Worst Song Ever

[gunhilltrain]

Funny thing is I love LOADS of cheesy pop songs that others might (and do) consider garbage, like MMMBOP, Roar, You make me feel like dancing and Shake it Off!

Whenever I feel bad about my tastes, I always think of this…

What is MMMBOP?

 

[Kumquatqueen]

What is MMMBOP?

Mmm Bop by Hanson. Though you really are better off not knowing.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Mmm Bop by Hanson. Though you really are better off not knowing.

Agree to disagree (I’m turning this one to ELEVEN!)

 

[gunhilltrain]

Billy Joel’s story about PIANO MAN reminds me of Radiohead and CREEP. The song was written about feelings of inadequacy in a relationship when Yorke was younger and so he hates playing it.

They didn’t play it for years till somekind of outage or issue occurred on tour left them crippled so they added it on that show as it was something they could play in spite of the issues

"Creep" is almost duplicated by "Teenage Dirtbag" (Wheatus, whoever they are). I'm sure that those guys really felt that way once (maybe most of us did), but still . . . As an adult, I feel like telling these guys, "You don't have to make a fetish out of it, but have some perspective. These ladies go to the bathroom just like you do."

 

[Emilymcplugger]

"Creep" is almost duplicated by "Teenage Dirtbag" (Wheatus, whoever they are). I'm sure that those guys really felt that way once (maybe most of us did), but still . . . As an adult, I feel like telling these guys, "You don't have to make a fetish out of it, but have some perspective. These ladies go to the bathroom just like you do."

Seemingly they agreed with you and hated playing that song, even though audiences loved it. I think it resonates because even now we all can relate to not feeling worthy of someone and it affecting us in such a negative way.

 

[gunhilltrain]

What happened to those guys?

I wonder why we waste our lives here
When we could run away to paradise
But I am held in some invisible vice
And I can't get away.

You live there because, in the 1980's, that's where the jobs and money were. (Isn't that one of the themes of the movie?) Nowadays, "paradise" is New Mexico or Montana or some other place that is skeptical of Californians moving in.

Tupac Shakur had a song with the exact same title (I assume he was reacting to the original), and he was more honest about it all.

To live and die in L.A
Where everyday we try to fatten our pockets
Us n_____ hustle for the cash, so it's hard to knock it
Everybody got they own thing, currency chasin'
Worldwide through the hard times, worrying faces.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Seemingly they agreed with you and hated playing that song, even though audiences loved it. I think it resonates because even now we all can relate to not feeling worthy of someone and it affecting us in such a negative way.

That's an issue with pop music and much of pop culture: if often lacks subtlety. Even though the band turned against their own work, the audiences still loved it. How old were most of the people in those audiences? I'm guessing that most of them were still young enough that such emotions still resonated with them. (Not that there is anything wrong with being young!)

 

[NoTalentHack]

Got me. I guess I should have said 'a writer' not 'the writer' because in my head I'd moved on from The Police example. There are plenty examples of lyrics that reflect badly on the time, culture and writer. If they were Sting's words then I hope he's moved on. Someone mentioned a Stones song that they subsequently dropped from their sets because it aged badly.
Thicke had no such excuse

Sting knew he was writing a stalker song. He’s always said it wasn’t meant to be romantic, nor were several others of both the Police and his solo content that people took that way.

 

[gunhilltrain]

"Living Next Door To Alice" fits into that category too:



At least the traditional audience response vastly improves that one.

So what's wrong with this other one, that Sally person who has his phone number? "Smokie" had a chance for a plausible but reasonably happy ending, but he doesn't follow-through on it. Also, in the video I saw, "the girl next door" image is of some glamorous lady. It's probably from Getty Images or some other place that will sell you a picture of just about anything if you pay for it.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Sting knew he was writing a stalker song. He’s always said it wasn’t meant to be romantic, nor were several others of both the Police and his solo content that people took that way.

"Artists" (is Sting one?) will often mean one thing but the audience may interpret it differently. That often happens in "lowest common denominator" settings like arena concerts (or movie theaters?) It can be hard to describe or depict things like stalkers, serial killers, or even war without glamorizing them or simply making them seem appealing. There are many examples I won't get into here.

A few have described what it's like to be the target of a stalker. When Sarah McLachlan wrote "Possession," her stalker sued her for using content from his letters to her in the song's lyrics. (She may have done some of that.) The lawsuit went nowhere when the guy admitted he had cooked up his plot just to see her in the courtroom. (There have been other incidents like that.) Then he killed himself, solving the problem for everyone.

 

[MetaBob]

... Also, in the video I saw, "the girl next door" image is of some glamorous lady. It's probably from Getty Images or some other place that will sell you a picture of just about anything if you pay for it.

That image is of Elisha Cuthbert, the actress. That still is taken from her film The Girl Next Door, where she plays an ex-pornstar who is trying to return to a more-or-less normal existence. The younger boy next door sees her and likes her, then learns of her past. Conflicted romance ensues.

 

[Winter_Fare]

Time gentlemen please...

 

[gunhilltrain]

That image is of Elisha Cuthbert, the actress. That still is taken from her film The Girl Next Door, where she plays an ex-pornstar who is trying to return to a more-or-less normal existence. The younger boy next door sees her and likes her, then learns of her past. Conflicted romance ensues.

Thank you, I never would have guessed that. In fact, I had no idea what Elisha Cuthbert looked like. "A teenager's dreams come true when a former porn star moves in next door and they fall in love." Hasn't that been in Story Ideas a few times? I've done the younger guy-older woman trope too, but usually the ladies are something like teachers or real estate agents.

Cuthbert now has two children, Zaphire and Phaneuf. I'm not sure Hollywood has been good for her.

 

[Voboy]

Dominick, The Donkey (The Italian Christmas Donkey)

It might be the worst thing ever created by any human. I refuse to post a link to it.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Time gentlemen please...

We have a weiner, and boy, what a fucking weiner that is.

Total and utter shit. Worst song, ever. Makes the Wurzels look like Bob Fucking Dylan!

 

[Kumquatqueen]

We have a weiner, and boy, what a fucking weiner that is.

Total and utter shit. Worst song, ever. Makes the Wurzels look like Bob Fucking Dylan!

Mr Blobby: causing more children's nightmares than any TV character since Noseybonk.

 

[Bodington]

Feliz navidad
Feliz navidad
Feliz navidad
Prospero año y felicidad

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart

The above is the repetitive lyrics of “Feliz Navidad” recorded by José Feliciano in 1970. I’ve always hated this song because I suspected the crass and crude way the song must have come into existence. Feliciano was a very popular singer in the 1960s. So, I imagined his agents suggested that he do a Christmas song for the season. Well thought he, as his mother tongue was Spanish the standard greeting is Feliz Navidad and combine it with wishing a prosperous new year. Vary that sentiment in English and repeat such greetings enough times to fulfill three minutes of playing time and lo and behold you have a Christmas song. Easy peasy.

 

[Bramblethorn]

"Artists" (is Sting one?) will often mean one thing but the audience may interpret it differently. That often happens in "lowest common denominator" settings like arena concerts (or movie theaters?) It can be hard to describe or depict things like stalkers, serial killers, or even war without glamorizing them or simply making them seem appealing. There are many examples I won't get into here.

Springsteen's "Born in the USA". Became a jingoistic anthem for people who never read the lyrics.

So what's wrong with this other one, that Sally person who has his phone number? "Smokie" had a chance for a plausible but reasonably happy ending, but he doesn't follow-through on it.

I think you're asking why he doesn't want her, but I'm concerned about her spending her own 24 years pining after this guy who really doesn't sound like a great catch!

 

[gunhilltrain]

Springsteen's "Born in the USA". Became a jingoistic anthem for people who never read the lyrics.


I think you're asking why he doesn't want her, but I'm concerned about her spending her own 24 years pining after this guy who really doesn't sound like a great catch!

I was going to mention Born in The USA, as a song that went far beyond it's creator's intentions and became something else. The lyrics are pretty good but the song is a bit bombastic and that, plus the title, caused it to be misinterpreted. Didn't a car company want to use it once?

I don't want to argue that romantic angst can't be a subject for a song (don't we use it here in Literotica?) but sometimes, as in Living Next Door to Alice, the songwriters seem to be crossing over into self-pity (even if they are talking about something long ago). I'm not sure what is going on in that one, because he emphasizes the lost twenty-four years, seems to find a solution, and then immediately drops it. Maybe that was the point he was trying to make, but is he ("Smokie") really that perceptive?

Sally seems to think he is a passable catch, but I wonder what she is like and what she has been doing during all those years.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Time gentlemen please...

It looks like the back-up musicians are considering suicide. I think the many kids are just happy to be in a video of any kind. It's also notable how they got in a couple of seconds of the Tacoma-Narrows Bridge collapse. At least no one died in that disaster.

 

[Winter_Fare]

It looks like the back-up musicians are considering suicide. I think the many kids are just happy to be in a video of any kind. It's also notable how they got in a couple of seconds of the Tacoma-Narrows Bridge collapse. At least no one died in that disaster.

This was the Christmas number 2 that year...
Equally dismal.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Teenage Dirtbag (that kind of self-loathing requires psychiatric intervention)

Not entirely my favourite genre, but I'm going to have to come in to bat for this song.

This isn't really a stalker song. She's in his gym class. He likes her. She's dating someone else. He doesn't do anything, not least of all because the boyfriend is a psychotic bully.

Then in the final verse, not only does he get the girl but it turns out that she's also embraced teenage dirtbaggery herself (a term which is not really defined in the song except that it involves Iron Maiden somehow)

Plus the song is clearly a tongue-in-cheek look at social stratification in high school.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Not entirely my favourite genre, but I'm going to have to come in to bat for this song.

This isn't really a stalker song. She's in his gym class. He likes her. She's dating someone else. He doesn't do anything, not least of all because the boyfriend is a psychotic bully.

Then in the final verse, not only does he get the girl but it turns out that she's also embraced teenage dirtbaggery herself (a term which is not really defined in the song except that it involves Iron Maiden somehow)

Plus the song is clearly a tongue-in-cheek look at social stratification in high school.

I do get it. Maybe it's my fault. My 50th high school reunion was this month - no, I didn't go. So while I remember it, it's hard for me to have any emotional connections to it any longer. Sorry, younger generations; it's just become moot. The guys in Wheatus look like they were in their twenties at that point, so for them is was still fresh in their minds.

I do wonder if those last scenes (Iron Maiden, the prom) are just fantasies in the mind of the protagonist. But it's just a music video, so almost by definition it's all a fantasy. Not that I have anything against fantasies. I write some myself.

 

[Britva415]

that story doesn't end with a chuckle over Pina Coladas.

It ends with divorce papers.

This song is usually interpreted as ending "upbeat," with a reconciliation/re-igniting of their romance.

Nothing in it suggests divorce or any sense of betrayal, other than how maybe the mention of "red tape" could be construed to mean paperwork... of some type. The rest of it makes it sound like they're tickled to rediscover each other and keep on keeping on together.

 

[Britva415]

A song which didn't start out bad (I didn't like it a lot in the first place, but that's just a matter of taste) but which has been completely ruined for me is "Never Tear Us Apart."

INXS performed it live on the air from KFOG's studio in mid 1997. It was squicky how bad it was. The singer sounded like he couldn't give a fuck if they got tore apart or whatever, and that singing about it was beyond anything he could muster up any interest in doing with any level of enthusiasm, sincerity or showmanship.

I was utterly unsurprised when less than six months later he was dead by suicide. I had already told people that that performance was either a cry for help or just a big fuck-it to everything to do with life.