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What makes sissies tick?

klippert said:
So far I haven't actually seen an answer....from your thread...I noticed you prefer communications from other women...."sorry men, I have one of you in my life", Since he's going Sissy....is he still the man in your house... honest question. :rose:

Long time lurker, now have courage to post.
Want to explore desires I can't in real life.
Sisters feel free to PM me.
(Sorry men, I have one of you in my life already)
Click to expand...

I understand the question. He's my husband and life partner. I'm not looking for another man to replace him. I don't feel like I'm losing the man in my life. Maybe if it gets to the point that we can't have man and wife sex any more things would change but not now.
 
ToddPA76 said:
I have no idea what makes sissies tick.
I know what makes them squeal and moan.
Does that count?
Click to expand...

Actually, I would also be interested in knowing these things. I've agreed to let him wear what he likes of my underwear and clothes and wear it during sex as well. Maybe if I knew what sissies crave, I'd know what I could do to please him and what might be a problem for me. Let me know what sissies want...
 
stickygirl said:
Hi. I'm not a sissy, though I wondered for a time if I were before coming out as a trans woman, so maybe I can throw some light on it?
Click to expand...

Thank you, uh, Sticky Girl. :) I hear what you're saying. Most important is that we trust each other and it was important for me to dispel his fears that I was going to leave him because he wants to wear my panties. He's got many years of fears layered in him so he may never feel safe and he's still telling me new details as we go along so I have my own fears for where he'll end up.

:kiss::rose:
 
This sissy

Cannot speak for others.
Being a sissy feels natural, as this is what it should be, like an inner peace. Trying a new outfit causes a giddy feeling inside.

As this may not be true for all, but your husband may not know where it is going either, may be he is exploring to find that feeling also.

The term sissy has changed so much over the years and now it normally means sexual more than physical.

Any relationship is a party of 2 and communication is important, it is with this communication that the fear can be depleted. Your fear may not go away because as stated he may not know or understand where this is taking him so he cannot give an and.

If you :heart: him then try to stick it out and relate to him your fears as the journey continues. :rose:
 
i think it's a very exciting fantasy, both in opening your sexuality, and trying something new. the submissive element i imagine must feel so exciting. you're both losing control and handing it to someone else. i'm certainly curious...
 
This is just my $.02, so please feel free to take it with a grain of heavy salt, but I think what makes sissies tick is that we are a product of a culture of toxic masculinity.

What do I mean by that?

Women (genetic ones), are free to express their gender with a bit more fluidity than men. Skirts and heels one day, jeans and Pink Floyd shirt the next. Men, not nearly as much. We live in a world where the colors we have to choose from are drab. One option for pants (being pants), and a serious societal disdain for expressing any femininity at all. So as young boys, we are told to not play with dolls, don't play house, don't try and wear your mom's heels. We learn that dressing (and by proxy), being a woman is shameful.

Then, many of us just bury it, maybe getting married and entering into relationships with women. Then we begin to experiment. What would a pair of panties feel like? How comfortable is a skirt? Can I walk in high heels? We begin to experiment with dressing in private, and the feeling is euphoric. It's like a whole other side of ourselves has been woken up, and it's very liberating.

But then the feelings of shamefulness come. We're disgusting. Men don't do that. I must be a faggot. What would my father say? This destructive self talk often prevents more healthy exploration of our feminine side, and I would suspect many men become agitated and aggravated during this process.

Yet we continue to dress, and explore even more. We start to dress with more frequency. We don't purge. We begin to amass a collection of bras, panties, shirts, skirts, and shoes. We learn to accessorize. Then the need to dress in public becomes strong, overwhelming. So we take baby steps. Maybe shorts that are a little shorter than what guys wear. Clothing with a little dash of pink and purple somewhere.

Feelings that maybe we too, being born male, could use our femininity and womanly ways to charm a man begin to emerge. What would it be like to have sex with a real man instead of my dildo? Could I go down on him all night like I could my rubber cock? Feelings of jealousy begin to emerge as well. Seeing a woman with a guy tends to then bring feelings of "I could be a better wife/girlfriend than she is!"

Long story short, it's a never-ending struggle, being a sissy, transgender, non-binary, or any other term you wish to use. (Personally, I think labels are for soup cans, but whatever). Euphoric highs of fantasy with crushing lows of depression and reality. It's a struggle as much as it is a journey.

For me, what makes me tick is that I just intrinsically know that I have the heart and soul of a woman. Unfortunately, my body is incongruent with that, and I work and struggle to reconcile the two, everyday. I want what every other woman wants. A life of happiness. Sharing it with a man who loves me for my heart and soul. I want to be a wife, and a mother, raise a family with a man who will stand by my side as I live the life I want to live.

That's what makes this sissy tick.

As always, I wish all of you nothing but love and happiness,

Stacy
 
Stacy_TG said:
This is just my $.02, so please feel free to take it with a grain of heavy salt, but I think what makes sissies tick is that we are a product of a culture of toxic masculinity.

What do I mean by that?

Women (genetic ones), are free to express their gender with a bit more fluidity than men. Skirts and heels one day, jeans and Pink Floyd shirt the next. Men, not nearly as much. We live in a world where the colors we have to choose from are drab. One option for pants (being pants), and a serious societal disdain for expressing any femininity at all. So as young boys, we are told to not play with dolls, don't play house, don't try and wear your mom's heels. We learn that dressing (and by proxy), being a woman is shameful.

Then, many of us just bury it, maybe getting married and entering into relationships with women. Then we begin to experiment. What would a pair of panties feel like? How comfortable is a skirt? Can I walk in high heels? We begin to experiment with dressing in private, and the feeling is euphoric. It's like a whole other side of ourselves has been woken up, and it's very liberating.

But then the feelings of shamefulness come. We're disgusting. Men don't do that. I must be a faggot. What would my father say? This destructive self talk often prevents more healthy exploration of our feminine side, and I would suspect many men become agitated and aggravated during this process.

Yet we continue to dress, and explore even more. We start to dress with more frequency. We don't purge. We begin to amass a collection of bras, panties, shirts, skirts, and shoes. We learn to accessorize. Then the need to dress in public becomes strong, overwhelming. So we take baby steps. Maybe shorts that are a little shorter than what guys wear. Clothing with a little dash of pink and purple somewhere.

Feelings that maybe we too, being born male, could use our femininity and womanly ways to charm a man begin to emerge. What would it be like to have sex with a real man instead of my dildo? Could I go down on him all night like I could my rubber cock? Feelings of jealousy begin to emerge as well. Seeing a woman with a guy tends to then bring feelings of "I could be a better wife/girlfriend than she is!"

Long story short, it's a never-ending struggle, being a sissy, transgender, non-binary, or any other term you wish to use. (Personally, I think labels are for soup cans, but whatever). Euphoric highs of fantasy with crushing lows of depression and reality. It's a struggle as much as it is a journey.

For me, what makes me tick is that I just intrinsically know that I have the heart and soul of a woman. Unfortunately, my body is incongruent with that, and I work and struggle to reconcile the two, everyday. I want what every other woman wants. A life of happiness. Sharing it with a man who loves me for my heart and soul. I want to be a wife, and a mother, raise a family with a man who will stand by my side as I live the life I want to live.

That's what makes this sissy tick.

As always, I wish all of you nothing but love and happiness,

Stacy
Click to expand...

Wonderfully thoughtful, Stacy. I agree with you about toxic masculinity, and the culture that prevents people from simply being who they are with both pleasure and dignity. Keep fighting the good fight.
 
Stacy_TG said:
This is just my $.02, so please feel free to take it with a grain of heavy salt, but I think what makes sissies tick is that we are a product of a culture of toxic masculinity.

What do I mean by that?

Women (genetic ones), are free to express their gender with a bit more fluidity than men. Skirts and heels one day, jeans and Pink Floyd shirt the next. Men, not nearly as much. We live in a world where the colors we have to choose from are drab. One option for pants (being pants), and a serious societal disdain for expressing any femininity at all. So as young boys, we are told to not play with dolls, don't play house, don't try and wear your mom's heels. We learn that dressing (and by proxy), being a woman is shameful.

Then, many of us just bury it, maybe getting married and entering into relationships with women. Then we begin to experiment. What would a pair of panties feel like? How comfortable is a skirt? Can I walk in high heels? We begin to experiment with dressing in private, and the feeling is euphoric. It's like a whole other side of ourselves has been woken up, and it's very liberating.

But then the feelings of shamefulness come. We're disgusting. Men don't do that. I must be a faggot. What would my father say? This destructive self talk often prevents more healthy exploration of our feminine side, and I would suspect many men become agitated and aggravated during this process.

Yet we continue to dress, and explore even more. We start to dress with more frequency. We don't purge. We begin to amass a collection of bras, panties, shirts, skirts, and shoes. We learn to accessorize. Then the need to dress in public becomes strong, overwhelming. So we take baby steps. Maybe shorts that are a little shorter than what guys wear. Clothing with a little dash of pink and purple somewhere.

Feelings that maybe we too, being born male, could use our femininity and womanly ways to charm a man begin to emerge. What would it be like to have sex with a real man instead of my dildo? Could I go down on him all night like I could my rubber cock? Feelings of jealousy begin to emerge as well. Seeing a woman with a guy tends to then bring feelings of "I could be a better wife/girlfriend than she is!"

Long story short, it's a never-ending struggle, being a sissy, transgender, non-binary, or any other term you wish to use. (Personally, I think labels are for soup cans, but whatever). Euphoric highs of fantasy with crushing lows of depression and reality. It's a struggle as much as it is a journey.

For me, what makes me tick is that I just intrinsically know that I have the heart and soul of a woman. Unfortunately, my body is incongruent with that, and I work and struggle to reconcile the two, everyday. I want what every other woman wants. A life of happiness. Sharing it with a man who loves me for my heart and soul. I want to be a wife, and a mother, raise a family with a man who will stand by my side as I live the life I want to live.

That's what makes this sissy tick.

As always, I wish all of you nothing but love and happiness,

Stacy
Click to expand...

Wow a very informative and touching post. Thanks for sharing
 
SweetAnnie40 said:
But he found me and we've been happily married for 22 years. Am I not enough for him?
Click to expand...

Your worth as a woman or a wife is not part of this. In fact NONE of this is about you, you have to know and belive that first.

Second I don’t think anyone here can really know what he is looking to gain from this behavior. It may be that he want to spice up your collective sex life and this is one way, role reversal can be fun for many. Also you didn’t note his age but is he in his early to mid 40’s?
 
SweetAnnie40 said:
My husband confessed to me a few months ago that he wanted to wear my lingerie. Since then, he's talked about wearing more of my underwear and clothes. He shaved his body and is talking about waxing his privates. A week ago he started asking about using a dildo on him during sex.

So, sissies and the wives/girlfriends who love them, what is going on with him? What does this mean? How far will it go? He says he's not gay but is he?

I understand that everyone is different so my questions are a bit over the top, but I truly want to understand how others have gone through handling a hubby who is 'suddenly sissy'.

Thank you!!
Click to expand...

Everybody is different, so I can only say for myself. I think that I am a sissy myself. I love wearing girls' sexy (and slutty) lingerie, love getting my nails painted, using lipstick. Love fantasizing about sucking a man or even taking it up my butt (although I prefer to think about that in much naughtier terms).

Why
That's a difficult question, why do you like this and dislike that.
As for me it is submissiveness (while not being submissive in everyday life), kinkyness (which does excite me greatly), humiliation and on top of that - yet another way to give myself to the woman I love.
To be her fucktoy, her slut. Acknowledging that all will go as she wishes.


Is it gay?
I think it's at least bisexual. Although I have no experience with men, I still think it's bi. Maybe not from the start on, but I'm sure wishes of changing a dildo with a live penis will arise. Craving to get fucked with a strap-on doesn't change the fact that it's about willing to get fucked. The most interesting thing is that it might happen with no sympathy or wishes towards men at all, just their cocks.


What makes a sissy tick
As I've said for me it's being dominated, being humiliated, the sweet shame of doing something taboo. And it's always the fight between the wish to be discovered and the fear of it, thus wearing lingerie under everyday clothes while outside or at home near the open windows is a definite turn-on. What else? Don't know how it was for you, but if you'd been a young girl excited of you own sexiness, excited of knowing that guys want you, and longing to give it to them - then just remind yourself how did it feel. I bet that's how your husband feels.


How to handle that
There is one point I'd like to stress the most. He didn't just want to have someone to fuck him. He wants to be a sissy and he went with that to you. As for me, although I fantasy about men, I do want that with my wife being there, directing me, deciding what I should do.
I can't say if you like his wishes or no, or if you'd enjoy giving him what he wants, just keep in mind, it's you with whom he wants to experience those wishes.
 
SissySalina said:
Cannot speak for others.
Being a sissy feels natural, as this is what it should be, like an inner peace. Trying a new outfit causes a giddy feeling inside.

As this may not be true for all, but your husband may not know where it is going either, may be he is exploring to find that feeling also.
Click to expand...

He has described wearing my underwear as very exciting for him (which is clear to see) but also peaceful, that he isn't fighting it. Tonight he talked about wearing lingerie all the time. We talked about crossdressers and he still feels like it is sexual fetish and not a desire to change genders. We'll see.

We definitely need to go shopping for him, my panty drawer is not bottomless! (The thought of shopping has him even more thrilled and inspired a pretty amazing oral session from him. There are upsides. :) )
 
Thank you, Stacy. Well reasoned.

One thought on labels, I think they are there to describe limits. My husband begs to wear my panties but swears he isn't gay and doesn't want a sex change. So if he is a sissy but he isn't transgendered, that helps him admit to himself what his real desires are and what they are not.

Interesting thoughts about suppression of desires for femininity, especially that wearing feminine things can trigger a euphoric reaction. That is what my husband describes and says its been the same way since he first slipped on his sister's panties as a kid.

Kisses
 
Joe_Bob_Gautama said:
Wonderfully thoughtful, Stacy. I agree with you about toxic masculinity, and the culture that prevents people from simply being who they are with both pleasure and dignity. Keep fighting the good fight.
Click to expand...

My husband talks about how the taboo nature of a guy wanting to be feminine is likely part of what makes it so powerfully erotic for him.
 
stickygirl said:
Your clearly love each other so talk, talk, talk. Maybe a gender counselor would be useful to give him a chance to work through those feelings in a neutral setting? If he has many years of bottling up these feelings, just working them through with a counselor can be really helpful.
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Thanks, I've suggested this and he's not been interested in a counselor. I'll keep it as an option on the table for him as I think he'd benefit.
 
Salbertson said:
Your worth as a woman or a wife is not part of this. In fact NONE of this is about you, you have to know and belive that first.

Second I don’t think anyone here can really know what he is looking to gain from this behavior. It may be that he want to spice up your collective sex life and this is one way, role reversal can be fun for many. Also you didn’t note his age but is he in his early to mid 40’s?
Click to expand...

Thanks. He's 44. I agree that this isn't about me. I can see that he has his own private narrative in his head. Sometimes he shares with me and I've played along. Other times I'm not in the mood and just want the loving connection you get when you focus everything on your lover.
 
Thanks, Lucia.

Lucia_slt said:
That's a difficult question, why do you like this and dislike that. As for me it is submissiveness (while not being submissive in everyday life), kinkyness (which does excite me greatly), humiliation and on top of that - yet another way to give myself to the woman I love.
To be her fucktoy, her slut. Acknowledging that all will go as she wishes.
Click to expand...

Yea, I don't think asking me to buy into his fantasy is really giving himself to me. I'm doing things I otherwise wouldn't because I love him and want to see him happy. He isn't doing it for me.

There is one point I'd like to stress the most. He didn't just want to have someone to fuck him. He wants to be a sissy and he went with that to you. As for me, although I fantasy about men, I do want that with my wife being there, directing me, deciding what I should do.
I can't say if you like his wishes or no, or if you'd enjoy giving him what he wants, just keep in mind, it's you with whom he wants to experience those wishes.
Click to expand...

Thanks, I hear your point. As far as I know, I've been the one he's shared this with and the only one he has ever experienced panty play with so that shows love and trust.
 
To repeat the above point, there's about nothing more difficult for a sissy to say that to tell his wife what he'd like to do in bed.

He felt embarrassed, a bit of shame, and worried about what you were going to say and feel. But he still opened up, so keep that in mind.

Hopefully you enjoy some of his fantasies, if not then go along with some of them, like all married people do for things their spouse like. If it goes a bit too far, just tell him, and he'll tame things down I'm sure.

It's very nice that you're willing to help him with his hidden fantasies, and I hope both of you have a great time.

And don't worry, he's not going to run away and marry a man. If he was, he would not have risked so much to talk to you about it.
 
It's difficult to explain; I'm not gay, not attracted to men at all. I couldn't kiss one or get hard and fuck a man's bottom.

But I do enjoy being a submissive sissy slut, I go weak at the sight of a huge, erect, spunking cock, and love wearing lingerie, heels and make-up.

It's the whole female glamour thing that does it for me, dressing like a girl and doing what a girl does.
 
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