Why Aren't BBW's All as confident as the ones here?

[craig30]

Oh goodness...so much happens in a call center. There is always someone sleeping with someone else, someone saying something about someone...its like high school, only filled with adults.

Yeah pretty much. All ages really.

 

[craig30]

I think there is just more people at a call center, so there are more opportunities and more gossip.

And you right up everyone else's ass really since your so close.

 

[Fsupeach]

I am a BBW...no doubt about it. I like coming to lit because its nice to hear a guy say I am beautiful and sexy. It makes me feel that way. I will share with you exactly why BBWs aren't always confident...this actually happened to me yesterday.

At work we all had to dress up in pink (don't ask) and my team, which is all women, wore our hair in pigtails with ribbons. This bitchy girl who used to be a friend of mine actually made a comment after seeing me yesterday, that fat girls shouldn't wear pigtails, because, hello the word pig is in it and fat girls are already fat enough...she then she oinked.

Things like that beat down my confidence, making it take quite awhile to be built back up.

But all you BBW lovers here, do make me feel sexy...and I thank you for that.

Like many of you here, I am a BBW. I love my curves! LOL LOL It is something that I don't hide whether on my facebook page or anywhere else. I live in NW Florida, in an area that is mainly military men. I work around them every day. I have confedence in myself most days, but it will take a hit when comments are made behind my back while walking thru my office building or a NEX area on base.

When it takes the biggest hit is when you find someone that you enjoy talking to and shows interest in you, but you then find out that they are only interested in wanting you to be their "Closet interest" not someone they are wanting to tell their friends or family about OR you find out later that they are married!!! They just want someone that they can call and get a booty call from and then hide you away again.

Anyone else ever had that problem?

 

[kaycee217]

Like many of you here, I am a BBW. I love my curves! LOL LOL It is something that I don't hide whether on my facebook page or anywhere else. I live in NW Florida, in an area that is mainly military men. I work around them every day. I have confedence in myself most days, but it will take a hit when comments are made behind my back while walking thru my office building or a NEX area on base.

When it takes the biggest hit is when you find someone that you enjoy talking to and shows interest in you, but you then find out that they are only interested in wanting you to be their "Closet interest" not someone they are wanting to tell their friends or family about OR you find out later that they are married!!! They just want someone that they can call and get a booty call from and then hide you away again.

Anyone else ever had that problem?

I've never had that problem, but I've seen it happen.

 

[smoochmycooch]

Like many of you here, I am a BBW. I love my curves! LOL LOL It is something that I don't hide whether on my facebook page or anywhere else. I live in NW Florida, in an area that is mainly military men. I work around them every day. I have confedence in myself most days, but it will take a hit when comments are made behind my back while walking thru my office building or a NEX area on base.

When it takes the biggest hit is when you find someone that you enjoy talking to and shows interest in you, but you then find out that they are only interested in wanting you to be their "Closet interest" not someone they are wanting to tell their friends or family about OR you find out later that they are married!!! They just want someone that they can call and get a booty call from and then hide you away again.

Anyone else ever had that problem?

Yup, been there myself. I guess I've learned not to take any potential 'relationship' too seriously anymore because of that. I'll just use them right back like the little toy they are ~

 

[craig30]

Like many of you here, I am a BBW. I love my curves! LOL LOL It is something that I don't hide whether on my facebook page or anywhere else. I live in NW Florida, in an area that is mainly military men. I work around them every day. I have confedence in myself most days, but it will take a hit when comments are made behind my back while walking thru my office building or a NEX area on base.

When it takes the biggest hit is when you find someone that you enjoy talking to and shows interest in you, but you then find out that they are only interested in wanting you to be their "Closet interest" not someone they are wanting to tell their friends or family about OR you find out later that they are married!!! They just want someone that they can call and get a booty call from and then hide you away again.

Anyone else ever had that problem?

I am sorry that happens to you and everybody that it happens too. It happens to me too. I know when I walk around places you see people give a glance and then say something and you know for a fact they are talking about you. People are just assholes unfortunately. I am a guy by the way. I also have the problem where I am always the friend too. So I do feel your pain.

By the way nice to meet you also. Also kinds of nice ladies posting in this thread today. I see your Florida also. I don't see many Florida really. Maybe we could chat some time.

 

[Fsupeach]

I am sorry that happens to you and everybody that it happens too. It happens to me too. I know when I walk around places you see people give a glance and then say something and you know for a fact they are talking about you. People are just assholes unfortunately. I am a guy by the way. I also have the problem where I am always the friend too. So I do feel your pain.

By the way nice to meet you also. Also kinds of nice ladies posting in this thread today. I see your Florida also. I don't see many Florida really. Maybe we could chat some time.

Yea, the friend thing does suck! LOL LOL I have been there and I am still doing that. I would love chat sometime...Im on yahoo and facebook. Just let me know.

I know that there are a few south Florida people running around here, but not many up here in the panhandle. We are expecting snow tomorrow too!!!

Its nice to meet you too

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Like many of you here, I am a BBW. I love my curves! LOL LOL It is something that I don't hide whether on my facebook page or anywhere else. I live in NW Florida, in an area that is mainly military men. I work around them every day. I have confedence in myself most days, but it will take a hit when comments are made behind my back while walking thru my office building or a NEX area on base.

When it takes the biggest hit is when you find someone that you enjoy talking to and shows interest in you, but you then find out that they are only interested in wanting you to be their "Closet interest" not someone they are wanting to tell their friends or family about OR you find out later that they are married!!! They just want someone that they can call and get a booty call from and then hide you away again.

Anyone else ever had that problem?

I have no problem with booty calls.

 

[craig30]

Yup, been there myself. I guess I've learned not to take any potential 'relationship' too seriously anymore because of that. I'll just use them right back like the little toy they are ~

Thats a plan. I feel the need to apologize on behalf of all asshole men. Love your name by the way.

 

[craig30]

Yea, the friend thing does suck! LOL LOL I have been there and I am still doing that. I would love chat sometime...Im on yahoo and facebook. Just let me know.

I know that there are a few south Florida people running around here, but not many up here in the panhandle. We are expecting snow tomorrow too!!!

Its nice to meet you too

Snow wow you need to come down here to the warm area. LOL Yeah I on yahoo and facebook too. Yeah but not a lot of people. For as big as our state is not a whole lot of peeps. Cool also about wanted to chat.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Damn this cell phone I can't quote on it when I post....


And So? I'll just have to rely on the pond keeping my bum safe

Oh and I can't answer your IM but I know its there

I hardly think that 84 billion cubic miles of cold salty water will save your ass from me.

 

[Scarlett_GA]

Years and years and years of hearing the opposite of how you feel, that's why. I just turned 37 and have more or less been overweight to some degree all of my life. So for 30+ years I've been made fun of, overlooked, ignored, sneered at, laughed at, you name it. I get the "you have such a pretty face" comment, or as far as men and relationships go, often fall into the "friend" category. I have always had more male friends than females, and I feel very confident they really like who I am. They just can't get over the physical aspect.

So when you deal with that all of your life, it completely makes you question the sincerity of someone who really claims to like you for you. You are always looking for an ulterior motive. That's the direct result of self-esteem issues generated by being treated a certain way in our society... for a lifetime (in my case).

Now, not every BBW has been dealing with it her whole life. Perhaps they have more confidence since they haven't been beaten down for years. But the repeated rejection wears on you. It has worn on me. And yes, I struggle with really trusting whether someone honestly likes me. I hate it. I wish I didn't feel that way, truly I do.

Sorry for the downer post, but you asked! And unfortunately I'm just in a really bad spot right now precisely because of this whole issue. Mentally it's just exhausting sometimes.

 

[AquaStarryNight]

I don't have all that much to say that hasn't been said already, but I wanted to reply anyway.

I've been overweight all of my life, but since I'm not big enough to be considered a BBW, I find that I'm stuck in a no-man's-land between average-sized women and big beautiful women. Not only is this annoying because I can *never* find clothes to fit me (the regular XL is usually too small in the chest area, and the 1x is too big in the stomach area), it sucks because men who love big women aren't interested in me, and neither are men who love smaller women.

I have always had self-confidence issues as far back as I remember, and I honestly can't count the number of times I've made some self-deprecating comment in response to some man telling me that something about me is attractive. This is because socialization runs very, very deep...it's extremely difficult to get past. I still struggle with it. The best advice I can give is to be really firm about telling the woman that you find attractive that you think she's hot. A few years ago, I dated someone who wouldn't let me get away with negative comments about myself, made me acknowledge his comment, and insisted that I reply with a simple "thank you." That approach has helped me a great deal.

 

[Guest]

Being an avid BBW admirer, I dont understand why women are so touchy about their Weight/Size if a man says he likes her? I have met many women in bars and out on the streets who i will tell straight up that i love a bigger woman, and to me soze is not an issue. But once we start talking and getting closer, she usually tends to say "Oh I wish i was smaller" or "please dont turn the light on, i Dont want you to see my body naked!" That is the whole reason i am there, i love your body and i want to make love to you and feel that body against me, why can't they understand that? and I tell them that and they say "Oh your just saying that to get a piece of ass"..... WHY DO BBW WOMEN DO THIS?

probably because there's a ratio 40 BBWs to 1 man that would actually come up to one of them and tell them they like them that way. I know personally that NO man has ever come up to me and told me that i'm beautiful. When you're on a message board like this its easier to let your guards down because you're reading people's thoughts, you get to know a lot of them by their thoughts and personality first. its easier to believe a man that already states in front of everyone that he loves a big woman. IMHO.


Edit: It just came back to me that many years ago this guy that flirted with me and constantly tried to get me to give him oral was talking to me one day and told me that he'd like to have sex but he could never go out with me because i was not his type of girl. So thank assholes like him for a lot of our insecurities.


edit 2: I also work at a call center

 

[amberlily]

Why?

Because society tends to beat us with a stick with the idea that there is something "wrong" with us because of our size! Sad, but oh so true. When we get beaten down with that message coming from so many directions all our lives, it makes it difficult to not only have a healthy body image, but also to believe anyone that tells us differently.

A wonderful gentleman could come our way and tell us that we are the most beautiful creature he's ever met....and while we want to believe him & part of us might...it is rare that we truly and completely believe that he's being honest with us.

Am I confident...yes. The older I get, the more I know who I am and the more I own that. I know I am intelligent, witty, fun, sweet, sensitive, and yes, sexy!

Am I insecure...also yes. I've been overweight since my teens, so 15+ years of teasing, put-downs, exclusions, and rejections is difficult to overcome.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[kaycee217]

I don't have all that much to say that hasn't been said already, but I wanted to reply anyway.

I've been overweight all of my life, but since I'm not big enough to be considered a BBW, I find that I'm stuck in a no-man's-land between average-sized women and big beautiful women. Not only is this annoying because I can *never* find clothes to fit me (the regular XL is usually too small in the chest area, and the 1x is too big in the stomach area), it sucks because men who love big women aren't interested in me, and neither are men who love smaller women.

I have always had self-confidence issues as far back as I remember, and I honestly can't count the number of times I've made some self-deprecating comment in response to some man telling me that something about me is attractive. This is because socialization runs very, very deep...it's extremely difficult to get past. I still struggle with it. The best advice I can give is to be really firm about telling the woman that you find attractive that you think she's hot. A few years ago, I dated someone who wouldn't let me get away with negative comments about myself, made me acknowledge his comment, and insisted that I reply with a simple "thank you." That approach has helped me a great deal.

I've never heard of that happening.

I bet you attract more men than you think, though.

 

[ELisabeth85]

i am a bigger girl myself, i dont think i fall into the BBW category like the other girl said i am in no mans land. But i have been thick and then thin and when i had my babies i became thick again. The problem with confidence is that when you have been made fun of all your life and had cruel things done to you, your trust and self confidence levels are at an all time low.

On here we dont fear what people say because most of the comments are embracing not cruel. Nobody makes fun of you because you want to feel sexy, no one redicules you here because you are not what "society" or a stupid BMI chart says is right. Here you can almost heal old wounds.

 

[amberlily]

i am a bigger girl myself, i dont think i fall into the BBW category like the other girl said i am in no mans land. But i have been thick and then thin and when i had my babies i became thick again. The problem with confidence is that when you have been made fun of all your life and had cruel things done to you, your trust and self confidence levels are at an all time low.

On here we dont fear what people say because most of the comments are embracing not cruel. Nobody makes fun of you because you want to feel sexy, no one redicules you here because you are not what "society" or a stupid BMI chart says is right. Here you can almost heal old wounds.

Well said!! I love coming to the Lit boards for that very reason...the feeling of being embraced & accepted as I am & even celebrated for it!

 

[Guest]

I don't have all that much to say that hasn't been said already, but I wanted to reply anyway.

I've been overweight all of my life, but since I'm not big enough to be considered a BBW, I find that I'm stuck in a no-man's-land between average-sized women and big beautiful women. Not only is this annoying because I can *never* find clothes to fit me (the regular XL is usually too small in the chest area, and the 1x is too big in the stomach area), it sucks because men who love big women aren't interested in me, and neither are men who love smaller women.

I have always had self-confidence issues as far back as I remember, and I honestly can't count the number of times I've made some self-deprecating comment in response to some man telling me that something about me is attractive. This is because socialization runs very, very deep...it's extremely difficult to get past. I still struggle with it. The best advice I can give is to be really firm about telling the woman that you find attractive that you think she's hot. A few years ago, I dated someone who wouldn't let me get away with negative comments about myself, made me acknowledge his comment, and insisted that I reply with a simple "thank you." That approach has helped me a great deal.

I actually can relate to this completely. The clothes thing made me giggle to myself. I used to find good clothes at aeropostale and now they don't fit, then moved to old navy and was generally happy with what I could find. Then I started shopping at torrid and while I still get the smaller size at Torrid, sometimes its too big, and I dont know wth is going on.

 

[ELisabeth85]

Well said!! I love coming to the Lit boards for that very reason...the feeling of being embraced & accepted as I am & even celebrated for it!

Thank you! Its so very true though because even though we are long past highschool and it is supposed to behind us, there is a lot of highschool out in the real world sad to say and here its a community where you can find everything and anything and we are at long last included in it

 

[dchockeyman]

To all of the BBWs out there--I think I speak for most every man here when I say I want each and every one of you

I think the main point is that, no matter what, as guys we need to be confident towards our BBWs when talking to them and expressing our interest. We also need to make sure all of you know just how beautiful, sexy and sensuous you are.

 

[ELisabeth85]

To all of the BBWs out there--I think I speak for most every man here when I say I want each and every one of you

I think the main point is that, no matter what, as guys we need to be confident towards our BBWs when talking to them and expressing our interest. We also need to make sure all of you know just how beautiful, sexy and sensuous you are.

Want to hear something really weird, a lot of hockey guys actually dig bigger women not just the carrie underwoods out there

 

[amberlily]

Thank you! Its so very true though because even though we are long past highschool and it is supposed to behind us, there is a lot of highschool out in the real world sad to say and here its a community where you can find everything and anything and we are at long last included in it

If only the real world were like Lit!! I'd be beating guys off with sticks!!!

If only *sighs*

 

[amberlily]

To all of the BBWs out there--I think I speak for most every man here when I say I want each and every one of you

I think the main point is that, no matter what, as guys we need to be confident towards our BBWs when talking to them and expressing our interest. We also need to make sure all of you know just how beautiful, sexy and sensuous you are.

i thank you for that! hugs*

Want to hear something really weird, a lot of hockey guys actually dig bigger women not just the carrie underwoods out there

really??? hmmmm...i should start going to hockey games

 

[dchockeyman]

i thank you for that! hugs*



really??? hmmmm...i should start going to hockey games

i've got an extra ticket...