Size Matters

[Smallchange4]

That's pretty interesting. I'm not into SPH, but I do like the comparison and I do like it when I'm the smaller guy.

A while back, I was in a three-way with a friend of mine and his girlfriend. He was definitely a lot longer than me, but it was a huge turn-on because of how much attention his girlfriend gave my dick and, even though no one said anything, it was obvious that he was bigger than me.

After My wife and I both discovered I had developed An SPH fetish we engaged in the occasional threesome. She got to enjoy sex with much better endowed men and I got the vicarious thrills that go with the fetish. One of the most arousing was when we brought in a work colleague of mine. He had met my wife before at a couple of work socials. He was not only single but I knew that he had never even had a girlfriend before. I asked my wife if she would be interested if I solicited him about a possible threesome a nod she was fine with it. After a bit of negotiation he agreed to give it a go. Arrangements were made and we got together. He was a wee bit trepidatious because he was actually a 30 something year old virgin. This came out after a few bottles of wine. He got passed his case of nerves because he definitely wanted to change that stat and It was obviously a bit of a confidence booster when he saw how small my cock is. He was way bigger. What he lacked in experience he made up for in volume and exuberance. He definitely made my wife orgasm and this surely got him passed any future timidity. I was totally aroused because I was bested by a guy who was not only bigger but way less experienced .

 

[Smallchange4]

I’m about average in size but it’s pretty thick according to most of the women I’ve been with. This seems to be a plus. It is all about how you handle what you have. I know I’m not super endowed but I make up for it in other ways. Polish up on your oral skills and you can keep her happy with an average size

I know that girth is generally more important than length but I have a My erect far less than average girth as well. My erect penis is smaller than many guys flaccid cock.

 

[Smallchange4]

When I was in my late teens I dated a guy who had a small dick and sometimes premature ejaculation issues. I taught him to get me off with his mouth and fingers and a did everything he wanted sexually. I also fucked other guys (it wasn’t cheating as we were not exclusive). I fully enjoyed my relationship with him and got to enjoy bigger dicks sometimes.

Stay with me here because this analogy is a bit stretched but to me a small dick is kind of like a tofu burger. Some people are indifferent between the tofu and the beef burger. Some people even prefer the tofu burger. And of course some people prefer the beef burger. A well prepared tofu burger is preferable to a poorly prepared beef burger. And if I am a guest at someone’s house and they serve up a tofu burger I will accept it and enjoy it graciously.

But it is not the same fucking thing at all. That is just a fact. How anybody feels about the difference doesn’t change the fact that there is a difference. And if I want a beef burger there is nothing you can do to a tofu burger that will make it equivalent. If I order a beef burger in a restaurant it isn’t good enough to deliver a tofu burger and tell me how good the chef is with his hands - if I want beef his skills with tofu won’t make up the gap.

See I have no problem enjoying a tofu burger. What I have a problem with is if someone tries to force me to pretend it isn’t different or deny myself the opportunity to ever eat a beef burger again.

And that is kind of how monogamy makes the size thing into an issue. With monogamy it isn’t enough to enjoy each partner for what they are, we are expected to pretend one is the absolute best to the exclusion of all others. It isn’t small dick or big dick, tofu or beef that presents the problem. It is the compulsion to pretend.

Even though I became pretty good with foreplay and after play many of the women I have been with were somewhat unsatisfied with my penis. This was especially true of the ones who were used to sex with guys who were far better endowed then me. I once had a very short term relationship with one girl who had no interest in foreplay. She was all about fucking and only fucking. We had sex twice . She gave me a second chance because the first was so pathetic. I felt a lot of pressure both times because of the no foreplay thing. The first time I think I did an in out in out in cum Over in seconds. I was actually surprised when about 2 weeks later she was willing to give me a not.her chance to impress. I did way better and tripled my longevity!!! I didn't get a third go and she was so gracious as to pass on her assessment of my prowess to some of the other girls in my social group. I guess she doesn't take sexual disappointment well. It def torpedoed any chance of me garnering sexual interest from any girls in my social circle. Some may have known Inhave a rather tiny cock but no stamina is a buzz kill.

 

[liqueur]

When I was in my late teens I dated a guy who had a small dick and sometimes premature ejaculation issues. I taught him to get me off with his mouth and fingers and a did everything he wanted sexually. I also fucked other guys (it wasn’t cheating as we were not exclusive). I fully enjoyed my relationship with him and got to enjoy bigger dicks sometimes.

Stay with me here because this analogy is a bit stretched but to me a small dick is kind of like a tofu burger. Some people are indifferent between the tofu and the beef burger. Some people even prefer the tofu burger. And of course some people prefer the beef burger. A well prepared tofu burger is preferable to a poorly prepared beef burger. And if I am a guest at someone’s house and they serve up a tofu burger I will accept it and enjoy it graciously.

But it is not the same fucking thing at all. That is just a fact. How anybody feels about the difference doesn’t change the fact that there is a difference. And if I want a beef burger there is nothing you can do to a tofu burger that will make it equivalent. If I order a beef burger in a restaurant it isn’t good enough to deliver a tofu burger and tell me how good the chef is with his hands - if I want beef his skills with tofu won’t make up the gap.

See I have no problem enjoying a tofu burger. What I have a problem with is if someone tries to force me to pretend it isn’t different or deny myself the opportunity to ever eat a beef burger again.

And that is kind of how monogamy makes the size thing into an issue. With monogamy it isn’t enough to enjoy each partner for what they are, we are expected to pretend one is the absolute best to the exclusion of all others. It isn’t small dick or big dick, tofu or beef that presents the problem. It is the compulsion to pretend.

I love your analogy and how you express yourself.

 

[DyesonSphere]

[...]With monogamy it isn’t enough to enjoy each partner for what they are, we are expected to pretend one is the absolute best to the exclusion of all others. [...]

I agree with this statement and I feel it really hit the problem with modern monogamous relationship and marriages as a whole. It leaves very little room to be human and make mistakes. It honestly borders on codependency since they expect each other to be their best friend, best lover, the best in everything. If you make a mistake or fall short of the other's expectations, it rocks their world to recognize that the partner is human and that they can't accept it.

People expect cubic zirconia from a diamond, made flawless. But diamonds are valuable because of their flaws not their perfection.

 

[shelly2inme]

I love them all

Hi,

As most people know the average cock is just a little over 5inches. So, 4 is small but not that far off of average.

I don't think there can be a single answer to the question of size. If a woman loves big cocks then it matters.

However there are lots of woman like me that LOVE THEM ALL. I think that a man's penis is an amazing and beautiful part of his body.

I am a so-called "hotwife" and my husband has an 8 inch cock that I adore. But I am currently fucking eight other guys on a regular basis. Most of them have cocks in the 5-6 inch range. But one has a four inch cock and I just totally love it.

In fact, I probably have sex with him more than the other guys. To some degree that is because he lives on the same street and he works at home so he is always available if I feel a need.

Here is why his cock size doesn't matter and I don't think it should ever matter but I now it often does. But because my cunt got so stretched out when I gave birth 18 years ago I can't even tell if Danny (the guy with the 4 inch cock) is in me or not. So why does it not matter? Because he has developed amazing oral skills. So, when he comes over we 69. I love having a big cock in my mouth but I also love having Danny's small cock in my mouth. Because it is small I can have the whole thing in my mouth and have room to move my tongue around and do things to his shaft. It drives him nut and he cums hard and I love it when he finishes in my mouth.

The sad thing to me is that I know his size matters to him. My husband and I have guys over on most Saturdays for sex and Danny seldom comes. I have talked to him about it and he just feels uncomfortable having his cock out when my husband's 8 inch tool makes his look small.

I have really tired to help him see that I love the variety but I honor his feelings so we have most of our sex one on one.

So, my advice to guys that might be a little less than average is DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. If it doesn't matter to you it doesn't matter. But I do think it would be good to develop above average oral skills because girls love to have their cunts munched just as much as guys love to be sucked off. So, you will get a lot more pussy if you get good with your mouth.

Shelly

 

[liqueur]

Hi,

As most people know the average cock is just a little over 5inches. So, 4 is small but not that far off of average.... So, my advice to guys that might be a little less than average is DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. If it doesn't matter to you it doesn't matter. But I do think it would be good to develop above average oral skills because girls love to have their cunts munched just as much as guys love to be sucked off. So, you will get a lot more pussy if you get good with your mouth.

Shelly

Thanks, Shelly. My cock, fully inflated, is about average size—or according to you, slightly above average. All the same (and only slightly off-topic) at my age it doesn't perform the way it once did.

I have told younger women that if my cock ever fails to measure up, my tongue can more than make up for it. I don't get any takers anymore (but of course, I live in rural northern VT. Pretty conservative here, sex-wise.)

Anyway, thanks for your post. Its important feedback

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

cock size mattered to my partner and I was not the largest. It is awakening to hear her say, "so and so across the street is much bigger"

 

[woz8822]

cock size mattered to my partner and I was not the largest. It is awakening to hear her say, "so and so across the street is much bigger"

Ouch.

 

[gtnlynn]

I'm average size and I know that my wife dated one guy with a big cock. She dumped him for another guy with a small dick, but who really knew how to please her. The big dick guy came back to screw her again a year later, and she only went out with him one time. In her opinion, the big dick felt good, but it was nothing compared to a smaller dick on a guy who knew how to use it.

 

[problemagain]

I have never had another woman brag to me about how small a guys cock was

Truth is, if he knows what to do with it, bigger is better.

from what some women have told me, some men with huge cocks think all they have to do is stuff it in. that does a disservice to all men and to the women they are sexual with. it isnt enough to just have the wand, you have to know how to wave it

 

[MilkFountain]

Well yes size does matter, especially at the extremes. It’s not the only thing or even the most important thing but it isn’t irrelevant.

Ever notice that when asked the question directly most women obfuscate. Instead of just saying no we talk about how other things are more important. And that is true but if it didn’t matter at all we would just say no. For sure I have been with big cocked guys that weren’t very good and smaller cocked guys that were great. But if I can have it all in one package I’ll take 8”-9” as part of that package please.

I suppose some people can say that is shallow. But we all make some superficial judgments don’t we? We talk about what’s inside yet somehow the beautiful people end up with other beautiful people. And virtually all of us are more attracted to some people than others. Personality is part of it to be sure but in most cases it isn’t all of it. Just listen to the next person who judges others for being superficial and see how often they date people below their league or 1-10 rating.

Thanks for being candid and honest, Policywank. what most men don't fully realize is that in general women are exactly like men . . . get just as hot as men, have their own preferences, and like men, sometimes want to and sometimes not. Also, that cock size does, indeed, matter when all else is fine.

I'm an average 6.5" and have been told in no uncertain terms that I'm a good lover, even once, that I'm "the most virile man" she'd ever known. HOWEVER, interestingly, a good friend of both my wife and I joined us camping. Although he had his own tent, he'd joined us for dinner in ours for more wine and talk afterward, and stayed the night. Days later, on being asked, he told me his cock is over 9 inches and, as far as he'd been told, uncommonly big around. My wife said something I'll never forget: After the usual feminine equivocations, saying things like, "No, just different," She admitted that the only real difference was that he made her "feel fuller."

That seems to matter. The way she reluctantly said it, I'm sure it matters, one more aspect of enjoyment for her, and one which I could not match.

My wife loves me partially because I'm not insecure, and not easily intimidated. After that first experience, and after she had told me that "feeling fuller" was "nice," it was I who convinced her to call him for another evening with us. Nothing turns me on more than seeing my wife turned on.

 

[HighPlainsDrifter]

Love this thread please share more experiences and viewpoints.

 

[policywank]

Thanks for being candid and honest, Policywank. what most men don't fully realize is that in general women are exactly like men . . . get just as hot as men have their own preferences, and like men, sometimes want to and sometimes not. Also, that cock size does, indeed, matter when all else is fine.

I'm an average 6.5" and have been told in no uncertain terms that I'm a good lover, even once, that I'm "the most viril man" she'd ever known. HOWEVER, interestingly, a good friend of both my wife and I joined us camping. Although he had his own tent, he'd joined us for dinner in ours and wine and talk afterward, and stayed the night. Days later, on being asked, he told me his cock is over 9 inches. My wife said something I'll never forget: After the usual feminine equivocations, saying things like, "No, just different," She admitted that the only real difference was that he made her "feel fuller."

My wife loves me partially because I'm not insecure, and not easily intimidated. After that first experience, and after she had told me that "feeling fuller" was "nice," it was I who convinced her to call him for another evening with us. Nothing turns me on more than seeing my wife turned on.

I think that your wife makes an important point (at least indirectly) about the complex nature of sexuality.

Back to my food analogy, imagine if someone asked "does the protein you use in a meal matter." Well yes of course it does. But the question implies a simplistic linear criteria which simply doesn't apply. Any prepared dish is a combination of many ingredients and factors. Even if I prefer one meat to another in general it isn't a simple linear relationship where each is ranked in an absolute order independent of the other elements. Even if I have one favourite dish that doesn't mean I want to eat that dish for every meal of every day for the rest of my life. And the more experienced and complex a person's taste become the less likely they are to have a clear linear ranking of dishes.

Comparing the Kobe beef I had in Japan with the veal I had in Milan is an interesting discussion of the subtleties of fine cuisine. Asking me to rank them on a scale of one to ten belies a fundamental lack of understanding of the subject matter. More importantly given the opportunity I would never choose one or the other - I would choose to indulge both and enjoy the variety.

I can't really understand the premise that I only like fish and nothing else OR the premise that I don't care at all what the main protein is in the meal so long as it is well prepared. Both extremes strike me as irrational positions designed to assuage an insecurity or validate an ingrained bias or defend a closed mind.

I feel much the same way about men. As others have noted there are a variety of criteria that affect a man's sexual appeal. As I have said, for me cock size is not the most important, but all other things being equal, it is relevant. But I want to take the point one step further - even to the extent that size does matter it isn't a linear equation of bigger is always better or that one size is really ideal for all circumstances. I am going to contradict myself here in that earlier I said 8"-9" is ideal. I should have said ideal if I have to choose one size. But my true ideal is to have a range. There are times when for various reasons I genuinely want bigger or smaller.

It think that this "scale" is kind of a funny guy ego thing. If I tell an average sized guy that I want a bigger dick his ego is more likely to get bruised than if I tell a huge cocked guy that I would prefer a guy with a more modest sized dick. Why is that?

 

[sterculius]

In evaluating variables one always supposes other factors as being constant. It goes without saying that a lover of superior skills is to be preferred over one less talented. If a larger cock is deemed preferable (as I do) to a smaller one, this assumes other factors being equal, and when this is the case, the larger cock is capable of providing stronger sensations in addition to being visually more impressive. Being the unfortunate owner of an abnormally small penis. I have seen the disappointed look on the faces of prospective sex partners all too often.

 

[ChrissyCD64]

cock size mattered to my partner and I was not the largest. It is awakening to hear her say, "so and so across the street is much bigger"

I would have gone over to check him out, and hopefully get him to fuck me too!

 

[DyesonSphere]

[...]
It think that this "scale" is kind of a funny guy ego thing. If I tell an average sized guy that I want a bigger dick his ego is more likely to get bruised than if I tell a huge cocked guy that I would prefer a guy with a more modest sized dick. Why is that?

if I had to venture a guess, it's probably because it's equivalent to saying, "You're not man enough for me." (Preferring bigger) vs "You're too much of a man for me." (Preferring smaller)

It's a sad thing that society equates manhood to the size of one's penis rather than the content of his character.

 

[JMK_va]

Shelly, well said! I'm a 5" guy, and sex for my wife and me is now 95% oral - with me providing her with fall-down, pass-out orgasms with my mouth -- and has evolved that way as we both realized just how much better I could please her that way than with my penis. The satisfaction we both now have is 10000x better than before, when we both were doing what we thought we were "supposed" to do.

 

[policywank]

if I had to venture a guess, it's probably because it's equivalent to saying, "You're not man enough for me." (Preferring bigger) vs "You're too much of a man for me." (Preferring smaller)

It's a sad thing that society equates manhood to the size of one's penis rather than the content of his character.

I think that is exactly right and that is part of the reason I posed the question. The implication is that to some degree men's attitudes on the matter come down to an arbitrary measure of power or strength that is unrelated to the woman's point of view or pleasure. Quite literally it is ok to be unable to please a woman as long as it isn't due to physical inadequacy. Being rejected by a woman is not really a big deal as long as it is not due to physical inadequacy.

Doesn't that suggest that the issue for guys and cock size revolves around the judgment of other men, not women.

Maybe the question should be posed to men rather than women?

 

[coolhandluke2018]

It matters as much as the people involved let it matter.

More is not always better, bigger is not always better... society has brainwashed most people that way but it isn't always true.


Men have many ways to please a woman that do not involve a schlong the size of a pringles can. Some women can't handle a big hard throbber... they may have be in a lot of pain for days afterwards. In most cases, they could have gone with a much closer to average sized dick and got 90% of the satisfaction with 90% less of the pain afterwards.

Some women just want men who are large in the pants. That's fine. There are plenty who care more about it then that. Not all women (or people in general) view sex in the same way. Some people use sex as an expression of love, not just to get their rocks off. If your under average, your most likley not to win over the girl who goes home with a new guy a few times a month. Id say a lot of the time it's because the guy with the modest wang isn't given a chance.

I land just shy of average myself at about 5" (I perceive average to be 6"). Is that 1" really going to be a deal breaker? No. Because I am versed in using my hands and my mouth to get a woman chomping at the bit, and most times before I even slide it in I've already made her cum at least once with my mouth. I've been known to go down on a woman long enough that she pleades with me to just stick it in already because she can't take any more. That girl never gave a crap that I'm less than average or that I'm not much larger than average. She always enjoys it and so do I!

The point is that unless your like 2" hard as a rock... your going to be just fine. Not every woman likes under average dick.. but not every guy likes how big or small a girls tits are, or how big or small her ass is... plus the fact of the other things about a person beyond physical.. like personality and so on.

 

[policywank]

I think everyone seems to agree that there are many aspects to sex beyond the size of a cock. I do truly enjoy and appreciate a good oral game. And hey I am with you ladies that prefer a good attentive lover to a hung dolt. But that isn't really the "all other things being equal" comparison now is it?

Fellas if you can add to the good oral game with a nice sizeable fuck tool well that is a bonus now isn't it? If you can't well that is ok too, you can still come to the party. Just don't try to make me pretend I don't sometimes want a big dick.

 

[SlutAddicted]

It matters as much as the people involved let it matter.

More is not always better, bigger is not always better... society has brainwashed most people that way but it isn't always true.


Men have many ways to please a woman that do not involve a schlong the size of a pringles can. Some women can't handle a big hard throbber... they may have be in a lot of pain for days afterwards. In most cases, they could have gone with a much closer to average sized dick and got 90% of the satisfaction with 90% less of the pain afterwards.

Some women just want men who are large in the pants. That's fine. There are plenty who care more about it then that. Not all women (or people in general) view sex in the same way. Some people use sex as an expression of love, not just to get their rocks off. If your under average, your most likley not to win over the girl who goes home with a new guy a few times a month. Id say a lot of the time it's because the guy with the modest wang isn't given a chance.

I land just shy of average myself at about 5" (I perceive average to be 6"). Is that 1" really going to be a deal breaker? No. Because I am versed in using my hands and my mouth to get a woman chomping at the bit, and most times before I even slide it in I've already made her cum at least once with my mouth. I've been known to go down on a woman long enough that she pleades with me to just stick it in already because she can't take any more. That girl never gave a crap that I'm less than average or that I'm not much larger than average. She always enjoys it and so do I!

The point is that unless your like 2" hard as a rock... your going to be just fine. Not every woman likes under average dick.. but not every guy likes how big or small a girls tits are, or how big or small her ass is... plus the fact of the other things about a person beyond physical.. like personality and so on.

So in other words, yes size does matter but in your opinion the threshold at which it matters is 2".

I assume you accept the fact that the threshold is different for other people? I bet for most of us it is comfortably under our actual measurement. You know so if I have an 8" cock then 5" is the threshold and so on. That way I can imply that others who worry about this or women who want more are shallow and claim that my own prowess in other areas makes me immune to such concerns without concern that maybe my assertions will simply come across as self-serving over compensation.

 

[nibbles96]

Whenever this type of discussion happens there are always a lot of defensive posts and qualifications but if people really want to strip it to basics it is this - a lot of sex between men and women involves penetration, and a larger penis can do things to you which a small penis cannot.

It doesn't mean having a smaller penis is a bad thing or that a man with a small penis cannot satisfy a woman but it is silly to ignore that a big one gives all sorts of possibilities plus it is visually stimulating. Sorry but it's the truth. Some people have natural advantages like they can run fast, or sleep less or have more brain power and a big dick, whatever perceived disadvantages it may have, has some huge pluses going for it.

A good attentive lover is better than a hung dolt. But a hung good attentive lover is better than a good attentive lover with a small penis. It shouldn't make people feel bad but the equation of a large penis with a dolt or with being a bad lover is just not true however many times its repeated.

 

[Smallchange4]

Whenever this type of discussion happens there are always a lot of defensive posts and qualifications but if people really want to strip it to basics it is this - a lot of sex between men and women involves penetration, and a larger penis can do things to you which a small penis cannot.

It doesn't mean having a smaller penis is a bad thing or that a man with a small penis cannot satisfy a woman but it is silly to ignore that a big one gives all sorts of possibilities plus it is visually stimulating. Sorry but it's the truth. Some people have natural advantages like they can run fast, or sleep less or have more brain power and a big dick, whatever perceived disadvantages it may have, has some huge pluses going for it.

A good attentive lover is better than a hung dolt. But a hung good attentive lover is better than a good attentive lover with a small penis. It shouldn't make people feel bad but the equation of a large penis with a dolt or with being a bad lover is just not true however many times its repeated.

Totally all things being equal visually and sensually a larger penis has a certain advantage over a smaller one unless the girl herself for one reason or another prefers smaller As yet I have not met a woman who was overjoyed about my small endowment though

 

[DyesonSphere]

I think that is exactly right and that is part of the reason I posed the question. The implication is that to some degree men's attitudes on the matter come down to an arbitrary measure of power or strength that is unrelated to the woman's point of view or pleasure. Quite literally it is ok to be unable to please a woman as long as it isn't due to physical inadequacy. Being rejected by a woman is not really a big deal as long as it is not due to physical inadequacy.

Doesn't that suggest that the issue for guys and cock size revolves around the judgment of other men, not women.

Maybe the question should be posed to men rather than women?

It's a mix really. It's very similar to how women experience body dysmorphia except it's something that isn't easily changeable. It's often something that porn and media pushes that to have a bigger penis makes for a better lover. Both pushes that level of expectation that to few are capable of accomplishing.

Honestly, what's disappointing is that no guy can choose the size of their penis at birth, by the same token, no one can choose what body their born into. It's a shame that people feel inadequacy about something that they didn't choose to have.

Great lovers are taught to fully utilize what they have.