KimGordon67
Rampant feminist
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2014
- Posts
- 8,379
Women have been saying for decades this isn't OK, all of it, the sexual harrassment, the catcalling, the assault, the domestic violence - all of it. And we've been told
'don't take it so seriously'
'don't dress like that'
'don't go there at that time'
'men can't help themselves because biology'
'carry a gun'
... ad fucking nauseum. We get told to smile, because men like it when we're pretty ... but if we're TOO pretty, we're just asking to be raped. We've said, repeatedly, that this sort of behaviour (sexual innuendo in the workplace from men in positions of power, sexual 'compliments' hurled at us in public, etc etc) make us uncomfortable and we've basically been told we're wrong. Because apparently other people know better than we do how we feel.
And now some women are getting angry and everyone's going 'why didn't they say something sooner'? You try living for decades being told 'no, it's not really like that, you're imagining things' and then speak out against sexual misconduct, in a context in which there's a clear power differential.
... and all these men are saying 'oh, we feel so attacked'. Well, guess what - that's what it's like. That's what it's like never knowing when a 'harmless catcall' or 'compliment' from some guy in a street is going to turn into someone trying to drag you into a car. That's what it's like when a bit of 'workplace flirting' might turn into 'do this or I'll make your job very difficult'.
If you don't want to be accused of sexual misconduct, don't behave like an entitled prick who thinks women exist for their amusement. And if a woman does accuse of sexual misconduct and you're a bit confused by that, maybe look at your behaviour and think 'oh, yeah - actually I can see how that was a bit shit - sorry', or even just 'yeah, I can see how you would have felt like that'. When we say something makes us feel uncomfortable/unhappy/threatened, that's HOW WE FUCKING FEEL. Stop telling us we don't.
NB - I've used 'women', and probably also 'men' fairly generically here. I'm fully aware I'm not speaking for all women, nor about all men, but to qualify every statement accordingly would have taken half the day. So I mean 'women who feel this way' and 'men who are dicks'. Hope that's clear.
'don't take it so seriously'
'don't dress like that'
'don't go there at that time'
'men can't help themselves because biology'
'carry a gun'
... ad fucking nauseum. We get told to smile, because men like it when we're pretty ... but if we're TOO pretty, we're just asking to be raped. We've said, repeatedly, that this sort of behaviour (sexual innuendo in the workplace from men in positions of power, sexual 'compliments' hurled at us in public, etc etc) make us uncomfortable and we've basically been told we're wrong. Because apparently other people know better than we do how we feel.
And now some women are getting angry and everyone's going 'why didn't they say something sooner'? You try living for decades being told 'no, it's not really like that, you're imagining things' and then speak out against sexual misconduct, in a context in which there's a clear power differential.
... and all these men are saying 'oh, we feel so attacked'. Well, guess what - that's what it's like. That's what it's like never knowing when a 'harmless catcall' or 'compliment' from some guy in a street is going to turn into someone trying to drag you into a car. That's what it's like when a bit of 'workplace flirting' might turn into 'do this or I'll make your job very difficult'.
If you don't want to be accused of sexual misconduct, don't behave like an entitled prick who thinks women exist for their amusement. And if a woman does accuse of sexual misconduct and you're a bit confused by that, maybe look at your behaviour and think 'oh, yeah - actually I can see how that was a bit shit - sorry', or even just 'yeah, I can see how you would have felt like that'. When we say something makes us feel uncomfortable/unhappy/threatened, that's HOW WE FUCKING FEEL. Stop telling us we don't.
NB - I've used 'women', and probably also 'men' fairly generically here. I'm fully aware I'm not speaking for all women, nor about all men, but to qualify every statement accordingly would have taken half the day. So I mean 'women who feel this way' and 'men who are dicks'. Hope that's clear.
Last edited: