Why do older men become bi-curious?

[betabrad]

As for me I think one reason is that i've always had problems in bed when it came to fucking women. Yeh, i did get pretty good with my tongue and was able to pleasure women that way. As i've gotten older my penis problems have just gotten worse. What choices do you have when you can no longer get hard enough to fuck. Its clear to me, and I have accepted, that my days of being the "pitcher" are over. And I admit, in part due to a porn habit, i now do get turned on by seeing a nice big hard cock. So, not only do I have fantasies about licking a woman's pussy, but also fantasies of licking her pussy after she's fucked another man, and also fantasies about sucking cock ( and .... ok yeh, fantasies about being fucked either by a woman with a strapon or by a man).

 

[Steve99699]

I am 75 and urges are getting worse lol

Like to hear more . . .

 

[Beandip478]

You've asked the million dollar question--why does this fantasy occur to so many older straight men? Part of it, I believe, is hormonal changes. But at least as much, I think another big factor is youth. All of my suck fantasies involve not just a really huge cock, but one that's attached to a very young guy, who's hairless and slender. As much as anything, I think the bi/suck fantasy is an older man pining for his own lost youth. The act of swallowing the young guy's cum is so symbolic, the older man is literally trying to drink that magic potion of youth. We want to get as close to it as possible, experience, if only for a moment, what we once had.

 

[AncientAviator]

I think that it starts with the pleasure we get from our own dicks. The brain associates pleasure with the feel of hard cock. If you play with it with as much fervor as I have, eventually you wish that you can suck it. I'm also a very oral person who loves to eat pussy. I'm not at all into kissing, cuddling or anal with another guy, but sucking and frotting sounds like fun.

 

[Steve99699]

I was in my early 40s when I became curious about other men sexually. I remember coming across a video of two men having sex. It was the first gay video I had ever seen. I wasn't repulsed, but intrigued. Both men were well-built and handsome. I watched that particular video a number of times and was fascinated by it. It was so different by what usually attracted me when I was the surfing the web.

Now I am in my mid-50s and enjoy videos of of men with other men. It is not something unusual or odd now. I really enjoy erotic stories of (mostly straight) guys experimenting with each other. I still prefer heterosexual porn, but gay porn is a niche within me.

I have never done anything with another guy except engage with "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours" when I was just a kid. And it is doubtful that I will act on any male curiosities now. But it doesn't stop me from fantasizing about it.

I think that one of the reasons men may find themselves fantasizing about other guys when they enter mid-life is that my this time in life we are probably more comfortable with our sexuality and willing to discover any eccentricities when may discover. Maybe those impulses and yearnings were there all along. Maybe they are new. I'm not sure that it matters. Also, we live in a different time sexually than we did thirty+ years ago. Not only have there been huge advances for gays and lesbians - bisexuality is more embraced now than previously. Maybe we feel that is more okay to explore sexually than previously in our lives.

One particular fantasy of mine is about mutual masturbation with another guy. If that were to ever happen in real life, I'm not sure that I would have to have a deep emotional connection for this to take place. But when it comes to something more intimate - like oral or anal sex - I think I would need to have some sort of intimacy or emotional bond for this to happen. That said, I just can't imagine loving a man the way I love women. But I could see such intimacy growing out of deep friendship.

This is an interesting thread. Let's keep up the conversation.

Dru

Dru - really like your perspective. I'm a mature MWM who finds myself closely aligned with your thinking.

 

[magic_rat]

Easy and free access to internet porn.

No, it predates that,

I've been actively bi since my teens and lost my cherry to a man before I did to a woman. I'd regularly go cottaging (hanging out in certain public toilets for sex) and I'd say at least 80% of the men I met (that I had any kind of conversation with, often they were silent encounters) were middle aged married men.

Teenagers now have a lot of freedoms. There's no stigma to being openly gay or bi. Not so when I was young. I think many men already knew they were gay or bi, but married for fear of being different. Eventually, the truth will out itself.

 

[canogagrizz]

I was in my early 40s when I became curious about other men sexually. I remember coming across a video of two men having sex. It was the first gay video I had ever seen. I wasn't repulsed, but intrigued. Both men were well-built and handsome. I watched that particular video a number of times and was fascinated by it. It was so different by what usually attracted me when I was the surfing the web.

Now I am in my mid-50s and enjoy videos of of men with other men. It is not something unusual or odd now. I really enjoy erotic stories of (mostly straight) guys experimenting with each other. I still prefer heterosexual porn, but gay porn is a niche within me.

I have never done anything with another guy except engage with "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours" when I was just a kid. And it is doubtful that I will act on any male curiosities now. But it doesn't stop me from fantasizing about it.

I think that one of the reasons men may find themselves fantasizing about other guys when they enter mid-life is that my this time in life we are probably more comfortable with our sexuality and willing to discover any eccentricities when may discover. Maybe those impulses and yearnings were there all along. Maybe they are new. I'm not sure that it matters. Also, we live in a different time sexually than we did thirty+ years ago. Not only have there been huge advances for gays and lesbians - bisexuality is more embraced now than previously. Maybe we feel that is more okay to explore sexually than previously in our lives.

One particular fantasy of mine is about mutual masturbation with another guy. If that were to ever happen in real life, I'm not sure that I would have to have a deep emotional connection for this to take place. But when it comes to something more intimate - like oral or anal sex - I think I would need to have some sort of intimacy or emotional bond for this to happen. That said, I just can't imagine loving a man the way I love women. But I could see such intimacy growing out of deep friendship.

This is an interesting thread. Let's keep up the conversation.

Dru

Everything you stated I couldn't agree more. Well said.

 

[Brick1950]

For a lot men in a sexless marriage it make a lot sense especially if also married

 

[Series 6]

Teenagers now have a lot of freedoms. There's no stigma to being openly gay or bi. Not so when I was young. I think many men already knew they were gay or bi, but married for fear of being different. Eventually, the truth will out itself.

Maybe many more men have bi curiosity/desires than willing to admit in the past because of the stigma. Now with the internet and being gay or bisexual losing much of the negative stigma it had, more guys are feeling free to acknowledge their curiosity/desires both to themselves and online. I'm 53 and back in college. Currently I'm taking a Human Sexuality class and the younger people are more open about their sexuality than when I was in my teens and early 20's in the 80's.

I do think the internet is a contributing factor to it. Going back to the AOL chat room days, you could anonymously surf around looking for sex chat. Men FAR outnumbered women in those rooms and what may have started as a guy pretending to be a woman chatting with guys evolves into guys becoming ok chatting with other guys about sex/cyber sex and it going from there.

 

[Brick1950]

Just maybe because every older retired guy needs a hobby , mine is sucking cock !

 

[GentlemanJedi63]

I'll be 60 in a few months, still love women, married (not happily), but have to admit that my curiosity (which I have never explored) is something I have grown to accept as part of me. It seems that as I have aged, my mind has opened to the possibilities of pleasure rather than who my partner in that pleasure is.

 

[muycurioso]

cuz I am totally invisible to females of any age. prob the same for men as well.

 

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

I think that being Bi-Curious is less something that older men become, and more something that re-emerges as we get older - for most of the reasons already stated. Many of we married men have repressed any Bisexual urges while we've enjoyed active married sex lives, and then as sexual activity with our partners lessens, or becomes non-existent, we are craving sexual release. AND, we know that most men do not lose interest as quickly as our wives do. SO...................................................................

 

[Series 6]

cuz I am totally invisible to females of any age. prob the same for men as well.

Who said that? I heard a voice, but don't see anyone.

 

[Mtnmike]

Who said that? I heard a voice, but don't see anyone.

Now that was Funny

 

[Crios]

I'll be the first to admit I was homophobic in my younger years. Raised a strict Catholic, I was, of course, taught that same-sex relationships were evil. Never made fun of anyone to their faces but did behind their backs. I certainly wasn't accepting them or that lifestyle.

Today, I'm ashamed of the way I was back then. What changed? Being exposed to so many different lifestyles, orientations, cultures over the years working for several multinational companies was the catalyst. Also having a dear niece come out as well as making friends with other bisexual and gay individuals.

As I've gotten older (mid-60s now) I've developed interest and feelings for being with another man. I'm happily married and would never cheat on my wife but I can't deny the feelings I have. When I watch porn, I watch just as much gay/bisexual porn as I do straight porn. Same thing with stories on Lit. Don't get me wrong. I still love having sex with my wife and find women very attractive. Just sometimes I wish for something "different." When she pegs me, I sometimes fantasize it is another guy doing me. Dream of several "experienced" older men like myself gently using me in a group setting.

 

[fitandfresh]

Mid 70's now and the older I have got the more curious I have become. Love my wife dearly and would not do anything to risk that relationship but now no longer active sexually. Only had one slight experience when I was in my teens ....down at a static caravan with friends and my buddy and I were alone ......I kinda dozed off but suddenly felt my buddy gently pulling down the zip of my pants and slipping his hand into my underpants gently seeking out my flacid cock. I just froze but it felt quite nice.....he just stroked it for a short time and then not being able to help myself I softly moaned and he panicked quickly withdrawing his hand and pulling my zip back up. I slowly came " round" and by that time he had moved away.......nothing was ever said or happened again and he later moved away and we lost touch........now I wonder........what if?

 

[yowser]

You've asked the million dollar question--why does this fantasy occur to so many older straight men? Part of it, I believe, is hormonal changes. But at least as much, I think another big factor is youth. All of my suck fantasies involve not just a really huge cock, but one that's attached to a very young guy, who's hairless and slender. As much as anything, I think the bi/suck fantasy is an older man pining for his own lost youth. The act of swallowing the young guy's cum is so symbolic, the older man is literally trying to drink that magic potion of youth. We want to get as close to it as possible, experience, if only for a moment, what we once had.

This is an interesting concept. Of course in many primitive societies, sexual fluids have enormous symbolic importance.

I did a story, based on real practice, more or less about the reverse of your observation, a tradition of young male warriors of a New Guinea tribe who would suckle older males for their jerungdu, their semen, as it was deemed essential that their own virility be 'enhanced' and 'seeded' by the vital fluids of older males.

Some of you may enjoy this piece.

https://literotica.com/s/fellation-initiation

 

[Crios]

This is an interesting concept. Of course in many primitive societies, sexual fluids have enormous symbolic importance.

I did a story, based on real practice, more or less about the reverse of your observation, a tradition of young male warriors of a New Guinea tribe who would suckle older males for their jerungdu, their semen, as it was deemed essential that their own virility be 'enhanced' and 'seeded' by the vital fluids of older males.

Some of you may enjoy this piece.

https://literotica.com/s/fellation-initiation

, that is an amazing story! Thank you for sharing!

 

[paulman999]

Not sur3 why, but not complaining…

 

[canogagrizz]

This is an interesting concept. Of course in many primitive societies, sexual fluids have enormous symbolic importance.

I did a story, based on real practice, more or less about the reverse of your observation, a tradition of young male warriors of a New Guinea tribe who would suckle older males for their jerungdu, their semen, as it was deemed essential that their own virility be 'enhanced' and 'seeded' by the vital fluids of older males.

Some of you may enjoy this piece.

https://literotica.com/s/fellation-initiation

Yes excellent story. That actually makes sense. A form of empathy really for the older male species as well. What an erotic thing to do for very compelling reasons. I would like to be part of this tribe. What "values" they have. Bravo. And I'm being serious. A "no sexual hang ups" tribe society. Whoever came up with this tradition idea to do this in this tribe should be considered a total genius. LOVE IT!

 

[timmy8]

I like to read stories about guys like me.Early 60's,enjoys porn,enjoys vanilla sex with wife,starts to get curious.I've mentioned to guys in chat rooms how I've played with my cock for 50 years and think it may be fun to play with another.I like the idea of finding a guy just like me.Close in age and just a little curious. A guy who would get a thrill just from being open to conversation that would be private.I'd like him to be a new acquaintance.Not a long time friend.Two guys who have no experience or maybe just some from their youth.They'd work slowly building up their nerve and enjoying the journey to new thrills.I may have to write a story myself as there seem to be few that go into this kind of scene.Most stories seem to have one experienced guy.If anyone here in this thread has some suggestions for stories please pass them on.

 

[softail999]

I like to read stories about guys like me.Early 60's,enjoys porn,enjoys vanilla sex with wife,starts to get curious.I've mentioned to guys in chat rooms how I've played with my cock for 50 years and think it may be fun to play with another.I like the idea of finding a guy just like me.Close in age and just a little curious. A guy who would get a thrill just from being open to conversation that would be private.I'd like him to be a new acquaintance.Not a long time friend.Two guys who have no experience or maybe just some from their youth.They'd work slowly building up their nerve and enjoying the journey to new thrills.I may have to write a story myself as there seem to be few that go into this kind of scene.Most stories seem to have one experienced guy.If anyone here in this thread has some suggestions for stories please pass them on.

I am in the same situation you describe. I am mid 60's, married, sex once a week with my wife. Same routine every time, she will suck me until I become erect, I will mount her and finish, no fire works, no excitement, just a climax. I have had thoughts of finding another married man, no experience but curious and eager to explore. I remember the days of feeling desired and having a woman that's horny. My wife's age and health issues have destroyed her desire for sex, so in my mind, I think it would be nice to have an understanding buddy with the same issues. It would be nice to feel desired once again !

 

[canogagrizz]

I am in the same situation you describe. I am mid 60's, married, sex once a week with my wife. Same routine every time, she will suck me until I become erect, I will mount her and finish, no fire works, no excitement, just a climax. I have had thoughts of finding another married man, no experience but curious and eager to explore. I remember the days of feeling desired and having a woman that's horny. My wife's age and health issues have destroyed her desire for sex, so in my mind, I think it would be nice to have an understanding buddy with the same issues. It would be nice to feel desired once again !

I think most older guys in marriages have the same issues with most their older wives. My wife has major health issues so I've been totally understanding and I truly feel bad for her. It could be the other way around easily and us the ones with the major health issues & no desire anymore.
Imo, you should be very grateful she is willing to do anything sexually for you anymore. In my situation I haven't had anything in over 15yrs. I understand the need for wanting to "feel" desired, but for a wife still giving you BJs once a week that is A LOT. Being desired is over rated anyways really. It's neat & all but the fact is we are older and not as attractive to people without old men fetishes. And lets face it, it still is mostly about the sex and not wanting to be desired. I think wanting to be desired is just using that as an excuse probably. I just sort of smh at the older married guys still getting some form of sex from their wives, yet can't just be content & thankful they are still getting any at all. If she truly felt absolutely "no desire" for you she wouldn't be doing anything anymore. Imho.
For those older married guys that haven't had sex in years like myself, well, they actually have a solid legit reason to go seeking out sex with other men or women. But, I understand "your desire" to want something more. But I am just thinking "Wow. Lucky dude. At least he gets BJs once a week still the lucky bastard. Me I haven't got NOTHING in over 15yrs." Due to my wife's heath problems.

 

[Bittersweet1215]

I don't know if I was always bi or became that way or whatever. Doesn't really matter much to me honestly. But I do know that health issues were not the reason for a lack of sex in my marriage. I don't think less of my wife or anything but the fact is she lost interest in doing it and outright told me so.

I'd be lying if I said that it didn't cause me to explore more. Besides that getting older and being monogamous just naturally means that you crave something new even if you're faithful. I guess it only natural to eventually explore any curiosity you might have. My interest in the opposite sex has only gotten deeper over time.

Also I think as we get older we look for more things that we think are forbidden or give us that rush of doing something new and naughty again. The metaphor of forbidden fruit is a thing for a reason I think.