A Submissive Dom?

[AlwaysDancing]

In the realm of bondage, control and the many scenes to be had in BDsm, I truly can’t think of a scenario where I would enjoy being submissive.

However, I do have a specific fantasy based on a real life event that I am far from dominant.

I don’t think this makes me a switch … but I might be playing with semantics here. Giving up control (or perhaps for me better said giving in to not being in control) can be passionate and wonderful, too.

Isn’t it great being human? Many splendid experiences and feelings.

 

[Ash999]

In the realm of bondage, control and the many scenes to be had in BDsm, I truly can’t think of a scenario where I would enjoy being submissive.

However, I do have a specific fantasy based on a real life event that I am far from dominant.

I don’t think this makes me a switch … but I might be playing with semantics here. Giving up control (or perhaps for me better said giving in to not being in control) can be passionate and wonderful, too.

Isn’t it great being human? Many splendid experiences and feelings.

Spanked by the Divine Creatrix of Cosmos, Collared and Leashed , confronted by his deepest, shameful desires to Submit to the Divine Feminine the most Macho of Masculine Flowerhood becomes eager and erect, with precum glistening and leaking from submissive Phallus refusing to deny his SubMaso core in the Center of his Dominant Personality!!!View attachment 2490915

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Spanked by the Divine Creatrix of Cosmos, Collared and Leashed , confronted by his deepest, shameful desires to Submit to the Divine Feminine the most Macho of Masculine Flowerhood becomes eager and erect, with precum glistening and leaking from submissive Phallus refusing to deny his SubMaso core in the Center of his Dominant Personality!!!View attachment 2490915

Well … I did not see this coming by a mile.

Thank you.

 

[Ash999]

Well … I did not see this coming by a mile.

Thank you.

Always good to collaborate with a fellow Dom instead of a Drake-Lamar redux.....

 

[Mrs_and_mr]

I’ve tried but have mostly been with dominate partners so I try buy they are always in control. They top from the bottom.

 

[eroticspank]

How is all this different than just bring a switch? Which it seems a lot of people are to one degree or another.

Yes, I completely agree and I have been called a switch. I know people have degrees of this in them and it really depends on who you are with as to what role you will take. I have taken the Dom role with some girlfriends but some submissive women would not react to my Dom role.
ES

 

[seela]

How is all this different than just bring a switch? Which it seems a lot of people are to one degree or another.

Hmm. Good question and I’m not entirely sure how to answer. As a rule, I think it absolutely is switching, but does it mean the person doing it actually is a switch? I don’t think so. It’s like you can play soccer but not be a soccer player.

I don’t see myself as a switch in the slightest, even if I once in a blue moon spank, tie up, edge, fist, peg, have someone massage my feet or whatever. With the exception of shibari, those things are always prompted by the other person and I participate because I want to please and make them feel really good, even if it means stepping out of my comfort zone.

I think for me to feel like I’m a switch, I’d have to derive pleasure out of feeling toppy or doing the toppy things that I do But in my case at least, the pleasure for me comes from basically providing a service. I enjoy service, be it doing laundry, cooking or, every once in a while, slapping someone’s ass.

I suppose I could as well say I’m a sub/Service Top switch, but I really feel like it would be greatly overselling my toppitude.

 

[cascadiabound]

Hmm. Good question and I’m not entirely sure how to answer. As a rule, I think it absolutely is switching, but does it mean the person doing it actually is a switch? I don’t think so. It’s like you can play soccer but not be a soccer player.

I don’t see myself as a switch in the slightest, even if I once in a blue moon spank, tie up, edge, fist, peg, have someone massage my feet or whatever. With the exception of shibari, those things are always prompted by the other person and I participate because I want to please and make them feel really good, even if it means stepping out of my comfort zone.

I think for me to feel like I’m a switch, I’d have to derive pleasure out of feeling toppy or doing the toppy things that I do But in my case at least, the pleasure for me comes from basically providing a service. I enjoy service, be it doing laundry, cooking or, every once in a while, slapping someone’s ass.

I suppose I could as well say I’m a sub/Service Top switch, but I really feel like it would be greatly overselling my toppitude.

Thanks for the thoughtful response, @seela

 

[Ash999]

Hmm. Good question and I’m not entirely sure how to answer. As a rule, I think it absolutely is switching, but does it mean the person doing it actually is a switch? I don’t think so. It’s like you can play soccer but not be a soccer player.

I don’t see myself as a switch in the slightest, even if I once in a blue moon spank, tie up, edge, fist, peg, have someone massage my feet or whatever. With the exception of shibari, those things are always prompted by the other person and I participate because I want to please and make them feel really good, even if it means stepping out of my comfort zone.

I think for me to feel like I’m a switch, I’d have to derive pleasure out of feeling toppy or doing the toppy things that I do But in my case at least, the pleasure for me comes from basically providing a service. I enjoy service, be it doing laundry, cooking or, every once in a while, slapping someone’s ass.

I suppose I could as well say I’m a sub/Service Top switch, but I really feel like it would be greatly overselling my toppitude.

Excellent Logic, Ma'am!!! Kudos to You!!!

 

[eroticspank]

Hmm. Good question and I’m not entirely sure how to answer. As a rule, I think it absolutely is switching, but does it mean the person doing it actually is a switch? I don’t think so. It’s like you can play soccer but not be a soccer player.

I don’t see myself as a switch in the slightest, even if I once in a blue moon spank, tie up, edge, fist, peg, have someone massage my feet or whatever. With the exception of shibari, those things are always prompted by the other person and I participate because I want to please and make them feel really good, even if it means stepping out of my comfort zone.

I think for me to feel like I’m a switch, I’d have to derive pleasure out of feeling toppy or doing the toppy things that I do But in my case at least, the pleasure for me comes from basically providing a service. I enjoy service, be it doing laundry, cooking or, every once in a while, slapping someone’s ass.

I suppose I could as well say I’m a sub/Service Top switch, but I really feel like it would be greatly overselling my toppitude.

Wow, this is a great well-worded response. Now I am rethinking my label of being a Switch. I enjoy being a top, doing the tie-up, spanking, etc; but I also enjoy it because it makes my partner feel really good. There is excitement and arousal from being in control but also from pleasing and bringing about pleasure/pain to my sub. Maybe it is a 60/40 mix for me with 60% being pleasing and giving the sub a great experience.

So maybe I am a sub that is an occasional top. I have met several Doms and a few who are friends. I do see how I am different with certain limitations as an occasional top. Example: I am not a masseuse or have been trained in massage. However, I can give a good massage to a partner, but it will probably be missing a lot of little things that a masseuse would do and be enthusiastic about.
ES

 

[cascadiabound]

Wow, this is a great well-worded response. Now I am rethinking my label of being a Switch. I enjoy being a top, doing the tie-up, spanking, etc; but I also enjoy it because it makes my partner feel really good. There is excitement and arousal from being in control but also from pleasing and bringing about pleasure/pain to my sub. Maybe it is a 60/40 mix for me with 60% being pleasing and giving the sub a great experience.

So maybe I am a sub that is an occasional top. I have met several Doms and a few who are friends. I do see how I am different with certain limitations as an occasional top. Example: I am not a masseuse or have been trained in massage. However, I can give a good massage to a partner, but it will probably be missing a lot of little things that a masseuse would do and be enthusiastic about.
ES

If you haven't read the stickie at the top of this page called "What's in a Label" I recommend you do so.

 

[Britva415]

How is all this different than just bring a switch? Which it seems a lot of people are to one degree or another.

Because switching is switching - domming at some times and subbing at other times.

This isn't that, this is something else - "bottoming from the top" or allowing someone else to "top you from the bottom." That isn't switching, that's overlapping.

A real switch can probably switch between all four, but what makes switching switching is the switching, not the overlapping. If someone were a "submissive dom" all the time and never switched, then they wouldn't be a switch.

 

[cascadiabound]

Because switching is switching - domming at some times and subbing at other times.

This isn't that, this is something else - "bottoming from the top" or allowing someone else to "top you from the bottom." That isn't switching, that's overlapping.

A real switch can probably switch between all four, but what makes switching switching is the switching, not the overlapping. If someone were a "submissive dom" all the time and never switched, then they wouldn't be a switch.

Would they be a Dom bottom then?
If they are submissive all the time then how are they a Dom/PYL?

 

[Britva415]

Would they be a Dom bottom then?
If they are submissive all the time then how are they a Dom/PYL?

I can't speak for the OP, but I imagine they maybe had something in mind like "service topping."

There's Dominance which is a quality of the interaction between two people, where one leads and the other responds or follows, and then there's small-d dominance which is more of an act. The outside appearance and the superficial trappings of the position in the activity aren't the Domination, but they can still be Topping even with the attitudes of submission, responsiveness, serving or complying behind them.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Dominance has a deep, abiding relationship with Control. They’re obsessed. You know, they sneak away at your parties and lean into each others’ ears at dinner and say dirty things and remember seven-month anniversaries.

Service Top never “got” Control. They went out twice and it was OK but mostly weird. Service Top is back with Pleaser (yes, again). They’re fun and if you ask them to bring a salad they will make sure it has a lot of ingredients that are uniformly sliced and distributed throughout the bowl.

 

[eroticspank]

If you haven't read the stickie at the top of this page called "What's in a Label" I recommend you do so.

Thanks, I read it and responded. That also has some great stuff.
ES

 

[eroticspank]

Dominance has a deep, abiding relationship with Control. They’re obsessed. You know, they sneak away at your parties and lean into each others’ ears at dinner and say dirty things and remember seven-month anniversaries.

Service Top never “got” Control. They went out twice and it was OK but mostly weird. Service Top is back with Pleaser (yes, again). They’re fun and if you ask them to bring a salad they will make sure it has a lot of ingredients that are uniformly sliced and distributed throughout the bowl.

For me, I really like Control, being in control and being controlled. It depends on upon my mood as to what I want on a particular day.
ES

 

[PoetM]

Can you be a submissive and role-play as a Dom/Domme for your partner because that turns them on? I understand that some people are a Switch. They can play the dominant or submissive role. However, most people I have known that Switch, have a dominant side to their personality, so it is easier for them to switch roles. I call myself a Switch because I have done both dominant and submissive roles. I do have a dominant side to my personality, but I prefer the submissive role and I wonder if I was just a sub playing the Dom role. For example: As a submissive woman, could you tie up your husband or boyfriend and spank, flog, and tease him for an extended period because it turns him on? If you are the man in this scene would it be in turn-on for you knowing she is doing it for your pleasure not her own? Are there limits for a sub playing the Dom/Domme role?

In my own experience, I did play Dom for several ladies I dated and it was enjoyable because it turned them on that I took control. However, especially with BDSM I felt like I could only go so far.

My personal opinion after years of being a Dom and having a fetish for all mental/sapiosexual aspects of D/s and kink.
You use the term 'play' and 'role'. Dominance and submission are not role play. There is a VERY real Dominant energy and submissive energy in D/s. That may not be your experience but it is mine and subs I've had relations with. When you say 'play' and 'role' that makes me think of top and bottom which is a different thing.

 

[eroticspank]

My personal opinion after years of being a Dom and having a fetish for all mental/sapiosexual aspects of D/s and kink.
You use the term 'play' and 'role'. Dominance and submission are not role play. There is a VERY real Dominant energy and submissive energy in D/s. That may not be your experience but it is mine and subs I've had relations with. When you say 'play' and 'role' that makes me think of top and bottom which is a different thing.

You make a good point and it is similar to several posts on here. The consensus I am getting is that a sub can "top" someone Dominant but not take on the Dominant role in D/s because as you said the energy is different.

I do think we evolve throughout our lives. I don't think we all start dominant or submissive and stay that way. I am sure some do, but others go from one to the other and experiment with what works best for them. For example, I have met a few ladies who started submissive but with time and experiences with being a Top, became dominant.
ES

 

[lowcollar]

I would love to be dominant from the bottom sometimes. Even if she asks me what I want, she does what she wants anyway.

 

[HansKessler]

Can you be a submissive and role-play as a Dom/Domme for your partner because that turns them on? I understand that some people are a Switch. They can play the dominant or submissive role. However, most people I have known that Switch, have a dominant side to their personality, so it is easier for them to switch roles. I call myself a Switch because I have done both dominant and submissive roles. I do have a dominant side to my personality, but I prefer the submissive role and I wonder if I was just a sub playing the Dom role. For example: As a submissive woman, could you tie up your husband or boyfriend and spank, flog, and tease him for an extended period because it turns him on? If you are the man in this scene would it be in turn-on for you knowing she is doing it for your pleasure not her own? Are there limits for a sub playing the Dom/Domme role?

In my own experience, I did play Dom for several ladies I dated and it was enjoyable because it turned them on that I took control. However, especially with BDSM I felt like I could only go so far.

I can rollplay like this with women.