Am I the only one?

[PhoenixHardisty]

Am I the only bisexual person who likes to fantasize about being promiscuous but is super freaked about the reality of it?

On the rare occasion I've had a one-night stand I get crippling anxiety about STDs which makes me never want to do it again. But when I try to actually "date" guys, gay guys seem to assume I am just looking for sex because I'm bi, and the few bi guys I've met do actually seem to be just looking for sex...

I'm starting to wonder if that stereotype is rightly deserved. Given that this forum is labelled as a place for LGBT advice, but it's full of threads about sex and kinks, it seems to me like it contributes to that stereotype, and consequently prejudice against BT people.

At the same time, am I the only T-girl who is horrified by "sissy" porn? I watched a "sissy hypnosis video" and it made me feel sick; I've never had that reaction to porn before. I get that it has a right to exist, but it seems to me that it is porn (like other porn) made for a specific audience, in this case bi guys who are still in the closet, at least publicly. I think that sissy porn contributes to negative stereotypes about transgender people. I've been treated as a "sissy" by people in my real life even though that is not how I want to be treated.

Maybe I'm just a special snowflake, but I can't help but wonder how many other bi T people come to this forum and end up just feeling alone and hopeless rather than actually finding meaningful advice/help from the LGBT community

 

[Escierto]

I know exactly where you are coming from and I have commented on it myself. There are threads called feminine men and various other things but it perpetuates these wrong headed ideas. Transgender women are not men. They are not cross dressers. They are not sissies. They are women and they should be treated as such. That’s my rant for today.

 

[OldFred65]

I know exactly where you are coming from and I have commented on it myself. There are threads called feminine men and various other things but it perpetuates these wrong headed ideas. Transgender women are not men. They are not cross dressers. They are not sissies. They are women and they should be treated as such. That’s my rant for today.

You are absolutely right.

 

[PhoenixHardisty]

Thank you (both) for replying! It feels good to know I'm not alone thinking that way

 

[Delawareguy]

If you have a dick......you are a guy. Not a girl.
You're on here crying and looking for help like a whining little bitch but you're a guy. A wimpy guy who wants to be a woman, but still a guy.

And that's how most others view you. Those outside your little network of equally delusional friends. Sorry, that's the truth.

 

[Escierto]

I put Delawareguy on my ignore list. He is an asshole who is not worth seeing or responding to.

 

[PhoenixHardisty]

Yeah, I mean it's pretty ironic (although not surprising) to come on this particular thread with that BS while ignoring all the sissy stuff from dudes who are clearly in-the-closet regarding their gender identity. It takes courage and strength to come out as trans instead of hiding it and/or repressing it. The more someone represses their gender identity the more it comes out as a kink/fetish instead of a genuine part of their character/personality, reinforcing the cycle of shame and making it more difficult to come out. When you repress something, it also tends to manifest in terms of aggression towards that thing, because you haven't come to terms with it yourself and learned to accept and love yourself for who you really are. The worst hate always comes from the people most deeply repressed (cough Delawareguy cough); when I meet cis men who are genuinely straight, they have always been polite and respectful about and to non-cis people. It's the self-identifying "straight" men who are not actually straight but who repress their true selves that tend to be hostile. Alas, not everyone has the courage to admit to themselves who they really are, and most will never get there.

 

[OldFred65]

If you have a dick......you are a guy. Not a girl.
You're on here crying and looking for help like a whining little bitch but you're a guy. A wimpy guy who wants to be a woman, but still a guy.

And that's how most others view you. Those outside your little network of equally delusional friends. Sorry, that's the truth.

I feel the opposite. If you have boobs, you're a woman, regardless if they are implants. Our grandson's spouse has a cock and boobs and we refer to "her" as his wife, although "he" was his husband when they married.

 

[PhoenixHardisty]

Also, to give a bit of context for this thread - the issue became more clear to me lately when I went to the doctor about an x-ray for a ski injury I sustained. It was the second time I had been to this doctor and he'd seen my shaved legs, and his demeanour immediately changed from one that was respectful and empathetic to one that was awkward and condescending.

He belittled my injury, but the reality was it was the worst injury of my life after breaking over a dozen different bones in my body from a lifetime of mountain biking, bmx, skateboarding, skiing, etc. I crashed on a rail and slammed into the pointed end of it with my hip. After an hour-long ordeal getting myself off the mountain alone covered with blood I finally made it to the first-aid tent where they patched me up, I then had to drive myself to the hospital during which the cut opened back up and I spend the last hour of the drive sitting in a pool of my blood. Following that I've had three weeks of constant pain, was barely able to walk for two weeks, and still have an advocado-size lump on my upper leg. Despite that I've continued to work and be a good parent while dragging myself through the rehab process alone.

I know my friends, still all straight/cis men at this point, will happily back me up as someone who is definitely not a wimp. And the few (thankfully) physical fights I've been involved in throughout my life I have won easily. I'm proud of my strength and resilience, which helps me overcome the shame I felt from repressing my gender identity for a long time. Obviously none of this will change the mind of people like Delawareguy, but I hope that other LGBT people who are struggling with their identities might read it and understand that it's ok to be girly, it's ok to cry and to talk about your feelings and act in ways that get you labelled as a wimp/sissy by the BS macho folk who lack the strength to come to terms with themselves. What is not ok is lashing out at other people because you can't come to terms with or accept your own true identity. That is what makes a person weak rather than strong.

 

[Escierto]

Yeah, I mean it's pretty ironic (although not surprising) to come on this particular thread with that BS while ignoring all the sissy stuff from dudes who are clearly in-the-closet regarding their gender identity. It takes courage and strength to come out as trans instead of hiding it and/or repressing it. The more someone represses their gender identity the more it comes out as a kink/fetish instead of a genuine part of their character/personality, reinforcing the cycle of shame and making it more difficult to come out. When you repress something, it also tends to manifest in terms of aggression towards that thing, because you haven't come to terms with it yourself and learned to accept and love yourself for who you really are. The worst hate always comes from the people most deeply repressed (cough Delawareguy cough); when I meet cis men who are genuinely straight, they have always been polite and respectful about and to non-cis people. It's the self-identifying "straight" men who are not actually straight but who repress their true selves that tend to be hostile. Alas, not everyone has the courage to admit to themselves who they really are, and most will never get there.

Well said.

 

[Delawareguy]

Yeah, I mean it's pretty ironic (although not surprising) to come on this particular thread with that BS while ignoring all the sissy stuff from dudes who are clearly in-the-closet regarding their gender identity. It takes courage and strength to come out as trans instead of hiding it and/or repressing it. The more someone represses their gender identity the more it comes out as a kink/fetish instead of a genuine part of their character/personality, reinforcing the cycle of shame and making it more difficult to come out. When you repress something, it also tends to manifest in terms of aggression towards that thing, because you haven't come to terms with it yourself and learned to accept and love yourself for who you really are. The worst hate always comes from the people most deeply repressed (cough Delawareguy cough); when I meet cis men who are genuinely straight, they have always been polite and respectful about and to non-cis people. It's the self-identifying "straight" men who are not actually straight but who repress their true selves that tend to be hostile. Alas, not everyone has the courage to admit to themselves who they really are, and most will never get there.

An armchair-psychiatrist you certainly aren't. You can believe whatever you want about me but I am very secure with my sexuality and my gender identity. I know who I "really am" and what interests me sexually. I have no interest in being a female. Nor do I want to look, dress or act like one. I also have no romantic, personal or loving interest in men. I am not latently gay, as you seem to suggest.

You can pat yourself on the back with your talk of how courageous and brave you are for coming out as "trans", but most people will always view you as a freak-show. I don't say that to be hateful. It just happens to be reality.

 

[missyunderstanding]

You are not alone

Thank you (both) for replying! It feels good to know I'm not alone thinking that way

You are not alone. Very common actually. Just go visit the waiting room of a public STD clinic and find out how many guys like you were able to get past their fear of getting some hideous infection long enough to get some hideous infection.

 

[Delawareguy]

Also, to give a bit of context for this thread - the issue became more clear to me lately when I went to the doctor about an x-ray for a ski injury I sustained. It was the second time I had been to this doctor and he'd seen my shaved legs, and his demeanour immediately changed from one that was respectful and empathetic to one that was awkward and condescending.

He belittled my injury, but the reality was it was the worst injury of my life after breaking over a dozen different bones in my body from a lifetime of mountain biking, bmx, skateboarding, skiing, etc. I crashed on a rail and slammed into the pointed end of it with my hip. After an hour-long ordeal getting myself off the mountain alone covered with blood I finally made it to the first-aid tent where they patched me up, I then had to drive myself to the hospital during which the cut opened back up and I spend the last hour of the drive sitting in a pool of my blood. Following that I've had three weeks of constant pain, was barely able to walk for two weeks, and still have an advocado-size lump on my upper leg. Despite that I've continued to work and be a good parent while dragging myself through the rehab process alone.

I know my friends, still all straight/cis men at this point, will happily back me up as someone who is definitely not a wimp. And the few (thankfully) physical fights I've been involved in throughout my life I have won easily. I'm proud of my strength and resilience, which helps me overcome the shame I felt from repressing my gender identity for a long time. Obviously none of this will change the mind of people like Delawareguy, but I hope that other LGBT people who are struggling with their identities might read it and understand that it's ok to be girly, it's ok to cry and to talk about your feelings and act in ways that get you labelled as a wimp/sissy by the BS macho folk who lack the strength to come to terms with themselves. What is not ok is lashing out at other people because you can't come to terms with or accept your own true identity. That is what makes a person weak rather than strong.

I question your perception and assumption that your doctor had this change in demeanor simply because you have shaved legs. I think you are more sensitive and insecure about having shaved legs than he is concerned with you having shaved legs. I am sure he has seen plenty of men or boys who shave their legs. Competitive swimmers do it regularly and so do cyclists. The fact that you shave your legs seems more odd to you than it would to him.

I am not sure in what way you think you might be trying to change my mind. Men who make an effort to appear as someone other than their biological gender are going to be seen as freakish. Men who feel the need to make an issue of it, and proudly proclaim they are something other than male, even more so. People perceiving you as freakish is the norm. Very few people are going to react and respond to you as they would to any other male. And I would guess you desire that reaction. So you can make the point that you are "different" (read "special"). But your doctor most likely couldn't care less whether you have shaved legs or not. Maybe it was something else about you he found objectionable. Like maybe your attitude, insecurity or hyper-sensitivity?

 

[Delawareguy]

I put Delawareguy on my ignore list. He is an asshole who is not worth seeing or responding to.

As I am sure he ignores most everyone else, who also see him as a freak.

No, don't pay any attention to the man behind the curtain. He is wrong and will go away, even though in this case most everyone is behind the curtain and I am sure it's hard to ignore that fact. You just have to be so "brave". LMAO

 

[AlexBailey]

I like sissy porn.

It really turns me on because I relate to being a guy who acts like girl in bed. Unfortunately I think it does reinforce stereotypes. The problem though isn't the stereotype, it's the way some people take offense and trash on, or even want to hurt others because of their own prejudices.


Here in the US, some take great offense to a man who looks at all female, yet in many cases they love seeing a woman dressed in overtly sexual ways. In some places in the world, men will throw acid on a woman for showing her face in public. Why? Fear of feeling attracted to something or of losing something? Some sense of thinking they are doing the right thing in the eyes of god?



I identify as non-binary gender-queer. I've got a male body and outwardly act in ways most people consider male but I have many traits that could be considered feminine. I'm in a monogamous relationship with a woman and though I would love to experience more facets of my sexuality I am committed to my partner of 20+ years. It is not always easy, though how many people and couples can claim that life always is?

I've raised three sons and a foster daughter, all straight though one (as far as I know) has experimented. All have an understanding that gender identity does not define whether someone is a good person or worthy of a job or friendship. All of my kids know how I identify and don't seem to have any issues with it.

Unlike my current avatar, I'm not openly overtly sexual (unless I'm at a club or a place where such thing is welcomed) though I do often dress in ways that are not traditionally male. All of my life I have often been mistaken for female. When I started working in the trades I always wore clothes that were appropriate for work, yet as an apprentice, I was teased and not taken seriously simply because I was 'too pretty for a guy', until I grew facial hair. Even then, and still now, I am often mistaken as female from behind.

The different reactions from those who realize their mistake are funny to me now. It's rare that I get a bad reaction but when I do it is hard to say what they are upset about. My wife says it's often guys who are mad because they're confused and insecure to find they are attracted to a male -- I don't know, I'm not sure why they feel offended but some do. I've met tomboys who get similar reactions.. Prejudice made me feel I needed to assimilate to make it in my carreer. I'm a contractor now and have more clients than I need now, so I could care less what people think of how I dress.


Why is differentiating gender in daily fashion so important? it reminds me of how a woman is supposed to be Miss, Mrs, Mz... Why do they need to broadcast their availability to the world? For whose sake?

Why do people get upset by how someone else pressents? Other than a tit-slinging bra, what item of clothing has never been 'normal ' to either sex at some time in the past few hundred years? Why would someone be upset if I wear leggings with a short skirt with a nice button-up shirt? Look at the frilly shirts, the powdered wigs, knickers (knee-length pants) with stocking and pumps worn by the likes of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson? Lol.

And why would anyone who believes in the concept of 'personal freedoms' care what anyone else does or watches in privacy? I can understand being against exploitive pornography, but believe me, if I had come upon the opportunity to do it in my twenties it would not have been something I was forced into.


I've known men who had abnormal breast growth and I've known women with facial hair -- just as their creator made them. Why should anyone worry about the opinions of some closed minded jerks? Because they might hurt them? Who is the criminal in that case?

 

[J1biboi]

I like sissy porn.

It really turns me on because I relate to being a guy who acts like girl in bed. Unfortunately I think it does reinforce stereotypes. The problem though isn't the stereotype, it's the way some people take offense and trash on, or even want to hurt others because of their own prejudices.


Here in the US, some take great offense to a man who looks at all female, yet in many cases they love seeing a woman dressed in overtly sexual ways. In some places in the world, men will throw acid on a woman for showing her face in public. Why? Fear of feeling attracted to something or of losing something? Some sense of thinking they are doing the right thing in the eyes of god?



I identify as non-binary gender-queer. I've got a male body and outwardly act in ways most people consider male but I have many traits that could be considered feminine. I'm in a monogamous relationship with a woman and though I would love to experience more facets of my sexuality I am committed to my partner of 20+ years. It is not always easy, though how many people and couples can claim that life always is?

I've raised three sons and a foster daughter, all straight though one (as far as I know) has experimented. All have an understanding that gender identity does not define whether someone is a good person or worthy of a job or friendship. All of my kids know how I identify and don't seem to have any issues with it.

Unlike my current avatar, I'm not openly overtly sexual (unless I'm at a club or a place where such thing is welcomed) though I do often dress in ways that are not traditionally male. All of my life I have often been mistaken for female. When I started working in the trades I always wore clothes that were appropriate for work, yet as an apprentice, I was teased and not taken seriously simply because I was 'too pretty for a guy', until I grew facial hair. Even then, and still now, I am often mistaken as female from behind.

The different reactions from those who realize their mistake are funny to me now. It's rare that I get a bad reaction but when I do it is hard to say what they are upset about. My wife says it's often guys who are mad because they're confused and insecure to find they are attracted to a male -- I don't know, I'm not sure why they feel offended but some do. I've met tomboys who get similar reactions.. Prejudice made me feel I needed to assimilate to make it in my carreer. I'm a contractor now and have more clients than I need now, so I could care less what people think of how I dress.


Why is differentiating gender in daily fashion so important? it reminds me of how a woman is supposed to be Miss, Mrs, Mz... Why do they need to broadcast their availability to the world? For whose sake?

Why do people get upset by how someone else pressents? Other than a tit-slinging bra, what item of clothing has never been 'normal ' to either sex at some time in the past few hundred years? Why would someone be upset if I wear leggings with a short skirt with a nice button-up shirt? Look at the frilly shirts, the powdered wigs, knickers (knee-length pants) with stocking and pumps worn by the likes of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson? Lol.

And why would anyone who believes in the concept of 'personal freedoms' care what anyone else does or watches in privacy? I can understand being against exploitive pornography, but believe me, if I had come upon the opportunity to do it in my twenties it would not have been something I was forced into.


I've known men who had abnormal breast growth and I've known women with facial hair -- just as their creator made them. Why should anyone worry about the opinions of some closed minded jerks? Because they might hurt them? Who is the criminal in that case?

So very well stated. I couldn't agree more.

 

[Escierto]

I like sissy porn.

It really turns me on because I relate to being a guy who acts like girl in bed. Unfortunately I think it does reinforce stereotypes. The problem though isn't the stereotype, it's the way some people take offense and trash on, or even want to hurt others because of their own prejudices.


Here in the US, some take great offense to a man who looks at all female, yet in many cases they love seeing a woman dressed in overtly sexual ways. In some places in the world, men will throw acid on a woman for showing her face in public. Why? Fear of feeling attracted to something or of losing something? Some sense of thinking they are doing the right thing in the eyes of god?



I identify as non-binary gender-queer. I've got a male body and outwardly act in ways most people consider male but I have many traits that could be considered feminine. I'm in a monogamous relationship with a woman and though I would love to experience more facets of my sexuality I am committed to my partner of 20+ years. It is not always easy, though how many people and couples can claim that life always is?

I've raised three sons and a foster daughter, all straight though one (as far as I know) has experimented. All have an understanding that gender identity does not define whether someone is a good person or worthy of a job or friendship. All of my kids know how I identify and don't seem to have any issues with it.

Unlike my current avatar, I'm not openly overtly sexual (unless I'm at a club or a place where such thing is welcomed) though I do often dress in ways that are not traditionally male. All of my life I have often been mistaken for female. When I started working in the trades I always wore clothes that were appropriate for work, yet as an apprentice, I was teased and not taken seriously simply because I was 'too pretty for a guy', until I grew facial hair. Even then, and still now, I am often mistaken as female from behind.

The different reactions from those who realize their mistake are funny to me now. It's rare that I get a bad reaction but when I do it is hard to say what they are upset about. My wife says it's often guys who are mad because they're confused and insecure to find they are attracted to a male -- I don't know, I'm not sure why they feel offended but some do. I've met tomboys who get similar reactions.. Prejudice made me feel I needed to assimilate to make it in my carreer. I'm a contractor now and have more clients than I need now, so I could care less what people think of how I dress.


Why is differentiating gender in daily fashion so important? it reminds me of how a woman is supposed to be Miss, Mrs, Mz... Why do they need to broadcast their availability to the world? For whose sake?

Why do people get upset by how someone else pressents? Other than a tit-slinging bra, what item of clothing has never been 'normal ' to either sex at some time in the past few hundred years? Why would someone be upset if I wear leggings with a short skirt with a nice button-up shirt? Look at the frilly shirts, the powdered wigs, knickers (knee-length pants) with stocking and pumps worn by the likes of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson? Lol.

And why would anyone who believes in the concept of 'personal freedoms' care what anyone else does or watches in privacy? I can understand being against exploitive pornography, but believe me, if I had come upon the opportunity to do it in my twenties it would not have been something I was forced into.


I've known men who had abnormal breast growth and I've known women with facial hair -- just as their creator made them. Why should anyone worry about the opinions of some closed minded jerks? Because they might hurt them? Who is the criminal in that case?

You make a lot of good points and I completely agree with you. I hope more and more people are opening their eyes to the straitjackets they have been living in. Being with my girlfriend has been tremendously liberating and I admire her bravery in being her true self every minute of the day.

 

[Delawareguy]

I like sissy porn.

It really turns me on because I relate to being a guy who acts like girl in bed. Unfortunately I think it does reinforce stereotypes. The problem though isn't the stereotype, it's the way some people take offense and trash on, or even want to hurt others because of their own prejudices.


Here in the US, some take great offense to a man who looks at all female, yet in many cases they love seeing a woman dressed in overtly sexual ways. In some places in the world, men will throw acid on a woman for showing her face in public. Why? Fear of feeling attracted to something or of losing something? Some sense of thinking they are doing the right thing in the eyes of god?



I identify as non-binary gender-queer. I've got a male body and outwardly act in ways most people consider male but I have many traits that could be considered feminine. I'm in a monogamous relationship with a woman and though I would love to experience more facets of my sexuality I am committed to my partner of 20+ years. It is not always easy, though how many people and couples can claim that life always is?

I've raised three sons and a foster daughter, all straight though one (as far as I know) has experimented. All have an understanding that gender identity does not define whether someone is a good person or worthy of a job or friendship. All of my kids know how I identify and don't seem to have any issues with it.

Unlike my current avatar, I'm not openly overtly sexual (unless I'm at a club or a place where such thing is welcomed) though I do often dress in ways that are not traditionally male. All of my life I have often been mistaken for female. When I started working in the trades I always wore clothes that were appropriate for work, yet as an apprentice, I was teased and not taken seriously simply because I was 'too pretty for a guy', until I grew facial hair. Even then, and still now, I am often mistaken as female from behind.

The different reactions from those who realize their mistake are funny to me now. It's rare that I get a bad reaction but when I do it is hard to say what they are upset about. My wife says it's often guys who are mad because they're confused and insecure to find they are attracted to a male -- I don't know, I'm not sure why they feel offended but some do. I've met tomboys who get similar reactions.. Prejudice made me feel I needed to assimilate to make it in my carreer. I'm a contractor now and have more clients than I need now, so I could care less what people think of how I dress.


Why is differentiating gender in daily fashion so important? it reminds me of how a woman is supposed to be Miss, Mrs, Mz... Why do they need to broadcast their availability to the world? For whose sake?

Why do people get upset by how someone else pressents? Other than a tit-slinging bra, what item of clothing has never been 'normal ' to either sex at some time in the past few hundred years? Why would someone be upset if I wear leggings with a short skirt with a nice button-up shirt? Look at the frilly shirts, the powdered wigs, knickers (knee-length pants) with stocking and pumps worn by the likes of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson? Lol.

And why would anyone who believes in the concept of 'personal freedoms' care what anyone else does or watches in privacy? I can understand being against exploitive pornography, but believe me, if I had come upon the opportunity to do it in my twenties it would not have been something I was forced into.


I've known men who had abnormal breast growth and I've known women with facial hair -- just as their creator made them. Why should anyone worry about the opinions of some closed minded jerks? Because they might hurt them? Who is the criminal in that case?

No one cares if you like "sissy" porn, or even cares WHY you like it. They do not care if you wear your dresses and high-heels. They don't care how you "identify", nor should they be forced to care. Why do you feel the need to identify as anything? Why does anyone have to know your "special gender-identity", other than someone who wants to have a personal, intimate relationship with you? Why do you insist that it matters? Why do I need to care about who you sleep with or have sex with. Why do you need others to know that about you? Do you need to be seen as "special" because of it? You certainly desire to make yourself "special" by dressing in female clothes. Why?

The general public is never going to accept people who feel the need to be identified by their sexual interests or gender orientation. No one cares and no one wants to have to care. But you insist that we should be made to accept it as normal and not judge you. But people judge everything they see, every single day. You judge. I judge. We all put judgement on everything and everyone we see. It's normal. Having the need to be identified by everyone else by your sexual interests, fetishes or gender issues is not normal. And it will never be accepted as such. No matter how much you might want to be able to dress like a bedroom queen in public it will never be accepted. No matter how many "non-binary, non-conforming" people wear their hair bald on one side and long and purple on the other, and have 13 facial piercings, and dress like a circus clown, it will never be accepted as normal. And no, they aren't going to get that job. People will shun them. People do not want to deal with them or their issues. Especially not everyday because they have to work with them. So they will feel like their rites have been violated because they were denied something simply because of their "gender identity". They weren't. It was because they wore it on their sleeve.

You might feel this forum is a "safe space" but it is a public forum so some people are not going to be as receptive to your quirks as you might desire. Honestly most people are not receptive to it, and you know that. Otherwise you would not be reluctant to expose that part of yourself publicly, in part or in total. But you go ahead and wear that dress, sweetheart. Just don't think you will ever be accepted as normal and don't expect to not be judged. That's the real world you are having issues with. The rest of us are very okay with it.

 

[AlexBailey]

Dear Delawareguy,

There are so many weak arguments in your response:

No one cares if you like "sissy" porn, or even cares WHY you like it.

You're objectively incorrect and obviously trolling from your very first line. The purpose for this, and most other forum threads, is 'conversation,' and it's nothing to be afraid of or offended by. The OP of this thread asked the questions that I answered.

At the same time, am I the only T-girl who is horrified by "sissy" porn? I watched a "sissy hypnosis video" and it made me feel sick; I've never had that reaction to porn before. I get that it has a right to exist, but it seems to me that it is porn (like other porn) made for a specific audience, in this case bi guys who are still in the closet, at least publicly. I think that sissy porn contributes to negative stereotypes about transgender people.

You are also objectively incorrect and/or making assumptions about many things below:

it will never be accepted as normal. And no, they aren't going to get that job. People will shun them. People do not want to deal with them or their issues. Especially not everyday because they have to work with them. So they will feel like their rites have been violated....

"Rites"? LOL. What a cute Freudian slip. Do you feel that I'm violating your "rites"?

Rites : a word that means ceremonies or rituals as prevalent in a religion or faith. Thus, a rite is a ceremonial act and requires observation by the people following that religion or faith.

You poor snowflake. Apparently we're both snowflakes in different ways. I'm unique, while you melt down into a rant under the slightest heat. You speak for the 'people'? Lol. My wife works for a large company and her supervisor is non-binary. They were the person who did the hiring, they are responsible for the actions and decisions of their department, and the business has been successfully growing -- even during covid. But you're 'rite' about one thing ; people don't care how they identify or how they present -- as long as they do well with their work; just like me with my successful business. In fact you could accurately say that all of our family income has come through non-binary unicorns-- imagine that! Two unicorns have been responsible for the incomes that have supported the six people of my family and have employed many more. I'm a sought after specialist contractor, I've never needed to advertise because my reputation is strong enough to bring me more than enough work, and the fact that some people may choose not to work with me because I don't always dress as typically male makes it so I don't have to deal with their prejudice. They can hire someone less skilled than me -- no skin off of my teeth.

Do you need to be seen as "special" because of it? You certainly desire to make yourself "special" by dressing in female clothes. Why?

You missed that I suggest that my identification and what I wear is not important -- it's only my personal choice.

Another point that you ignored is that when I was an apprentice, I did assimilate. I did it in order to appease the prejudice of others in society. Things have changed for myself and within my community that I and many other enbys no longer need to assimilate to protect the sensitivities of others. Now that you've finished your rant, care to answer any of the questions I posed? There were a bunch of them:

Why is differentiating gender in daily fashion so important? it reminds me of how a woman is supposed to be Miss, Mrs, Mz... Why do they need to broadcast their availability to the world? For whose sake?

Why do people get upset by how someone else pressents? Other than a tit-slinging bra, what item of clothing has never been 'normal ' to either sex at some time in the past few hundred years? Why would someone be upset if I wear leggings with a short skirt with a nice button-up shirt? Look at the frilly shirts, the powdered wigs, knickers (knee-length pants) with stocking and pumps worn by the likes of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson? Lol.

And why would anyone who believes in the concept of 'personal freedoms' care what anyone else does or watches in privacy? Why should anyone worry about the opinions of some closed minded jerks? Because they might hurt them? Who is the criminal in that case?

I don't expect to get much serious conversation or honest reflection out of you. I may have judged you incorrectly, harshly perhaps, but you laid out your ethnocentric feelings so well that I doubt that I have. Are you worth responding to? Have I given you more attention than you deserve? I'll give you another chance before I hit the ignore button.

 

[PhoenixHardisty]

The comment about the STD clinic hasn't really born out in my case; the times I've been there has been a pretty diverse crowd. Of course it depends on the neighbourhood you go to. Obviously the clinics are filled with people that represent the demographics where they live.

In Canada women have a higher rate of chlamydia while men have a higher rate of gonorrhea, hiv and syphilis, but there are over 3 times as many cases of chlamydia overall as for the other three combined, making the rate significantly higher for women overall in terms of the actual number of STD cases from 2008 to 2017. I would agree that the upward trend in gonorrhea is worrying, and also worrying is the trend of younger women having a disproportionately large infection rate

https://www.canada.ca/en/public-hea...ually-transmitted-infections-canada-2017.html

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7043211/

 

[PhoenixHardisty]

AlexBailey, I appreciate your responses thank you.

I'm certainly not against the right of sissy porn to exist, or your right to enjoy it, even though I know I'm kinda ruining the fun sorry. I like trans porn, and am generally most interested when the trans person is the bottom because I am too so yay go girl ring that bell!

I think I have a negative reaction to sissy porn tho because of the strong power dynamic that affects gender inequality in our world. If people have a "right" to free speech that degrades transgender people, then I certainly claim the right to voice my objections and provide an explanation for why that happens.

Like we both mention, sissy porn reinforces a stereotype about transgender people, contributes to prejudice against them and people do act on that prejudice. I therefore think the stereotype is harmful, that it's part of the problem rather than saying that people are the problem.

It freaks me out is that I was also part of the problem in my own eyes. I was attracted to the sissy kink before I finally realized and could admit to myself that I was and wanted to be trans, and before I started getting treated like a sissy by a doctor who had previously treated me respectfully. Unlike you, I have not recently been in a relationship where that kink was indulged or accepted, so I went through a long period of feeling shamed instead. It sounds like you live in a good community where you feel accepted now and that is a very good thing.

Thanks for fighting the battle with Delaware guy; I've still got him ignored. I too am a special snowflake and melt under extreme heterosexual heat. Also thank you to Escierto, OldFred65, and J1biboi for speaking up

 

[Delawareguy]

I don't expect to get much serious conversation or honest reflection out of you. I may have judged you incorrectly, harshly perhaps, but you laid out your ethnocentric feelings so well that I doubt that I have. Are you worth responding to? Have I given you more attention than you deserve? I'll give you another chance before I hit the ignore button.

[/QUOTE]

You can rationalize it and point out cases where "non-binary" people are accepted but my guess is they don't make there gender identity or sexual preference an issue. And I am sure most do not. It seems to be only those who need to make it their defining characteristic that causes the problem.

And yes, they do openly fight for "rights" they feel they need to be legally protected by. (Not "rites' as I had originally written. My spelling oversight, but you knew what I meant).

You can ignore me. I really do not care. Just the same as I don't care that you want to wear a dress. But please, don't make me care.

 

[Delawareguy]

If you don't like sissy porn and have a negative reaction to it, why the hell do you watch it?

Bravery?
Guilt?
Self-abuse?
Someone makes you watch it against your will?

 

[AlexBailey]

You can rationalize it and point out cases where "non-binary" people are accepted but my guess is they don't make there gender identity or sexual preference an issue. And I am sure most do not. It seems to be only those who need to make it their defining characteristic that causes the problem.

And yes, they do openly fight for "rights" they feel they need to be legally protected by. (Not "rites' as I had originally written. My spelling oversight, but you knew what I meant).

You can ignore me. I really do not care. Just the same as I don't care that you want to wear a dress. But please, don't make me care.

I definitely cannot make you care anymore than I can make you read or think.

And yes, I knew what you meant. That's why I referred to it as a 'Freudian slip'.

I get the feeling that you would not be brave enough nor feel comfortable presenting as you wanted if you did not kowtow to cultural standards within your community. I wonder how you would treat your own XY chromosome kid if they showed a propensity toward non-traditional gender roles at an early age.

Would you make your son have short hair? Would you demand that a daughter wear makeup and shave her legs?

So many melting snowflakes change their minds when something hits home. Unless or until something does you will probably never have an understanding beyond your own myopic views. Again, I may be misjudging you, but I really do not need to care about you, do I?

Still no answers to any my many questions? Who is ignoring who? Why are you even here? Lol.

 

[stickygirl]

DG is just another displaced troll from the Reps and only here to bully people, except, he doesn't bully - he just bores the crap out of everyone. Fuck me - the number of times I've heard that same old same *yawn*

Miss, Mrs Mz - I've had an argument with a sports organisation that insisted, through the format of their website, that instructors assigned a prefix to the women participants. I objected because, gender issues aside, how am I to know if a woman is married without directly asking her? Of course the prefixes originate from ownership, not so much availability. If women have assimilated the shorthand, it's to keep creeps away that make assumptions about their 'availability' to men. What young woman doesn't keep a paste engagement ring in their purse? It cuts both ways, but stems from male chauvinism.

As for the OP and her dislike for sissy porn, I totally agree. I used to be offended but then, through hanging around Lit, I decided I was the one at fault. Who am I to discourage that sexual kink? I give people, even the kinkiest ones, the benefit of the doubt - only sociopaths and the like cannot distinguish between fantasy and reality. Besides - we're here discussing the problem. If it was banned it would disappear underground someplace.

Sissies are not trans women - simple as that. Transgender people often discover themselves through their sexual curiosity if they've had to suppress their natural expression and conform to binary straitjackets. More often they've always known, but when they started to present their natural gender as children they had it beaten out of them.

The problem with sissy porn is when people conflate what they see in porn to make assumptions about anyone non-binary. I do think that the political movement and representation is already working and adults over the age of 30 understand who and why trans people are. Social change takes time and effort but in the end, most change occurs when a generation dies out and take their prejudice to the grave. It was the same for gays and lesbians - it would be nice if it happened for racism and sexism too. One step at a time.