what would you do

[Pandora's Box]

this is just hypothetical.

if you went out on a few dates with someone and discovered you couldn't stand them, would you not return their call's or would you tell them the truth if they asked why you don't wish to see them again?

 

[littlekateyes]

Tell them the trulth.

 

[Tantanah]

Tell them the truth...but put it in a nice way.

 

[Kitte]

this is just hypothetical.

if you went out on a few dates with someone and discovered you couldn't stand them, would you not return their call's or would you tell them the truth if they asked why you don't wish to see them again?

Dont come right out and say I cant stand you... Be polite but let them know you are not interested in pursuing things further. If they ask why say "I just dont think we click like that, Im sorry,"

 

[Pandora's Box]

yes, being polite is the right thing to do but wouldn't it be nice to be able to once say "bugger off you asshole or this heel is going to end up up your butt"....with my luck he'd bend over and wait.

 

[horny_giraffe]

I'd try not returning the calls for a while. But if they don't get the subtle hints, I guess you have to break out the neon sign.

Some people just don't get hints at all, and you have to spell it out for them. Poor souls.

 

[HeavyStick]

restraining orders.

 

[Private Vasquez]

do a little dance
make a little love
get down tonight

 

[Cheyenne]

I'd try not returning the calls for a while. But if they don't get the subtle hints, I guess you have to break out the neon sign.

Some people just don't get hints at all, and you have to spell it out for them. Poor souls.

IMHO, that is a chickenshit way to do it. All that does is make the other person wonder what they did to make you not want to see/talk to them anymore. "Hints" like that aren't helpful at all. Tell the truth, but nicely, as some of the others have already said.

 

[Devilish1]

Tell them the truth...but put it in a nice way.

Ditto this.

 

[Rambling Rose]

....with my luck he'd bend over and wait.

Oh. I thought this was 'just hypothetical'.

 

[Debbie]

Tell them the truth.

 

[Pandora's Box]

Rambling Rose said Oh. I thought this was 'just hypothetical'.

it is. i'm just hypothetically describing what would probably happen if i was in that situation.

 

[horny_giraffe]

... All that does is make the other person wonder what they did to make you not want to see/talk to them anymore. ...

Isn't that kind of the point--that you don't want to see/talk to them anymore? Do you really think that I'm interested in getting an itemized list of why someone doesn't like me? Maybe someone else would like that, but not me.

It's true, though, that some people just don't get it. I guess if I have to, the next thing I'd say is something like "I'd like you to leave me alone," then perhaps a less restrained "Please don't email me, or call me on the phone, or write me letters, or talk to me on the street." I suppose that for some people you really have to spell it out in every detail. I swear to God, that with some people they will actually say "...but you didn't say that I couldn't page you..."

After that, I'd be considerably less civil.

 

[nike]

this is just hypothetical.

if you went out on a few dates with someone and discovered you couldn't stand them, would you not return their call's or would you tell them the truth if they asked why you don't wish to see them again?

definitely tell them the truth.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

you know, it's easier to say "tell them truth" than it is to mean it. When you're looking at someone or talking to someone, it's difficult to say something like that. I try the whole slowing down of contact followed by a "we didn't click" speech if they ask why. Personally, i prefer we didn't click to falling off the face of the planet when it's aimed at me, but sometimes I don't have the nerve to say it back.

 

[Cheyenne]

Isn't that kind of the point--that you don't want to see/talk to them anymore? Do you really think that I'm interested in getting an itemized list of why someone doesn't like me? Maybe someone else would like that, but not me.

It's true, though, that some people just don't get it. I guess if I have to, the next thing I'd say is something like "I'd like you to leave me alone," then perhaps a less restrained "Please don't email me, or call me on the phone, or write me letters, or talk to me on the street." I suppose that for some people you really have to spell it out in every detail. I swear to God, that with some people they will actually say "...but you didn't say that I couldn't page you..."

After that, I'd be considerably less civil.

I think you still don't get it. No one is saying that you need to give someone an itemized list as to why you don't like someone. But ignoring someone you've previously had some kind of friendship with is just plain rude. And I don't even want to know what your "less civil" approach would be.

You can get your point across in a much kinder fashion than saying "I'd like you to leave me alone." All of the posts to this thread talking about telling the other person that you just don't click and you aren't interested in the long term are correct, IMHO. It takes the burden of the "why" off of the person you're ignoring and puts it back on your own shoulders. It isn't something they DID that made you ignore them, as they are probably assuming. It is YOU that just isn't interested. In the first scenario, they will wonder if what they DID is something that can be fixed and therefore get the relationship back on track. In the second, they will understand that it isn't really something that can be fixed, but something that is out of their control- your preferences. You're allowed to have preferences, we all are. I just don't understand why it is so difficult to say "thanks, but the chemistry just isn't there for me and I don't want to waste your time, or mine, by trying to develop this relationship further."
No laundry list of what you dislike/hate about the person, but an honest taking of responsibility for your own feelings.

 

[juicylips]

I think this might fall under Relationship Purgatory..lol.

Most of us want to know WTF is going on.
JL

 

[Bindii]

I'd try not returning the calls for a while. But if they don't get the subtle hints, I guess you have to break out the neon sign.

Some people just don't get hints at all, and you have to spell it out for them. Poor souls.

If this is the amount of respect that you can show to a fellow human being then lets all pray that you don't get any more dates!

 

[JerseyBoy]

yes, being polite is the right thing to do but wouldn't it be nice to be able to once say "bugger off you asshole or this heel is going to end up up your butt"....with my luck he'd bend over and wait.

it's a bummer that it took you a couple of dates to find out he is an asshole...were there not any warning signs after date #1?

in any case, just dont leave him any room to argue the case.be firm. if he gets arguementative then you can be mean...

 

[DéjàNu]

I think I will revive my old Poll: At the end of a bad blind date, your....

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=86493&highlight=blind+date

 

[oceanbaby28]

yes, being polite is the right thing to do but wouldn't it be nice to be able to once say "bugger off you asshole or this heel is going to end up up your butt"....with my luck he'd bend over and wait.

LMAO

It would be nice to do that just once... Just make sure you're wearing one of those pointy tipped shoes.

 

[Naughty n Nice]

I'd be honest in a sugar coated kinda way. Otherwise he/she will keep calling and bugging you. That would be a lot more difficult to deal with then just being honest and parting ways.

 

[Orwell84]

Be truthful, but with tact and consideration.

 

[Pandora's Box]

JerseyBoy said it's a bummer that it took you a couple of dates to find out he is an asshole...were there not any warning signs after date #1?

actually i'm not going through this at this time, but a wonderful friend of mine is going through this and does often. she is absalutley beautiful inside and out and usually manages to pick up these dicks that are persistant on seeing her again.

it was a topic i posted to see what peoples views are on such a situation. so far it is interesting how very similar the answers are - 'be polite' which i agree with.

oceanbaby28 It would be nice to do that just once... Just make sure you're wearing one of those pointy tipped shoes.

.....big ouch..must show this to my friend she will get a big kick out of it, pun intended.