Sex? Gettin' it or Not and why?

[TN_Vixen]

When was the last time you had sex? Was it because you wanted to or because you felt obligated?

So many studies out there about married vs. single sex lives support that single people don't have nearly the amount of sex that married people do. But what does that mean, exactly? Shouldn't they also measure the quality of sex received?

My guess would be that the majority of single people have sex less often than their married counterparts but single sex is qualitatively better.

Just throwing it out there for the masses to respond.

 

[KillerMuffin]

The docs neutered the StudMuffin with some vile prescription drug they are convinced he needs. I suppose he does, he can actually eat food now without drinking a gallon of milk to combat the pain of whatever stomach problems he picked up over in Iraq. I haven't got any in so long I'm about to go on a rampage. I can tell because I was watching the Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat commercial on the Cartoon Network, the one where Donnie Osmond is singing in a skirt with no shirt on, and thought to myself, Hey, I'd do him. After I realized what I'd just thought I ran screaming down the street with a black and white wannabe taco bell mutt chasing after me, barking hysterically.

 

[TN_Vixen]

KM

If Donny looks good to you hon, especially knowing your SM and his physique.. you're definitely in trouble, girl. LOL

 

[Vlad]

Quantity and quality

I am 29 and single; never been married; don't have any plans to do so in the near future--I had sex last night and am almost guaranteed to have a repeat performance tonite, since I shack with two bi-fems.

I have high quality sex at least five nites or days a week and can't remember doing without for more than 30 days since I was 18.

It may be that I am extremely lucky, or maybe I try harder and always expect to be successful..

Whatever the case, I am happy with my single sex life and would not swap with any married friend I know...

Vlad

 

[SeXy ReDHeD]

I am single and sexless

It's not been long since I've gotten sex (about two weeks), and it was really good sex at that, but it just wasn't satisfying.

I think married couples may (I have no experience here) have less physically satisfying sex than single people, but it is definitely more emotionally satisfying.

That is what I am missing in my sex life right now.

 

[Closet Desire]

Magic sex...

I'm married and I'm not sure I can distinguish between sex that threatens to stop your heart and "satisfying" sex. I know that neither of us ever feels obligated. There's something magic between us. For whatever reason we push just the right buttons on each other and it's as good now as it was five years ago...and just as frequent. "How often?" you ask. (Blush) Two...three times a day...sometimes more depending on work schedule. If you count the times she cums and I don't because all our clothes are still on and we're in a lift and only have a few seconds then I'm afraid I lost count long ago.

When it's the right lover and the most important thing in your life is each other then intimacy remains a top priority...even over kids (we have three). The kids don't lose out because we are happy and unstressed. Everybody wins.

I know it isn't like this for everybody...certainly wasn't in my first marriage of (ahem) 20 years. But, damn, if you get lucky and find the right person...it's fireworks every day.

Call me...lucky in love.

 

[SweetCherry]

Well, I haven't had sex in about 4 mnths. And satisfying sex...well, I think it would have to be about 2 YEARS since I had that. But what do you expect when the man I married doesn't have a degree in female anatomy. Then again, I would be happy if he knew where a CLIT was located. And he wonders why I don't want to have sex anymore. Go figure!!

 

[Closet Desire]

Hmmm...

...there's always a good book (hint, hint), a glass of wine, and a warm bath. Be sure to leave the door ajar.

 

[naudiz]

It's been nearly a year.

Combination of factors. I'm on so many medications to keep from being in unbearable pain that not only is my libido dead, some days I'm not even sure where I am. Da boy has been driving me nuts, he's going through some phase where he's got to act like a twelve year old around me and since I'm not a pedo, it just turns me off. Add in a heaping spoonful of body image issues (yet another woman who thinks she's overweight and ugly) and there just isn't a lot of action going on Chez Naudiz.

Yeesh, no wonder I've been bitter and depressed. All this time, I thought that was just my personality.

 

[Temptress_1960]

Last had sex last night. Per week? I average 5-6 times a week. Satisfying? You betcha.

Been married almost 19 years, and it just gets better and better. The more familiar you are with someone, the more you are able to push each other's buttons. You get to know just what touches are most pleasureful, and yet you still can be a little unpredictable...

22 years ago, before I started going out with the man I married, sex was frequent...but not as good. Had sex daily, sometimes all day but those guys were way less interested in taking the time to get to know what I liked. And I was not comfortable enough with myself to tell them.

The downside to married sex is the scheduling.

Is there time? Will the kids hear, or knock on the door with some lame question?
If I start to give you head in the kitchen, will they walk in the room?
Will they hear us in the shower?
Damn, that bed makes a lot of noise. And I think I chewed a hole in that pillow trying to be quiet.
Do you think those people in the next car in this parking lot notice that you are rubbing my nipple? (They are certainly giving us an odd look.)

The other downside to married sex is that the same person who knows how to push all the good buttons is also better at pushing the instant totally-pissing-me-off buttons.

 

[WriterDom]

Never been married so I can't speak to it. I would imagine that being married is like having a piggy bank you can always reach into for a couple of dollars. Being single is like being broke, but every once in a while looking down and finding a 100$ bill on the ground.

 

[Closet Desire]

What a riot!!

Enjoying It has it right on!

Our antics are so uncontainable that years ago the kids rigged a voice-activated tape recorder in our room. Months later they fessed up and we all listened to it together before destroying the evidence! What else could we do?

Another time they had all gone into town and upon returning could hear CD-able all the way down the street...they turned face and went back into town for another hour before coming back all grins and giggles!

We can't help it...our house is tiny and the doors are cardboard (good solid English construction!).

Hell, kids know what you're up to so you might as well enjoy and hope they find as much happiness when they are older. At a certain age they'll also go through your room and find everything prurient in your possession. Might as well hang the whips and chains in the living room!

Of course, our kids also had to come to grips with the fact that we write and publish erotic books too. I'm told they wear it as a badge of honour with their friends who think it's "cool" (kids are 17, 16, and 13 now).

Think they'll grow up thinking sex is normal, healthy, and fun? I sure hope so!

 

[Shylady]

I have been married for 21 years ... the sex is still great and plentiful.
The longer you know one another and care for them the more concerned you are for the other's pleasure.
I can not imagine having sex with someone you don'tknow.
We know each others faults and strengths and what works and what doesn't.
*grin* But we also know that you have to have suprises and newness in our relationship. That is always fun too.

Hmmm wonder what he would think of those silk scarves?

 

[Latina]

- When was the last time you had sex?

This morning (about two hours ago).

- Was it because you wanted to or because you felt obligated?

Wanted to. He started it but I wanted it just as much.

- So many studies out there about married vs. single sex lives support that single people don't have nearly the amount of sex that married people do. But what does that mean, exactly? Shouldn't they also measure the quality of sex received?

Quantity AND quality are far superior to when I was single. There is real feeling and emotion behind it, makes it MUCH better. After four years, he knows all the right moves: how, when, and where to touch me, so it is PHYSICALLY better as well as emotionally superior to the single-life, one-night stand. We are in bed together every night, so it is natural to reach out to the one you love, cuddle, caress, kiss, at night and/or early morning, and that gets us in the mood. We often fall asleep and/or wake up simply holding hands, or with his hand on my breast and his cock against my ass, or my hand cupping his balls, or whatever, and that gets us started all over again. Or we shower together, and soaping each other up all over, gets us going again. I love when he stands behind me in the shower, enfolds his arms around my waist or my breasts, and softly kisses my shoulders as his hardening rod presses into my ass. Or we wash each other's inner thighs, my hands "accidentally on purpose" wrap around his thick manliness as his fingers slip on the soap and "fall" into my juicing-up slit. There is so much love and lust between us, that it doesn't take much of a spark or much of an excuse to get the romantic and sexual juices flowing. In my experience, that kind of connection simply does NOT occur in casual, single sex without a committed relationship behind it.

- My guess would be that the majority of single people have sex less often than their married counterparts but single sex is qualitatively better.

Quantity and quality were far less in my first marriage. Even after 4 years of my second marriage, we have sex anywhere from 3 to 10 times a week. And while it is always good, at least 2 to 3 times a week it is OUTSTANDING (skyrockets and all that). My love-life is far better married at 50 than it was single at 25.

-- Latina

 

[Lajo]

Well...I think I have everyone beat. I am married and the last time I had sex was February 6th (or maybe it was the 16th) 2000. yep...been 11 months! was I obligated? No, I had to beg for it. (our version of sex is doggie style. I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead). I think she felt obligated. I got tired of trying to start something only to get turned down. As for her reasons, she is either too tired (I have tried starting something at all times during the day) or has another reason.

So, I don't think I am a good resourse to ask that kind of question.

On a side note...what are ya doing tonight TN??

 

[livin_simple]

While I was married the sex was infrequent and not truly satisfying. She claimed to have tremendous desires for sex but there was never a right time to initiate anything. Touching or hugging her at various times during the day were wrong because I was interrupting what she was doing. Kissing her was wrong because the children might see. Commenting on her body and looks was wrong because she became self-conscious. Initiating at bed time was wrong because I'd done nothing during the day to build up to it. Not initiating was wrong because then she was forced to act wanton and initiate sex with me.

Now I'm single once again. Sex has been infrequent because I'm not an ass-chaser. I work with one. The women love him. They don't see that he is everything they want in a man just to get them into bed.

Anyway, last sex was about nine months ago. It was fantastic, but... Yes it is true, in a committed relationship that marriage provides, the sex would have been even better. We were great friends, committed to complete honesty with each other and that included admitting we weren't committed to each other. The sex was extremely satisfying, but...

Sex as a single is more of a contact sport. Sex when married is more of a sharing between two people.

I must admit, through the months, and several times a day, I would have loved a few more rounds of the contact sport than I've had.

SweetCherry: I was a virgin when I married. Had very little knowledge of female anatomy and how to bring pleasure. My wife helped me tremendously to fill those gaps. But by the time she took the time to help me learn, she had allowed herself to become so resentful that the sex she claimed to desire she no longer allowed the opportunity for us to share (see above). Help your man learn how to please you. It's probably safe to believe he would love to be a fantastic sexual partner - something in the male ego.

 

[Joeyloves2lick]

It has been a long three months since my libido was set free to drive on the hormonal Audobon!!!!! Whew, my wrist is tired.


On the bright side my last escapade was a sweet getaway in a cozy spot in the middle of nowhere.

 

[Flaming Love Goddess]

I get to have sex whenever I want to. Guess that is the positive aspect of having a man live with me? The last time was Monday.

 

[TN_Vixen]

On a side note...what are ya doing tonight TN??

Same as most every night Laj.. c'mon over and we'll share sob stories. hehe


To answer my own question:
Let's see.... it has been 3 months or about that since I've had sex. And it was pretty good, but not grrrrreat. When I was married sex was not good at ALL, so even though I've seen both sides, I haven't see the "good-sex married side" at all.

 

[willywanker]

Married male, last sex was last night but it wasn't knock your socks off sort. More need to get off kind. Been married this time (my third time around) for 5 years. While we were dating, it was at least once a day. Now, if I make all the moves, maybe twice a week. Someone talked earlier about knowing all your spouses buttons, well I know them all, and still spend way to much time looking here for excitement. Do love the intimacy of really knowing mate, but miss the spontinaity of dating sex.