/girlcrushing
I feel as dumb as a potato by comparison to CB now.
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/girlcrushing
All of your posts and the information therein is simply amazing.
CB, I think I'm going to cry. A truly beautiful post. Arrggh.
All of your posts and the information therein is simply amazing.
CB, I think I'm going to cry. A truly beautiful post. Arrggh.
For everyone's information, CB has a wonderful thread on the Playground, Daddy's Little Girl, http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1285088. The discussion, pictures, and writings there will really help you get the essence of this relationship.
Forgive me for butting in and also if I seem silly. I have zero experience in this area. Obviously.
There seems to be a dichotomy here. You note warmth, encouragement, and empathy, but then go on to mention that you are sadistic. You also clearly enjoy the umm punishment or correction side of such a relationship. I'm sorry. I'm confused. Is this always part of a D/s relationship? I understand the concept of wanting to please a man. Duh. LOL But I fear an impish nature would lead me to being "in trouble" all the time. And having been a model child, never in trouble, I don't know how playfulness would fit into a relationship like this. Arghh!
I'm doing a pitiful job of articulating here. I do not know how to frame what I am trying to say. Never mind. I'm going to go hide again.
As an aside, I would add that I could only view the article CB posted as one would a city in fresh snow. It's a beautiful, flowing narrative where even abandoned buildings and dumpsters shine crystalline in the moonlight. I see some of myself in those passages, but only a few. A rock? Oh sure, unless I'm depressed or anxious or passive aggressive or whatever other toxins are bubbling up that day. Hell, can I have the Daddy described in that article?? Please??
I think that perhaps sometimes the best strategy on Lit is to just wait, and eventually others will say more clearly what you intend. CB and Raingirl have done a fine job of fleshing out my stick figures.
The only way I can respond to your (valid) points is, "Because human variance." I can be quite an encouraging person, but I'm also sadistic and like to dispense humiliation. I don't know why, except that I'm a bundle of contradictions in lots of areas of my life, and this is no different.
As an aside, I would add that I could only view the article CB posted as one would a city in fresh snow. It's a beautiful, flowing narrative where even abandoned buildings and dumpsters shine crystalline in the moonlight. I see myself in some of those passages, but only a few. A rock? Oh sure, unless I'm depressed or anxious or passive aggressive or wildly jealous or whatever other toxins are bubbling up that day. Hell, can I have the Daddy described in that article?? Please??
So again, I can't answer your questions except to say that trying to pin down any sort of PYL or pyl is like trying to draw a definitive representation of a "tree." There is no tree. There are tens of thousands of varieties of trees, and some may bear no resemblance to your idea of a tree, or to each other.
Have I muddied the waters?
I think that perhaps sometimes the best strategy on Lit is to just wait, and eventually others will say more clearly what you intend. CB and Raingirl have done a fine job of fleshing out my stick figures.
The only way I can respond to your (valid) points is, "Because human variance." I can be quite an encouraging person, but I'm also sadistic and like to dispense humiliation. I don't know why, except that I'm a bundle of contradictions in lots of areas of my life, and this is no different.
As an aside, I would add that I could only view the article CB posted as one would a city in fresh snow. It's a beautiful, flowing narrative where even abandoned buildings and dumpsters shine crystalline in the moonlight. I see myself in some of those passages, but only a few. A rock? Oh sure, unless I'm depressed or anxious or passive aggressive or wildly jealous or whatever other toxins are bubbling up that day. Hell, can I have the Daddy described in that article?? Please??
So again, I can't answer your questions except to say that trying to pin down any sort of PYL or pyl is like trying to draw a definitive representation of a "tree." There is no tree. There are tens of thousands of varieties of trees, and some may bear no resemblance to your idea of a tree, or to each other.
Have I muddied the waters?
It's not the age play issue, but certainly the care, the dependability, the safety, the reliability, the love that feels pretty unconditional, and makes me want to do my best to be the partner he deserves, the encouragement and support.....aspects that might also have been found in 'traditional' marriages, or many 'equal', 'vanilla' ones too.
I have an online account at a kinky dating or hook-up site elsewhere. Been on it for years (met my husband there!) I've noticed the rise in desire to have a Daddy / babygirl or littlegirl dynamic.
In many of the women's profiles, I see this magnified sense of wanting to find the One who will see in to their souls. A protector and mentor, someone who will ride in on the white unicorn and save the day. Cherish me! Discipline me! Love me for who I truly am! In return for this sense of safety and commitment, the babygirl will be loyal and loving. Who doesn't want that!? Somehow, calling it Daddy/little girl gives us permission to be more romantic? More playful? For some, does that mean less submissive? There are a lot of princesses and kittens in profile names.
I like the Daddy/girl dynamic but I've gotten to this place without my rose colored glasses. I was in a Master/slave relationship that left me wanting something more. I like rules, structure, having someone be the boss of me. But I like the idea that I can bring a more joyful sense of submission in to the relationship.
I've posted in the Daddy's little girl thread in the playground. There are a ton of memes dedicated to this mindset. I'm careful what I post - as a 54 year old whose feet are planted firmly in the real world of my messy, chaotic life - seeing young, slim girls wrapped in daddy's arms gets a little old. I love the sentiment, I find it erotic but I also know the pitfall of longing for someone to shield me from the world. I have days I wish that could be true!
As always, these labels are just that... a starting point to have a conversation, a way to think about a relationship. In the end, it doesn't matter what you call it as long as you keep the lines of communication open and agree on the expectations.
I think this is an excellent point, and also brings to the surface why I've always had a bit of an issue with the DD/lg dynamic.
The daddies are almost always presented as completely infallible and perfect people. If they have weaknesses, they always know how to deal with them and they never struggle with their own emotions for example. The DD/lg dynamic never seems to be discussed from the point of view that even the D might have (has) issues.
So DGE's comparison of the article to a city in fresh snow is to me maybe the most astute thing I've ever read regarding DD/lg. People like described in the article are like a city in fresh snow; only snow melts, it turns brown at places, while remains pristine, white and fluffy in others and it can turn everything into a big hot mess too. The fresh snow only stays for a while.
It's refreshing to see DGE point out he's not perfect.
Perhaps I haven't fully embraced being [PYL/pyl]. I've been [daily demands that society and your circumstances place upon you that being a PYL/pyl relieves] for too long! But I know in those moments that I can surrender all those things fully, I find the most peace.
Totally agree with you, again! I too felt the article about Dom Daddies was a bit sugar coated, and like you said, recognized some components of my Daddy, but in other parts not so much. I know posters in this thread have been heavily toward the "DDlg has nothing to do with incest/taboo fetish" and that article said that Daddies and their girls "detest" parallels to incest.. but I'll be honest, my Dom Daddy and I really enjoy the taboo of playing Daddy/daughter..true, he doesn't call me 'daughter,' it's always "baby girl," but he'll tell me "Shhh, be quiet baby girl, we can't let Mommy hear," and I'll respond in kind, with dirty talk that plays at that kind of taboo.. And no, neither of us condone real life incest, and we would both be disgusted/horrified by a real life father/daughter incest situation. But we do both get off on taboos and the dirtier the better.
the article CB posted ...is like... a beautiful, flowing narrative where even abandoned buildings and dumpsters shine crystalline in the moonlight.
Hell, can I have the Daddy described in that article?? Please??
bold added by me for emphasis. Again - just as there is no such thing as a Twue Dom and my idea of what I seek in a PYL does not match what you seek or who you are - there is also no such thing as a Twue sub - and the way I function in one relationship may be entirely different from how I will function in another as these are all about the way in which dyads feed one another and resonate in ways that cannot be predicted.So again, I can't answer your questions except to say that trying to pin down any sort of PYL or pyl is like trying to draw a definitive representation of a "tree." There is no tree. There are tens of thousands of varieties of trees, and some may bear no resemblance to your idea of a tree, or to each other.
The daddies are almost always presented as completely infallible and perfect people. If they have weaknesses, they always know how to deal with them and they never struggle with their own emotions for example. The DD/lg dynamic never seems to be discussed from the point of view that even the D might have (has) issues.
Nor am I a 'traditional' little. I don't wear ears and tails. Or bobby socks and pigtails. I'm a grown woman in charge of most aspects of my life, very independent, who needs a space where I'm supported emotionally and can be as lost and vulnerable as I feel most of the time. I've enjoyed reading other little's posts that seem to say the same.
Perhaps I haven't fully embraced being little. I've been big for too long! But I know in those moments that I can surrender all those things fully, I find the most peace.
DeepGreenEyes has illustrated a very good point though. DD/lg is still a relationship. Two way street, and those involved have to support each other for it to work.
The article... was missing maybe some necessary truths of fibre and reality. I find this a lot with memes or pieces like this meant to sum things up. It doesn't make them lesser, it just means they are part of a whole.
In many of the women's profiles, I see this magnified sense of wanting to find the One who will see in to their souls. A protector and mentor, someone who will ride in on the white unicorn and save the day. Cherish me! Discipline me! Love me for who I truly am! In return for this sense of safety and commitment, the babygirl will be loyal and loving. Who doesn't want that!? Somehow, calling it Daddy/little girl gives us permission to be more romantic? More playful? For some, does that mean less submissive? There are a lot of princesses and kittens in profile names.
I like the Daddy/girl dynamic but I've gotten to this place without my rose colored glasses.... I like rules, structure, having someone be the boss of me. But I like the idea that I can bring a more joyful sense of submission in to the relationship.
As always, these labels are just that... a starting point to have a conversation, a way to think about a relationship. In the end, it doesn't matter what you call it as long as you keep the lines of communication open and agree on the expectations.
And some of the hotness you describe, and of much of D/s as a whole, comes from the human need for a safe place to experience real places in the human psyche that are deemed off-limits.
Cushioned transgression.
We love Halloween as a concept - or haunted houses or scary movies - because they are ritualized ways of experiencing and enacting fears, as well as our needs to give over in a safe way to threatening energies we know swim beneath the surface of our daily lives. Also, Reese's cups.
So many folks are dressing it up (which it deserves) but the difference is nothing dressy. Its age play. Its pretending to be a child or exhibiting childlike qualities. Examples: dressing young, wearing diapers, using pacifiers, bedtimes, story times, pouting, tantrums. A Dominant/submissive and Daddy Dom/little girl relationship actually share many of the same traits. Examples: control, spankings, power exchange, authority, submission, sex, emotion, trust. The difference is in the "age" of the submissive. Thats pretty much it. Of course it can be elaborated on and the are many twists and turns and kinks in each individual relationship which most define between the two parties and can get very intricate. Hope that helps. Its only the tip of the iceburg.
Note:I have noticed over the past 5 years in increase in the number of submissive women looking for a "daddy dom".
Please help me understand what makes a daddy dom dynamic different from a traditional dom/sub dynamic.
Looking forward to hearing from you all...
J