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I LOVE doing this!!
Why does this have to be zero sum?
Both archetypes are important to me. I actually DO get off on some of the porny and problematic interactions with some people.
AND I actually do relational erotic BDSM with other people. I can be nurturing as fuck. But I will NOT have that demanded of me as part of being "correct" by anybody.
I'm sick of being told what I should and should not like. Dominant woman thing, I guess.
I will say that the "no REAL woman could possibly get off on treating men like this" that I've seen a lot of is VERY heterocentric. Women who do not relate to men heterosexually can certainly objectify them, exert sadistic power over them, and derive pleasure from it, and if that is consensually arranged, then what the hell is the problem?
Eroticism is a lot of things. Romance and orgasm is just one facet. You don't even have to have appropriate orientations or attractions that "fit" traditionally to have it.
So I'll take a pass on being saved from femdom porn, as much as I've taken a pass on having to conform to its dumbest standards.
And if I want to look at men being hot submissive and sexy, I look at gay smut. I never relate to the female presence at all in these things, whether it's conventionally hot or not when I'm in androphile mode on state. I want to be the consumer and consume him, not find an avatar that looks like me.
That should do it for me for today. Thank you all to those that answered my questions.
@bailadora: Thanks so much for the call out *smile*. I'm really glad you enjoy my writing, and that video was such a joy to put together: I'm still blown away by the beauty of the men in it, and their willingness to share.
Re the OP, I agree that much of what's most accessible 'out there' isn't encouraging for women.
When I started my blog, I wrote this:
**"I wanted to read about real people living in happy, healthy, troubled, flawed, loving D/s relationships where the Domme’s submissive was her primary partner, where he was cherished, adored, and opened up like a ripe peach for the taking. I wanted incredible hotness and sex and affection and beauty. I wanted hurt hearts and struggles and magic moments and some truth that I could relate to. I couldn’t find it, so I created it."** (ugh, can't figure out how formatting works here!)
Not being able to find reflections of my version of dominance made me feel isolated. I think there are a lot more blogs and tumblrs out there now that veer away from the stereotypical portrayals of femdom.
I have some great blogs and some tumblrs of beautiful submissive men on my blog list: http://www.domme-chronicles.com/blogs-i-read
Ferns