Are women over 50 invisible?

quietlylooking said:

Thanks for all who have replied here. It seems that we're not invisible at all to many men, which is encouraging to hear.

And Runsilent, men over 50 are not invisible either.

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Certainly visible to me. Love to travel and admire the 50+ woman strolling thru the airport. So confident and sexy. Just take a peek and you’ll see we’re all admiring you!

In fairness, what he said was that he doesn't find women over 50 attractive, he fancies women in their twenties. In my opinion he is stupid to chose based on age, rather than personality or how attractive they are but he isn't alone in this, just more honest.

I have two female friends, one 68 the other is 73, both of them are far more attracted to men in their forties with a well developed body - just what turns them on.

Personally I find a lot of women over fifty very attractive and I might think that a woman in her twenties is attractive but (even if I was single) I am unlikely to have enough in common with them to consider them a longterm partner.

Many women "bloom" with age, becoming more attractive as they become more confident in themselves.

quietlylooking said:

"French author, 50, says women over 50 are too old to love
Yann Moix, a prize-winning novelist, says women of same age are ‘invisible’ to him."

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Such a view is grossly outdated, I believe, both on personal and society levels.

Over 50

redbaron83 said:

Women over 50 are amazing to me!!

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There is nothing more sensual than a mature woman that is confident about her sexuality And knows what she wants and goes after it Like that cougar that she is

May I humbly submit...

I've seen many women over fifty who have made themselves invisible.

It may be hormones, self image, grand children, programmed expectations, menopause, or some other reason.

They ignore all of the social clues that drive the interaction between men and women. They stop reaching out to others and build a shell around them.

They refuse to notice men, they won't trade glances, they won't do the least bit of flirting. Touching is almost repulsive, giving or receiving affection is foreign and done by rote, not by emotion. Romance is unrecognized. They never dress to be noticed; they choose drab comfortable camouflage.

These women might as well be visitors from another planet who haven't learned to blend in with the natives.

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Now in my mid-60s, I guarantee I'm not invisible!

That said, I usually attract attention from people who are roughly parallel in age. And my interest is similarly drawn within generational bounds. It's not that I don't find younger bodies attractive, but part of "sexy" for me is shared culture, and in so many ways, that's age-based.

Then too, there's no formula or mandate for what folks must find sexy. I can give the author a pass--to each his own.

I wonder, though, if maybe the 50+ women he finds invisible are just as happy HE doesn't notice them? I'm sometimes prone to quick judgments, and choose not to engage with people I don't think I'll like. Just a thought.

ReadyOne said:

I've seen many women over fifty who have made themselves invisible.

It may be hormones, self image, grand children, programmed expectations, menopause, or some other reason.

They ignore all of the social clues that drive the interaction between men and women. They stop reaching out to others and build a shell around them.

They refuse to notice men, they won't trade glances, they won't do the least bit of flirting. Touching is almost repulsive, giving or receiving affection is foreign and done by rote, not by emotion. Romance is unrecognized. They never dress to be noticed; they choose drab comfortable camouflage.

These women might as well be visitors from another planet who haven't learned to blend in with the natives.

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I am a member of a local Meetup social group, in fact that is where I met my wife. There are a number of older women who nearly fit that description, they are happy single and have no interest in romance or a relationship. It is not that they are "invisible" or not warm and friendly, just they are happy with the their life as it is. I, and other male (and female) friends, are welcomed with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and they are affectionate as friends, no more than that.

There are a couple that dress like their mental image of a grandmother almost as a shield but most do not fit that mould.

Just because they no longer want sex or romance it doesn't mean that they are trying to be invisible.

When most older women look in the mirror, they don’t see the youthful beauty that society celebrates. Instead of seeing the character and substance of their life, their attention may be focused on wrinkles, grey hair, the odd bulges in their body that weren’t there a decade before. There is some pressure for women to try to forestall aging: if only they ate right, exercised right, used the right creams, they would continue to look youthful and sterotypically “attractive.” It might be easier to give up rather than to gracefully carry their age as a badge of honor, of survival and experience. It may be easier for some older women to not “try” anymore, especially if menopause and life have made them feel less needful of men. Perhaps they worry that they will appear silly if they flirt with a man, wear their hair long, or show off their legs or breasts with what clothing they wear. I think it helps women to know that men are still interested in them, and that their sexual lives are not over.

women over 50 are invisible, to 20 year old guys. Just like men over 50 are invisible to 20 year old girls. An experienced woman who enjoys sex play and has great orgasms is a very special pleasure.

quietlylooking said:

"French author, 50, says women over 50 are too old to love
Yann Moix, a prize-winning novelist, says women of same age are ‘invisible’ to him."

Link

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I have definitely heard women over 50 — very attractive women, to my eyes— say that this has been their experience.

It surely doesn't work that way for me!

Age is just a number.

definitely not invisible . They are beautiful just like any other woman

quietlylooking said:

"French author, 50, says women over 50 are too old to love
Yann Moix, a prize-winning novelist, says women of same age are ‘invisible’ to him."

Link

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Women over 50, my passion.

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quietlylooking said:

"French author, 50, says women over 50 are too old to love
Yann Moix, a prize-winning novelist, says women of same age are ‘invisible’ to him."

Link

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Wow. Okay...more for everyone else.

quietlylooking said:

As a woman slightly over 50, I'm glad to hear that some men profess to finding our demographic of interest. Still, when I saw the article, it left me a bit sad. Perhaps he's being brutally honest.

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Or he's full of shite?

quietlylooking said:

Perhaps they worry that they will appear silly if they flirt with a man, wear their hair long, or show off their legs or breasts with what clothing they wear. I think it helps women to know that men are still interested in them, and that their sexual lives are not over.

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Yes, this

quietlylooking said:

There is some pressure for women to try to forestall aging: if only they ate right, exercised right, used the right creams, they would continue to look youthful and sterotypically “attractive.” It might be easier to give up rather than to gracefully carry their age as a badge of honor, of survival and experience. It may be easier for some older women to not “try” anymore, especially if menopause and life have made them feel less needful of men. Perhaps they worry that they will appear silly if they flirt with a man, wear their hair long, or show off their legs or breasts with what clothing they wear. I think it helps women to know that men are still interested in them, and that their sexual lives are not over.

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I agree with everything that you have said, and would like to add some additional perspective. I think that there's both synergy and cause-and-effect between your observations and ReadyOne's. There's plenty of posts around Lit about women who no longer desire sex in their existing relationship (and to be fair men, but this thread is about women).

What I would add to ReadyOne's perspective is that if we haven't walked in such a couple's shoes, we may not consider that while these women may no longer desire the physical act of penetration (if we take the posts at face value), and may seem to withdraw from sexual intimacy, I believe they often still often desire companionship, emotional intimacy, hand holding, and other expressions of sexuality - if not sexual penetration.

You are certainly right that women, and men to a lesser extent (perhaps) are often "ranked" on their attractiveness, even within long standing relationships. In addition to physical attractiveness, based on lurking around relationship boards, men are less willing to consider a long term relationship with a woman who isn't interested in the physical act of sex, which puts additional pressure on women.

My wife of 24 years still likes to hear that she's attractive. She is, and part of what makes her attractive is everything that she's been through as a woman, wife, and mother through the years as you point out. Some of those things make it difficult for her to exercise, difficult to lose weight, and often do some of the things that I would like to do. The same can be said of me and all of the issues that start to crop up at my age. My wife's history with me has value to me, colors my perspective, and strengthens our relationship.

A new potential partner doesn't have that history, which is to everyone's disadvantage, I think that it's important for a woman to first be aware of what her sexual needs are in the spectrum of sexuality. Those needs are valid, even when they don't involve penetrative sex, but are just one piece of her sense of satisfaction with her life. A woman who has goals, interests, and hobbies will give off a sense of self confidence and satisfaction with her life, which has been expressed by other posters here. From there it's about communicating those needs, and indeed compromising with a potential Beau about fulfilling each other's needs.

Unfortunately, people with well established lives often view compromise as giving up something. The problem that I've been hearing from single friends and family is that often times one person (men in particular, it seems) are settled into their routine and don't want to change it. They stop thinking in terms of "what can I do to make this relationship satisfying for both of us", and instead are often just looking for someone to step into whatever role they need filled in their life, whether that's a sexual outlet for occasional fun (on their schedule) or someone to take over the laundry and care-taking they need.

I think this contributes to the "unlovable" misconception. It's not that older women and men are unlovable. It seems to be that it becomes more difficult to find a way to build a relationship, functioning as a couple in a fulfilling way for both individuals when people become focused on an almost mercenary view of that relation (i.e. what I get out of it, versus what we can do together). One's value is judged by how well you meet their expectations.

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quietlylooking said:

"French author, 50, says women over 50 are too old to love
Yann Moix, a prize-winning novelist, says women of same age are ‘invisible’ to him."

Link

Click to expand...

Wonder what he would say about women over 60!!! I can promise you, I get more attention from any aged man,or women for that matter,than he’d ever get from any age! What a dickless wonder this guy is!! Lol

quietlylooking said:

As a woman slightly over 50, I'm glad to hear that some men profess to finding our demographic of interest. Still, when I saw the article, it left me a bit sad. Perhaps he's being brutally honest.

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Age has little to do with a woman’s beauty. Women are just beautiful. Luckily what we all see as beautiful varies xx

and I am 52
and never had a higher sex drive!!!
fuck him!!!
and fuck me please!!!!!!

Tnt69 said:

Wonder what he would say about women over 60!!! I can promise you, I get more attention from any aged man,or women for that matter,than he’d ever get from any age! What a dickless wonder this guy is!! Lol

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Love your pic, sexy & beautiful!