Why do you choose to be a sub?

[HottieOlwen]

I honestly don't think submissive people choose to be that way, any more than, for example, I 'choose' to be a woman, or bi-sexual. It's in my DNA, it's who I am. I hope this doesn't sound flippant? But it's the best answer I can come up with.

 

[Hipshot1554]

I honestly don't think submissive people choose to be that way, any more than, for example, I 'choose' to be a woman, or bi-sexual. It's in my DNA, it's who I am. I hope this doesn't sound flippant? But it's the best answer I can come up with.

Couldn't it also be a discovery, like many things in life?

 

[HottieOlwen]

Couldn't it also be a discovery, like many things in life?

Of course. Life is a learning curve, but I don't believe you can 'make' someone submissive if the tendency isn't there in the first place. Over the course of my lifetime, I have 'discovered' that I enjoy sex with both women and men. I didn't think as a teenager that I was going to teach myself to have sex with another woman. The opportunity came about, and I took it. No one taught me. Likewise when I first had sex with a man. I discovered that I liked it. My very good friend is a GP, and like me, she's a Hot Wife. I think she's as hot as hell, and I'd love to have sex with her. But she says she finds lesbian sex a big turn off. I could no more make her like eating my cunt than I could fly to the moon!

 

[Hipshot1554]

Of course. Life is a learning curve, but I don't believe you can 'make' someone submissive if the tendency isn't there in the first place. Over the course of my lifetime, I have 'discovered' that I enjoy sex with both women and men. I didn't think as a teenager that I was going to teach myself to have sex with another woman. The opportunity came about, and I took it. No one taught me. Likewise when I first had sex with a man. I discovered that I liked it. My very good friend is a GP, and like me, she's a Hot Wife. I think she's as hot as hell, and I'd love to have sex with her. But she says she finds lesbian sex a big turn off. I could no more make her like eating my cunt than I could fly to the moon!

I agree totally, I do know that the right partner can sometimes bring out things that someone might not even be aware of.

 

[Hipshot1554]

I agree totally, I do know that the right partner can sometimes bring out things that someone might not even be aware of.

I should have added that this can work both ways...

 

[KaitlynW1993]

For me its a deep seeded feeling i had since i was in high school.
So felt natural to me. Plus f i attached anything erotic and involved a sub female i become more interested and envy of the female.

 

[Hipshot1554]

Having been raised to always be a gentleman, it took a woman wanting to have her limits pushed to open my eyes the enjoyment of helping her accomplish some of this.

 

[Kristal_1976]

Its what turns me on, drives me wild, gets me off. Its where my mind wanders when I'm off doing other things
I should be concentrating on.

 

[Nina]

I never felt like it was a choice, it’s just what has always been natural to me. In the few instances I tried being more dominant, it just was not for me.

 

[Bettytheboo]

Like a lot of people here, I would also say that I didn’t choose to be submissive, it’s just my nature. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s as socially acceptable to be submissive as a man as it is for a woman. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s how it feels to me.

It's perfectly acceptable, I am naturally submissive but sometimes a dominant man may submit to me for what ever reason, it could be an injury or that he's tired.
What happens in a bedroom is not the subject of public debate, unless it's part of the experience.
I just love being on top of a big powerful man, literally and metaphorically.

 

[Luv2ReadKinkyStories]

Its what turns me on, drives me wild, gets me off. Its where my mind wanders when I'm off doing other things
I should be concentrating on.

I'm just the opposite.... as much as I would want to be a dominant top, my nature, my fantasies, all run the submissive way...

 

[Dreamliner]

Precisely this. I'm sort of submissive in other aspects of life so this felt very natural to me. What doesn't feel natural is surrendering all my feminist and equality ideas and giving control to a man, but I can't help it.

There is that dichotomy n_p_n, however, how you present in life is not in conflict in how you need to be satisfied with a partner you have confidence in, you can trust. They are all part of who you are.

The ability to fell safe and comfortable in your Dom's arms, as he satisfies your and his needs.

 

[Sappho_CGN]

I am sub only in sex.

I liked it always a bit rough. My kick is something I call it "playing with the tamed tiger". The man is the tiger. He is strong, dominant, intelligent (very important). I love to feel his power and I like the kick to be object of his wishes, his treatment. I am bound, fixed, helpless, blindfolded, do not know what will happen, what the tiger will do. Will he eat me? This is exciting dangerous.

But deep in my brain I know he is tamed, will do only what I love and will not harm me.

 

[KaitlynW1993]

For me its what feels right on a deeper level.

At work Im like anyone else. But sexuallyI'll serve a man. Feels natural and feels like a deep connection to my primal existence and purpose.

 

[ImpishSeraph]

I never chose it. I never realized it until a Dom observed it and spoke to me about it. That was the first I had heard it and thought he was nuts After him, I had several approach me picking up on it. They said it's my mannerism when I asked why they thought so. They new before I did.

 

[roxanne1971]

It is in every part of me- to submit to stronger and more powerful men. I didn’t choose it.

 

[MiaDani80]

I got both the submissive and dominant gene. When I'm feeling submissive, it's a desire to serve, to give up control, to be coddled and loved and used. I feel like giving up control and pushing past my soft limits defines my submissiveness. I just yearn to give myself to my mistress when I'm in a sub role

 

[Trinique_Fire]

I didn't choose the sub life, the sub life chose me.

 

[amigayorbi]

I could be a sub for a top hung older man and also a dom woman, and I love being dom to sissy men and sub women willing to submit.

 

[Yarglenurp]

Objectively, being a male sub sucks donkey balls. If I could choose to not be a sub, I 100% would. Why? Because every woman I’ve ever been with, past and present, has not had a true dom bone in their body. I don’t mean to stereotype, just speaking to purely personal experience. So… no, I’d totally choose to be dom or pure vanilla if I could at all help it.

However, since I can’t redo the circumstances of my existence, I choose to accept and love myself.

 

[eroticspank]

It's perfectly acceptable, I am naturally submissive but sometimes a dominant man may submit to me for what ever reason, it could be an injury or that he's tired.
What happens in a bedroom is not the subject of public debate, unless it's part of the experience.
I just love being on top of a big powerful man, literally and metaphorically.

So you like being on top in the bedroom like the Cowgirl position?

I have been muscular and a powerful man all my life. Women look at me and assume that I am Dominant since I am big and muscular. My job has me in charge so I have the type A personality in public. However, in the bedroom, I have let certain women take control. It was just something they decided to do or discovered during our bedroom play. I found I enjoyed it and became submissive. Most of my fantasies now involve D/s play with me as the sub. I can take on the Dom role if needed but I prefer the sub.
ES

 

[lucy__b]

For me I don't feel it's a choice really, it just feels very natural

 

[hulmule]

For me I don't feel it's a choice really, it just feels very natural

If it feels natural then go with it. I'm a Dom and it feels natural

 

[drobert44]

If it feels natural then go with it. I'm a Dom and it feels natural

I am both, love it all!

 

[youvegottobekidding]

At the risk of upsetting yet another person, that is one experience. Maybe there should be a different word for someone who likes being submissive because it is a break from their general character. Alt-sub, or fake-sub maybe.

Em

I think I understand what you're saying but if I get it wrong don't be angry. I for the most part am the one to be in control
and lead in my everyday life BUT in the bedroom I like to be submissive to my wife and let her take the lead wherever it goes. I've read studies that many men who have been in positions of power/control in business or whatever like the role reversal as it takes the pressure off of them.