The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

Handley_Page said:

and you get a bill valued at $10,000 for a coffee machine.


I put in a wet coat.

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SailorJerry said:

and you get a Famous Blue Raincoat.

I put in a ripe banana.

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Tio_Narratore said:

and Chiquita peels for your eyes only.

I put in a date with Carmen Miranda...

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stickygirl said:

But you have to miss the date after an attack of rumbago

I put in a top hat, white tie and tails

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Handley_Page said:

but you miss the carriage to get you to Town for a night out.



I put in a used bicycle tyre.

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get back the used bicycle without the new tyre.

I put in a used tire from a bicycle...

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stickygirl said:

but the bicycle is tired of being used

I put in a tired bicycle's back tyre ( different bicycle )

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Handley_Page said:

and it don't fit.


I put in a new wheel rim

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get the right size Tyre.

I put in the birth of Europa...

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SailorJerry said:

and you get the downfall of Pluto.

I put in a spectacular Aurora Australis.

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Handley_Page said:

It's very black out there owing to a power cut.

I put in a torch lamp

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SailorJerry said:

And you get a lamprey, that just won't come off.

I put in a coffee table book about bioluminescence. Enjoy.

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Handley_Page said:

Oh; how interesting: Feet up on the coffee table and - snooze. . . .



I put in an LED.

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Tio_Narratore said:

and your story gets DEL.

I put in a STET...

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Handley_Page said:

but the ink has faded.


I put in a jar of Tate & Lyle's Golden Syrup.

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Handley_Page said:

but the ink has faded.


I put in a jar of Tate & Lyle's Golden Syrup.

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FallingToFly said:

And you get back homemade peach preserves.

I put in a headache and a crying baby.

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get back a bottle of Crown Brand Lily White Corn Syrup.

I put in a Canadian cornbread recipe...

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Handley_Page said:

And the baby spills the contents of its nappy all over the recipe page.
[sorry; best I could manage at the time]


I put in a bottle of old-fashioned baby-soothing liquid
(J Collis Browns, Dinnefords, etc.)

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get charged with child neglect since it contains opioids.

I put in a breast full of real old-fashioned baby soothing liquid...

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FallingToFly said:

And you get a topless woman sitting around the house crying.

I put in a 6lb mustard and brown sugar glazed pork roast.

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SailorJerry said:

and you get 1st prize at the New Orleans showing, but Gordon Ramsay is NOT happy.

I put in a rolling pin. (For self defense, of course)

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Handley_Page said:

but it's no good for doing the tarmac on the road outside.



I put in a spare wheel for a Railway Engine.

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SailorJerry said:

but there's no jack.

I put in a flattened Lincoln head penny.

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Tio_Narratore said:

and the head penny replaces it with a rounded Cadillac.

I put in Harper's version of the War of 1812...

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SailorJerry said:

and you get a box of Laura Secord chocolates.

I put in an underground railway, headed north.

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