Normal behavior of my partner?

[DarkPrimalRose]

Hi all...i finally broke up with him, my last experience made me take that decision; i am a mess right now, but i hope that time will heal everything. Thank you all for your answers and for the support

It's hard to be strong and to do what is right for you. Time will help and you will heal. Surround yourself with people who love you

 

[emme8]

Hi all...i finally broke up with him, my last experience made me take that decision; i am a mess right now, but i hope that time will heal everything. Thank you all for your answers and for the support

Yes it's hard right now. And you are strong and smart and very tough. You will be so much better off very soon. There are lots of wonderful guys who will love you and worship you and Dominate you if you still desire. Best of luck finding one soon. And in the meantime, enjoy your freedom.

I'm going to edit this. And add.

You have already demonstrated how smart you are by recognizing early the signs that something is not right. You demonstrated how strong and tough you are by standing up for yourself. Kudos to you

 

[Quitecurious]

He's escalating and not going to stop. You're going to need to stop doing what he wants.

He's abusive and that usually escalates too. When he doesn't get his way or you don't obey immediately he verbally, emotionally and/or physically abuses you.

He's no Dom. He's an abuser. There's a big difference.

He doesn't care what you want. Doesn't seem to care about you at all. He just wants what he wants and you're the vehicle for him to get it.

Your mind tells you to end the relationship but your heart tells you something else...put your big girl panties on and do the right thing. This is not love and you know it. Better alone than with an abuser and someone whose inappropriate behaviour is escalating. Take your self respect back.

Exactly this. Well put.

 

[VixenQueen]

Hi all. I would need some advice from you. 6 months ago i met guy to a dating app, we understood well from the start, we had attraction, chemistry, all package. He is cute, smart, funny, have a good job, he was attentive to my needs, he supports me emotionally, he always bought me gifts, flowers, and he made me feel loved. After a while, i discovered that he was into BDSM staff, he is dominant and likes ditry talking in bed, to play roles, likes he likes to handcuff me, spanking, flogging, nipple clips. At first, i was surprised and...what the h**l, then i got used to it and discovered that side submissive from me. Then summer started and i found that he likes me to dress sexy not only in bedroom, but also when we got out, he bought me short dresses and skirts, some of them shorter than i ever wore when i was 20(now i am 32 years old), he wanted me to sunbath topless and i did that too, even if i don't like when other people stare at my body. Then things went further and he became more dominant and bought me shorther dresses or sheer dresses, split dresses and wanted me to wear them braless and pantiless with 5,6,7 inch heels. I told him that i can't wear some of them without flashing people and he joked that in the worse case i will make someone a better day. Last month it was a friend of his's wedding and he bought me a backless metallic sequin mini dress and wanted me to wear it without undies to the event. I told him that the dress was made for a photo shot, not to be worn outside, especially if you are guest to a wedding, was almost sheer, had a lot of cleavage and was way too short. I tried it over and over again in front of the mirror and i told him that i won't wear that dress. I wore a silk mini dress that was inappropriate for the event anyway, but he got angry and was grumpy all night. All men were staring at me and made me compliments about my outfit, but was not sexy enough for his request, he reproved me that spend a lot of money for the dress and i didn't appreciated it. When we got home, he spanked me harder than anytime, that let me marks for the next 2 days and bruises for the whole week. The next day he told me that he will make a food delivery and to forgive me, he wants me to answer the door completely naked to the delivery guy. I refused at first, then he told me that would be a real turn on for him and pushed me for a few days, until i did that. I have never felt so humiliated in my entire life, i was standing in the front of the door only in my birthday suit, being exposed for a random guy, just to please my boyfriend. Can this go any further? I really love him and i don't wan't to brake up, but this is too much. Should i try to talk with him, or to run away as far as i can?

It sounds like you are open to new things but you have to set boundaries and decide what you are comfortable with and what you are not comfortable with. You may have to be willing to walk away.

 

[KentBloke]

Walking away can be hard but the only person you need to be cfsithful to" is YOU! Set the limits you want and, where necessary, enforce them (however is best in the situation). The scenario you described is simply abuse of you and, as you found out, the best way to be true to yourself is to get out.
Having said that... welll done for standing up for yourself and I hope you find someone who truly appreciates your strength!!

 

[Wonderer67]

Hi all...i finally broke up with him, my last experience made me take that decision; i am a mess right now, but i hope that time will heal everything. Thank you all for your answers and for the support

Ive been off of lit for a while, but I am glad you did this. I’m sure that this was tough for you, but I am equally sure that this is the best thing for you in the long run.

 

[firmbutgentle]

I am glad to hear you broke up with him. If you can't really trust that you'll be taken care of, you shouldn't submit. That's the most basic requirement for dominating someone.

There is someone else out there who will do these kinds of things to you safely, humiliate you without abusing you, and will work gently with you if he wants to push you past your boundaries. Good luck.

 

[sinfulchaoticdesires]

It's bout talking and consenting.. always consensual. This isn't. Its that simple. If in any way you feel uncomfortable. Speak up. There's better people who will listen.
As a Dominant Female in many relationships I've been in... I always.. ALWAYS make sure my sub or partner can voice their opinions and feelings.
What makes me happy is when they desire things to do with me..
Delicious as they may be to show off. It's not sexy or hot when the one being shown off.. isn't into it or consenting.

P.s. I am glad you broke it off with him

 

[Purple_Fronds]

Hi all...i finally broke up with him, my last experience made me take that decision; i am a mess right now, but i hope that time will heal everything. Thank you all for your answers and for the support

So this is a couple of months ago and so I’m hoping things are going well for you. As is the nature of this format I’m seeing it now but I still felt compelled to respond, it looks like you got a good advice and most importantly you acted on it. Like the other respondents I’m really glad you broke it off, it was abusive. In the hope you come back to your thread, I wanted to advise you to stay diligent, seek help if you need it and listen to your gut. Also without meaning to be patronizing I think you should be very proud of yourself.

 

[MarksExperiences]

Hi all. I would need some advice from you. 6 months ago i met guy to a dating app, we understood well from the start, we had attraction, chemistry, all package. He is cute, smart, funny, have a good job, he was attentive to my needs, he supports me emotionally, he always bought me gifts, flowers, and he made me feel loved. After a while, i discovered that he was into BDSM staff, he is dominant and likes ditry talking in bed, to play roles, likes he likes to handcuff me, spanking, flogging, nipple clips. At first, i was surprised and...what the h**l, then i got used to it and discovered that side submissive from me. Then summer started and i found that he likes me to dress sexy not only in bedroom, but also when we got out, he bought me short dresses and skirts, some of them shorter than i ever wore when i was 20(now i am 32 years old), he wanted me to sunbath topless and i did that too, even if i don't like when other people stare at my body. Then things went further and he became more dominant and bought me shorther dresses or sheer dresses, split dresses and wanted me to wear them braless and pantiless with 5,6,7 inch heels. I told him that i can't wear some of them without flashing people and he joked that in the worse case i will make someone a better day. Last month it was a friend of his's wedding and he bought me a backless metallic sequin mini dress and wanted me to wear it without undies to the event. I told him that the dress was made for a photo shot, not to be worn outside, especially if you are guest to a wedding, was almost sheer, had a lot of cleavage and was way too short. I tried it over and over again in front of the mirror and i told him that i won't wear that dress. I wore a silk mini dress that was inappropriate for the event anyway, but he got angry and was grumpy all night. All men were staring at me and made me compliments about my outfit, but was not sexy enough for his request, he reproved me that spend a lot of money for the dress and i didn't appreciated it. When we got home, he spanked me harder than anytime, that let me marks for the next 2 days and bruises for the whole week. The next day he told me that he will make a food delivery and to forgive me, he wants me to answer the door completely naked to the delivery guy. I refused at first, then he told me that would be a real turn on for him and pushed me for a few days, until i did that. I have never felt so humiliated in my entire life, i was standing in the front of the door only in my birthday suit, being exposed for a random guy, just to please my boyfriend. Can this go any further? I really love him and i don't wan't to brake up, but this is too much. Should i try to talk with him, or to run away as far as i can?

 

[GlasDomDaddy]

Hi all. I would need some advice from you. 6 months ago i met guy to a dating app, we understood well from the start, we had attraction, chemistry, all package. He is cute, smart, funny, have a good job, he was attentive to my needs, he supports me emotionally, he always bought me gifts, flowers, and he made me feel loved. After a while, i discovered that he was into BDSM staff, he is dominant and likes ditry talking in bed, to play roles, likes he likes to handcuff me, spanking, flogging, nipple clips. At first, i was surprised and...what the h**l, then i got used to it and discovered that side submissive from me. Then summer started and i found that he likes me to dress sexy not only in bedroom, but also when we got out, he bought me short dresses and skirts, some of them shorter than i ever wore when i was 20(now i am 32 years old), he wanted me to sunbath topless and i did that too, even if i don't like when other people stare at my body. Then things went further and he became more dominant and bought me shorther dresses or sheer dresses, split dresses and wanted me to wear them braless and pantiless with 5,6,7 inch heels. I told him that i can't wear some of them without flashing people and he joked that in the worse case i will make someone a better day. Last month it was a friend of his's wedding and he bought me a backless metallic sequin mini dress and wanted me to wear it without undies to the event. I told him that the dress was made for a photo shot, not to be worn outside, especially if you are guest to a wedding, was almost sheer, had a lot of cleavage and was way too short. I tried it over and over again in front of the mirror and i told him that i won't wear that dress. I wore a silk mini dress that was inappropriate for the event anyway, but he got angry and was grumpy all night. All men were staring at me and made me compliments about my outfit, but was not sexy enough for his request, he reproved me that spend a lot of money for the dress and i didn't appreciated it. When we got home, he spanked me harder than anytime, that let me marks for the next 2 days and bruises for the whole week. The next day he told me that he will make a food delivery and to forgive me, he wants me to answer the door completely naked to the delivery guy. I refused at first, then he told me that would be a real turn on for him and pushed me for a few days, until i did that. I have never felt so humiliated in my entire life, i was standing in the front of the door only in my birthday suit, being exposed for a random guy, just to please my boyfriend. Can this go any further? I really love him and i don't wan't to brake up, but this is too much. Should i try to talk with him, or to run away as far as i can?

If I think optimistically then this guy's sex fantasies/games have leaked into his real life. Kinda of like how some guys with a foot fetish think that all woman enjoy having their feet touched all the time. He might not be a bad guy, he might just be caught up in it.

It's kinda like he's been watching a tv show for so long he's forgotten what real life is like; you can't open the door naked to a delivery person for many many reason, but one of the main ones is that the delivery person is not part of your game and god knows what effect that will have on them. I would be horrified if I went to deliver something and a woman answered the door naked, and generally speaking I like naked women.

He spanked you so hard that it left bruises for a week; I know a girl who likes that level of spanking but that is a very agreed and understood activity that happens only when she asks for it. I mean literally asks me to do it.

If he did that without your consent or without talking about it first then you need back off. Maybe it can be fixed with a conversation or a reality check, maybe he got caught up in his fantasy or maybe he is abusive. Either way that's a big no no.

My advice would be to tell him you want to go on a normal date, where he takes you out for dinner and then you go home alone afterward. If he handles that well then he probably just got carried away, if he starts throwing his toys out of his pram then you gotta get away from him.

 

[GlasDomDaddy]

HE SHOULD HAVE DISCUSSED LIMITS AND CONSENT.

This.

 

[simonab1990]

Thanks all for your answers, I broke up with him at the end of October, now i have a relationship for 3 months and everything seems to be going well

 

[GlasDomDaddy]

Thanks all for your answers, I broke up with him at the end of October, now i have a relationship for 3 months and everything seems to be going well

Good stuff