Sexless Marriages

[AikaDaisho]

49M. 13 years sexless here... her choice. I stopped trying. While I'm not glad to see so many others here, I'm happy there's at least a place to talk. =)

 

[MongoSex]

Sexless marriage since around 1998. I think that means I got the boobie prize (because I have a sub with full access to her boobies.

First, my wife started to refuse anal. I could live with that. Then she refused BJ. I didn't like it but ok... Then she came to bed sweaty, smelly and gritty, got on all 4s and said that if I wanted to I could fuck her. I was NOT ok with that. She was also hording and piling stuff around the bed, so I moved to a spare bedroom. She said she would not have sex with someone that was not sleeping with her. I said I was OK with that.

Then the marriage trap started. I said I wanted a friendly divorce and she said she would fight divorce with every penny we had. Then my father died. I was emotionally not ready for a bloody fight. I wanted to be involved with our kid so I figured I would stay until our kid was older and understand things better. I went to see a lawyer to get divorce information and my mother in law, whom I really liked, got very sick. So I waited while trying to give support. The pattern took hold. Every few years I would start exploring divorce and someone in the family (that I like) would get deathly sick or outright die. It's gotten that I am superstitious about talking to lawyers or researching divorce. LOL, the last person was my wife, 2.5 years ago. She spent 8 days in the hospital, but she is doing great now.

A few years after the turn of the century I found a sub. I started the affair with her just to get my rocks off but her personality was great and we are still seeing each other after 22 years, though only about once a week since she became a grandma. Having a supportive sub/sex-toy/pet that I see whenever we can get away really helps.

At this point I am too superstitious about the illness/death pattern and I don't want to lose all my retirement savings to lawyers in what is certain to be a nasty divorce. I kind of settled into the rut of living with my wife despite the emotional and physical alienation. However, I do get physical and emotional support from my sub.

I feel your pain. We have gone from sex to sexless and it’s a loveless business arraignment.
But, if I pursue my needs, she wants to tell me me how I am cheating. It is driving crazy and I’m not sure how to keep what I have (ie, not lose all me money and family) and still get what I want in manner that enlightens her that she can’t have it both ways.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

 

[french_tongue]

Hi,
How do you define sexless marriage?

Does once a month is sexless or not? In my case I get lucky once or twice a month…

 

[boxman11]

Hi,
How do you define sexless marriage?

Does once a month is sexless or not? In my case I get lucky once or twice a month…

You're on of the lucky one. For most of us it's been years.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Hi,
How do you define sexless marriage?

Does once a month is sexless or not? In my case I get lucky once or twice a month…

Yeah that is an all you can eat smorgasbord for most of us on this thread.

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

I have been married for 10 years,

she has absolutely no sex drive and never has had one, wasn't aware of that before we got married.

She's a wonderful woman and I have no resentment but I am too young to never have sex again and she is not interested in romance or cuddling or intimacy either, so we can be platonic friends at best.

Still love her but I asked for an open relationship so I can begin dating again, the goal being, to one day have someone I can snuggle and kiss at night. Sexual intimacy also desired.

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

You're on of the lucky one. For most of us it's been years.

Yeah... eight of them for me.

MTF trans person here, 42, seeking a woman. Yes I have full permission to date, everything. I am also open to remarrying if you're the right person, for financial reasons and residency reasons it makes sense for me to remain legally married unless I'm getting remarried.

 

[ElannaCalli]

Happy to chat. Sexless marriages but happy to help release…

So common. That is why making a marriage successful requires hard work

 

[BobbyandtheCabin]

Hi,
How do you define sexless marriage?

Does once a month is sexless or not? In my case I get lucky once or twice a month…

I read online that less than 12 times a year = sexless, but at the end of the day, it's just when there's a lot less than what you'd want. I've not had sex at all in a year, and prior to that fit the less than 12 times a year bracket for a few years. There are others here who have gone years. It doesn't negate your experience nor your capacity to class yourself as in one, should it otherwise be a barrier to you feeling you've a place to belong here. I'd say, join the club

 

[Crownvic]

View attachment 2593223

 

[PapaRomantic]

I had a new story published last night that is called "Random Encounter." It's about two people who are randomly placed together at a restaurant table while both attending a conference. They discover they have more in common than just the conference topic, and they eventually do something neither of them have done before.

As I was writing it, I kept coming back to this thread and reading all of your posts. My story is just a fantasy, but I know many of you have longed for something like this to happen.

Click on the link of you'd like to read it - Random Encounter

 

[MongoSex]

Well, nine months now. Absolutely no intimacy at all. So frustrating. Does anyone else feel just tremendous frustration?

Yo betcha!

 

[MongoSex]

Sexless marriage since around 1998. I think that means I got the boobie prize (because I have a sub with full access to her boobies.

First, my wife started to refuse anal. I could live with that. Then she refused BJ. I didn't like it but ok... Then she came to bed sweaty, smelly and gritty, got on all 4s and said that if I wanted to I could fuck her. I was NOT ok with that. She was also hording and piling stuff around the bed, so I moved to a spare bedroom. She said she would not have sex with someone that was not sleeping with her. I said I was OK with that.

Then the marriage trap started. I said I wanted a friendly divorce and she said she would fight divorce with every penny we had. Then my father died. I was emotionally not ready for a bloody fight. A few years later I wanted to be involved with our kid so I figured I would stay until our kid was older and understand things better. I went to see a lawyer to get divorce information and my mother in law, whom I really liked, got very sick. So I waited while trying to give support. The pattern took hold. Every few years I would start exploring divorce and someone in the family (that I like) would get deathly sick or outright die. It's gotten that I am superstitious about talking to lawyers or researching divorce. LOL, the last person was my wife, 2.5 years ago. She spent 8 days in the hospital, but she is doing great now.

A few years after the turn of the century I found a sub. I started the affair with her just to get my rocks off but her personality was great and we are still seeing each other after 22 years, though only about once a week since she became a grandma. Having a supportive sub/sex-toy/pet that I see whenever we can get away really helps.

At this point I am too superstitious about the illness/death pattern and I don't want to lose all my retirement savings to lawyers in what is certain to be a nasty divorce. I kind of settled into the rut of living with my wife despite the emotional and physical alienation. However, I do get physical and emotional support from my sub.

Been there with my ex. Quit caring about her and her games, found a woman in the same boat and was able to live without going crazy. Divorced her through a drawn out divorce that worked out in my favor because I was able to prove my case. And life is good. It painful, but you got to do it.

 

[MongoSex]

Personally, I don’t think it’s wrong. Yes, I’m in a sexless marriage too, but I’m looking at it from the point of view that my wife isn’t giving me something that I want, need, and desire.

I’m not dating someone or hanging out with them, taking them to the movies and the park and cafes and whatnot. It’s just physical sex. We fuck and we move on. As long as I’m careful, descrete, don’t bring anything home, and she doesn’t know about it I don’t see it as a problem.

100% the issue and the solution most of us worked out. Discretion and staying focused on the objective is the key.

The problem I’ve had is trying to hook up with someone. As soon as they realize I’m married the deal is off. I’d like to find a married woman in the same situation I am, but it’s difficult to approach them. The signals, if any, are hard to interpret and I don’t want to get that “cheating husband” stigma at work.

 

[darkantx6669]

Nights like tonight, sucks to be in a sexless marriage

 

[vandelayatx]

Nights like tonight, sucks to be in a seedless marriage

Been about 8 months for me

 

[Aussieguy8]

Yeah. My wife is disabled. I won't go into specifics. But its been an issue for long enough she has given me permission to play and chat online.

Would love an online female friend here that talks sexual and not.

 

[Dropbear19]

Yo betcha!

 

[Mtnmike]

In my household, I’m the one doing without he doesn’t care. It’s because of his health we’ve had countless conversations about how it makes me feel rejected and less than and he just does not care.

Sorry to hear that, same in our household but it's her that just doesn't care

 

[Stanup]

I am totally in a sexless marriage and have been pretty much for a few years! We’re out there but we are a bit like unicorns

I am a woman in her 50’s with the sex drive of an 18 yr old boy, that’s not normal I’ve been told by female friends the same age and male friends. I should be settling down for my old age with my hormones dying a slow death, but hell no!

Been sexless for about 4 years. Love my wife but it sucks

 

[MongoSex]

Sorry to hear that, same in our household but it's her that just doesn't care

Ditto.

 

[El_Dempo]

It's a horrid situation to be in. Given up any hope of the wife ever showing an interest.. hard to feel disappointed when there was no expectation, right?

 

[DaddyVader]

Hi,
How do you define sexless marriage?

Does once a month is sexless or not? In my case I get lucky once or twice a month…

I regularly listen to "sex with emily" podcast and I remember some of the experts she had on a while ago said 2 times or less is a sexless marriage.

My wife is going thru some hormone changes and her sex drive vanished. My ex wife stopped caring about sex after the wedding.


It's so demoralizing.

 

[Canadianbeef1971]

I am totally in a sexless marriage and have been pretty much for a few years! We’re out there but we are a bit like unicorns

I am a woman in her 50’s with the sex drive of an 18 yr old boy, that’s not normal I’ve been told by female friends the same age and male friends. I should be settling down for my old age with my hormones dying a slow death, but hell no!

My wife is your exact opposite . It's been tough. I am 53 and still have a things on my " in want to try that" list, but my life partner isnt interested. I still love her to death but fuck.. what is a guy to do? What do you do?