the really really bad pickup line thread

[barefootgirl69]

Can I be your probation officer. With a body like that, you need supervision.

 

[DarkrSide]

My dog ran into that hotel room. Would you come with me to find him?

 

[barefootgirl69]

Hey, there, Tall Drink of Water. Do I need to put you in a glass or can I just lick you?

 

[DarkrSide]

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

 

[HumasWanderingWeiner]

I don't need sweet tea, just put your finger in it as you are sweet enough.

 

[curvyangel1969]

Hey, my name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

 

[barefootgirl69]

I don't need sweet tea, just put your finger in it as you are sweet enough.

Put my finger where exactly?

 

[Girly_girl]

( I actually saw one on tumblr and it made me giggle) Did you sit in sugar, because your ass is sweet as hell

 

[done_got_old]

I have lots of these........


Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

 

[MessierObject]

I'm attracted to you like the Earth is attracted to the Sun - with a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared.

 

[Spenser41]

Old line turned into a song...

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

 

[done_got_old]

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!

 

[GoldenBooty]

The only line a guy ever used on me was "you dropped something"
{me, looking around at the floor}
"Your smile"

Then he tried to sell me magazine subscriptions from a pamphlet.

 

[done_got_old]

Ever wonder why you have spaces between your fingers?

So my fingers can fit there.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Are you from Tennessee?

Because you're the only TEN I see.

 

[Lia Monde]

"If you don't have sex with me now, don't come begging at closing time."

 

[Animaul]

Did you sit in a pile of sugar?

Cause you got a pretty sweet ass.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

I know you want me. Flip me those digits so we can do this.

 

[OldUncleJack]

My cock leaves in ten minutes...be on it...

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Got any kids? (Opening line to which I replied I've got 7 kids by 5 different men. I'm pregnant with #8. I'm hungry, wanna buy me food?)

 

[Animaul]

Got any kids? (Opening line to which I replied I've got 7 kids by 5 different men. I'm pregnant with #8. I'm hungry, wanna buy me food?)

So it kiiinda worked then? haha

I would hide every chair in the world just so you could sit on my face.

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Are you a parking ticket? Because you have "Fine" written all over you...

 

[OldButNotObsolete]

Break the ice with "What winks and fu#ks like a lion"

while she stares back at you vacantly/bored you give her a wink

And then just sit back relax and let the eye rolls come flooding in....

 

[neakman]

You're not like your mother.
You're not like the others.
You're not like anyone else.

 

[Blase]

You're not like your mother.
You're not like the others.
You're not like anyone else.

That's not a pickup line, it's a Shoebox Greetings card.