The New Isolated Blurt BDSM Thread

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Haha! I have been there with my mom, but not so.. extreme.
(What is a ho, exactly? Is he just trying to say whore?) :rolleyes:

But I do wonder where your mom picked up bukkake? :eek:

Yeeeah, I really don't wanna know where she's picked up bukkake. In the middle of a regular phone call yesterday she asked if bukkake is similar to kabuki. Not quite, mother, not quite.
 
I'm hurting a lot right now. To call it existential angst might seem pretentious, but I think it's fairly accurate. For more than twenty years, I have defined myself by my role in helping others to grow, but I've reached a point now where that's no longer happening. I ought to be happy because that means that I've been successful, but all that I'm left with is emptiness.

Why's this in the BDSM thread? First, I'm finding that the pain itself is becoming something of a familiar friend; I'm not sure whether that's healthy or not but it sounds masochistic. Secondly, I'm aware that this malaise connects with my unresolved need to nurture in the BDSM space. Thirdly, I'm tempted just to run away quietly when I feel like this, but I thought this time I'd try writing something to express it.
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I'm hurting a lot right now. To call it existential angst might seem pretentious, but I think it's fairly accurate. For more than twenty years, I have defined myself by my role in helping others to grow, but I've reached a point now where that's no longer happening. I ought to be happy because that means that I've been successful, but all that I'm left with is emptiness.

Why's this in the BDSM thread? First, I'm finding that the pain itself is becoming something of a familiar friend; I'm not sure whether that's healthy or not but it sounds masochistic. Secondly, I'm aware that this malaise connects with my unresolved need to nurture in the BDSM space. Thirdly, I'm tempted just to run away quietly when I feel like this, but I thought this time I'd try writing something to express it.
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:rose:
 
I'm hurting a lot right now. To call it existential angst might seem pretentious, but I think it's fairly accurate. For more than twenty years, I have defined myself by my role in helping others to grow, but I've reached a point now where that's no longer happening. I ought to be happy because that means that I've been successful, but all that I'm left with is emptiness.

Why's this in the BDSM thread? First, I'm finding that the pain itself is becoming something of a familiar friend; I'm not sure whether that's healthy or not but it sounds masochistic. Secondly, I'm aware that this malaise connects with my unresolved need to nurture in the BDSM space. Thirdly, I'm tempted just to run away quietly when I feel like this, but I thought this time I'd try writing something to express it.
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Could this nurturing need be filled outside the BDSM context?
Like takng trainees at work or volunteering with after school homework help or teaching nightschool or something.
 
Today, having just parked my car in a residential street, I heard a 'conversation' between two parents in front of their two tiny children.

I thought ' and people think bdsm is fucked up?'

I haven't quote been able to get it out of my head since. I know nothing about them, maybe humiliation does something for her or them, or whatever, but....it was so ugly, just a minute or so, and the kids were totally relaxed, this is normal for them. As it is in so many homes, so many, many, many, many homes. I know a good deal of why I am messed up in my attitudes sometimes. I know that what ever G and I do won't mess anyone else up. But it has still, really upset me....

There was not a profanity, or any abuse or anything like that...just...people.

very curious about the particulars, here...
 
The younger child looked like a boy, and about .....ten months , a year? The older one was definitely a girl, in a pink can't, barefoot, carried by the father.....horrid weather, too cold for no shoes or socks.

I'm pretty sure he meant the particulars of the conversation...
 
Could this nurturing need be filled outside the BDSM context?
Like takng trainees at work or volunteering with after school homework help or teaching nightschool or something.
I'm also looking at that wider option. I used to have lots of opportunities of those types, but that has changed as my life and career have moved on.

My point was more that my energy for BDSM flows from giving and nurturing, so my heart isn't in it without that ongoing element. Indeed, there's something fundamental missing for me without it.

Thanks for that thought, though. :)
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How the hell is it possible that I sleep 9 hours straight and I still look like I haven't slept for a week.
 
Perhaps this discussion might be better moved to a different thread (e.g. my nurturing thread). I'll try to cover those points briefly here, though.

I think that the 'fundamental missing bit' is interesting when combined with your identification.

Just because it's missing at the moment, doesn't change how you 'identify'.

If people were single and without a partner, life can go on, for example...even if they continue to look.

I am struggling with the words to clearly say my point. Hmmm
I must admit that I'm not sure that I follow your point either!

In a nutshell, I've felt in my element over the last six months, while I've been introducing my wife to the language and reality of BDSM. Very happily for us both, she has taken to this exciting new world like a duck to water, and she now expresses her kinky side freely with me and others. I'm feeling now, though, that my Dom-ish role is now over -- my wife doesn't identify as a sub and we don't really share a D/s dynamic when we go through those motions. It's a problem of success, and I don't want to sound ungrateful, but something is still missing for me.

Also, besides this aspect do you feel challenged and fulfilled in life? Content? I would point out it's 'the weather' and time of year and light levels...still just about, where we are for dissatisfaction to feel most keenly felt.

While your need to nurture is intrinsic to you, and offers a valuable potential service....I think it's better you feel on even keel too without it, for yourself, but also...ideally...for those you nurture.

If you find outlet for this...it's great and ideal ( what is to be hoped for! ) ,...but if you don't...you need a plan too :rose:
I don't feel content at the moment. Things have stagnated for me in my wider life. That's not my imagination: for example, I need to find a new career direction after the end of this month, and I'm not seeing anything out there that inspires me. There are other factors as well, but I won't spell them out here.

Despite these wider issues, though, my need to sort out my BDSM role isn't a mirage; it reflects a yearning that's been with me for a very long time.
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I understand the words but not the sentence. :eek:

If you are asking am I looking for superman porn....why would it me superman not batman? Also....no, I saw a tv advert for the film. :)


Internet Rule 34—"If it exists, there is porn of it – no exceptions"


I was alluding to your comment that there was so much better they could be doing. The naked 'mano a mano'...


Alas, the joke fell flat. :eek:
 
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