the really really bad pickup line thread

[islander01]

pick up lines can be really stupid and really funny. feel free to elaborate if they worked for you.

The worst one I ever saw work was " if I was a twinky would you eat me?"

 

[islander01]

ok how about?

If you and I were squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

 

[Anna Leigh]

i got " baby i'd drink your bathwater", once. yuck.

 

[Mstrskey]

From a sailor at an airport...

Now see what you've done baby? The whole damn states cryin at the thought of you leaving us.

It was pouring rain outside and he said this as he carried my bags to a luggage carousel.

It got him a drink at the airport bar and a little grope session.

 

[Mstrskey]

another fave..

Guy:looking toward the sky Damned if I can figure how they're gonna fix that one?

Me: What one?

Guy: the hole in heaven you must've fallen out of sugar.

 

[Mstrskey]

Not a pickup line...

but perhaps the best rejection I have ever heard for one....

Guy: Damn baby girl, I sure would love to get in your pants.

Girl: Why? Did you shit in yours again?

 

[SuperShyGuy]

Being as I am SOOO smooth with the ladies, I NEVER have this problem. But nonetheless I offer this, which I consider my finest material:


"Um....hi."

 

[alwaysawake]

These two rank up there...

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Nice shoes; Wanna fuck? LOL

 

[SuperShyGuy]

Nice shoes; Wanna fuck? LOL

I like that one!

 

[Erich23]

hahahhaahaha..

Funny, Funny thread....

Love to hear more....

I,myself am old so do not use pick up lines at all, good or bad...
Years ago I was hanging with a friend early on a friday/Saturday evening, when a young attrictive girl we knew came in and had a drink with us....

Friend: " Do ya wanna get Laid????"

Girl: " O, my God, your pretty forward arn't ya???"

Friend: " Well. I want to get laid tonite and don't want to waste a lot of time, if your not interested. then OK, I'll move on...

If you say yes ....."


I thought the exchange was really funny...

always wanted to do that...

I'm just way too shy.


E

PS. they did go home together that nite..........

 

[alwaysawake]

These aren't bad--just extremely LAME!

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy

 

[Ladybird]

No kidding, this is a classic Australian pick up line, not used as much these days, thank heavens.

Him.... "Do ya?"

hint, he's referring to sexual intercourse..

 

[babydoll_73]

Is that a keg in your pant, cuz I wanna tap that ass...

 

[naughtygirl]

Is that a keg in your pant, cuz I wanna tap that ass...

LMAO!!!!


Once I was asked "Do you like pearl necklaces?"

I replied with Um...sure.

He said Good, 'cause I would love to give you one.

I thought it was kind of odd until another friend explained to me what he meant by that....

 

[islander01]

how about the one where you beckon the girl to you with a finger then tell her " I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with the whole hand"


I get slapped a lot

 

[Caressa]

how about the one where you beckon the girl to you with a finger then tell her " I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with the whole hand"


I get slapped a lot

My friend has a different version of this one...

beckoning someone with a finger and when they walk over you ask "Do you always come when I finger you?"

 

[dragonhearted]

how about.......

"I saw your post on X thread...wanna chat?"


I have heard that line sooooooo many times....and it always means something ELSE: they wanna talk sex! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[minnie179]

oh, how about...

"you should be illegal"

"I want to tip you over and eat you like a snow cone"

 

[dragonhearted]

omg!!!!

oh, how about...

"you should be illegal"

"I want to tip you over and eat you like a snow cone"

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!

 

[naughtygirl]

Re: how about.......

"I saw your post on X thread...wanna chat?"


I have heard that line sooooooo many times....and it always means something ELSE: they wanna talk sex! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

That goes along with "Nice tits. What's your yahoo ID? Wanna chat?"

Like they don't know that I know automatically what they want the conversation to be about after some brief small talk?!!!!! I tend to ignore those PMs.

 

[omahaman2]

you must be tired because youve been running through my mind all day.

 

[SuperShyGuy]

This is from a commercial I saw.


Man:"Did it hurt?"

Woman:"Did what hurt?"

Man:"When you fell from heaven?"

 

[sublimeflirt]

It wasn't original but it surprised me:

'Hi my name is Tom, wanna fuck?'

 

[Miss Behavin']

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I wish you were a pony ride outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter. (Duh! At least $1... Inflation, you know. )

 

[alwaysawake]

Some more raunchy ones...worst pickup lines that should NEVER work!

Hey baby, I don't need to know the specials because you're the catch of the day.

Hey baby, I like your shirt but it would look even better on my floor.

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

That's a nice dress - could I talk you out of it?



How about the best response to an unwanted pickup?
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: Female impersonator.