Do men really care if their partner cums?

It sounds like you have had a bunch of inconsiderate sex partners.

With my hand to my heart, I would rather give my partner an orgasm than have one myself. And I can be satisfied by that.

There are plenty of reasons I feel that way.

1. Gratitude. If a woman allows me to be intimate with her, I feel that I owe her this pleasure.

2. She may tell her female friends who will view me as a good lover. Some day that may benefit me.

3. It is an ego rush to know I can do this for a woman.

4. Guilt. I would feel like I was using a woman if I didn't give her an orgasm and I had one.

5. It's exciting to watch a woman climax up close.

I absolutely do care if she cums

StrongMaster7 said:

It sounds like you have had a bunch of inconsiderate sex partners.

With my hand to my heart, I would rather give my partner an orgasm than have one myself. And I can be satisfied by that.

There are plenty of reasons I feel that way.

1. Gratitude. If a woman allows me to be intimate with her, I feel that I owe her this pleasure.

2. She may tell her female friends who will view me as a good lover. Some day that may benefit me.

3. It is an ego rush to know I can do this for a woman.

4. Guilt. I would feel like I was using a woman if I didn't give her an orgasm and I had one.

5. It's exciting to watch a woman climax up close.

Click to expand...

I feel the exact same way you do! I love to see my wife orgasm when we're making love. In fact, she very often has multiple orgasms and it's so exciting for me when she reaches her climax.

I agree with every one of your points with the exception of #2...being a married couple, I'm not likely to benefit frpm her telling her friends It would be fun if there were some benefit there however

I consider it a huge fail if she does not climax. It is generally my aim to have her cum atleast once before I put my needs in the forefront.
My ego requires her to be well satisfied before I can truly enjoy myself.

I love to see my wife cum. I love to when she moans and her whole body becomes sensitive to my touch. I have told her this as well as she should always cum first. There are time when it becomes a game. Who will cum first. I can't say I awlays win that game but it is fun.

It is incredibly stimulating and fulfilling to know that I have satisfied someone else's desires and needs. Yes, I care for a variety of reasons. Some are selfish but most simply because I care about who I am with at the time.

JA068 said:

I'd be fascinated to know whether men honestly care if the woman they're having sex with cums or not. My experience, and perhaps I'm a little jaded by several partners in the last couple of weeks, is that as long as the man with whom I'm fucking climaxes it's of little concern to him whether I am satisfied or not.

I should clarify that I certainly don't expect my lover to take responsibility for my orgasm, ultimately that's up to me but I do expect him to know at least in general terms what women enjoy. A rudimentary understanding of foreplay and clitoral stimulation is not too much to expect surely?

Click to expand...

HELL, YES!!! FOR THE WOMAN TO HAVE HER CLIMAX IS OVER-THE-TOP HOT FOR ME!!! Just as how aggressively arousal-driven the man is arouses the woman, it works both ways.

Once, just sucking on my woman's breasts produced in her a climax so convulsing that her internal muscle rhythms stroked my to a climax in less that 5 seconds!

Sadly

I know what you say is true. There are many men like that. But not all by far. Although I don't carry on many discussions with other men about this, I know my feelings about this can't be Just me. Judging by the response of others on here many are like me.
I for one prefer to make the experience for my partner to be the best it can possibly be. I love giving pleasure and it is always my desire to give that to the point of total satisfaction at times at the cost of my own. I cannot tell you how many times I have pleased another to the point of exhaustion, well beyond their ability to reciprocate to me. Not always a bad thing but I too love to receive the same. Only a handful of times have I had another that felt like I do.
It appears that many women's experiences are like your own so when I connect with them they take advantage of it/me. It's okay though because I love pleasing so much. BUT, their are times I bump into one who is like me, loves to please or the experience is not complete. It is then my turn to lay back for a while and enjoy what they wish to do, I then turn myself over to them to do as they please.

It is truly sad that we have people of both sex's that are like you describe, but we do. Somewhere there is a partner that will please us as we need to be pleased and allow us to do the same in return. We may one day meet them for a connection like no other. I hope all of us like this find our connection we deserve.
At times it sure gets tough though doesn't it ?

Please don't lose faith

MilkFountain said:

HELL, YES!!! FOR THE WOMAN TO HAVE HER CLIMAX IS OVER-THE-TOP HOT FOR ME!!! Just as how aggressively arousal-driven the man is arouses the woman, it works both ways.

Once, just sucking on my woman's breasts produced in her a climax so convulsing that her internal muscle rhythms stroked my to a climax in less that 5 seconds!

Click to expand...

YES! That's what it's all about.

First time I ate a creampie, was cause I came, and she didn't!
No way I could end it like that!

Turns out it was the best move I ever made! She came like crazy!!

I can't speak for all men, but as for myself it is very important that the woman I am with has at least one orgasm. My wife and I loved for me to orally give her an orgasm after cumming inside her.

I want to join my brother lover boys on this thread who are saying they do really care. Yes, I do really care. On our honeymoon I asked my wife to promise that she would never fake, to help me learn how to give her the real thing. For me, giving my wife orgasmic bliss is at the very core of what I am as a husband, as a man. It's a symbol and a celebration of all the ways I seek to enhance her life and maintain her womanliness in full flower. It pleases me that her boss, her best girlfriends, our children - know that here is a woman with the glow of satisfaction about her. That's how deep it goes with me.

What I 'get' from this myself, in the context of our love-making:
The extreme pleasure of witnessing wonderful orgasms such as a man can never know himself.
The prowess, frankly, of taking her there by the sexpertise I have learnt and mastered.
The fabulously fuller satisfaction of my own eruption when it is into or onto a woman in the throws of or with the after-glow of her own explosion of joy.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to say this. It's such a big deal with me.

ps: please visit the first thread of those in my signature. Been dormant a while, but some great contributions there from a good number of women and men.

Make her happy

Yes, it is very important that my partner cums and I find it such a turn on when my partner cums... And hopefully more than once!

JA068 said:

I'd be fascinated to know whether men honestly care if the woman they're having sex with cums or not. My experience, and perhaps I'm a little jaded by several partners in the last couple of weeks, is that as long as the man with whom I'm fucking climaxes it's of little concern to him whether I am satisfied or not.

I should clarify that I certainly don't expect my lover to take responsibility for my orgasm, ultimately that's up to me but I do expect him to know at least in general terms what women enjoy. A rudimentary understanding of foreplay and clitoral stimulation is not too much to expect surely?

Click to expand...

Absolutely care 100%. The more the woman cums the more she is going to want to have sex. The more I can please her the more she is going to want to be pleased.

Call me selfish.

You may want to look for different partners if you have that many in the last couple weeks and you are not being satisfied.

JA068 said:

I'd be fascinated to know whether men honestly care if the woman they're having sex with cums or not. My experience, and perhaps I'm a little jaded by several partners in the last couple of weeks, is that as long as the man with whom I'm fucking climaxes it's of little concern to him whether I am satisfied or not.

I should clarify that I certainly don't expect my lover to take responsibility for my orgasm, ultimately that's up to me but I do expect him to know at least in general terms what women enjoy. A rudimentary understanding of foreplay and clitoral stimulation is not too much to expect surely?

Click to expand...

Yes I do care, I love oral sex and masturbation, so my partner cums first, either on my tongue or fingers before we fuck.

I care for sure. My partner needs to experience multiple orgasms in any way they can or wish to for me to feel like I'm doing my job as a lover. I'm even ok with just pleasing them and waiting for later to please myself.

Her orgasm(s) are way more important than mine. The problem is her orgasm can cause my orgasm. Mine might just end my interest in anything but cuddle and sleep, so using my cock too soon and asking afterwards "Was that good for you?" won't work.

Best to use a whole assortment of other means for her orgasms building to where she's ready for me to cum. Afterwards. if she wants more she might have to climb on top and use all those "other means" again. Who knows, her continued excitement might get my cock to second round potential.

"Other means" means whatever kinkiness does the trick... floats her boat.. drowns me in her desire. "Pour some sugar on me!"

It's all so much better if she's into it.

I don't obsess over it, just like I don't obsess about my own. Quickies, for us, usually involve me not coming, as there's just not enough time, and it's fun regardless.

That said, if the time is right, there is nothing I like better than her coming while I fuck her, and that span of time where I have to hold still because she's super sensitive, followed by me fucking her now total wetness hard.

In addition to the common courtesy of making sure that a lover enjoyed herself, from the first time that I had sex I have always savored the sight, sounds, scent, feel, and taste of her. Watching her cum has always been a thrill at least as exquisite as my own orgasm, and sometimes my own is even anticlimactic when she's deliciously spent and done before I am.

JA068 said:

I'm a little jaded by several partners in the last couple of weeks, is that as long as the man with whom I'm fucking climaxes it's of little concern to him whether I am satisfied or not.

Click to expand...

Not to be snarky, but it sounds like you need to be more choosy in your choice of lovers. I suspect that men who love pleasing a lover have common traits outside of the bedroom that would make good clues. A man who wants you to be happy outside of the bedroom is probably more likely to want you to be happy inside.

just4friends said:

The problem is her orgasm can cause my orgasm.

Click to expand...

This has always been a "problem" for me too. Of the few women who have graced my bed, none were "one and done". It's always been frustrating to know that they want more, and ironic that their pleasure is the foil.

pplwatching said:

This has always been a "problem" for me too. Of the few women who have graced my bed, none were "one and done". It's always been frustrating to know that they want more, and ironic that their pleasure is the foil.

Click to expand...

If you can push the PC muscle down as soon as it gets risky, and make sure not to hold your breath, it's possible to bypass it. This has worked for me when using and angle that hits her g-spot, and it gets REALLY tight then.

I care

JA068 said:

I'd be fascinated to know whether men honestly care if the woman they're having sex with cums or not. My experience, and perhaps I'm a little jaded by several partners in the last couple of weeks, is that as long as the man with whom I'm fucking climaxes it's of little concern to him whether I am satisfied or not.

I should clarify that I certainly don't expect my lover to take responsibility for my orgasm, ultimately that's up to me but I do expect him to know at least in general terms what women enjoy. A rudimentary understanding of foreplay and clitoral stimulation is not too much to expect surely?

Click to expand...

I feel that if my lover does,not cum then I'm being a,selfish lover. I always,sure she cum at least twice before I can.

Yes.... Even if she has to fake it......

Personally, watching or hearing her cum is such a thrill that I can't even imagine just me getting off and being done.

Absolutely!

When we were teens I had the benefit of quick recovery, so even if I came first I could take the time to be sure she did as well. I recall once making her come by nipple play and nothing else.

Now that we're older it takes me longer to climax, and I take full advantage of that. I always make sure she comes first, usually from oral, often with hands and toys; right after she comes I'll mount her and the feeling of my cock in her and the right clitoral stimulation pushes her to a second and often stronger orgasm. I've frequently given her three before finally allowing myself to get off.

Watching her writhe in ecstasy and moan and scream as she comes, and knowing that I pushed her there, actually makes me dizzy as a feeling of power comes over me. It's a feeling I crave, and I feel at the time that I could do anything to her. I can practically read her mind as I watch her body try to reach and hold off orgasm at the same time, finally giving in and letting the tide wash over her.

I can't imagine not caring if she comes. I'd rather I didn't come than she didn't.

Yes definitely. I believe that chivalry isn't dead. "Ladies first" applies to the bedroom as well.

It's an absolute must that the girl cum, not counting the "quickies" for me it's a turn on when I know the women is legitimately enjoying what I'm doing. It is important that she cum and it's always a personal goals that she have the most powerful orgasm as possible.