What's something you've always wanted to ask the opposite gender?

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Yeah I got enough going on in my head. I dont want to take my headphones off and go on about my day or the weather or who is holding public office. It has nothing to do with you or how you look.

The only ones offended are the ones trying too hard to get your attention.... possibly.
 
Complimenting a woman’s shoes is always a safe bet. I’ve never been slapped for it.

Continuing with the compliment and adding,”they make your ass look fantastic” is a little riskier.

But can pay off as well.
 
Complimenting a woman’s shoes is always a safe bet. I’ve never been slapped for it.

Continuing with the compliment and adding,”they make your ass look fantastic” is a little riskier.

But can pay off as well.

All about the cue's, man.
 
Sound advice. I do believe men shouldn't overthink things. Saying hello does nothing but open a door, not close it. Also, adding a harmless compliment shows interest, like if someone has a nice haircut or pretty dress. I think men are getting scared of even hinting at attraction any longer, and that isn't good either.

There are ways to approach women in a harmless way and get a positive result. Natural is always best too. It's certainly difficult in the digital age.

The art of wooing a female/male is a lost technique. Paying attention or observing one's actions to see if they're available is just as important too. Who wouldn't want to receive an anonymous gift from a secret admirer? It could be a favorite candy bar or depending on how dedicated you are, floral arrangements or for a male (men like gifts too), a Home Depot gift card, gift wrapped or his favorite CD. If he's a music purist, his vinyl favorite band/artist. Film for his camera. If you already know these things about him, great. Just don't be stalkerish (both women and men), ask and be brief and straight to the point if you don't know but want to.
 
The art of wooing a female/male is a lost technique. Paying attention or observing one's actions to see if they're available is just as important too. Who wouldn't want to receive an anonymous gift from a secret admirer? It could be a favorite candy bar or depending on how dedicated you are, floral arrangements or for a male (men like gifts too), a Home Depot gift card, gift wrapped or his favorite CD. If he's a music purist, his vinyl favorite band/artist. Film for his camera. If you already know these things about him, great. Just don't be stalkerish (both women and men), ask and be brief and straight to the point if you don't know but want to.

Here's the thing....People who aren't stalkers don't need to be told these things. Stalkers never think they are stalkers. Just like micro managers never think they are micro managers. The vast majority do know how to act/interact.

I just hope men don't stop being men. That continue asking women out, and start conversations and flirt. It's truly one of the sweetest things in life.
 
Here's the thing....People who aren't stalkers don't need to be told these things. Stalkers never think they are stalkers. Just like micro managers never think they are micro managers. The vast majority do know how to act/interact.

I just hope men don't stop being men. That continue asking women out, and start conversations and flirt. It's truly one of the sweetest things in life.

Well, in the age of swiping left and right, saying hello up close and personal because one thinks the other is attractive has been lost. It is a sad state of affairs and rough on those who are looking just to meet someone nice without any expectations.
 
i was once reported to my boss for calling a female customer "sweetie." not in a condescending tone. not in a creepy tone. in a "and here's your change - fifteen... aaaand twenty - have a good day, sweetie" tone.

That sucks. Where I grew up it was (and still is) common for servers to terms like sweetie and darling. Some people are a bit uptight. Professionally I just avoid anything related to a persons displayed gender now. If I can, I’ll avoid titles as well.

Ma’am still slips out a lot though. Hard to kill that habit.
 
i was once reported to my boss for calling a female customer "sweetie." not in a condescending tone. not in a creepy tone. in a "and here's your change - fifteen... aaaand twenty - have a good day, sweetie" tone.

Was she his sweetie?
No?

There you go.
 
That sucks. Where I grew up it was (and still is) common for servers to terms like sweetie and darling. Some people are a bit uptight. Professionally I just avoid anything related to a persons displayed gender now. If I can, I’ll avoid titles as well.

Ma’am still slips out a lot though. Hard to kill that habit.

One of the servers in he coffee shop call everyone sweetie. I think it's a country thing. Like Ma'am or Sir.

On the other hand, consider this:

The woman who runs the tech library was interviewing for a nice fat promotion. She normally dresses down at work, because the library can be messy. She showed up dressed to the nines. Business skirt, sharp looking blouse, serious heels, blazer. She looked great.

I was about to say "You look great!", when I remembered Human Resources had recently intervened in a complaint against an employee who complimented another employee's appearance without an invitation to do so.

No, that happened.

Sad.
 
Was she his sweetie?
No?

There you go.

Feminism has sometimes gone too far for little things. I have southern roots where sweetie, darlin, sugar, honey is used by older males and females on the regular. I grew up with that. I'm no spring chicken either. I do realize others may not take too kindly for such things. Pick and choose your battles. Is it worth someone losing their job? Really?
 
One of the servers in he coffee shop call everyone sweetie. I think it's a country thing. Like Ma'am or Sir.

On the other hand, consider this:

The woman who runs the tech library was interviewing for a nice fat promotion. She normally dresses down at work, because the library can be messy. She showed up dressed to the nines. Business skirt, sharp looking blouse, serious heels, blazer. She looked great.

I was about to say "You look great!", when I remembered Human Resources had recently intervened in a complaint against an employee who complimented another employee's appearance without an invitation to do so.

No, that happened.

Sad.

Flip it on it's head, "You're gonna rock that interview. You look confident"
 
Oh, I didn't add that. I knew she had the interview, but I asked "Who had the big sale on business attire?" When I got a chuckle, I said like, "I'm going to miss the great job you do in the Library. Go get that new job!"

She got it on the second try six months later after the first choice crashed and burned.
 
Feminism has sometimes gone too far for little things. I have southern roots where sweetie, darlin, sugar, honey is used by older males and females on the regular. I grew up with that. I'm no spring chicken either. I do realize others may not take too kindly for such things. Pick and choose your battles. Is it worth someone losing their job? Really?

Maybe for you.
Not so much for others.
Feminism will go too far when we are all equal. Same for racism. Religious intolerance. Etc.

I do pick and choose my battles. I don’t call men by endearments in the workplace, and I expect the same courtesy. Call me by my name, or the title I’ve worked hard to achieve and hold on to.
 
Oh, I didn't add that. I knew she had the interview, but I asked "Who had the big sale on business attire?" When I got a chuckle, I said like, "I'm going to miss the great job you do in the Library. Go get that new job!"

She got it on the second try six months later after the first choice crashed and burned.

See? There you go. You got your point across.

Listen, I get it. As a woman, I get it. I work in an industry that is male dominated to the extreme and I'm exceptionally young to be in the position I'm in.

I have been harassed by all types. Men and women. But, the one thing I know...the difference between a genuine compliment and a underhanded jab or a comment to fulfill someone else's egos vs. Mine.

All about the cue's and the situation
 
See? There you go. You got your point across.

Listen, I get it. As a woman, I get it. I work in an industry that is male dominated to the extreme and I'm exceptionally young to be in the position I'm in.

I have been harassed by all types. Men and women. But, the one thing I know...the difference between a genuine compliment and a underhanded jab or a comment to fulfill someone else's egos vs. Mine.

All about the cue's and the situation

Especially positions of power. If a male colleague or superior who is NOT my friend is too familiar, I assume it’s intimidation.
And my hackles rise.
 
see, i don't know how y'all women manage out here these days. because most men i know are either willfully ignorant and don't care about cues or (like me) innocently clueless and can't pick out a cue to save their lives.

If I say something and he apologizes, I can usually see if it’s genuine. And most of the time it is.
It’s the crappy ones that make us defensive. If you think we are worth it, you’ll take the time. My Bf and my guy friends and most of my coworkers are good guys.
 
What's the difference between vaginal and clitoral orgasms? Are "vaginal orgasms" a myth?"
 
see, i don't know how y'all women manage out here these days. because most men i know are either willfully ignorant and don't care about cues or (like me) innocently clueless and can't pick out a cue to save their lives.

It's okay. Not all of us are out here to bust you. :)

Honestly, I just go with the flow. What I can't stand is the random assholes on the street. Those get to me. They are just looking to bother you, not because they have any real intentions.

But I have never freaked out at someone for making a pass.

I still believe in romance and the unexpected. Because it makes life worth living. I can't be bothered to be on guard and annoyed or angry. Not worth it.
 
Especially positions of power. If a male colleague or superior who is NOT my friend is too familiar, I assume it’s intimidation.
And my hackles rise.

I don't assume that. In my business, assumptions are what we call "the mother of all fuck ups". I don't need to assume anything, I just need to get to the root cause. It's why I don't freak out, or put my back up. I curtail or change the line of dialogue/questioning. I never play into it, because if it is a power play by letting my "hackles rise" I'm allowing him to take my peace of mind from me. And no ones ever, Gets.The.Best.Of.Me.
 
Maybe for you.
Not so much for others.
Feminism will go too far when we are all equal. Same for racism. Religious intolerance. Etc.

I do pick and choose my battles. I don’t call men by endearments in the workplace, and I expect the same courtesy. Call me by my name, or the title I’ve worked hard to achieve and hold on to.

Me personally, I do call people by their names. I do give respect. For areas where there is a different culture, I understand that too. I do understand your profession as well.There are times where we all are taken for granted and the lack of respect is felt across the board. I guess it is just me not to make much over certain things. I do see what you do mean though. Lack of respect or spoken down to is not a good thing. The respect you get is the respect you demand for yourself.

I've been in that situation where there wasn't any respect and a manger was called. The person complaining had to shut his mouth when he saw the manager taking direction from me for which I had superior knowledge of. I still got the job done, but the sting of his blatant ignorance lingers. He had to pick his jaw up off the floor for his blatant disrespect. My personality and temperament never changed. His had to though.
 
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All these posts are further reasoning for me to keep to myself. I am already socially awkward AF unless alcohol is involved. And even then I can only really talk to anyone about 3, maybe 4 subjects. I probably wont look you in the eyes and anything you tell me will be forgotten within seconds. I hate it but that is who I am. I am just thinking about that song I just heard or where I can buy miso paste or the pills in my pocket. I kinda like this place though. In all honesty I give zero fucks about sex but because it aint all that judgemental except when it is. Fuck I am drunk.
 
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