding, spinning.

Are my hemodynamics stable?

Who will nurse the nurse?

It just doesn't work that way.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I'm coming for you night nurse honey.
Bushy tailed and wide eyed.

My scrubs are navy, my shoes are white.

I'm all pressed.

crocs?

 

[sweepthefloor]

crocs?

No, leather clogs. dansko.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Dear Drug Addicts Seeking IV Narcotics with Chest Pain,

be nice, or at least respectful to the Nurse.

If you keep taking off the heparin drip, removing the cardiac monitor, refusing blood work: You get no pain meds.

If you call me a bitch, record my words on your phone, you only implicate yourself.

I advocated for you, got you IV Dilaudid, and you stabbed me in the back and manipulated me.

Then you cry. I'm not restarting the intravenous catheter, that you ripped out in anger.

You telling me that "I'm going to jail today." does not frighten me. If you swing at me, I'll have you in 4 point restraints faster then you could get your lazy ass out of the bed to reach me.

And my CNA, will not hesitate, he's a big guy, by my side.

Nurse Ratched

 

[sweepthefloor]

I'm running away with the next medic that rolls onto this unit with a bed on wheels.

Fuck this.

I'm going to get dressed in a hospital gown. They will think I'm the patient. When we get in the back of the band-aid box, surprise!

Love me love me.

 

[Karen Kraft]

You first.

Hey Bert.

Did you notice you have stuff all over your hands?

 

[sweepthefloor]

The crayzee eye RT walks down the hall.
Stops me from my fast skip. He stands in front of me. He says: what's up?

I felt trapped. I couldn't skate around him.
My whole body turned red.
Stupid sympathetic nervous system.

I said: happy to see you.

He said: likewise,

and walked away.

I don't get it. I'm socially inadequate.

Fuck.

I ran to the bathroom.

Put on lipgloss!

 

[rosco rathbone]

And my CNA, will not hesitate, he's a big guy, by my side.

Guy CNA's=

 

[sweepthefloor]

Guy CNA's=

Yeah, and he had my back all shift. He was very protective, every time I went near that room today, he was either with me, or stalking the hall. I felt safe. So guy CNAs: they rock. Love em.

 

[Peregrinator]

I'm running away with the next medic that rolls onto this unit with a bed on wheels.

Fuck this.

I'm going to get dressed in a hospital gown. They will think I'm the patient. When we get in the back of the band-aid box, surprise!

Love me love me.

Hey, wait, gimme a few months.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Hey, wait, gimme a few months.

Ok, you got a year. I need one year ICU experience and then I am headed to ACLS transport nursing.
I am ready to ride with the big kids with flashing lights and sirens. Seriously thinking about it, sometimes I feel like a bird trapped in an aviary.

I wanna fly in the band aid box!

 

[Peregrinator]

Ok, you got a year. I need one year ICU experience and then I am headed to ACLS transport nursing.
I am ready to ride with the big kids with flashing lights and sirens. Seriously thinking about it, sometimes I feel like a bird trapped in an aviary.

I wanna fly in the band aid box!

What a team we would make...

 

[sweepthefloor]

What a team we would make...

Hell yeah! but do I have to get on the chest?
<wait> I can't tube.
I can do everything else.
Just get the tube in,
I will bag the patient.

 

[Peregrinator]

Hell yeah! but do I have to get on the chest?
<wait> I can't tube.
I can do everything else.
Just get the tube in,
I will bag the patient.

Consider it done, m'dear. I'll draw up the meds. Got a line?

 

[sweepthefloor]

Consider it done, m'dear. I'll draw up the meds. Got a line?

Of course! Large bore!

 

[Peregrinator]

Of course! Large bore!

*epi and atropine*

and away we go!

 

[sweepthefloor]

Some time ago, I had a crush on this Respiratory Therapist.

I had a dream about him. (This was about 9 months ago). In the dream, I was wearing ponytails in my hair, and he took his twill tape, that is used to secure breathing tubes, and he tied pretty bows in my hair with it.

Last night after the encounter in the hallway that left me feeling like an idiot, he came back and sat behind me in the corner where I speed chart near the end of the shift.

Facing his computer with his back to me, he rammed his chair into my chair.

When I turned around, and looked at his back, I took my pen and ran it down the middle of his back from the top to the bottom. I watched his body shiver. There was a nurse on the phone next to him.

He turned around, and I was still facing him. He put his papers over our faces and,

He whispered: You are turning me on.

I whispered: Good.

He whispered: Do you have twill tape?

I whispered: No, but I can get it out of your pocket.

He whispered: You should be sitting next to me then.

I turned around, finished my work, and clocked out.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Heart Art

Nurse Joy Tied

Broken Heart

My Heart is Yours

Heart

Remove My Heart

Medical Fetish: A pain in the A

 

[naughtycakes]

Ok, you got a year. I need one year ICU experience and then I am headed to ACLS transport nursing.
I am ready to ride with the big kids with flashing lights and sirens. Seriously thinking about it, sometimes I feel like a bird trapped in an aviary.

I wanna fly in the band aid box!

Have you ever thought about travel nursing? I'm not sure how it works exactly, but I had friends who did this for six-month periods all over the country and they got really good pay and paid accommodations in some nice places.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Have you ever thought about travel nursing? I'm not sure how it works exactly, but I had friends who did this for six-month periods all over the country and they got really good pay and paid accommodations in some nice places.

I have thought about it. I was even thinking of going to UAE to nurse, but I would get homesick. I am comfortable, everyone knows my demeanor, I can be silly, or quiet, and just myself. It is hard to leave the warm place sometimes. I would leave to go to the union hospital, when they call me, and I would leave to do critical care transport though. I would still miss my people!

 

[sweepthefloor]

Perverse Nurse Demonstrates

Pursed Lipped Breathing.