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Hello. Hi. This is my first time here. Can someone tell me how to submit a story?

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SusanJillParker

SusanJillParker

I'm 100% woman
Joined
Oct 29, 2011
Posts
2,155
"Hello. Hi.

I saw the light on and the door open and I thought I'd come inside.

My first time here. I've never been here before in the, um, Author's Hangout," said Susan looking at the sign over the door. "Can someone help me?

I have one or two...thousand stories to post, can someone tell me how to submit a story?"

"What will you have?"

The bartender gave her an impatient look.

"I'll have a tall glass of cold milk," said Susan.

Showing a lot of white teeth, Susan smiled her best smile.

"Milk?"

The bartender looked at her as if she was trouble.

"Coffee then. Black with no sugar. French roast if you have it."

The bartender rolled her eyes and sighed.

"We have beer or hard liquor. What will it be lady?"

"Oh, dear. Then, give me a double shot of 151 proof rum and leave the bottle."

"You got it."

I don't know why but I have a feeling that it's going to be another long night.
 
Yes, please apply to my inbox, I promise to give you instructions with out any messing about.
 
elfin_odalisque said:
Eric, don't be fooled. 'She' is a 'he' called BOSTON FICTION WRITER who posted trillions of crappy stories, made a nuisance of himself and has now reincarnated himself as SJP.

The guy has posted trillions of second-rate stories and this post should be handled with asbestos gloves.
Click to expand...

Thank you, Elfin. I like your hair. Green hair suits you. It makes you look more like the dwarf, sorry, the little person that you are.

Actually, I don't think my stories are that crappy. Admittedly, the more than 500 stories that I've written as SusanJillParker are pretty good. I thought the 600 stories that I wrote as BostonFictionWriter were good too. I deleted 250 of those stories because they were routinely stolen and posted a e-Books, quite the compliment, don't you think? Then there were the couple hundred stories written as AndTheEnd, CarBuffStuff, PositiveThinker, SuperHeroRalph, and WmForrester.

By the way Elfin. How many green E's do you have? I have one under my BostonFicitonWriter page. I would have hand three but I deleted two of them to post as e-Books.

Do you have any stories in the most read stories, Elfin? My story, I Love You, Mommy is at #60 on the all-time most read list with more than 2 million hits. That story was the most read story in all of 2010. How about that Elfin for a crappy story? I looked but I didn't see any of your stories on the all-time most read list. Do you have any stories on the all-time most read list, Elfin?

I would have had two stories in the top ten all-time most read list under my BostonFictionWriter name but I deleted them to post as e-Books.

By the way Elfin, I know your eyesight is not very good with you being an elf and me being tall but I am a woman and not a man.

Yet, then again, now that I think about it, who are you to critique me? If memory serves me right, the last time you posted a story here was, hmm, let's see, Bush was President. I know, 2006.

Perhaps you'd like to add to my mother and son incest story posted on the board to show all of us crappy writers of how a great story teller like yourself writes a riveting story. I'd like to learn from you how to write a real story, Elfin. Can you help me to be a better writer? Please?
 
Last edited:
SusanJillParker said:
Thank you, Elfin. I like your hair. Green hair suits you. It makes you look more like the dwarf, sorry, the little person that you are.

Actually, I don't think my stories are that crappy. Admittedly, the more than 500 stories that I've written as SusanJillParker are pretty good. I thought the 600 stories that I wrote as BostonFictionWriter were good too. I deleted 250 of those stories because they were routinely stolen and posted a e-Books, quite the compliment, don't you think? Then there were the couple hundred stories written as AndTheEnd, CarBuffStuff, PositiveThinker, SuperHeroRalph, and WmForrester.

By the way Elfin. How many green E's do you have? I have one under my BostonFicitonWriter page. I would have hand three but I deleted two of them to post as e-Books.

Do you have any stories in the most read stories, Elfin? My story, I Love You, Mommy is at #60 on the all-time most read list with more than 2 million hits. That story was the most read story in all of 2010. How about that Elfin for a crappy story? I looked but I didn't see any of your stories on the all-time most read list. Do you have any stories on the all-time most read list, Elfin?

I would have had two stories in the top ten all-time most read list under my BostonFictionWriter name but I deleted them to post as e-Books.

By the way Elfin, I know your eyesight is not very good with you being an elf and me being tall but I am a woman and not a man.

Yet, then again, now that I think about it, who are you to critique me? If memory serves me right, the last time you posted a story here was, hmm, let's see, Bush was President. I know, 2006.

Perhaps you'd like to add to my mother and son incest story posted on the board to show all of us crappy writers of story how a great story teller like yourself writes a riveting story. I'd like to learn from you how to write a real story, Elfin. Can you help me to be a better writer? Please?
Click to expand...


NARCISSUS has a rival! Imagining (but not wishing to view) your Facebook and Twitter feeds.
 
MichaelinChina said:
NARCISSUS has a rival! Imagining (but not wishing to view) your Facebook and Twitter feeds.
Click to expand...

Facebook? I no longer have a Facebook page after some whacko hacked it back in 2008 and posted personal, private things about me on Literotica. Imagine that? Was that you who hacked my Facebook page? Is that why you're broadcasting that now? It doesn't matter, water under tha bridge.

Thank you for being such a fan to continue to post to my thread. You're a good fan.

PM me your address and I'll send you an autographed photo of me along with a fruitcake.
 
oggbashan said:
Or you could ask someone with a long list of submissions e.g. SusanJillParker :D
Click to expand...

Thank you for your help Ogg. By the way, it, um, may be time you changed that robe and hat. People are starting to talk.

Do you have something else that's as kingly to wear?
 
SusanJillParker said:
Facebook? I no longer have a Facebook page after some whacko hacked it back in 2008 and posted personal, private things about me on Literotica. Imagine that? Was that you who hacked my Facebook page? Is that why you're broadcasting that now? It doesn't matter, water under tha bridge.

Thank you for being such a fan to continue to post to my thread. You're a good fan.

PM me your address and I'll send you an autographed photo of me along with a fruitcake.
Click to expand...

Delusional too!

MiC@homail.commie
 
SusanJillParker said:
Thank you for your help Ogg. By the way, it, um, may be time you changed that robe and hat. People are starting to talk.

Do you have something else that's as kingly to wear?
Click to expand...

The Royal Seamstresses make an identical outfit for me every day. The Royal Laundresses wash my underwear daily.

Failure to meet my exacting requrements can be fatal. The Royal Headsman, that incompetent idiot, is always ready with his axe. I just wish he would sharpen it sometimes, but no one else will do his task.
 
oggbashan said:
The Royal Seamstresses make an identical outfit for me every day. The Royal Laundresses wash my underwear daily.

Failure to meet my exacting requrements can be fatal. The Royal Headsman, that incompetent idiot, is always ready with his axe. I just wish he would sharpen it sometimes, but no one else will do his task.
Click to expand...

Lovely ogg and please ignore the (one person's) request for a costume change.

Wondering how Mr Parker (the tiger in Life of Pi too) will respond.
 
oggbashan said:
The Royal Seamstresses make an identical outfit for me every day. The Royal Laundresses wash my underwear daily.

Failure to meet my exacting requrements can be fatal. The Royal Headsman, that incompetent idiot, is always ready with his axe. I just wish he would sharpen it sometimes, but no one else will do his task.
Click to expand...

Wow! Holy shit! I had no idea...Your Royal Majesty.

Give my regards to the Queen...and Elton too."
 
Funny!

SusanJillParker said:
"Hello. Hi.

I saw the light on and the door open and I thought I'd come inside.

My first time here. I've never been here before in the, um, Author's Hangout," said Susan looking at the sign over the door. "Can someone help me?

I have one or two...thousand stories to post, can someone tell me how to submit a story?"

"What will you have?"

The bartender gave her an impatient look.

"I'll have a tall glass of cold milk," said Susan.

Showing a lot of white teeth, Susan smiled her best smile.

"Milk?"

The bartender looked at her as if she was trouble.

"Coffee then. Black with no sugar. French roast if you have it."

The bartender rolled her eyes and sighed.

"We have beer or hard liquor. What will it be lady?"

"Oh, dear. Then, give me a double shot of 151 proof rum and leave the bottle."

"You got it."

I don't know why but I have a feeling that it's going to be another long night.
Click to expand...

-----------------------------

Susan, so good!

Who are all these guys who constantly attack you? You must have scared the crap out of them sometime or other. It seems like they are the typical gang of cyber-forum-bullies who have nothing better to do than sound smart, but know little, and then make up outrageous lies.

Hmm, if Susan is a 'guy' then my eyesight must be really bad. I see a gorgeous blonde, well built, tall, articulate, well-educated and she actually writes stories here, not like a lot of folks.

Her icon photo looks just like her, since I happen to know her.

Lay off, guys. It's not cool, it's insulting and childish to keep hounding her.

I wish the moderator would just stop your constant taunting of Susan.

Ok?
 
SusanJillParker said:
Do you have any stories in the most read stories, Elfin? My story, I Love You, Mommy is at #60 on the all-time most read list with more than 2 million hits. That story was the most read story in all of 2010. How about that Elfin for a crappy story? I looked but I didn't see any of your stories on the all-time most read list. Do you have any stories on the all-time most read list, Elfin?

I would have had two stories in the top ten all-time most read list under my BostonFictionWriter name but I deleted them to post as e-Books.[/SIZE][/FONT]
Click to expand...

Where is this all time read list? It ranks by views I take it?
 
Incest is morally wrong in the eyes of society; incest exists on the edges of what is perceived as normal. Dark/dry Humor thrives on the edges. Humor and incest mesh meld and give birth to the perfect love child.

[This was deleted for some reason, i'm putting it back. It did not attack anyone.]
 
jaycox said:
-----------------------------

Susan, so good!

Who are all these guys who constantly attack you? You must have scared the crap out of them sometime or other. It seems like they are the typical gang of cyber-forum-bullies who have nothing better to do than sound smart, but know little, and then make up outrageous lies.

Hmm, if Susan is a 'guy' then my eyesight must be really bad. I see a gorgeous blonde, well built, tall, articulate, well-educated and she actually writes stories here, not like a lot of folks.

Her icon photo looks just like her, since I happen to know her.

Lay off, guys. It's not cool, it's insulting and childish to keep hounding her.

I wish the moderator would just stop your constant taunting of Susan.

Ok?
Click to expand...

Thank you, Daddy, for coming to my rescue.

These guys (lol)?

These guys are my fan club. They love me, they really love me. They go out of their way to post behind me. They write one thing on the forum boards and then write something else entirely in personal, private e-mails to me.

Truly, they love me, Daddy. They really love me.

"I love you, Daddy."
 
Your point is?

loquere said:
Incest is morally wrong in the eyes of society; incest exists on the edges of what is perceived as normal. Dark/dry Humor thrives on the edges. Humor and incest mesh meld and give birth to the perfect love child.

[This was deleted for some reason, i'm putting it back. It did not attack anyone.]
Click to expand...

I'm sure you have more on your mind. Would you grace us with your wisdom?
 
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