How to find other discreet Bi men?

I wonder how to figure out and find other bi men who I may be around all the time who may have same thoughts as me but just like me they dont know how to express or find out mine. There has to be a way of finding other bi discreet men! Online just seems to be only horny guys who want to chat to get off then they are gone blank. Just games and BSers!

Craigslist was so easy. Need a solution.

larrycando said:

Craigslist was so easy. Need a solution.

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This area here CL was just horny guys wanting to chat to get off then they was gone and would not reply back again till they was horny again. I had lots of replies on it but all was just BS. Got to be a better way to figure out someone in person!

bikurinpa said:

This area here CL was just horny guys wanting to chat to get off then they was gone and would not reply back again till they was horny again. I had lots of replies on it but all was just BS. Got to be a better way to figure out someone in person!

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I agree. I don't know how to do it either. I often think "I know there are men like me around here, I'm not the only one"....

I've been horny for some dick for a LONG time!

I was able to meet a guy from this site, but it has been a few years ago. Through PMs, we realized we were from the same part of the state. We chatted and texted for a while and eventually agreed to meet. It was an awesome experience, but sadly we never got together again. That is too bad.

This seems to be a problem for a lot of people. Even for just talking.

I had a couple solid CL hook ups but been some time now. I'm completely safe and need the same discreet minded....wife knows but not really into it right now so she wouldn't know lol

I have had some good luck with Silverdaddies site.

As reflected in many postings on Lit, on-line methods for meeting sex partners of any type usually result in either string-out games or very temporary encounters. So, if you have any desire for discreetness and/or safety, you would need to take measures to protect your anonymity and health, just as you would if you went to an adult book store with sex booths.

If you want to find a longer term thing, you need to actually build a more trusting relationship with someone. The main reason why men find it so difficult to actually listen and talk with other men about bi-sexuality is that men are not trained to be good communicators in many ways.

Just think about it-- many men are bi or bi curious, but they can't find each other because they are not willing or able to take the time to get to know each other and eventually talk in a meaningful way. If you have the willing part taken care of, then work on the commitment and the skills necessary to do the able part.

Silverdaddies

Silverdaddies and other similar sites have worked for me.

Only had two encounters or the kind, but lots of fun chatting or camming can be had also.

coati said:

As reflected in many postings on Lit, on-line methods for meeting sex partners of any type usually result in either string-out games or very temporary encounters. So, if you have any desire for discreetness and/or safety, you would need to take measures to protect your anonymity and health, just as you would if you went to an adult book store with sex booths.

If you want to find a longer term thing, you need to actually build a more trusting relationship with someone. The main reason why men find it so difficult to actually listen and talk with other men about bi-sexuality is that men are not trained to be good communicators in many ways.

Just think about it-- many men are bi or bi curious, but they can't find each other because they are not willing or able to take the time to get to know each other and eventually talk in a meaningful way. If you have the willing part taken care of, then work on the commitment and the skills necessary to do the able part.

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Very insightful post. I would much rather have a regular play partner that I trust to be discrete and disease-free instead of a random encounter. I've never had a bisexual experience, but I am aching to have my first.

I’ve never had trouble finding Bi guys being an open Transvestite. My problem has always been sorting through all the potential guys, looking for the right one to hookup with. Online, that’s pretty hard. In the real world, guys approached me if they were interest( still do, too) I can’t blame them, I’d make a pass at me, if I was curiousKant

Whispor said:

Very insightful post. I would much rather have a regular play partner that I trust to be discrete and disease-free instead of a random encounter. I've never had a bisexual experience, but I am aching to have my first.

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With both women and men, the sex is much better and the orgasms more memorable if you actually feel a strong connection with the partner. I remember Kantarii basically saying the same thing.

coati said:

With both women and men, the sex is much better and the orgasms more memorable if you actually feel a strong connection with the partner. I remember Kantarii basically saying the same thing.

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Yup, sounds like something I would say. I’ve never found random sex as fulfilling as I have with someone I had a connection with. Sure random sex is exciting, but it also comes/cums with the highest risks. Kant

Kantarii said:

I’ve never had trouble finding Bi guys being an open Transvestite. My problem has always been sorting through all the potential guys, looking for the right one to hookup with. Online, that’s pretty hard. In the real world, guys approached me if they were interest( still do, too) I can’t blame them, I’d make a pass at me, if I was curiousKant

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You are beautiful Kant

bikurinpa said:

I wonder how to figure out and find other bi men who I may be around all the time who may have same thoughts as me but just like me they dont know how to express or find out mine. There has to be a way of finding other bi discreet men! Online just seems to be only horny guys who want to chat to get off then they are gone blank. Just games and BSers!

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I agree when you find out let me know

Kantarii said:

Yup, sounds like something I would say. I’ve never found random sex as fulfilling as I have with someone I had a connection with. Sure random sex is exciting, but it also comes/cums with the highest risks. Kant

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Yeah, and I have had a couple of random sex experiences where the partner was acting more mechanical than human, despite my best efforts to nudge things up to a more engaging level.

Almost all my other experiences, random and otherwise, have been with more sensitive and considerate people. Those are a lot more satisfying for everyone involved.

This really requires a movement to coordinate a very discrete signal among the community but something that isn't obviously out of place

Hotwives have an anklet... Don't swingers have a tattoo or something? Maybe not as discrete. But bi men could use a ring of some type, or maybe a casual fabric bracelet. This way it's not a horny online thing but a real life signal that facilitates in person connections in more casual settings, and you can turn it on or off as needed.

But the question is how do you start that and spread the word?

cjcurious said:

This really requires a movement to coordinate a very discrete signal among the community but something that isn't obviously out of place

Hotwives have an anklet... Don't swingers have a tattoo or something? Maybe not as discrete. But bi men could use a ring of some type, or maybe a casual fabric bracelet. This way it's not a horny online thing but a real life signal that facilitates in person connections in more casual settings, and you can turn it on or off as needed.

But the question is how do you start that and spread the word?

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That's a great idea!

coati said:

With both women and men, the sex is much better and the orgasms more memorable if you actually feel a strong connection with the partner. I remember Kantarii basically saying the same thing.

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I haven't been much on sex with strangers for a long long time. Let's get to know each other better and see what happens from there.

I suggested on another thread that we adopt the Panda as a mascot because we like P and D.

cjcurious said:

This really requires a movement to coordinate a very discrete signal among the community but something that isn't obviously out of place

Hotwives have an anklet... Don't swingers have a tattoo or something? Maybe not as discrete. But bi men could use a ring of some type, or maybe a casual fabric bracelet. This way it's not a horny online thing but a real life signal that facilitates in person connections in more casual settings, and you can turn it on or off as needed.

But the question is how do you start that and spread the word?

Click to expand...

cjcurious said:

This really requires a movement to coordinate a very discrete signal among the community but something that isn't obviously out of place

Hotwives have an anklet... Don't swingers have a tattoo or something? Maybe not as discrete. But bi men could use a ring of some type, or maybe a casual fabric bracelet. This way it's not a horny online thing but a real life signal that facilitates in person connections in more casual settings, and you can turn it on or off as needed.

But the question is how do you start that and spread the word?

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Bi men, and especially bi curious men, would probably not want to wear a physically identifying sign that becomes widely known. A lot of them are already in long term committed relationships that involve more than sex. A lot of them are concerned about impacts on their professional lives.

But here is what bi and bi curious men generally do that helps to identify them. They generally show interest in other men in some way, ranging all the way from very subtle check-you-outs to touchy-feely stuff. In order to be an effective receiver of this wide range of signals, you have to be relaxed and practiced in the art of communication.

If a guy opens the door a tiny bit very cautiously, you need to proceed with equal caution in slow increments. This can take a long time, but it can be well worth the trust-building wait.

On the other end of the spectrum, if a guy you find attractive swings the door wide open, you need to be prepared to walk right in, after agreeing upon the important health and safety boundaries you have determined ahead of time.

Bi curious men! Don't be xenophobic around friendly men when you encounter them. Pay attention to other men and listen to them! Relax and have fun with them, even if it does not lead to sex!

As a disclaimer, if you are married and inwardly believe that all sexual contact outside of marriage is sinful, don't get involved in any of this. Just jack off to your fantasies, assuming that does not cause excessive feeling of guilt.

Very interesting topic. I find myself in the area of desperately wanting to chat with someone when I’m horny as hell. Then once satisfied, I move on, nothing until the horniness returns. Have had amazing orgasms in my fantasy world. Wonder what it would be like in a real world situation? I actually have a guy I’ve been emailing for awhile now but we’ve never met. He’s willing. I’m just not sure about if I want the real thing. Fantasy world is great but obviously not real. I think I don’t consider myself bi but I do have such wild desires at times. I’m also in a long term no sex marriage, lonely but not sure I can just move on with kids and grandkids etc.
Oh well, very interesting to think about and discuss. Anybody else in the NC triangle area?

Ralncnewby said:

Very interesting topic. I find myself in the area of desperately wanting to chat with someone when I’m horny as hell. Then once satisfied, I move on, nothing until the horniness returns. Have had amazing orgasms in my fantasy world. Wonder what it would be like in a real world situation? I actually have a guy I’ve been emailing for awhile now but we’ve never met. He’s willing. I’m just not sure about if I want the real thing. Fantasy world is great but obviously not real. I think I don’t consider myself bi but I do have such wild desires at times. I’m also in a long term no sex marriage, lonely but not sure I can just move on with kids and grandkids etc.
Oh well, very interesting to think about and discuss. Anybody else in the NC triangle area?

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Well said. Exactly my situation and I expect there are more than two of us