IntmtStrngr
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2013
- Posts
- 500
...
I think I know your little sister, don't I?
I think I know your little sister, don't I?
the really really bad pickup line thread
- Thread starter islander01
- Start date
Corbal
Cereal Killer
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2010
- Posts
- 27,281
I haven't shaved or used lotion in a week. Go for it.
IntmtStrngr
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2013
- Posts
- 500
...
is it hot in here--, or is it just you?
is it hot in here--, or is it just you?
Corbal
Cereal Killer
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2010
- Posts
- 27,281
Just me.
"Excuse me... You have a really deep voice. I'm a medical student and I was wondering if their might be a medical reason for it."
That scintillating opener was addressed to me by a girl many years ago. It didn't even hit my radar as a pickup line, but my friends thought it was when I told them the story.
That scintillating opener was addressed to me by a girl many years ago. It didn't even hit my radar as a pickup line, but my friends thought it was when I told them the story.
Backdoor_Bella
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2013
- Posts
- 11,563
back when I was working nights as a waitress, I gave the check to a table of 4 guys I'd been serving. the one guy picked it up and looked at it and said, 'do you want a tip?'. I tried to play it off because, what the hell kinda question is that?! but he insisted and asked again, 'do you want a tip?'
so I said, 'yes'. and he said, 'here's your tip: use a condom.' when I turned around in fury to walk away, he grabbed my wrist and said, 'I've got one in my car, what time do you get off?'
I yanked my wrist out of his grip and gave him a sternly sarcastic, 'have a nice night, Sir'
I didn't get any tip. maybe if I'd have taken him up on his offer, I could've rummaged in his middle console for some change...
so I said, 'yes'. and he said, 'here's your tip: use a condom.' when I turned around in fury to walk away, he grabbed my wrist and said, 'I've got one in my car, what time do you get off?'
I yanked my wrist out of his grip and gave him a sternly sarcastic, 'have a nice night, Sir'
I didn't get any tip. maybe if I'd have taken him up on his offer, I could've rummaged in his middle console for some change...
WetBiMoose
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2010
- Posts
- 5,513
One of my friendsa told me, newly single, to go up to the first girl I see at a bar and say "I want to suck on your cunt until your tits cave in and then blow in your ass until they pop out again..."
Surprisingly, after a good laugh, and a couple of weird looks from the other ladies in a large group, I ended up going home with the lot of them and they had their way with me.
Surprisingly, after a good laugh, and a couple of weird looks from the other ladies in a large group, I ended up going home with the lot of them and they had their way with me.
moonflasher
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2012
- Posts
- 1,533
A few years ago while out with friends at a club,a guy says to me.....you would look great on the end of my dick.....damn if the son of a bitch wasn't right 
Slow Ride469
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2003
- Posts
- 49,419
If I said you have a beautiful body,would you hold it against me?
S
sxydiva
Guest
Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.
Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers.
Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?
Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns!
Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?
Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.
I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.
I'm sorry, I don't think we've met. I wouldn't forget a pretty face like that.
My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?
I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February.
Do you live in a corn field, cause I'm stalking you
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by YOU.
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm staring at your heart.
I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.
Your body is 65% water and I'm thirsty.
My doctor says I'm lacking Vitamin U.
Have you been to the doctor lately? Cause I think you're lacking some Vitamin Me.
Forget about Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. I'll be your man.
Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.
You look so familiar… didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistr
y.
Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day.. .all I'm asking for is one from you
I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
If you were a burger at McDonalds, you'd be McGorgeous.
Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers.
Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?
Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns!
Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?
Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.
I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.
I'm sorry, I don't think we've met. I wouldn't forget a pretty face like that.
My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?
I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February.
Do you live in a corn field, cause I'm stalking you
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by YOU.
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm staring at your heart.
I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.
Your body is 65% water and I'm thirsty.
My doctor says I'm lacking Vitamin U.
Have you been to the doctor lately? Cause I think you're lacking some Vitamin Me.
Forget about Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. I'll be your man.
Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.
You look so familiar… didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistr
y.
Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day.. .all I'm asking for is one from you
I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
If you were a burger at McDonalds, you'd be McGorgeous.
smotherman
Ass-phyxiation
- Joined
- May 7, 2005
- Posts
- 37,182
I don't use pick-up lines but heard this one. really bad!
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
G
Greeneyedcanadian
Guest
Nice ass....I ended up marrying that man...lol
Cymru6969
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2011
- Posts
- 22,109
I have a key, should we see if it fits your keyhole? Really?
did that actually happen?! So few hotels use actual keys anymore
Can I buy two drinks for you? One for you and one for your aura.
I
Iceprincess12
Guest
Great Scot! (Just let it hang with an air of anticipation)
I
Iceprincess12
Guest
My sesame oil is hot for you
C
curvyangel1969
Guest
Your lips look so lonely, would they like to meet mine?
AllieeAnne
Virgin
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2017
- Posts
- 26
"Are you here alone?"
Um yes. I am wearing heels and a miniskirt and standing in a trade show booth with an ipad. I just got lost on my way to school.
Um yes. I am wearing heels and a miniskirt and standing in a trade show booth with an ipad. I just got lost on my way to school.
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