Interview with a Dom or Sub Inquiry

Interview with a deaf Dom or Sub Inquiry

I’m studying to be an ASL interpreter and I am required to interview a deaf person. I don’t want to do a mundane run of the mill interview. I want to interview someone practicing a lifestyle I myself is interested in. Its a side of a deaf person we wouldn’t suspect they have. Even in the hearing world we would’t suspect a certain person would be into BDSM (like me) let alone a deaf person. I want to learn how a deaf person navigates through three worlds. The hearing world, the deaf world and the BDSM world. I greatly appreciate the your willingness and time to answer my questions.

No need to do all these deceptive gymnastics.

BDSM personals are here.

I feel it's odd to check if a deaf person is into bdsm. As a teacher sexual things should always be off limits.

Go to a club or munch or porn board if you want to explore that side of you.

Not sure why the hostile responses here. Deaf people have just as much interest in sex as anybody else; a translator who balks at adult concepts is going to be a crappy translator. And communication is important in BDSM so it seems like an interesting project to look at how that works with a different mode of communication.

OP: I don't know anybody myself, but I'll ask around.

Bramblethorn said:

Not sure why the hostile responses here. Deaf people have just as much interest in sex as anybody else; a translator who balks at adult concepts is going to be a crappy translator. And communication is important in BDSM so it seems like an interesting project to look at how that works with a different mode of communication.

OP: I don't know anybody myself, but I'll ask around.

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I'd be interested in the results of such an inquiry -

(even though I think the results would be quite bland, I imagine deaf people navigate relationships the same as they do everything else, but obviously I'm not an expert),

-but I find it more likely that this is somebody trying to deceive and lure in a deaf person to satisfy a sexual fetish. E.g the talk of 'worlds' sounds like an attempt to romanticize the disability.

Consilience said:

I'd be interested in the results of such an inquiry -

(even though I think the results would be quite bland, I imagine deaf people navigate relationships the same as they do everything else, but obviously I'm not an expert),

-but I find it more likely that this is somebody trying to deceive and lure in a deaf person to satisfy a sexual fetish. E.g the talk of 'worlds' sounds like an attempt to romanticize the disability.

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Deaf people do not consider themselves disabled btw.
And sign language is a distinct language unto itself. Layer that with the intersection of the unique aspects of the deaf community (for whom I cannot speak) with kink or BDSM and you could have a lot of complexity.

I am also unsure whether the OP is fishing or not... I'm half inclined to give the benefit of the doubt.

As someone who is definitely qualified to answer an interview such as this...meh. I'd want more information from OP before considering it. OP, feel free to PM me.

cascadiabound said:

Deaf people do not consider themselves disabled btw.

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deaf community (for whom I cannot speak)

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Primalex said:

   

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Forgive me. I have spent enough time in close contact with deaf community members to be aware that generally deaf people do not consider themselves disabled.
However, not being deaf myself, I did not want to represent myself as a member of the community.

Anyone who is deaf is welcome to call me out. Otw. Nevermind.

cascadiabound said:

Forgive me. I have spent enough time in close contact with deaf community members to be aware that generally deaf people do not consider themselves disabled.

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Whatever this is supposed to mean. Do they generally decline disability benefits like tax deductions?

Consilience said:

I'd be interested in the results of such an inquiry -

(even though I think the results would be quite bland, I imagine deaf people navigate relationships the same as they do everything else, but obviously I'm not an expert),

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One-on-one relationships with other deaf folk, perhaps. But BDSM culture also involves stuff like public play spaces, seminars, and munches. If a deaf person wants to engage in those spaces ("hey, let's go to a rigging workshop so I can learn how to do suspension bondage!") then communication's likely to be an issue.

FWIW, I ran the OP past a friend who's an experienced ASL interpreter. Their response:

Bramble's friend said:

If they're going to be using it for a class project I'd guess that there are no limits on that. Personally I'm of 2 minds. It is a complex issue that doesn't get touched on and often prevents D/deaf folks from participating in those kinds of venues. the language barrier is high people's knowledge and patience are low. On the other hand that's some really personal boundaries to be crossing for a class project. Assuming identity would be kept private (can you do that and know the professsor will trust you didn't make shit up?) I'd feel less awkward.

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Consilience said:

-but I find it more likely that this is somebody trying to deceive and lure in a deaf person to satisfy a sexual fetish. E.g the talk of 'worlds' sounds like an attempt to romanticize the disability.

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I think you're over-interpreting that. "The X world" is often used just to refer to a particular culture - there are several threads just on this forum referring to "the BDSM world", "the submissive world", "the vanilla world", etc. etc.

There are cultures associated with deafness and sign languages, same as you'd expect e.g. for Chinese-speaking people in a majority-English country. I presume OP was referencing that.

(BTW, this is why my friend refers to "D/deaf": capitalised Deaf refers to the culture.)

cascadiabound said:

Deaf people do not consider themselves disabled btw.
And sign language is a distinct language unto itself.

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In fact, many different languages. ASL is quite different to Auslan, etc. etc.

Re. deafness as disability: different deaf people have different views about this. Some take the position that it's not a disability, because a deaf person who signs can get by very well in a community of deaf folk. (If somebody who didn't know sign language wound up in a Deaf community, they would have a lot of difficulty, but we wouldn't consider them disabled.) Others do consider deafness to be a disability.

(I'm not going to debate which of those viewpoints is right; just noting that both positions exist.)

BTW, OP, there are multiple Deaf groups on Fetlife. Far better chance of getting someone there. I think I'm the only active person here who could answer, but lots more there.

WOW. I didn't expect I would get such negative response to my inquiry. First off, I don't have a deaf fetish. Second, I'm making this inquiry because I want to know how a deaf person communicates during BDSM. And the fact that I got such negative responses shows just how much ignorance there is. Im more interested in the communication aspect. Deaf people communicate with hands and facial expression. I want to know how that changes when engaging in BDSM? Anything else to ease your mistrust?

KindyC2 said:

And the fact that I got such negative responses shows just how much ignorance there is.

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You got a 'negative response' from me because you're the 3rd person I've seen in the past year who's come along asking for help with "research" and given no reason as to why anybody should believe that you're genuine and not an internet creep with a sexual agenda. I put the onus on you to demonstrate that simply due to the fact that those internet creeps are more common than actual student researchers.

Bramblethorn even made a decent thread for people like you purport to be.

With your current standard of clinical efficacy I really don't think you have any authority to lecture anybody on ignorance.

Consilience said:

Bramblethorn even made a decent thread for people like you purport to be.

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For what it's worth - if the OP had claimed to be a psych student or something along those lines, I would've written them off as obviously fake. Any respectable university has human subjects research protocols, and anybody doing that kind of degree would be expected to know those protocols before attempting to interview strangers on the internet.

But I wouldn't assume that an ASL interpreting course includes that stuff as mandatory training, so the OP's not following it doesn't trigger the same "obviously fake" response.

That said, I do think it would be a very good idea for OP to swot up on HSR protocols re. interviews on sensitive subjects before going any further, and I've sent some suggestions via DM.