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Let's tickle the funny bones :)

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I have never been angered by any form of cake, bun or biscuit, but our local Scottish baker angered me with his attitude when I enquired as to the cost of his fancies.

His hot cross buns, I noticed, were the traditional 1 a penny, 2 a penny,
I asked "what are those on the next shelf up at £2 each?"
"Those are madeira cakes", he chuckled.
 
Jesus and the Disciples walk into a busy Jerusalem restaurant during the Passover rush.

James (always in charge of lads' nights out): "Table for 26, please".

Waiter: "When will the rest of your party be joining you?"

James: "Oh, it's just the 13 of us but we all want to sit at the same side of the table".
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A woman is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she
comes across 3 dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she approaches
them, bends down and starts to stroke one of them: "Ah, you're lovely,
aren't you?" she says to the first dog. "What's your name?" To her
surprise, the dog actually answers her, "My name's Huey, and I've had a
great day going in and out of puddles."

Delighted with this discovery, she moves on to the next dog. "And
what's your name then?" Again, unbelievably, the 2nd dog answers her,
"My name's Lewy, and I've had a great day going in and out of puddles."

And so she moves on to the last dog. "Let me guess," she says. "your
name's Dewy, and you've had a great day going in and out of puddles."

"No," replies the last dog. "My name's Puddles, and I've had an awful
day."
 
Bobby Charlton was asked how he thought the England team of '66 would have fared against Iceland. " I think we'd have won 1-0 " he replied. "Only 1-0?" Said the reporter. "Yes," said Bobby. "Most of us are in our 70's now!"
 
I used to have a blog of all the funny stuff that happens in life and was considering putting it into a book, cuz people just need to laugh more. Here's one of the stories ...and as unbelievable as it is...it's true:

You know those blonde jokes? Well you'd think they're made up, but I had a friend who had a sister that moved to her town. My friend gave her specific directions to her off road home and told her, "Now make sure that you pick a landmark so next time you come here, you'll know where to turn."

The next time she invited her sister out, she waited and waited and waited. Finally, she called her sister's house and when the sister answered she said, "Where are you?"

"I gave up, cuz I couldn't find where to turn."

"I told you to pick a landmark."

"I did, dammit, but it wasn't there anymore."

"Landmarks don't move"

"Well it wasn't there."

Frustrated, the sister said, "What landmark was it?"

"It was a cow and it wasn't there by the fence anymore."


Yep, a true blonde. lol
 
Same blonde:

Her husband was making a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. (Yeah he won't let her near the stove) He forgot the evaporated milk so, sent her to the store and even gave her a note. She was gone for a long time. When she got home she was fuming.

"Why did you want to get rid of me?"

The husband looked at her confused.

"I looked all over the dairy section and there was no such thing as evaporated milk"

"Well it's not in the dairy section you dork," the husband said.

"Yeah, it's nowhere. I asked someone what evaporated means. And they told me it means something that was one thing isn't that thing anymore," she huffed. "You must really think I'm stupid."

He just shook his head
 
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