Worst Song Ever

I love Gordon Lightfoot but The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald was played so often over and over by every radio station in WNY that I can't stand it. Later I was a docent (train operator/guide) at the Colorado Model Railroad Museum and we had a model named the Edmund Fitzgerald sitting next to an ore dock so I'd explain how the ore dock works and someone would mention that song. Ugh.
That happens to most musicians; they wind up with a couple of signature songs that get played to death and may not even be their best work. People on average prefer the familiar. If the crowd starts cheering when the song starts, that's a good sign that it's been overexposed.
 
I love Gordon Lightfoot but The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald was played so often over and over by every radio station in WNY that I can't stand it. Later I was a docent (train operator/guide) at the Colorado Model Railroad Museum and we had a model named the Edmund Fitzgerald sitting next to an ore dock so I'd explain how the ore dock works and someone would mention that song. Ugh.

I do like the lyrics of the song, but that twangy accent he does specifically for that song really pangs my ears.

I was a wedding DJ for over 20 years.

I've had to play some of the worst crap of all time, repeatedly.

At the height of the craze, I'd wind up playing the Macarena three times a night.

Not because I wanted to, but because of crowd demand.

Still, I've come to appreciate some songs for what they are; catchy, brainless little pop diddies that get people shaking their asses on the dance floor and having a good time.

Nothing wrong with that.

There are some now, though, GOOD songs even, I can no longer listen to, simply because I played them too many fucking times.

And of course there are plenty I'm thankful I never have to hear ever again.

How many Cotton Eye Joes did they make you play at weddings? That one's my nomination for worst wedding dance song. But I was from the part of the world where it was ubiquitous at every social function.

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from, where did you go?
Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?
(Repeat 1000 times)
 
A reference to "a roll in the hay," among other things? So he's got twenty acres and she's got forty-three? A reference to body sizes?

The joke here is that it's not a metaphor.

Everybody's familiar with songs that pretend to be about something else but are full of sexual innuendo:

She was holdin' a pair, but I had to try
Her deuce was wild, but my ace was high
But how was I to know that she'd been dealt with before?
Said she'd never had a full house, but I should've known...

"Combine Harvester" begins sounding like it's about sex ("I drove my tractor through your haystack last night" is pretty heavy-handed, "Come on now darling you've got something I need") but it turns out the sex is a cover for something else:

And you know I'll love you darlin'
So give me your hand
But what I want the most
Is all they acres of land

("they" here is Somerset dialect; I'm not certain whether I should be translating it as "thy" = "your", or "those", but it doesn't really matter here)

He's a farmer, and where another man might be focussing on the sex here, his priority is getting hold of more farmland.
 
Later I was a docent (train operator/guide) at the Colorado Model Railroad Museum and we had a model named the Edmund Fitzgerald sitting next to an ore dock so I'd explain how the ore dock works and someone would mention that song. Ugh.

Have you written any erotic stories about a model railroad club? That would be cool.

I thought of another shit song: God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood. Fucking pandering piece of shit. “Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s do a half-assed sappy patriotic song. Nobody will say it sucks because that’s like unAmerican!” What an asshole.
 
I thought of another shit song: God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood. Fucking pandering piece of shit. “Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s do a half-assed sappy patriotic song. Nobody will say it sucks because that’s like unAmerican!” What an asshole.

I had to play that fucking song all the time after 9/11.

And you're absolutely right. If you talk shit about it, you must be some pinko commie or something.
 
I do like the lyrics of the song, but that twangy accent he does specifically for that song really pangs my ears.
Ummm... that's the way we talk on the lakes.

I thought of another shit song: God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood. Fucking pandering piece of shit
I was assigned to the 80th Fighter Squadron Headhunters, of the 8th Fighter Wing Wolfpack. When Kim Il Sung died North Korea went crazy and started advancing on the DMZ, I remember a few mornings wondering if that was the last sunrise I'd ever see. We were on full alert the whole time North Korea was in a national panic, we flew non-stop, beating those ancient "Lawn Darts" (F-16s) into the ground, busting our ass to keep them in the air, 12 to 18 hour shifts day after day. We had one unit of Patriot missiles for defense, those guys moved those missiles from one side of the base to the other damn near every night and they used dump trucks to fill the empty slots with the beds up to look like Patriot Missile launchers.

Finally when North Korea backed off and the command staff called an end to the alert condition they played God Bless the USA over the base loud speaker. The most beautiful sound we ever heard. We were dropping in place from exhaustion, but a few Army units and 2 USAF wings stood down the North Koreans. You're entitled to your own opinion, but you weren't there. I suppose if you've risked nothing, you've gained nothing
 
Ummm... that's the way we talk on the lakes.


I was assigned to the 80th Fighter Squadron Headhunters, of the 8th Fighter Wing Wolfpack. When Kim Il Sung died North Korea went crazy and started advancing on the DMZ, I remember a few mornings wondering if that was the last sunrise I'd ever see. We were on full alert the whole time North Korea was in a national panic, we flew non-stop, beating those ancient "Lawn Darts" (F-16s) into the ground, busting our ass to keep them in the air, 12 to 18 hour shifts day after day. We had one unit of Patriot missiles for defense, those guys moved those missiles from one side of the base to the other damn near every night and they used dump trucks to fill the empty slots with the beds up to look like Patriot Missile launchers.

Finally when North Korea backed off and the command staff called an end to the alert condition they played God Bless the USA over the base loud speaker. The most beautiful sound we ever heard. We were dropping in place from exhaustion, but a few Army units and 2 USAF wings stood down the North Koreans. You're entitled to your own opinion, but you weren't there. I suppose if you've risked nothing, you've gained nothing

Thank you for your service.

And I in no way mean to dishonor it by not liking the song.

You can be proud to be an American, and still have different tastes in music. 😀 🇺🇸
 
Ummm... that's the way we talk on the lakes.
It was more about the contrast to his other songs that annoyed me. It was clear how much he was exaggerating that twangy accent. It just sounded so fake to my ears. Such a stark contrast compared to one of my favorite songs, Sundown, or his sappy lovey dovey ones like If You Could Read My Mind.
 
I was a wedding DJ for over 20 years.

I've had to play some of the worst crap of all time, repeatedly.

At the height of the craze, I'd wind up playing the Macarena three times a night.

Not because I wanted to, but because of crowd demand.

Still, I've come to appreciate some songs for what they are; catchy, brainless little pop diddies that get people shaking their asses on the dance floor and having a good time.

Nothing wrong with that.

There are some now, though, GOOD songs even, I can no longer listen to, simply because I played them too many fucking times.

And of course there are plenty I'm thankful I never have to hear ever again.
The Chicken Dance has got to be the worst wedding song. You must have gotten sick of playing that one, too.
 
I'll agree, on all fronts.

But the absolute worst shit band name has got to be The The.

Did they actually think they were being CLEVER with that name?

Or were they just stumped at the band meeting?

"What should we call ourselves?"

"Um...The...The..."

"Brilliant! Let's go with that!"

"But ...but..."

"Nah, The The is better. I'm sold."

"No, really, I wasn't sugges..."

"Too late! We voted! The The it is! Now, off to the pub!"
Horrible name for sure. I heard one of their songs a while ago, and I am ambivalent. Profound or silly? Well, they have a guy with an accordion, that is for sure. I think they were trying for satire with their name (a lot of modern bands have bad names if you think about it) but it mostly fell flat.

 
I was a wedding DJ for over 20 years.

I've had to play some of the worst crap of all time, repeatedly.

At the height of the craze, I'd wind up playing the Macarena three times a night.

Not because I wanted to, but because of crowd demand.

Still, I've come to appreciate some songs for what they are; catchy, brainless little pop diddies that get people shaking their asses on the dance floor and having a good time.

Nothing wrong with that.

There are some now, though, GOOD songs even, I can no longer listen to, simply because I played them too many fucking times.

And of course there are plenty I'm thankful I never have to hear ever again.

A few years back, a couple of my friends got married. At the reception they gave us a list of songs that don't belong at a wedding, or that are horribly overplayed. Every Breath You Take, November Rain... as a wedding DJ you could probably guess the rest of the list better than I can remember it.

The deal was, every time one of those songs started playing, our job was to start booing and shout it down until the DJ stopped. Every time it happened, they had a prize for the person who was quickest off the mark. I loved that game so much.
 
I'll agree, on all fronts.

But the absolute worst shit band name has got to be The The.

Did they actually think they were being CLEVER with that name?

Or were they just stumped at the band meeting?

There's a German band I'm fond of called "And One", and the name makes it really hard to search for their music/gigs/etc. They started back in the 1980s so probably didn't foresee the importance of having a searchable name, but if it were my band I'd have been very sorely tempted to change it by now.
 
Have you written any erotic stories about a model railroad club? That would be cool.

I thought of another shit song: God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood. Fucking pandering piece of shit. “Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s do a half-assed sappy patriotic song. Nobody will say it sucks because that’s like unAmerican!” What an asshole.
I wrote a story for Geek Pride once about a "docent" at a streetcar museum in Connecticut. It was in the Romance category, so there was heavy petting but the actual sex took place after the story ended. I'll get back on topic with bad songs below.
 
I'm not sure if any non Aussie or Kiwi posters on the board would have ever heard of it, but I would rate the song 'So Beautiful' by Australian singer/songwriter Pete Murray as my worst song of all time. It was played to death by practically every Australian radio station in the mid 2000s following its 2004 release. I find the song a depressing dirge. and hate every second of it with every fibre of my being.

As for the 'so bad they're good' songs, its hard to go past 'Surfing Bird', an early 1960s novelty hit by The Trashmen, which actually got something of a resurgence in the late 2000s thanks to the cartoon 'Family Guy'.
 
Taylor Swift's first big song was a reasonably accurate depiction of adolescent romantic delusions (we've all had them). I think it's understood that the narrator is mostly fooling herself.

But when she made the video: no, it's supposed to be exactly as the narrator wishes it to be, which is virtually impossible as all teen dreams are. This is where De Palma dumped the bucket of pig's blood on her head.

 
I'm not sure if any non Aussie or Kiwi posters on the board would have ever heard of it, but I would rate the song 'So Beautiful' by Australian singer/songwriter Pete Murray as my worst song of all time. It was played to death by practically every Australian radio station in the mid 2000s following its 2004 release. I find the song a depressing dirge. and hate every second of it with every fibre of my being.

As for the 'so bad they're good' songs, its hard to go past 'Surfing Bird', an early 1960s novelty hit by The Trashmen, which actually got something of a resurgence in the late 2000s thanks to the cartoon 'Family Guy'.
It also got a boost by being on the Full Metal Jacket soundtrack. "Woody Bully" is also a strange one. Odd, I don't see "Paint it Black," which filled the entire closing credits.

https://images.45worlds.com/f/cd/va...t-original-motion-picture-soundtrack-2-cd.jpg
 
Still, I've come to appreciate some songs for what they are; catchy, brainless little pop diddies that get people shaking their asses on the dance floor and having a good time.

Nothing wrong with that
Likewise I was never a fan of The Pet Shop Boys version of “ALWAYS ON MY MIND” until I saw them perform it live and it blew me away. Their version, rather than being yet another maudlin tune, instead seems like a recognition of an awesome love. Great version.

Also I was never a fan of the Tom Jones song DELILAH till I needed to use it for a project, and I purposely picked it because I disliked it. Now having heard it so many times I love it and it means a lot to me.
 
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While it is beautifully performed by Carly Simon, I consider the song to be horrible. Every time I hear it, I want to kill myself, it is so maudlin - "That's the Way I've Always Heard It Should Be"

My friends from college
They're all married now
They have their houses and their lawns
They have their silent noons
Tearful nights, angry dawns

Their children hate them for the things they're not
They hate themselves for what they are
And yet they drink, they laugh
Close the wound
Hide the scar
 
Pet Shop Boys were another band named in a hurry when they were offered a contract. What shall we call ourselves? Well, we're two boys in a room above a pet shop...

I have to admit I love Never been to Me - it's basically saying yeah, your life's been shit, but don't envy me because I may have been to fancy places but I've had to hide my own personality and feelings to do it, and never got to have a child. Which makes it work in Priscilla, when the singer does get to become themselves.

But then I don't pretend to have highbrow tastes in music - I like the Macarena and the Chicken Song, but I do draw the line at the Birdie Song, which has thankfully died out even at weddings. Give me Come on Eileen, Poison, Boys & Girls and It's a Sin, and similar belters, any day.
 
Licensed for the movie, not the soundtrack album, I'd say.
Thanks, I didn't realize that there could be a distinction between the two. I like how the credits and song are timed together. Probably credits were shorter in 1987. Nowadays, they seem to need two songs for it. Not that anybody but a few watch closing credits at all, at least in a theater. :unsure:
 
Lol. More times than I'd ever care to count.

There was at least a pretty catchy techno remix version that didn't drive me too insane, and I could easily mix out of it into another song.
I haven't found the techno version, but the one by The Rednex is pretty bad. "The Rednex;" like much of popular culture (I've been immersed in it my whole life), the line between clever and stupid is rather fuzzy.

Speaking of weddings:

 
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