Gentlemen: Can you explain the appeal of cuckolding?

[XirixSeven]

Thanks for your post, jimmytm.

I quote this one sentence of it as a prime example of how language and terms must needs adapt when social norms change and people's shared experience tells a tale which will no longer fit the 'old' language. Perhaps there was a time when hardly anyone could conceive of the arrangement we're discussing here except in terms derogatory of the husband. That probably links with the old notions of a wife being in some sense the 'possession' of her husband. Experience has thankfully moved us on from that. The term, once accepted for the whole range of the possibilities of that lifestyle, fits it no longer. So we need to either drop it altogether, or give it a much narrower definition.

90% of what you wrote suckonsimon is valid. Men turned on by watching their wives with another man does not fall into the traditional concept of cuck. But certainly, even in our post-feminist times, cuck can still be a thing. A man whose woman stays with him for financial security and lives off of his sole breadwinning, occasionally she gives him sex, but she makes it clear she has other encounters, and he stays with her because she's hot, and she does not include him in her other encounters, that man is a cuck. A woman fucking every guy in town, including the men the guy knows, and he is clueless of this, she is cucking him and he is a cuck. There are other such examples.

I think you point out correctly that we need another term of language, as this consensual thing is merely a form of fetish excitement.

 

[XirixSeven]

i agree - would be good to know the other couple to some extent so there was more to it than just a "fuck"

Watching and being watched, both very hot.

Because we are burners, meaning we participate in regional burning man events and go to burner parties in Las Vegas and San Diego and the like, we are near a lot of like minded couples. So it was easy for us to find them. This sort of thing is fun, and as long as it's not poly, the experiences can be fantastic. I have talked to a guy we hooked up with who was on the bed opposite me with my wife, and when we talked about it afterward, he told me every time he sees her, he thinks of how she moaned out while he was inside of her and the memory never left him. I love the idea of that moment.

 

[crashD]

Because we are burners, meaning we participate in regional burning man events and go to burner parties in Las Vegas and San Diego and the like, we are near a lot of like minded couples. So it was easy for us to find them. This sort of thing is fun, and as long as it's not poly, the experiences can be fantastic. I have talked to a guy we hooked up with who was on the bed opposite me with my wife, and when we talked about it afterward, he told me every time he sees her, he thinks of how she moaned out while he was inside of her and the memory never left him. I love the idea of that moment.

interesting, never been to any of those, probably won't

daughter goes though.. eeek....

 

[XirixSeven]

interesting, never been to any of those, probably won't

daughter goes though.. eeek....

Though I've never been to it, Colorado's regional burn, called Apogaea, is supposed to be a good one. The closest I've been to you is Arizona's Seguaro Man, which just now ended by the way. We will be at Nevada's in June.

Re your daughter and the red light district at Apogaea (those theme camps that are adult oriented), remember that 90% of the theme camps are completely family friendly, or simply have a bar and nothing more. If your daughter wants to find her way to a sexually charged theme camp, then she's simply predisposed to do that regardless of being at a Burning Man event.

If you PM me, I will discuss with you how to find your way to another M/F couple of similar age and interests, if that's your thing. Some couples, for example, will only play soft (no penetration) and have lesser expectations and that is sometimes preferred. There are many ways to skin this cat. Of course, if you have a Donald Trump oriented fetish, you could always show up to Apogaea when your daughter is at an orgy, and join in. That will bring a new dimension to your family. LOL.

 

[MilkFountain]

Meandering . . .

90% of what you wrote suckonsimon is valid. Men turned on by watching their wives with another man does not fall into the traditional concept of cuck. But certainly, even in our post-feminist times, cuck can still be a thing. A man whose woman stays with him for financial security and lives off of his sole breadwinning, occasionally she gives him sex, but she makes it clear she has other encounters, and he stays with her because she's hot, and she does not include him in her other encounters, that man is a cuck. A woman fucking every guy in town, including the men the guy knows, and he is clueless of this, she is cucking him and he is a cuck. There are other such examples.

I think you point out correctly that we need another term of language, as this consensual thing is merely a form of fetish excitement.

IT'S CALLED SHARING. Everything else you mention is cuckold. (We do not need another word.)

 

[XirixSeven]

IT'S CALLED SHARING. Everything else you mention is cuckold. (We do not need another word.)

GOD HAS SPOKEN.

We can all breathe easier. Balance is restored to The Force.

 

[MilkFountain]

False!

First of all, I consider the meaning of cuckold to be that as found in Webster's. Simply being, a married man whose wife is having extra marital sex.

jimmyturtleman, YOU'RE PULLING A DONALD TRUMP, SPREADING FALSE, INVENTED INFORMATION.

Merriam-Webster Logo SINCE 1828


Definition of cuckold
: a man whose wife is unfaithful <---------------------------------------

(Are you Donald Trump?)

SHARING IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT MATTER. . . . . ARE YOU AN INVETERATE, HABITUAL, PATHOLOGICAL LIAR, jummyturtleman? Admit it, you never looked in the dictionary.

 

[MilkFountain]

Dictionary joke!

Speaking of confusing words . . . surprised vs astonished:

The wife of Noah Webster, one of the founders of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, came home early one day. On entering, she heard sounds from upstairs. once at the top of the stairs, she realized the sounds were coming from the master bedroom. On opening the door, she saw Noah atop the upstairs maid. Mrs. Webster exclaimed, "Why, Noah, I'm surprised!" Whereupon Mr. Webster turned toward her just enough to say to his wife, "No, my dear, you are astonished. I am surprised!"

I've always thought that, if she hadn't killed her husband for infidelity with the upstairs maid, certainly she should have shot him dead for correcting her under those circumstances! LOL!!!

 

[Pretty_kitty169]

Because some of us girls are wondering.

Thank you!

We have been married 17 years and indulged in sharing a few years ago. For husband it is exciting to be able to watch his wife find great pleasure in knowing his wife is his slut. She isn't going to spend the night, love the other man or any of those things, it's simply sex
For her she gets the pleasure and knows it is just sex.
We have always done new and exciting things to keep it hot between us. We are soul mates and know nothing will ever come between us. The other guy is basically a live dido and nothing more. And anytime we have an erotic sexual adventure the sex between us after is out of this world. I know it may sound crazy to those who don't understand it, but it is amazing for us. First time she was shared we did it 5 times that night. We had never did it 5 times in 1 night. We have many exciting and erotic experiences and happy to know that not everyone can handle

 

[magicalmoments]

candaulist .

Yes! I've never heard this word before. It's a goodie.

I'm a candulist, but I'm also a cuckold. I've been a cuckold by choice and i can assure everyone that humiliation was never, ever a part of that. If there had ever been a hint of humiliation from the other guys I would have hit them and they would not have got near my wife. If my wife had tried humiliating me the marriage would be over.

 

[curiouschattycouple]

We don't engage in any of the behavior, but the turn on for me in our fantasies is her pleasure.

 

[Sheana_V]

I'm the vixen in a cuckquean relationship. For her there's definitely an element of unacknowledged interest in women. There's also the humiliating submissive aspect, and I think she likes the idea that her husband is enough of a stud to fuck another woman. I imagine for cuckolds there's mirror feelings.
I generally enjoy seeing my boyfriends fuck other women, but I'm definitely not a cuckquean. I simply enjoy seeing them experiencing pleasure, and generally get turned on by fucking.

 

[Somehowyou]

I'll chime in here about seeing my girl with another man. It is WAY hot, watching him with her and knowing his mouth and hands are all over her as I am, and his cock is deep inside of her and he knows everything there is to know about her.

Since I only play MMFF foursome, I have often wondered what the other guy thinks about seeing me with his girl.

I don't care what you call it but I have had a serious girlfriend cheat on me and I have had another girlfriend - not as serious as the first - leave me for someone else. I have also had a wife have an affair on me.

The emotions I had during these life events...wondering were they were and why they were doing this to me. I was extremely pissed and angry. I was worried to death and saddened. I was also extremely turned on and I masturbated constantly. The hottest porn star of the day could have called me and asked me over for sex and it would of been difficult. All I wanted to do was fertilize my wife's eggs.

I don't get it and, at the time, I had no idea how to make this a win-win situation...or I didn't have the guts to.

Years later I would talk to my wife about her imaginary boyfriend while having sex. I have even admitted to her on a few occasions that her and another man turns me on. I have done this during sex mostly but I had admitted this to her.

Recently, I spent time with an escort that specializes in fantasies. She played my wife in a cuckold fantasy and I had the best two orgasms I have had in a long time.

I already mentioned this but I can't stop talking about it. What a good use of my bank account that was. I'll do it again.

 

[Pennyshub]

So is cuckolding have to involve humiliation or can it just be the desire to see you wife fuck another man ? I have the desire but , shaming, humiliation not our thing,

 

[Somehowyou]

So is cuckolding have to involve humiliation or can it just be the desire to see you wife fuck another man ? I have the desire but , shaming, humiliation not our thing,

No. No, I'm sorry you'll have to move along. You have to be properly humiliated first and then...

Here we go again. Do you want to watch your wife fuck another man? Yes. Yes you do.

 

[XirixSeven]

Yes! I've never heard this word before. It's a goodie.

I'm a candulist, but I'm also a cuckold. I've been a cuckold by choice and i can assure everyone that humiliation was never, ever a part of that. If there had ever been a hint of humiliation from the other guys I would have hit them and they would not have got near my wife. If my wife had tried humiliating me the marriage would be over.

magicalmoments, if this is your view of things than, like me, you are merely a candaulist plus. I use the term candaulist plus, to mean that I am not only turned on by another man seeing her nude, but also playing with her. that means, of course, that i'm simply into group sex play. I, like you, do not seek out humiliation in the mixture. so just understand that the person who began this topic is not what you and I are into. you say you're a cuck by choice, but not into humiliation. then you're not a cuck. you're exactly like me. you don't want to role play the humiliation, only the playtime. consider going the MMFF playtime. it includes your girl being worked by another man and you can enjoy it, but only on the level of the enjoyment and not the cuck aspect.

 

[XirixSeven]

I don't care what you call it but I have had a serious girlfriend cheat on me and I have had another girlfriend - not as serious as the first - leave me for someone else. I have also had a wife have an affair on me.

The emotions I had during these life events...wondering were they were and why they were doing this to me. I was extremely pissed and angry. I was worried to death and saddened. I was also extremely turned on and I masturbated constantly. The hottest porn star of the day could have called me and asked me over for sex and it would of been difficult. All I wanted to do was fertilize my wife's eggs.

I don't get it and, at the time, I had no idea how to make this a win-win situation...or I didn't have the guts to.

Years later I would talk to my wife about her imaginary boyfriend while having sex. I have even admitted to her on a few occasions that her and another man turns me on. I have done this during sex mostly but I had admitted this to her.

Recently, I spent time with an escort that specializes in fantasies. She played my wife in a cuckold fantasy and I had the best two orgasms I have had in a long time.

I already mentioned this but I can't stop talking about it. What a good use of my bank account that was. I'll do it again.

Somehowyou: I am confused about your interest. Please PM me and discuss w me what you are after.

 

[magicalmoments]

magicalmoments, if this is your view of things than, like me, you are merely a candaulist plus. I use the term candaulist plus, to mean that I am not only turned on by another man seeing her nude, but also playing with her. that means, of course, that i'm simply into group sex play. I, like you, do not seek out humiliation in the mixture. so just understand that the person who began this topic is not what you and I are into. you say you're a cuck by choice, but not into humiliation. then you're not a cuck. you're exactly like me. you don't want to role play the humiliation, only the playtime. consider going the MMFF playtime. it includes your girl being worked by another man and you can enjoy it, but only on the level of the enjoyment and not the cuck aspect.

I'm a traditionalist. The dictionary definition of cuckold has been well aired in this thread. I am a cuckold. My wife, well ex wife, had sex with other men while we were married.

 

[maxmagg]

i just feel great watching my wife having sex with another man,partly i know she deserve more than what i can give and why not?she should be able to try different cocks,
i find some men are incredibly possessive and they laugh at cuck husbands and call them names ,but do you really know what your wife wants?really? as for me i just want my wife to enjoy sex to the full,it opens up . As long as me and my wife respect each other we will not have any problems

 

[MilkFountain]

Shaming and humilliation have nothing to do with sharing!

So is cuckolding have to involve humiliation or can it just be the desire to see you wife fuck another man ? I have the desire but , shaming, humiliation not our thing,

Shaming and humiliation are separate, but if it's appropriate to you, it could be part of sharing. I feel no humiliation when another man truly wants my wife, is respectful about her, our marriage and me, and she truly wants him. I love to see her fulfilled.

 

[MilkFountain]

Live dildo????

. . .The other guy is basically a live dido and nothing more. . . .

You can't dismiss the invited stud/lover as a "live dildo".

We've indulged in a variety of erotic encounters. Even a "mercy fuck" to save a friend from free-falling into depression. With another, just out of 9 years in prison who was overwhelmed by my wife's presence when he stayed several nights with us. We've invited into our bed hormone-driven youths crazy with wanting my wife, and friends. They were each human beings, men with needs, histories and, one way or another, in love and lust with my wife.

At least two didn't know how much they needed her until afterward. LOL! One began by thinking he was doing us a favor. Another got to make love to her because he came to me to ask permission (said he was too shy to ask her) and my cooperation in convincing her, but that's another story.

The near-suicidal friend was grateful and definitely was helped by my wife's ministrations and my complicity. The friend, freed from prison just days before, had played out his need in my wife several times on the third, his final night he stayed with us, left saying that he could better face the world. Young men, well, they had varied reactions -- wanting to repeat the encounter, genuine love for and fixation on her, and one went back to his girlfriend, whom we later learned benefitted from learning from him things he had liked with my wife. Two friends have been with her alone, not initially aware I was complicit.

I talked on the phone with one of them weeks later. The conversation was not only an eye-opener, but erotic for both me and him as well. After the initial, awkward exchanges, we freely talked about the most intimate moments he had experienced. He said he realized that what she had let him enjoy, and the trouble she had gone to to not only satisfy him, but make him realize that she was passionately enjoying him, too, had given him an uplift, a better way of thinking of himself and life.

We've had one borderline bad experience. A man traveling through had dinner with us and spent the night. He just couldn't get enough. I guess it was, for him, the perfect storm: some enormous need, one of those moments when a man just esn't exhausted by climaxes, his perception of her as the perfect woman, his feeling free and unthreatened, a hormonal flood that just didn't quit, and a healthy body. He stayed hard through the night, always at her. My wife became sore. He just didn't listen. She tried to exhaust him, but that only seemed to provoke him more. I ended up stopping him, and she offered to suck him until he he slept, which is what happened. I've often thought about how she felt, and I'm pretty sure she felt a mix of flattery, fulfillment as a woman so wanted, and maybe annoyance that he hadn't listened to her. Two days after he left, thousands of miles away in another country, he phoned to thank her.

There were wonderful moments for her too, flattering, arousing and memorable moments. At a going away dinner in our home for a young man we both found charming, witty and hilariously funny, who had been a student of hers in a pottery class at the university and was about to return to his country, asked in a bold moment after we had all had too much wine and were at the giggling stage, if he could see my wife's breasts. We had been talking about them, something to do with getting up at night to feed our baby. I had just related a SCUBA diving incident in which she had lost her top without knowing it.

She hadm't become aware of her semi-nudity until she climbed up out of the water at the lake's edge, became aware of the stares, and looked down. Our guest said, "I wish I could have seen that." We three laughed and I said to my wife, "Show him." It took some encouraging from me and, finally, from the boy and me, but she fnally did, but she surprised us both. She lifted her entire dress off up over her head, stood a moment in only her bikini panties and high heels, and then sat down again and began eating. There's much more, but you get the idea.

There was one memorable moment that simply blew me away. The guy, a hitch-hiker on his way to visit a friend in Canada, stayed a night with us. He had the largest cock I've ever seen, fat and long. When he scooted up until his balls were against her vagine and laid his cock up onto her belly, the tip reached her navel. That meant, when I saw him buried balls deep in her, her legs up over his shoulders, his cock went all the way above the area of her hips and up through to her belly. When I asked her later, she said that it hadn't hurt her, but had made her "feel full." He was proud of his cock and of his performance, and the next morning we waved him off as a friend.

The "other guy" is not just a dildo! They remember the encounter for the rest of their lives too.

 

[Pennyshub]

Shaming and humiliation are separate, but if it's appropriate to you, it could be part of sharing. I feel no humiliation wehn another man truly wants my wife, is respectful about her, our marriage and me, and she truly wants him. I love to see her fulfilled.

You hit the nail on the head for me. This is exactly how I view the whole situation. Thank you!

 

[rostrum]

My wife reconnected with an ex lover about a year ago. Their conversations quickly turned to sex. She was honest with me about it from the start. Although she didn't ask for it, I gave her permission to meet up with him for sex. She jumped at the chance and they've been getting together every couple of months ever since. It's put a huge spark into our sex life and it allows her to explore sexual interests that I might not share.

It turns me on to know that other men find her desirable and that she's​ turned on by the attention.

 

[Porkwarrior]

Some people are simply lacking the "jealousy gene", and are aroused by their SO's arousal.

Ofcourse this is far from the norm, and suggesting that it's okay for your SO to play with others can be a minefield. I've had problems with SO's that were insulted and downright pissed off at me for suggesting they might like to be shared and it's okay for them to do if they wanted.

Getting across that it turns me on to see them turned on, even if it wasn't me, can be difficult.

 

[MilkFountain]

No lack of genes

Some people are simply lacking the "jealousy gene", and are aroused by their SO's arousal.

Ofcourse this is far from the norm, and suggesting that it's okay for your SO to play with others can be a minefield. I've had problems with SO's that were insulted and downright pissed off at me for suggesting they might like to be shared and it's okay for them to do if they wanted.

Getting across that it turns me on to see them turned on, even if it wasn't me, can be difficult.

Some of us, hugely jealous when young, have simply moved on. One might even say, matured, stopped being a selfish ass.