The Useless Information Thread

[Golden_Silence]

There are many reasons for reading peoples posts on the Internet. The above exchange is an example of the best reason in the world.

Absolutely classic. I will, of course, use that on a different board and claim it as my own, but remember ...

Creativity is slow ... plagiarism is quick ... life is short.

You may use my 'classic' I would hope that my humour can teach the world to think on its feet at times .. Now Mr Kylan, getting back to what we discussed earlier.....My fee

 

[wally2450]

WATER...... It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria found in feces, in other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, vodka, beer or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.

It is better to drink wine and talk shit than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information, I am doing it as a public service.

 

[Kylan]

You may use my 'classic' I would hope that my humour can teach the world to think on its feet at times .. Now Mr Kylan, getting back to what we discussed earlier.....My fee

Your fee ... of course. I shall gladly send you my credit card details once you send me yours. (Just so I know you're over 18. We can't be too careful on the Internet, you meet all sorts of people who like inflicting pain and taking advantage of innocent people like me.)

Always be careful where you insert your 'comma' in a closing sentence.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest. Hit him on the ankle with your shoe-lace until he kneels before you and thanks his God he's on his feet.

 

[wally2450]

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office... but she was dating someone else. "I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you." The girl looked at him, and then said, "NO!"

Eddie said, "I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her Boyfriend... so she called him and explained the situation.

Her boyfriend said, "Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down. Call me when you're finished." She agreed and accepted the proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened?!

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, "The bastard had all quarters!"


Management lesson: Always consider a business proposition in it's entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed.

 

[RavenousRae]

=====

 

[charmed1]

"Weird" Al Yankovic received a Bachelor's degree in Architecture in 1981. He also served as valedictorian of his high school at age 16.

 

[charmed1]

The oldest business in the United States of America is the cymbal company Zildjian which was founded in Constantinople in 1623.

 

[charmed1]

Contrary to popular belief, only one alligator has ever been found in the New York City sewer system. The 125 pound (57 kilogram) alligator was pulled out by four boys way back in 1935.

 

[charmed1]

~In four separate instances between October 1987 and February 1988, small pink frogs rained down from the sky on to various parts of Great Britain. Scientists are still uncertain as to where these frogs originated, although some have traced them back to the Sahara desert.


~Two hundred and twenty six soldiers lost their lives way back in 1850 when they crossed a suspension bridge that spanned the Maine at Angers, France. It turns out that they were all marching in step and had caused an increased resonance (vibration) to the bridge. Ever since, troops are ordered to rout step (march out of step) when crossing a bridge.

~Way back on August 13, 1903, police entered the Liverpool, England home of William and Emily Shortis. Worried friends had contacted the authorities because the couple had not been seen for several days prior. There they found William near death. Oddly, he was pinned under the dead body of his 224 pound wife. Did she die during a moment of passion? Not at all. The coroner concluded that William was following Emily up the stairs of their home when she lost her balance and tumbled down the steps, pulling him down with her. Emily immediately died from a blow to the head, trapping William under her body for over three days. Sadly, William did not survive his injuries, either.

 

[charmed1]

A 27 year old heir to a sausage empire was handed a ticket for 116,000 pounds for driving at 80 km/hr in a 40 km/hr zone. This is because the speeding tickets in Finland are based on how much money a person makes.

~In France, it is illegal for a person to kiss another on railways.

~In Israel, religious law forbids picking your nose on Sabbath

~In the 1985 Boise, Idaho mayoral election, there were four write-in votes for Mr. Potato Head.

~In Alabama, it is against the law to wear a fake mustache that could cause laughter in the church.

~In 1998, a law passed in the U.S. state of Virginia allows drivers to keep their road kill, as long as they report it within 12 hours.

 

[wally2450]

Silent gratitude isn't very much use to anyone. -
Gertrude Stein

 

[charmed1]

~The Canadian province of New Brunswick had a bloodless war with the US state of Maine in 1839

~During the 1600's, boys and girls in England wore dresses until they were about seven years old.

~In 1926, a waiter in Budapest committed suicide. He left his suicide note in the form of a crossword and the police had to get help from the public to solve it.

~In the 1550's, the Earl of Oxford, Edward de Vere, embarrassingly left to travel for seven years because he had accidently farted when he had bowed down to Queen Elizabeth I. When he returned the Queen said to him, "My Lord, I had forgot the fart."

~In the Great Fire of London in 1666, only six people were killed.

~In the Victoria era, red tulips were a declaration of love.

~Peter the Great executed his wife's lover, and forced her to keep her lover's head in a jar of alcohol in her bedroom.

 

[frostyred]

Squirrels only find about 10% of what they bury for future use. Yeah, I watch a lot of PBS. What about it?

 

[hdlynnette]

Tuesday, October 2, 2007
PEANUTS DAY


The renowned comic strip Peanuts, from the pen of cartoonist Charles Schulz, began on this day in 1950 in seven U.S. newspapers. The strip, for the United Features Syndicate, had only three characters at its inception: Charlie Brown, Peppermint Patty (Reichardt) and Shermy. The world’s most famous beagle, Snoopy, made his first appearance on October 4th.
Later, we were introduced to Linus, Lucy Van Pelt, Sally and Schroeder; and learned that the Peanuts gang came from the California town of Sebastopol, which really exists.

Charlie Brown starred in his own Broadway musical, You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown, along with the rest of the gang; and in several movies; and in several TV specials. A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and A Charlie Brown Christmas are rerun on TV year after year, no doubt attracting new audiences each time around.

Snoopy, everyone’s favorite character in the strip, became so famous that the comic strip, although titled, Peanuts, is often referred to as Snoopy.

The last Peanuts strip created by Charles Shultz, as he was set to retire, showed Snoopy at his typewriter surrounded by other Peanuts regulars. Snoopy was typing out a “Dear Friends” letter thanking readers:

“I have been grateful over the years for the loyalty of our editors and the wonderful support and love expressed to me by fans of the comic strip,” Schulz wrote. “Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Lucy ... how can I ever forget them ... ” It ended with his signature.

Charles Shultz died Feb 12, 2000 as the last strip was headed for newsstands. And readers of 2400 newspapers, in 68 countries, who speak in 26 different languages, read their beloved Peanuts through tears that turned to smiles as they recalled the wonderful moments those little children and our favorite dog, Snoopy gave us.

 

[kendra1980]

For every 'normal' webpage, there are five porn pages.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

 

[wally2450]

My mother never saw the irony in calling me son-of-a-bitch.

Jack
Nicholson

 

[Kylan]

The early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

 

[Golden_Silence]

Thank you everyone for your thoughful additions to this thread, Sorry I have not administrated it so well, Its Kylan you see, he 'owes' me for a future act of plagiarism, and I guess I may have to send the boys round to collect at some point

 

[Kylan]

Thank you everyone for your thoughful additions to this thread, Sorry I have not administrated it so well, Its Kylan you see, he 'owes' me for a future act of plagiarism, and I guess I may have to send the boys round to collect at some point

I shall look forward to seeing them and discussing the matter over a relaxing Earl Grey.


Never split pair 10s, Js, Qs or Ks at a Blackjack table, regardless of what the dealer is showing.

 

[wally2450]

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico . Two million Mexicans have died and
over a million are injured.
The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with asking for help to rebuild.
The rest of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.
The European community (except France ) is sending food and money.
The United States , not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Mexican

 

[sexy_hot_babe]

Useless birth control info:

The ancient Romans had a very effective method. Women were instructed to jump, cough, and sneeze immediately after intercourse!

 

[Kylan]

Useless birth control info:

The ancient Romans had a very effective method. Women were instructed to jump, cough, and sneeze immediately after intercourse!

Damn, and all these years I thought it was during intercourse!!

To grow healthy, vigorous grass, seed the cracks of your concrete path.