What's something you've always wanted to ask the opposite gender?

[AlwaysFara]

Ladies:

How important is scent to you?

I mean cologne, not body odor or bad breath. Have you ever found yourself attracted to man you normally wouldn't be attracted to because he really smelled nice? Or found yourself less attracted because he didn't? or is it more of an affirmation of your being attracted or not being attracted.

I love the way he smells.

I hate heavy cologne.

The best smell is his balls in my face.


Next question.

 

[SAFblonde]

It’s not cynical. It’s realistic because of all the heartbreak we all witness day after day here.

Guys have you had heartbreak on Lit? How do you deal with it?

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

I don't know when this was, but for the last twenty years or so, Society has gradually diminished the possibility of this approach working. Guys who hit on women on the train might as well send a dick pic. I like to think that if I was single I would have noticed, read the signs correctly and taken the hint. On the other hand, nobody wants a slapped face or worse over a misunderstanding.

It only takes a second to say hello back and smile. I guess you can say I'm old school in my approaches. 4 hours of my days were spent on public transportation. 2 hours in one direction and 2 hours back. Overtime work I never complained about even though it was grueling.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I don't know when this was, but for the last twenty years or so, Society has gradually diminished the possibility of this approach working. Guys who hit on women on the train might as well send a dick pic. I like to think that if I was single I would have noticed, read the signs correctly and taken the hint. On the other hand, nobody wants a slapped face or worse over a misunderstanding.

I agree.
Try the bookstore.

 

[Interested_Girl]

Question Time...

Men: What qualities do you think you have that attract(ed) women to you?

 

[cole4258]

Men: What qualities do you think you have that attract(ed) women to you?

The thing that comes naturally to men of the south. To treat women like ladies. But you know, that trait has become unappreciated in today's world. So I guess a smile will have to do.

 

[Interested_Girl]

The thing that comes naturally to men of the south. To treat women like ladies. But you know, that trait has become unappreciated in today's world. So I guess a smile will have to do.

What? No! I love this. It's awesome!

 

[SoulAssasin247]

Men: What qualities do you think you have that attract(ed) women to you?

Honesty, being there during bad times, deep conversation, caring, being nasty, my voice and physical appearance.

 

[Tedfkats]

Men: What qualities do you think you have that attract(ed) women to you?

My smile and my eyes.
Protective nature.
Sense of humor.
Humilty.
Genuine kindness.
And a little bit of don't give a fuck.

 

[Little_Sister]

My smile and my eyes.
Protective nature.
Sense of humor.
Humilty.
Genuine kindness.
And a little bit of don't give a fuck.

 

[Interested_Girl]

Honesty, being there during bad times, deep conversation, caring, being nasty, my voice and physical appearance.

Your voice? Care to share

My smile and my eyes.
Protective nature.
Sense of humor.
Humilty.
Genuine kindness.
And a little bit of don't give a fuck.

All nice qualities. The genuine kindest sounds lovely.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

What intimidates you from approaching a female? (Besides fear of rejection)

 

[Apisto42]

What intimidates you from approaching a female? (Besides fear of rejection)

Nothing. I was shot down in flames so many times when I was younger that I’m now immune to rejection. Plus, I’m a cocky southern bastard.

To be a bit more serious, and it’s not really intimidation, the question of “Is this an appropriate time/place?” is the more pertinent question. I try to be very aware of that.

 

[Polranny]

Fear of making a fool of myself

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

My suggestion: Try not to overthink things. It costs nothing nor does it hurt to say hello or a simple hi. Pay attention to little cues, if she's crying, wiping her eyes a lot, it's not conversation time. Observe before approaching...even then some females, I understand, are harsh. Rest assured, not all are "Queen of Rejectors".

 

[Smoothshavendad]

My suggestion: Try not to overthink things. It costs nothing nor does it hurt to say hello or a simple hi. Pay attention to little cues, if she's crying, wiping her eyes a lot, it's not conversation time. Observe before approaching...even then some females, I understand, are harsh. Rest assured, not all are "Queen of Rejectors".

I agree. Always pay attention.

 

[LostGirlTink]

Nothing. I was shot down in flames so many times when I was younger that I’m now immune to rejection. Plus, I’m a cocky southern bastard.

To be a bit more serious, and it’s not really intimidation, the question of “Is this an appropriate time/place?” is the more pertinent question. I try to be very aware of that.

time and place are everything.
It’s so great that people are starting to recognize this more.

My suggestion: Try not to overthink things. It costs nothing nor does it hurt to say hello or a simple hi. Pay attention to little cues, if she's crying, wiping her eyes a lot, it's not conversation time. Observe before approaching...even then some females, I understand, are harsh. Rest assured, not all are "Queen of Rejectors".

I disagree... always overthink it.
Make sure you aren’t the jackass that has her walking home with her hand on her keys, wishing she had pepper spray because of your behavior.
It’s only charming in romantic comedies to feel accosted.
Sure a smile, a hellonis almost always fine, but don’t be creepy... I’ve seen articles telling guys how to get a girl wearing headphones to respond to you, and I gotta tell you, if she’s wearing headphones she doesn’t want to talk.
Respect that.
Also frankly there’s nothing wrong with rejecting someone you don’t even know... I have zero obligation to entertain strangers or worry about how they will take my lack of smile. I try to be kind to people but it is NOT an obligation.
Also rejections like this, where you don’t even know the person should never be taken personally, she doesn’t even know you... it’s something she just doesn’t want for whatever reason, why should a guy be upset by that? He doesn’t know her story

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

What intimidates you from approaching a female? (Besides fear of rejection)

Frankly,I was never very good at this when I was young. If I knew then what I know now, , nothing would intimidate me. Women are not prey, nor are they an enemy to be vanquished. They are human beings, with the potential to join you in happiness. The game isn't football, it's chess or poker: think! If the worst thing that happens to you today is that a woman says "Fuck off creep", you'll live.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

time and place are everything.
It’s so great that people are starting to recognize this more.


I disagree... always overthink it.
Make sure you aren’t the jackass that has her walking home with her hand on her keys, wishing she had pepper spray because of your behavior.
It’s only charming in romantic comedies to feel accosted.
Sure a smile, a hellonis almost always fine, but don’t be creepy... I’ve seen articles telling guys how to get a girl wearing headphones to respond to you, and I gotta tell you, if she’s wearing headphones she doesn’t want to talk.
Respect that.
Also frankly there’s nothing wrong with rejecting someone you don’t even know... I have zero obligation to entertain strangers or worry about how they will take my lack of smile. I try to be kind to people but it is NOT an obligation.
Also rejections like this, where you don’t even know the person should never be taken personally, she doesn’t even know you... it’s something she just doesn’t want for whatever reason, why should a guy be upset by that? He doesn’t know her story

Very true in one sense, that's why observation is a good thing. When someone wants to be alone, the signs are pretty clear when you pay attention to cues. Observations are not thoughts, it's noticing what's already there. Some things are common sense as well.

As far as rejection is concerned, not everyone wants to make a love connection.

 

[AlwaysFara]

time and place are everything.
It’s so great that people are starting to recognize this more.


I disagree... always overthink it.
Make sure you aren’t the jackass that has her walking home with her hand on her keys, wishing she had pepper spray because of your behavior.
It’s only charming in romantic comedies to feel accosted.
Sure a smile, a hellonis almost always fine, but don’t be creepy... I’ve seen articles telling guys how to get a girl wearing headphones to respond to you, and I gotta tell you, if she’s wearing headphones she doesn’t want to talk.
Respect that.
Also frankly there’s nothing wrong with rejecting someone you don’t even know... I have zero obligation to entertain strangers or worry about how they will take my lack of smile. I try to be kind to people but it is NOT an obligation.
Also rejections like this, where you don’t even know the person should never be taken personally, she doesn’t even know you... it’s something she just doesn’t want for whatever reason, why should a guy be upset by that? He doesn’t know her story

This this this and this again.

 

[jmarx20102012]

Why do females, both those I know and even strangers get so fucking pissy when I do not want to talk? Please understand that some of us dont have anything to say to anyone anymore.

 

[LostGirlTink]

Very true in one sense, that's why observation is a good thing. When someone wants to be alone, the signs are pretty clear when you pay attention to cues. Observations are not thoughts, it's noticing what's already there. Some things are common sense as well.

As far as rejection is concerned, not everyone wants to make a love connection.

The problem is that people think they don't have to pay attention to the cues.
People think they can IGNORE the cues because they want to talk to you.
That their desire to talk to you, to make a connection of some kind based on their desire trumps your desire to not talk to them.
Don't be that douchebag.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entr...g-headphones-dont_us_57c583eee4b09cd22d926bf3

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Why do females, both those I know and even strangers get so fucking pissy when I do not want to talk? Please understand that some of us dont have anything to say to anyone anymore.

I understand everyone needs space, but that's just me. I grew up with 5 brothers, me being the youngest of 9. I completely understand.

 

[jmarx20102012]

I understand everyone needs space, but that's just me. I grew up with 5 brothers, me being the youngest of 9. I completely understand.

Yeah I got enough going on in my head. I dont want to take my headphones off and go on about my day or the weather or who is holding public office. It has nothing to do with you or how you look.

 

[Interested_Girl]

My suggestion: Try not to overthink things. It costs nothing nor does it hurt to say hello or a simple hi. Pay attention to little cues, if she's crying, wiping her eyes a lot, it's not conversation time. Observe before approaching...even then some females, I understand, are harsh. Rest assured, not all are "Queen of Rejectors".

Sound advice. I do believe men shouldn't overthink things. Saying hello does nothing but open a door, not close it. Also, adding a harmless compliment shows interest, like if someone has a nice haircut or pretty dress. I think men are getting scared of even hinting at attraction any longer, and that isn't good either.

There are ways to approach women in a harmless way and get a positive result. Natural is always best too. It's certainly difficult in the digital age.