The Awkward Flirt Thread

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

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[JKL123]

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[Azuldrgon]

Impressing a girl with your knowledge of old song lyrics......

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

 

[DarkRaven13]

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They are kind of sexy aren't they? I mean, I know you mistaked my back-fat beneath my bra strap as boobs, but I don't mind.

*turns around to look at you* Oh, your have lovey bulging eyes.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

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[SirConradPeckereye]

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[AmberLGreen]

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[muddler35]

Hey baby, you got a wrench? Just looking at ya is making my nuts tight.

 

[DarkRaven13]

Hi, nice to meet you. What do I like doing in my spare time? Oh, I read stories on Literotica.

 

[thejabber27]

Well um, there’s a spam poetry reading tonight at this coffee shop I know and they’re giving spam samples with each coffee. Wanna go?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I have popcorn stuck in my teeth. Can I floss with your pubic hair?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

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What's worse than being told by your gynecologist that you have gonorrhea?

Being told by your dentist

 

[DarkRaven13]

I have popcorn stuck in my teeth. Can I floss with your pubic hair?

omg I can't get that image from my head lol

 

[thejabber27]

omg I can't get that image from my head lol

So, I'm gonna slide into your DMs with an autoerotic flash dance crypto bro stance. Hope that's cool.

 

[AlexBailey]

I’ve got a dress just like the one you’re wearing.

 

[thejabber27]

I’ve got a dress just like the one you’re wearing.

So I have this wallpaper that I think it would go great with your eyes.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

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[TANSTAAFL58]

Congrats on winning this week's Great Lit Contest. I was avoiding this thread because frankly, I could not flirt my way out of a, well...
https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/b/brown-paper-bag-18121768.jpg

Perhaps one of you nice Lit Ladies would be good enough to teach me?

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

What's worse than being told by your gynecologist that you have gonorrhea?

Being told by your dentist

You just made my Friday with that one...

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

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[DickandDoof]

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That used to be mine too, but you get beyond it as you get older.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Hey do you want to sleep over in my van down by the river?

sure, I just want to watch you sleep anyway. I bet you sleep so cute.

 

[Ingenue844]

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I’ve been ghosted after not being able to carry a conversation

 

[Ingenue844]

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I never know how to break the ice

 

[Ingenue844]

https://imgur.com/Fip3Jq5

Where he at!?