The Useless Information Thread

[Golden_Silence]

From space, the brightest man-made place is Las Vegas, Nevada.

Really?? Never knew that, now I guess we know where to send the greenpeace activists to carry on their carbon footprint mumbo jumbo

 

[Golden_Silence]

Seems the cold air firms a lot of things up.

Water for one....

 

[wally2450]

Not useless-sad

The American Thinker

September 26, 2007

Banning Boyhood

By Selwyn Duke
Huck Finn must be spinning in his literary grave. Just recently a Colorado Springs, Co., elementary school banned tag during recess, joining other schools that have prohibited this childhood pastime. Upon hearing this, I thought about the movement to ban cops and robbers, musical chairs, steal the bacon, and the kill-joys' most frequent target and this writer's favorite childhood school game, dodge ball. Then there's the more inane still, such as the decision by the Massachusetts Youth Soccer Association to prohibit keeping score in kids' tournament play.

There are many ways to describe this trend. One might say it's a result of the left's antipathy toward competition, the increasing litigiousness of the day, or the inordinate concern with self-esteem and hurt feelings. Then, if I am to speak only of my feelings, the word stupid comes to mind. Really, though, regardless of whether the motivations are good or ill or the reasoning sound or not, at the end of the day I find a conclusion inescapable. Slowly, incrementally, perversely, boyhood is being banned.

Make no mistake, the aforementioned examples are not isolated social accidents but part of a pattern. Recently I was talking to a friend who has two young sons, and he mentioned how he bought their toy machine-gun and revolver at a garage sale. He and his wife remarked about how it was the only way to find realistic-looking toy guns nowadays, the kind that were staples of Boydom when I was a lad. Oh, toy guns can still be seen -- that is, when they aren't prohibited by crime-ridden cities or crazy moms -- but they don't resemble anything John Wayne would have wielded. Often misshapen, more and more they come only in colors that, well, men aren't known for being acquainted with, ones that some would describe as "girly."

Getting back to the People's Republic of Massachusetts' soccer league, it was so concerned about the poor little eggs' feelings that it also decided no one should get trophies. This isn't unusual, as the practice of awarding trophies to all or none is now often adopted, lest a tear run down a cherubic face. Moreover, frowning upon competition - which boys thrive on --isn't limited to frivolous pursuits, as schools increasingly dispense with merit-based academic models in favor of schemes such as "Outcome Based Education" (it's nothing like what it sounds).

No doubt some will chide me for casting these preferences as being characteristically male. Sure, not every boy craves competition any more than every girl eschews it, but the sexes are different. Boys love games, sports and locking horns; they love hierarchies and high-fives; they love guns, soldiers and shoot-‘em-up games. Namely, they love things that are slowly being taken away from them or curtailed.

As I indicated earlier, there are many reasons why we've departed from sanity. The threat of litigation is real, and this article cites the case of seven-year-old Heather Lindaman, whose parents are suing their school because she broke her elbow while playing a variation of dodge ball. The opponents of such games use cases like Lindaman's to buttress the assertion that they are too dangerous for children. I'll only say that this is hogwash -- as all activities entail risk -- because it's irrelevant to my main point. Regardless of why these prohibitions are instituted, the end result is the same: Boys' passions are being exiled. Dangerous? You may as well just say that boyhood is dangerous.

Of course, we could do what one school that banned dodge ball did: Switch to yogic exercises. Wow! And liberals say that conservatives are no fun? Why is it that the most childish understand childhood the least?

While leftists may be childish, they conjure up pseudo-intellectual reasons for their social engineering like seasoned psycho-babblers. Tag leads to "conflict on the playground" and some students being chased "against their will," said Cindy Fesgen, assistant principal of the Discovery Canyon Campus in Colorado Springs (my particular discovery is that the school is run by lunkheads). Dodge ball is emotionally damaging to less athletic children; it "hurts their self-esteem," is how it's usually put. David Limbaugh wrote about this attitude:

Diane Farr, a curriculum specialist in Austin, Texas, explained that her school district implemented the [dodge ball] ban to satisfy a panel of professors, students and parents who wanted to ‘preserve the rights and dignity' of all students in the district. So dodge ball is a dignity thief? Of course, claims Farr. ‘What we have seen is that it does not make students feel good about themselves.'

There's more. According to one anti-dodge ball crusader, ‘at its base, the game encourages the strong to victimize the weak. ... Schools preach the values of harmony, community and cooperation. But then those same schools let the big kids loose to see if they can hit the skinny nerd in the head with a hard, red rubber ball.'


Call me crazy, but the people who disgorge these notions just must have been skinny nerds in school. That is, the variety without the brains or ambition to be Bill Gates.

Limbaugh continues,

"Educators also fear that dodge ball is not only violent, but that it and other games convey ‘a message of violence.'

‘With Columbine and all the violence that we are having, we have to be careful with how we teach our children,' says Farr."


We certainly do, and that's why we should keep them far from Farr and her ilk. These crackpots are just a few degraded brain cells away from saying (about football) that "violent ground acquisition games are a neo-fascist metaphor for war."

Just as outrageous as these prohibitions is the persecution of hapless lads who run afoul of them. Limbaugh wrote of this as well:

The Washington Times recently detailed a litany of examples, including: a threatened suspension in California of a 9-year-old for playing cops and robbers, two New York 2nd-graders suspended and criminally charged with making terrorist threats for pointing paper guns and saying, ‘I'm going to kill you,' and a 9-year-old New Jersey boy suspended and ordered to undergo psychological evaluation because he told another student that he planned to shoot a classmate with spitballs.

Could it be any clearer? They are diagnosing normal boyhood behavior as a psychological problem. After all, even if little boys don't have toy guns, how many won't point a stick or their finger at you and say "Bang, bang, you're dead!"? It's also interesting to note that the very same people who will lecture us for not subscribing to the notion that homosexual behavior is innate and healthy will swear that this normal boyish behavior is learned and destructive.

Then there is that which is truly destructive. It's something dark, a motivation that lurks in the hearts of many who advocate this insanity. To wit: There is an increasingly common antipathy for all things male, especially in academia. This attitude was highlighted by Christina Hoff Summers in her book The War Against Boys. Summers cites feminists such as Carol Gilligan, who believes that we should, as Summers puts it, "... civilize boys by diminishing their masculinity," and Gloria Steinem, who counsels us to "Raise boys like we raise girls." And in this category I would also put certain men such as Harvard psychologist William Pollock, who wrote the book Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood. Really, our children do need to be rescued from myths, but they're not of boyhood.

We should also realize that education has increasingly become a feminine domain. While in 1982 there were 1.4 female teachers for every male, now the figure is 2.1. This is not to imply that the fairer sex can't have a sound teaching philosophy, but the fact is that far too many young women today are in the grip of feminist dogma. Moreover, the type of women who become teachers is also an issue; for instance, let us consider graduates with degrees in Women's Studies. Such people are mostly women, and since there aren't many careers available to those with such illustrious qualifications, many of these ideologues decide to teach.

And the problem with such individuals is that -- just as an Afrocentrist views matters through the prism of race and a Jihadist through that of believers versus infidels -- they tend to see everything as a battle of the sexes. In their minds, the ever-present "patriarchy" will only be vanquished and women liberated (of course, they will never see this as having been achieved) once boys are sufficiently reprogrammed. Masculine traits that may enable boys to be dominant must be quashed, because otherwise they may dominate women. These are people like Swedish politician Gudrun Schyman, who said that Swedish men were like the Taliban. The truth is that the women in question are the Femiban.

Many will protest, of course, insisting that anti-male bias doesn't rule their minds. And perhaps it doesn't in some cases. But their hearts are a different matter, complex and containing biases that aren't always so conscious; rather, it may be more a matter of visceral dislike, a feeling. The liberals in question see masculine symbols and behavior and feel an aversion, in much the same way a person with a fear of heights may get a queasy feeling upon seeing airplanes or tall buildings. So, unwilling to confront their prejudices, they manufacture excuses. Dodge ball is dangerous, cops and robbers is violent, musical chairs is exclusive, tag terrorizes. If only they would be intellectually honest and reveal their true feelings: Boys are bad.

Perhaps this is why these social engineers will see a bevy of boisterous boys and want to douse their masculinity with Ritalin.

 

[Golden_Silence]

If you like to shred fresh mozzarella cheese and find those block are a bit too 'spongy,' put it in the freezer for 15 minutes....firms that sucker right up and makes shredding a lot easier.

Hi and thanks for that tip.... I'll remember that one for the pizza later

 

[Golden_Silence]

The American Thinker

September 26, 2007

Banning Boyhood

By Selwyn Duke
Huck Finn must be spinning in his literary grave. Just recently a Colorado Springs, Co., elementary school banned tag during recess, joining other schools that have prohibited this childhood pastime. Upon hearing this, I thought about the movement to ban cops and robbers, musical chairs, steal the bacon, and the kill-joys' most frequent target and this writer's favorite childhood school game, dodge ball. Then there's the more inane still, such as the decision by the Massachusetts Youth Soccer Association to prohibit keeping score in kids' tournament play.

There are many ways to describe this trend. One might say it's a result of the left's antipathy toward competition, the increasing litigiousness of the day, or the inordinate concern with self-esteem and hurt feelings. Then, if I am to speak only of my feelings, the word stupid comes to mind. Really, though, regardless of whether the motivations are good or ill or the reasoning sound or not, at the end of the day I find a conclusion inescapable. Slowly, incrementally, perversely, boyhood is being banned.

Make no mistake, the aforementioned examples are not isolated social accidents but part of a pattern. Recently I was talking to a friend who has two young sons, and he mentioned how he bought their toy machine-gun and revolver at a garage sale. He and his wife remarked about how it was the only way to find realistic-looking toy guns nowadays, the kind that were staples of Boydom when I was a lad. Oh, toy guns can still be seen -- that is, when they aren't prohibited by crime-ridden cities or crazy moms -- but they don't resemble anything John Wayne would have wielded. Often misshapen, more and more they come only in colors that, well, men aren't known for being acquainted with, ones that some would describe as "girly."

Getting back to the People's Republic of Massachusetts' soccer league, it was so concerned about the poor little eggs' feelings that it also decided no one should get trophies. This isn't unusual, as the practice of awarding trophies to all or none is now often adopted, lest a tear run down a cherubic face. Moreover, frowning upon competition - which boys thrive on --isn't limited to frivolous pursuits, as schools increasingly dispense with merit-based academic models in favor of schemes such as "Outcome Based Education" (it's nothing like what it sounds).

No doubt some will chide me for casting these preferences as being characteristically male. Sure, not every boy craves competition any more than every girl eschews it, but the sexes are different. Boys love games, sports and locking horns; they love hierarchies and high-fives; they love guns, soldiers and shoot-‘em-up games. Namely, they love things that are slowly being taken away from them or curtailed.

As I indicated earlier, there are many reasons why we've departed from sanity. The threat of litigation is real, and this article cites the case of seven-year-old Heather Lindaman, whose parents are suing their school because she broke her elbow while playing a variation of dodge ball. The opponents of such games use cases like Lindaman's to buttress the assertion that they are too dangerous for children. I'll only say that this is hogwash -- as all activities entail risk -- because it's irrelevant to my main point. Regardless of why these prohibitions are instituted, the end result is the same: Boys' passions are being exiled. Dangerous? You may as well just say that boyhood is dangerous.

Of course, we could do what one school that banned dodge ball did: Switch to yogic exercises. Wow! And liberals say that conservatives are no fun? Why is it that the most childish understand childhood the least?

While leftists may be childish, they conjure up pseudo-intellectual reasons for their social engineering like seasoned psycho-babblers. Tag leads to "conflict on the playground" and some students being chased "against their will," said Cindy Fesgen, assistant principal of the Discovery Canyon Campus in Colorado Springs (my particular discovery is that the school is run by lunkheads). Dodge ball is emotionally damaging to less athletic children; it "hurts their self-esteem," is how it's usually put. David Limbaugh wrote about this attitude:

Diane Farr, a curriculum specialist in Austin, Texas, explained that her school district implemented the [dodge ball] ban to satisfy a panel of professors, students and parents who wanted to ‘preserve the rights and dignity' of all students in the district. So dodge ball is a dignity thief? Of course, claims Farr. ‘What we have seen is that it does not make students feel good about themselves.'

There's more. According to one anti-dodge ball crusader, ‘at its base, the game encourages the strong to victimize the weak. ... Schools preach the values of harmony, community and cooperation. But then those same schools let the big kids loose to see if they can hit the skinny nerd in the head with a hard, red rubber ball.'


Call me crazy, but the people who disgorge these notions just must have been skinny nerds in school. That is, the variety without the brains or ambition to be Bill Gates.

Limbaugh continues,

"Educators also fear that dodge ball is not only violent, but that it and other games convey ‘a message of violence.'

‘With Columbine and all the violence that we are having, we have to be careful with how we teach our children,' says Farr."


We certainly do, and that's why we should keep them far from Farr and her ilk. These crackpots are just a few degraded brain cells away from saying (about football) that "violent ground acquisition games are a neo-fascist metaphor for war."

Just as outrageous as these prohibitions is the persecution of hapless lads who run afoul of them. Limbaugh wrote of this as well:

The Washington Times recently detailed a litany of examples, including: a threatened suspension in California of a 9-year-old for playing cops and robbers, two New York 2nd-graders suspended and criminally charged with making terrorist threats for pointing paper guns and saying, ‘I'm going to kill you,' and a 9-year-old New Jersey boy suspended and ordered to undergo psychological evaluation because he told another student that he planned to shoot a classmate with spitballs.

Could it be any clearer? They are diagnosing normal boyhood behavior as a psychological problem. After all, even if little boys don't have toy guns, how many won't point a stick or their finger at you and say "Bang, bang, you're dead!"? It's also interesting to note that the very same people who will lecture us for not subscribing to the notion that homosexual behavior is innate and healthy will swear that this normal boyish behavior is learned and destructive.

Then there is that which is truly destructive. It's something dark, a motivation that lurks in the hearts of many who advocate this insanity. To wit: There is an increasingly common antipathy for all things male, especially in academia. This attitude was highlighted by Christina Hoff Summers in her book The War Against Boys. Summers cites feminists such as Carol Gilligan, who believes that we should, as Summers puts it, "... civilize boys by diminishing their masculinity," and Gloria Steinem, who counsels us to "Raise boys like we raise girls." And in this category I would also put certain men such as Harvard psychologist William Pollock, who wrote the book Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood. Really, our children do need to be rescued from myths, but they're not of boyhood.

We should also realize that education has increasingly become a feminine domain. While in 1982 there were 1.4 female teachers for every male, now the figure is 2.1. This is not to imply that the fairer sex can't have a sound teaching philosophy, but the fact is that far too many young women today are in the grip of feminist dogma. Moreover, the type of women who become teachers is also an issue; for instance, let us consider graduates with degrees in Women's Studies. Such people are mostly women, and since there aren't many careers available to those with such illustrious qualifications, many of these ideologues decide to teach.

And the problem with such individuals is that -- just as an Afrocentrist views matters through the prism of race and a Jihadist through that of believers versus infidels -- they tend to see everything as a battle of the sexes. In their minds, the ever-present "patriarchy" will only be vanquished and women liberated (of course, they will never see this as having been achieved) once boys are sufficiently reprogrammed. Masculine traits that may enable boys to be dominant must be quashed, because otherwise they may dominate women. These are people like Swedish politician Gudrun Schyman, who said that Swedish men were like the Taliban. The truth is that the women in question are the Femiban.

Many will protest, of course, insisting that anti-male bias doesn't rule their minds. And perhaps it doesn't in some cases. But their hearts are a different matter, complex and containing biases that aren't always so conscious; rather, it may be more a matter of visceral dislike, a feeling. The liberals in question see masculine symbols and behavior and feel an aversion, in much the same way a person with a fear of heights may get a queasy feeling upon seeing airplanes or tall buildings. So, unwilling to confront their prejudices, they manufacture excuses. Dodge ball is dangerous, cops and robbers is violent, musical chairs is exclusive, tag terrorizes. If only they would be intellectually honest and reveal their true feelings: Boys are bad.

Perhaps this is why these social engineers will see a bevy of boisterous boys and want to douse their masculinity with Ritalin.

Jesus Wally, I have got to read all that to see whether it is useless or not

 

[Kylan]

Been way too long Kylan!

I'm well thanks, hope you are too.



~~~~~~~~~~

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates mating by ripping the male's head off.

It has indeed. I'm ridiculously well ... still waiting on that breakfast you promised to cook way back though ...

Fascinating how much females across the species have in common.

Don't count your chickens man EVERYTHING has a price one way or the other - This advice was free, I am not an accountant per se, I am more the brown bag kinda guy, I make the bloody accounts up for some overpaid, underskilled jackass to approve later on..... go figure

^^^^ See, I can even throw financial adjectives into a response

Hi Golden_Silence, your day's been well I hope.

Yup, I'm anyone's for 15 wine gums. Accursed alcohol.

If you hear the sentence, "Can I ask you a question?" you don't have a choice in the matter.

 

[MsTexas]

It has indeed. I'm ridiculously well ... still waiting on that breakfast you promised to cook way back though ...

Fascinating how much females across the species have in common.

LOL ... seems you have a better memory then me.

Oh and for the record, I dont rip of his head, it comes in handy later.

 

[Golden_Silence]

It has indeed. I'm ridiculously well ... still waiting on that breakfast you promised to cook way back though ...

Fascinating how much females across the species have in common.

I was thinking the same thing myself I do hope my girl don't get any ideas

Hi Golden_Silence, your day's been well I hope.

Yup, I'm anyone's for 15 wine gums. Accursed alcohol.

If you hear the sentence, "Can I ask you a question?" you don't have a choice in the matter.

Seems you have had a pay rise then, Essa waws just saying the other day......

And as for the ask a question, no, they just did and my answer is just that, 'You get to ask one, and that was it'

 

[Kylan]

LOL ... seems you have a better memory then me.

Oh and for the record, I dont rip of his head, it comes in handy later.

If you suffer amnesia, it's important to remember to tell people.

That's very reassuring, a bit like me saying. "I'm going to light this candle in case we have a power-cut."

 

[Golden_Silence]

LOL ... seems you have a better memory then me.

Oh and for the record, I dont rip of his head, it comes in handy later.

You kind of like a man to be able to think huh??

 

[Golden_Silence]

If you suffer amnesia, it's important to remember to tell people.

Tell them what??

 

[MsTexas]

If you suffer amnesia, it's important to remember to tell people.

That's very reassuring, a bit like me saying. "I'm going to light this candle in case we have a power-cut."

LOL ... cant say that I've ever heard that one.

 

[MsTexas]

You kind of like a man to be able to think huh??

Yeppers ... its usually in the top 5 requirements.

 

[his_lil_secret]

there is no word in the English language that rhymes with the word orange.

 

[wally2450]

http://www.madville.com/link.php?id=173002&t=14

Description Of Sexual Fantasy Changing With Girlfriend's Reaction

September 15, 2007 | Issue 43•37




HOUSTON—Local resident Ethan Kendler's description of his sexual fantasies to girlfriend Rebecca LaBatt veered awkwardly from the kinky to the banal Sunday, as a raunchy but emotionally honest expression of carnal desire degenerated into inoffensive, marginally erotic entreaties.

"We meet up with your friends Kelly and Tiffany at a bar, or just Kelly, actually, and we get kind of drunk," said Kendler, 25, a bike shop technician, as he snuggled with LaBatt in his one-bedroom apartment. "While we're playing pool, she bends over to line up her shot and we notice she's not wearing any panties."
Enlarge Image Sexual Fantasy

"That's when we decide that she's had too much to drink and escort her home," added Kendler, who had quickly noted LaBatt's silent reaction. "Because it's not safe for her to walk home alone at night."

Kendler, who has been dating LaBatt, 26, since May, reportedly leaped at her invitation to share his sexual fantasies, eager to divulge the various scenarios of voyeurism and exhibitionism he had kept to himself for a decade. But his shyness soon returned last week after a description of spying on his girlfriend through her door while she fondled herself caused the corners of LaBatt's mouth to turn down slightly. Kendler muttered that he was "just kidding" and quickly abandoned the scenario.

"So on the way home from dropping off Kelly, ensuring that she safely gets inside her apartment, we pass through a dark alley and I tie you up," Kendler said. "With the gentle embrace of my arms. And I hold you tight as a soft mist covers us. And my hand moves toward your, your hand so I can pull, or guide you willingly, back to my place, and climb into my nice big warm bed."

Alarmed that LaBatt had not met his gaze for several seconds, Kendler chose not to relate his desire to dress her like a schoolgirl, apply nipple clamps, and play sadistic headmaster.

A desperate Kendler quickly cast his eyes around his apartment in search of something that could move the fantasy in a different, mutually satisfying direction.

"There's whipped cream in the refrigerator," said Kendler, encouraged by a fleeting gleam in LaBatt's eye. "I spray some on your…whatever you prefer to call your vagina. Then I get out my camera and make sure it's turned off."

Kendler also substituted the word "lovingly" for the words "roughly," "eagerly," and "thoroughly," and perhaps demonstrated too much sensitivity towards the fact that LaBatt has a twin sister.

Kendler showed signs of achieving a possible sex-fantasy breakthrough when he began talking about using sex toys in his and LaBatt's lovemaking, and then embarked on a spanking scenario. Fearing that LaBatt might suspect that he was talking about his ex-girlfriend, however, he cut his digression short and settled on describing a romantic candlelight dinner.

"I put my finger up your—" said Kendler, choking back the word "ass." "Lips. Up to your lips. Like, to hush you, because the moment is so awe-inspiring. Then I move my hand to the back of your head and, um, stroke your hair. And then we make gentle, respectful, beautiful love. Then we cuddle. And that's what my fantasy is."

The discussion culminated with the couple engaging in enthusiastic, but otherwise routine missionary-position sex, which LaBatt described in a Monday phone interview as "nice, but not that different from anything we've done before."

"I was really surprised by how tender his fantasy was," LaBatt said. "I was giving off all these body-language cues to get him to talk dirty—but I guess he's just naturally sweet and old-fashioned. I was really hoping he would talk about tying me up and fucking me in the ass. Is it just me, or are guys complete pussies?"

 

[Golden_Silence]

http://www.madville.com/link.php?id=173002&t=14

Description Of Sexual Fantasy Changing With Girlfriend's Reaction

September 15, 2007 | Issue 43•37




HOUSTON—Local resident Ethan Kendler's description of his sexual fantasies to girlfriend Rebecca LaBatt veered awkwardly from the kinky to the banal Sunday, as a raunchy but emotionally honest expression of carnal desire degenerated into inoffensive, marginally erotic entreaties.

"We meet up with your friends Kelly and Tiffany at a bar, or just Kelly, actually, and we get kind of drunk," said Kendler, 25, a bike shop technician, as he snuggled with LaBatt in his one-bedroom apartment. "While we're playing pool, she bends over to line up her shot and we notice she's not wearing any panties."
Enlarge Image Sexual Fantasy

"That's when we decide that she's had too much to drink and escort her home," added Kendler, who had quickly noted LaBatt's silent reaction. "Because it's not safe for her to walk home alone at night."

Kendler, who has been dating LaBatt, 26, since May, reportedly leaped at her invitation to share his sexual fantasies, eager to divulge the various scenarios of voyeurism and exhibitionism he had kept to himself for a decade. But his shyness soon returned last week after a description of spying on his girlfriend through her door while she fondled herself caused the corners of LaBatt's mouth to turn down slightly. Kendler muttered that he was "just kidding" and quickly abandoned the scenario.

"So on the way home from dropping off Kelly, ensuring that she safely gets inside her apartment, we pass through a dark alley and I tie you up," Kendler said. "With the gentle embrace of my arms. And I hold you tight as a soft mist covers us. And my hand moves toward your, your hand so I can pull, or guide you willingly, back to my place, and climb into my nice big warm bed."

Alarmed that LaBatt had not met his gaze for several seconds, Kendler chose not to relate his desire to dress her like a schoolgirl, apply nipple clamps, and play sadistic headmaster.

A desperate Kendler quickly cast his eyes around his apartment in search of something that could move the fantasy in a different, mutually satisfying direction.

"There's whipped cream in the refrigerator," said Kendler, encouraged by a fleeting gleam in LaBatt's eye. "I spray some on your…whatever you prefer to call your vagina. Then I get out my camera and make sure it's turned off."

Kendler also substituted the word "lovingly" for the words "roughly," "eagerly," and "thoroughly," and perhaps demonstrated too much sensitivity towards the fact that LaBatt has a twin sister.

Kendler showed signs of achieving a possible sex-fantasy breakthrough when he began talking about using sex toys in his and LaBatt's lovemaking, and then embarked on a spanking scenario. Fearing that LaBatt might suspect that he was talking about his ex-girlfriend, however, he cut his digression short and settled on describing a romantic candlelight dinner.

"I put my finger up your—" said Kendler, choking back the word "ass." "Lips. Up to your lips. Like, to hush you, because the moment is so awe-inspiring. Then I move my hand to the back of your head and, um, stroke your hair. And then we make gentle, respectful, beautiful love. Then we cuddle. And that's what my fantasy is."

The discussion culminated with the couple engaging in enthusiastic, but otherwise routine missionary-position sex, which LaBatt described in a Monday phone interview as "nice, but not that different from anything we've done before."

"I was really surprised by how tender his fantasy was," LaBatt said. "I was giving off all these body-language cues to get him to talk dirty—but I guess he's just naturally sweet and old-fashioned. I was really hoping he would talk about tying me up and fucking me in the ass. Is it just me, or are guys complete pussies?"

ROFL - Thanks for that Wally

 

[Kylan]

Tell them what??

Never ask questions that you already know the answer to. If you do, the person that knows you know, will, you know ... know.

I have no idea, I've forgotten.

 

[MsTexas]

there is no word in the English language that rhymes with the word orange.

Nothing rhymes with Month either

 

[Golden_Silence]

Never ask questions that you already know the answer to. If you do, the person that knows you know, will, you know ... know.

I have no idea, I've forgotten.

I haven't the foggiest what you are talking about... Who are you again??

 

[Golden_Silence]

Nothing rhymes with Month either

Depends if you are talking about a collective group of female bits with a lisp... if you are and you do, you can

for example - 'What a bunch of cunth'

 

[MsTexas]

Depends if you are talking about female bits with a lisp... if you are and you do, you can

LMAO

Thats just classic!

 

[wally2450]

Remember this?

How things should still be!

Close your eyes...And go back...

....Before the Internet or PC or the MAC......

....Before semi-automatics and crack....

....Before Playstation, SEGA, Super Nintendo, even
before Atari...

....Before cell phones, CD's, DVD's, voicemail and
e-mail....

....way back....

....way..... way.....way back.....

I'm talkin' about:

Hide and seek at dusk

Red light, Green light

Red Rover....Red Rover.....

Playing kickball & dodge ball until the first...
no.. .second.. .no...third streetlight came on

Ring around the Rosie

London Bridge

Hot potato

Hop Scotch

Jump rope

Duck....duck. ...GOOSE! !!

YOU'RE IT!!

Parents stood on the front porch and yelled
(or whistled) for you to come home - no
pagers or cell phones

Mother May I?

Hula Hoops

Seeing shapes in the clouds

Endless summer days and hot summer
nights (no A/C) with the windows open

The sound of crickets

Running through the sprinkler

Cereal boxes with that GREAT prize
in the bottom

Cracker jacks with the same thing

Ice pops with 2 sticks you could break
and share with a friend

...but wait.....there' s more....

Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons -
Fat Albert, Road Runner, Tom & Jerry,
Heckle & Jeckle, Pink Panther, Richochet
Rabbit, Schoolhouse Rock!

Watchin' Sunday morning oldies -
Abbott & Costello, Three Stooges,
Tarzan, Shirley Temple!

Wonder Woman & Super Man
Underoos

Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar

Your first day of school

Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight
Kisses

Climbing trees

Swinging as high as you could
to try and reach the sky

Getting an Ice Cream off the
Good Humor Truck

A million mosquito bites and
sticky fingers

Jumpin' down the steps

Jumpin' on the bed

Pillow fights

Sleep-overs

A 13" black and white TV
in your room meant you
were RICH

Runnin' till you were out
of breath

Laughing so hard that your
stomach hurt

Being tired from PLAYING

WORK: meant taking out the
garbage or doing the dishes

Your first crush

Your first kiss (the one that you
kept your mouth CLOSED and
your eyes OPEN)

Rainy days at school meant playing
"Heads up 7UP" or hangman" in
the classroom, remember that?

Oh, I'm not finished yet....

Kool-Aid was the drink of the
summer

So was a swig from the hose

Giving your friends a ride on
your handlebars

Wearing your new shoes on
the first day of school

Class Field Trips with soggy
sandwiches

When nearly everyone's mom
was at home when the kids
got there

When a quarter seemed like
a fair allowance; and another
quarter a MIRACLE

When ANY parent could discipline ANY
kid, or feed him, or use him to carry
groceries... And nobody, not even the
kid, thought a thing of it.

When being sent to the principal's
office was nothing compared to the
fate that awaited you at home.

Basically, we were in fear for our lives
but it wasn't because of drive by shootings,
drugs, gangs, etc.

Our parents and grandparents were a much
bigger threat! And some of us are still
afraid of em!

Didn't that feel good? Just to go back and
say, "Yeah, I remember that!"

Well, let's keep going!!

Let's go back to the time when...

Decisions were made by going
"eeny-meeny- miney-mo"

Mistakes were corrected by simply
exclaiming, "do over!"

"Race issues" meant arguing about
who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by
whoever was the banker in "monopoly"

Catching fireflies could happily
occupy an entire evening

It wasn't odd to have two or three
"best" friends.

Being old, referred to anyone over 20.

The worst thing you could catch from
the opposite sex was cooties.

Nobody was prettier than Mom

Scrapes and bruises were kissed by
mom or grandma and made better

It was a big deal to finally be tall enough
to ride the "big people" rides at the
amusement park.

Getting a foot of snow was a dream
come true.

Abilities were discovered because of a
"double-dog- dare"

Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling
down was cause for giggles.

The worst embarrassment was being picked
last for a team.

Water balloons were the ultimate, ultimate
weapon.

Older siblings were your worst tormentors, but
also your fiercest protector

If you can remember most or all of these, then
you have LIVED!!!

Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from
their "grown up" life......I TRIPLE DOG DARE YA!!!!!!

You can't lick your elbow.

 

[hdlynnette]

Today in History...

Events
September 23
1779 - You’ve heard the expression, “I have not yet begun to fight.” Well, if you thought that John Paul Jones said those words, you were right. He spoke them in a Revolutionary War battle when, as commander of the American warship, Bonhomme Richard, he led the victory over the British warship, H.M.S. Serapis.

1846 - The planet Neptune was first observed. Although the planet is about 30 times further away from the sun than we are on planet Earth, German astronomer Johann Gottfried Galle spotted it. How’d he do that?

1908 - The baseball term, “Merkle’s Boner” and the expression, “You’re a bonehead,” had their origins on this day -- at the final game of the National League pennant race between the Chicago Cubs and the New York Giants. The Giants were at bat, two men were on base and the score was tied 1-1. The batter hit safely, scoring the winning run. But, Chicago claimed that Fred Merkle, who had been on first, never advanced to second, that he went straight to the dugout upon seeing the winning run come in. Chicago Cubs’ Johnny Evers tried to tag Merkle but was hampered by hundreds of fans pouring on to the field. Fans called the play a ‘boner’, etc. (It was later decided that the game was a tie, and the teams met again for a playoff, a 4-2 Cubs win.)

1912 - Mack Sennett’s Keystone studio opened, complete with Keystone Kops.

1923 - Jan Savitt and his orchestra recorded 720 in the Books on Decca Records.

1930 - Flashbulbs were patented by Johannes Ostermeier of Athegnenber, Germany. Now that’s an invention that used to be very popular in the little box cameras. You popped the bulb into the socket in front of a silver reflector dish. The bulb would get all crinkly looking and milky white in color after it was used (you could only use it once). Then the bulbs were replaced by flash cubes and now, the automatic flash is built into the camera. So easy to use ... but not half as much fun.

1952 - Rocky Marciano became the world heavyweight boxing champion by knocking out Jersey Joe Walcott in the 13th round in Philadelphia PA. It was Rocky’s 43rd consecutive victory.

1952 - Pay Television for sporting events began -- with the Marciano-Walcott fight, coast to coast, in 49 theatres in 31 cities.

1967 - The Box Tops from Memphis hit #1 with The Letter. Though the song was #1 for four weeks and remained on the charts for 13 weeks. The Box Tops reorganized right after that first hit and never made it to #1 again.

1971 - The Honey Cone scored their second gold record with Stick-Up on the Hot Wax label. It was a follow-up to their #1 smash, Want Ads (June 12, 1971).

1986 - NBC-TV won the ratings race for the 52-week season (1985-1986). The Cosby Show and Family Ties rated #1 and #2 respectively that year. NBC repeated the feat the following year and The Cosby Show remained number one through the 1989-1990 season.

1998 - Shadrach, from Columbia Pictures, opened in U.S. theatres. Based on the short story by William Styron, it’s about a 99-year-old former slave (Shadrach) who wants to be buried on the plantation where he was born into slavery. Harvey Keitel, Andie Macdowell, John Franklin Sawyer, Scott Terra, Daniel Treat and Monica Bugajski star.




Birthdays
September 23
1713 - Ferdinand VI
King of Spain [1746-1759]; died in August 1759

1800 - William Holmes McGuffy
educator, author: McGuffy Readers [122 million copies sold as of 1999]; 4th president of Ohio University; died May 4, 1873

1889 - Walter Lippmann
journalist, political commentator; died Dec 14, 1974

1897 - Walter Pidgeon
Mrs. Miniver, Funny Girl, Hit the Deck, How Green was My Valley, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea; died Sep 25, 1984

1899 - Louise Nevelson
sculptor: Windows to the West, Tropical Tree III, Mirror-Shadow XI, Tropical Night Disc; died Apr 17, 1988

1920 - Mickey Rooney (Joe Yule, Jr.)
actor: Will Roger’s Follies, Boy’s Town, Captains Courageous, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, The Human Comedy, The Black Stallion, Babes in Arms, Babes on Broadway, Andy Hardy series

1926 - John (William) Coltrane
composer, musician: tenor & soprano sax: Stablemates, Softly as in a Morning Sunrise, Greensleeves, Chim Chim Cheree, In a Sentimental Mood, LPs: Kind of Blue, Giant Steps, My Favorite Things; died July 17, 1967

1930 - Colin Blakely
actor: Murder on the Orient Express, The Pink Panther Strikes Again, The Dogs of War, Equus; died May 7, 1987

1930 - Ray Charles (Robinson)
‘The Genius’: Grammy Award-winning singer: Georgia on My Mind [1960], Let the Good Times Roll [1960], Genius of Ray Charles [1960], Hit the Road Jack [1961], I Can’t Stop Loving You [1962], Busted [1963], Crying Time [1966], Living for the City [1975], Lifetime Achievement Award of 1986, I’ll be Good to You [w/Chaka Khan - 1990]; What’d I Say, One Mint Julep, Take These Chains from My Heart, You Don’t Know Me; actor: The Blues Brothers, Ballad in Blue, Limit Up; died June 10, 2004

1931 - Pat Suzuki
actress: Skullduggery, Mr. T. and Tina

1935 - Les McCann
musician, singer: Compared to What, Bang, Bang!, Cold Duck

1938 - Romy Schneider (Rosemarie Magdelena Albach-Retty)
actress: What’s New Pussycat?, Bloodline, Death Watch, La Passante; died May 29, 1982

1941 - Bob Vogel
football: Baltimore Colts tackle: Super Bowl III, V

1942 - Jim (James Phillip) Rooker
baseball: pitcher: Detroit Tigers, KC Royals, Pittsburgh Pirates [World Series: 1979]

1942 - Woody (William Frederick) Woodward
baseball: Milwaukee Braves, Atlanta Braves, Cincinnati Reds

1943 - Steve Boone
musician: bass, singer: group: The Lovin’ Spoonful: Do You Believe in Magic, You Didn’t Have to Be So Nice, Daydream, Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind, Summer in the City, Rain on the Roof, Nashville Cats, Darling Be Home Soon

1943 - Julio Iglesias
singer: To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before [w/Willie Nelson]; Guinness Book of Records: sales of more than 100 million copies of 60 LPs in five languages; soccer: professional goalie [Spain]

1944 - Oscar (Jose) Zamora
baseball: pitcher: Chicago Cubs, Houston Astros

1945 - Ronald Bushy
musician: drums: group: Iron Butterfly: In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida

1945 - Paul Petersen
actor: The Donna Reed Show, Mickey Mouse Club; singer: My Dad; paperback writer: It’s a Wonderful Life

1947 - Mary Kay Place
Emmy Award-winning actress: Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman [1976-1977]; Forever Fernwood, The Big Chill; singer: Baby Boy

1949 - Bruce Springsteen
‘The Boss’: singer: group: E-Street Band: Born in the U.S.A., Born to Run, Hungry Heart, Dancing in the Dark, Cover Me, I’m on Fire, Glory Days, My Hometown, War; songwriter: Blinded by the Light [Manfred Mann’s Earth Band], Fire [The Pointer Sisters]; inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame [3-15-99]

1959 - Jason Alexander
actor: Seinfeld, Everything’s Relative, E/R, Duckman, Jerome Robbins’ Broadway, For Better or Worse, Dunston Checks In, Bye, Bye Birdy, The Paper, North, Blankman, Coneheads, Pretty Woman, Jacob’s Ladder, The Mosquito Coast, Brighton Beach Memoirs, The Burning, Bob Patterson

1959 - Lita Ford
musician: guitar: group: The Runaways; actress: Highway to Hell, Edgeplay

1961 - Elizabeth Peña
actress: Shannon’s Deal, Tough Cookies, I Married Dora, Jacob’s Ladder, Lone Star, The Invaders, Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home, Fugitive Among Us, La Bamba, Down and Out in Beverly Hills, They All Laughed, Times Square, El Super




Chart Toppers
September 23
1949
You’re Breaking My Heart - Vic Damone
Let’s Take an Old Fashioned Walk - Perry Como
Someday - Vaughn Monroe
Slipping Around - Ernest Tubb

1957
Tammy - Debbie Reynolds
Diana - Paul Anka
Mr. Lee - The Bobbettes
My Shoes Keep Walking Back to You - Ray Price

1965
Help! - The Beatles
Eve of Destruction - Barry McGuire
You Were on My Mind - We Five
Is It Really Over? - Jim Reeves

1973
Let’s Get It On - Marvin Gaye
We’re an American Band - Grand Funk
Loves Me like a Rock - Paul Simon
You’ve Never Been This Far Before - Conway Twitty

1981
Endless Love - Diana Ross & Lionel Richie
Queen of Hearts - Juice Newton
Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around - Stevie Nicks with Tom Petty & The
Heartbreakers
You Don’t Know Me - Mickey Gilley

1989
Girl I’m Gonna Miss You - Milli Vanilli
Heaven - Warrant
If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher
Above and Beyond - Rodney Crowell

 

[wally2450]

Some thoughts on Life and Football

At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs
money and we don’t have any."
Erk Russell / Georgia Southern.



"Football is only a game. Spiritual things are
eternal. Nevertheless, Beat Texas." Seen on a
church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.



"After you retire, there's only one big event left
....and I ain't ready for that."
Bobby Bowden / Florida State



"The man who complains about the way the ball
bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it."
Lou Holtz / Arkansas



"When you win, nothing hurts."
Joe Namath / Alabama



"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who
are not motivated." Lou Holtz / Arkansas



"If you want to walk the heavenly streets of
gold, you gotta know the password, "Roll,
tide, roll!" Bear Bryant / Alabama



"A school without football is in danger of
deteriorating into a medieval study hall."
Frank Leahy / Notre Dame



"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like
getting the hell kicked out of you."
Woody Hayes / Ohio State



"I don't expect to win enough games to be put
on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough
to warrant an investigation."
Bob Devaney / Nebraska



"In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn't
believe in Bear Bryant."

Wally Butts / Georgia



"You can learn more character on the two-yard
line than anywhere else in life."
Paul Dietzel / LSU



"It's kind of hard to rally around a math class."
Bear Bryant / Alabama



"No, but you can see it from here."
Lou Holtz / Arkansas ...When asked if
Fayetteville was the end of the world.



"I make my practices real hard because
if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit
in practice, not in a game."
Bear Bryant / Alabama



"There's one sure way to stop us from scoring-give
us the ball near the goal line." Matty Bell / SMU



"Lads, you're not to miss practice unless your
parents died or you died."

Frank Leahy / Notre Dame



"I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there
for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's."
Alex Karras / Iowa



"My advice to defensive players: Take the shortest
route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor."
Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee



"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for
my grades." Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State



"Always remember..... Goliath was a 40-point
favorite over David." Shug Jordan / Auburn



"They cut us up like boarding house pie. And
that's real small pieces." Darrell Royal / Texas



"Show me a good and gracious loser, and I'll
show you a failure." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame



"They whipped us like a tied-up goat." Spike
Dykes / Texas Tech



"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas
Longhorns, why he didn't recruit me and he said:
"Well, Walt, we took a look at you and you
weren't any good." Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State



"Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands
aren't on the steering wheel."
Bobby Bowden / Florida State



"Football is not a contact sport-it is a collision
sport. Dancing is a contact sport."
Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State



After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his
post game message to his team: "All those
who need showers, take them."
John McKay / USC



"If lessons are learned in defeat, our
team is getting a great education."
Murray Warmath / Minnesota



"The only qualifications for a lineman
are to be big and dumb. To be a back,
you only have to be dumb."
Knute Rockne / Notre Dame



"Oh, we played about like three tons of
buzzard puke this afternoon."

Spike Dykes / Texas Tech



"It isn't necessary to see a good tackle. You
can hear it." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame



"We live one day at a time and scratch
where it itches." Darrell Royal Texas



"We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by
not blocking." John McKay / USC



"Three things can happen when you throw the ball,
and two of them are bad."
Darrell Royal / University of Texas



"I've found that prayers work best when you have big
players." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame



"Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy
than to fumble this football." John Heisman

 

[Kylan]

Nothing rhymes with Month either

Depends if you are talking about a collective group of female bits with a lisp... if you are and you do, you can

for example - 'What a bunch of cunth'

There are many reasons for reading peoples posts on the Internet. The above exchange is an example of the best reason in the world.

Absolutely classic. I will, of course, use that on a different board and claim it as my own, but remember ...

Creativity is slow ... plagiarism is quick ... life is short.