Legalizing and Normalizing Sex Work - A Net Positive or Negative for Society?

[LMWM321]

Would legalizing and normalizing sex work be a net positive or negative for society?

Imagine sex work being legitimized and normalized; workers being licensed and bonded and perhaps coming to your home. Workers who are as dedicated to their craft as Physical Therapists or Massage Therapists and likewise held accountable for following a strict code of ethical conduct.

My feeling is that the positives far outweigh the negatives. There are simply too many people going without physical intimacy - which for many is an irrepressible life-force that is as essential to happiness as laughter. Perhaps some of the SW’s could even have specialized training and certification for servicing those who are elderly, or have severe health issues or disabilities, etc..

On the other hand, perhaps it would be just another vice like gambling, drugs or alcohol that drains bank accounts, ends marriages and breaks up families. Or maybe making access to sex so easy would only further inhibit young people from developing the sort of interpersonal skills that lead to more substantive relationships, like gaming and watching porn for hours on end.

Either way, I’ve always found it hard to understand why we allow those with a talent for brutality to make millions in pro sports, but we don’t allow those with a gift for giving sexual pleasure to monetize their talent, especially when their skills cause no physical harm.

Your thoughts? Would you be a client, or know someone who would benefit?

 

[Lifestyle66]

IMO, the threat to "society" and resistance is that sex workers take the control a spouse has over their partner.

If sex work were legalized, it creates more tensions in households when one spouse denies sex to the other and does so to get what they want. Whether it's to punish the spouse or to act as a reward or incentive to grant some other wish, the marriage vows are often wielded as a weapon by one of them. And a legalized option for the spouse to get it elsewhere takes that weapon away, and costs them as a couple for the price of that outside work.

EDIT: The legal brutality of sports and even gambling or drugs doesn't pose such a threat to the couple, because it's not about the money or cost. That's a secondary impact. It's that loss of power and control over the spouse's "need" for sexual relief that's the greater threat to their marriage.

 

[LMWM321]

Well, if what you describe is true - that wives use sex as a way to control their husband - it isn't very effective. Remember, half of all marriages end in divorce, and of the half that remain many aren't particularly healthy or happy. So the success rate for marriage is well below 50%. There are many reasons of course, but sex is almost certainly NOT the least among them.

Maybe I'm naive, but I see it working the other way around. There are many marriages where the husband and wife love each other and want the companionship, security and safety that comes from remaining marred through old age but as the years pass a HUGE sexual desire discrepancy grows that eventually leads to one seeking sex outside the marriage. And the cheating tears at the bond b/c of lies, deception, and because the cheating spouse may have formed a new bond w/ another person. So divorce is the result. Well, in a world where Sex Work is legalized and normalized there would then be a legitimized option for that spouse to have the add'l sex they need in a way that avoids all of that. No?

Thanks for replying Lifestyle66. Your continued thoughts are of course welcome. And hopefully there will be more responses.

I'm beginning to regret that I didn't somehow work the word "Hotwives!" into my OP. If I did there'd be hundreds of replies by now.

 

[Lifestyle66]

The extra-marital affairs don't necessarily break marriages due to lies, deception, and "cheating". A husband or wife can be entirely open and honest with what they are doing with extra-marital sex, and it can still fall apart.

They break apart due to feelings of jealousy and lack of self-esteem. It's a feeling of the spouse at home resenting the one going out, thinking "You have to get it elsewhere because I can't/won't do it? What's wrong with me?" or "What do you see in him/her that you don't see in me anymore?" "Is he/she better than me?"

As an example, take two married couples: Couple "A" has a busy wife who has lost all interest in sex and avoids her husband's normal sex drive, and he resents not getting it. Couple "B" has a husband who is impotent and has no interest in helping his wife even with toys or oral, and the wife misses real sex with someone other than a piece of plastic.

Husband A gets with wife B for "no strings attached" sex, and BOTH couples should live happily ever after. But that doesn't happen! Wife A resents Wife B for being available and able to take care of husband A. And husband B hates husband A for being able to do something he can't. Both couples will still end up divorcing. Even if husband A went to a female prostitute and wife B paid a male escort, it won't change the fact their spouses will hate that arrangement, and just further gives them the argument that "it's costing the both of us money!"

That NSA sex arrangement can go on for months or years. But eventually the argument comes down to one feeling/saying "I'm not good enough for you anymore!"

Legalized prostitution might help save a few marriages. But other underlying tensions as people change are the real reason for marriages breaking. It's those feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, and attempts to use sex to control, along with feminists shouting "it's objectifying/exploitation of women" which drive about half the people to shout out against legalizing prostitution.

EDIT: Think also of the social stigma of others KNOWING your wife/husband is overtly paying for sex. For the impotent husband, it's his friends saying "So, you're officially a cuckold with you wife fucking that escort, and YOU are working to pay him!" or the frigid wife's friends saying "Wow, you should have seen the one your husband picked up last night! Even I would have done her." Hotwife B's male co-workers or friends would say "You don't need to pay for it, baby. Just come over to my place after work."

 

[easyoff]

There would probably be fewer shootings but more fuckings. Released tension works wonders.

 

[Sappho_CGN]

LOL

Sweden as a very progressive country has changed its ideology and already criminalised prostitution again ...

 

[LMWM321]

That NSA sex arrangement can go on for months or years. But eventually the argument comes down to one feeling/saying "I'm not good enough for you anymore!"

Well... Open marriages have been around for years. Some open their marriage as an attempt to save it - and it ultimately fails - while others in otherwise healthy marriages do so and the marriage flourishes. We all probably know people in both categories.

I'm quite certain there are also those who WOULD open their marriage to NSA sex w/ others but for the embarrassment of friends/ family finding out OR because they fear causing trouble in other relationships. A paid licensed Escort who visits one's home (or hotel) looking much like a physical therapist or massage therapist solves BOTH of these problems.

Plus, I suspect there are those - men and women - who would enjoy NSA sex with someone different than their years-long spouse but blanch at the idea of putting themselves on a dating site or going out to a bar to find the person. Again, a licensed/ bonded Escort service purchased via a website that comes to your home (or hotel, if preferred) solves this.

Lastly... What about Widows, Widowers who may desire occasional NSA sex but don't desire a new romantic partner? And those who simply struggle, for whatever reason, to find a partner but fail? How about people who are elderly and alone? Or have disabilities? If it's true that sex contributes to a healthy mind and body - shouldn't they be able to enjoy sex too?

As for prostitution failing in Sweden. ..Well, there's still quite a few other countries - like Germany and Switzerland - where it's legal, regulated, taxed, etc..

To succeed in the US, attitudes would have to continue to evolve. And they certainly could. Just look at how much they've changed relative to Sex Orientation and Gender Identification.

 

[Lifestyle66]

Well... Open marriages have been around for years. Some open their marriage as an attempt to save it - and it ultimately fails - while others in otherwise healthy marriages do so and the marriage flourishes. We all probably know people in both categories.

I'm quite certain there are also those who WOULD open their marriage to NSA sex w/ others but for the embarrassment of friends/ family finding out OR because they fear causing trouble in other relationships. A paid licensed Escort who visits one's home (or hotel) looking much like a physical therapist or massage therapist solves BOTH of these problems.

Plus, I suspect there are those - men and women - who would enjoy NSA sex with someone different than their years-long spouse but blanch at the idea of putting themselves on a dating site or going out to a bar to find the person. Again, a licensed/ bonded Escort service purchased via a website that comes to your home (or hotel, if preferred) solves this.

Lastly... What about Widows, Widowers who may desire occasional NSA sex but don't desire a new romantic partner? And those who simply struggle, for whatever reason, to find a partner but fail? How about people who are elderly and alone? Or have disabilities? If it's true that sex contributes to a healthy mind and body - shouldn't they be able to enjoy sex too?

As for prostitution failing in Sweden. ..Well, there's still quite a few other countries - like Germany and Switzerland - where it's legal, regulated, taxed, etc..

To succeed in the US, attitudes would have to continue to evolve. And they certainly could. Just look at how much they've changed relative to Sex Orientation and Gender Identification.

Oh, I agree there are many who would benefit from NSA sex for hire.

But in the U.S. at least, the attitudes are nowhere close to allowing such an option for many who are in what they believe are monogamous relationships.

The couple A and B above comes from personal experience, and it ended with two divorces. Jealousy enters the mix with those on the outside of the sexual action, and it builds to a breaking point. Just the knowledge the spouse is out having fun with someone else even though that same fun-loving spouse would cancel a date to be with their mate anytime the mate wanted is not enough. That's why I said; it's often about control!

Even my current wife had the opinion that when we started dating, within a month, she wanted my promise to be exclusive with her. In her case, she was paranoid about getting an STD, and she didn't want to repeatedly get tested. And that fear of disease is a powerful incentive to many for demanding monogamy.

Just look at how COVID tore the nation apart (at least in the U.S.), while to many people it was little more than a week of bad flu-like symptoms, and they were over it. And many people contracted COVID and didn't even know it! I got it once, and only found out when I tested after a neighbor warned me that three others from a recent party were down with bad symptoms. I got it from that same party and didn't know! But the fear, persecution, and ostracizing those who wouldn't vaccinate was rampant. (I never vaccinated and seem naturally immune.)

And anyone engaging in consensual extra-marital sex WILL be ostracized by some if found out. They just don't realize it. ("We avoid that couple, because he hires an escort for his wife to play around, and I don't want her anywhere near MY husband! So, we never invite them to our parties.")

Fear, jealousy, control, and lack of self-confidence are the four main reasons the majority in the U.S. will oppose legalizing sex work within our lifetimes.

 

[IronCross]

I'm all for legalizing prostitution/sex workers. The women would be required to get regular check-ups to insure the prevention of STD's. The state would receive tax dollars from the legalized business, similar to the legalization of recreational weed where those states are making money hand over fist by taxing it.

If legalized, it could be done either by sex workers going to a person's home or by the sex workers being employed in brothels, which could allow customers to go there, which would also minimize the chance of their friends/neighbors finding out (not that it would be any of their business)

My .02 on the possibility of legalized sex work causing married couples to divorce is that if that were going to be the case, then those marriages were already on shakey ground and would probably get divorced with or without legalized sex work being available.

In my case, being a widower, I'm not inclined to want to cultivate another relationship, but am inclined to desire cultivating a new friendship, such as FWB situation. If sex work were legalized, I'd be able to choose that option to satisfy the normal human need for sexual release/stress relief as well as satisfy the need for that "human touch".

 

[Kenrychard]

Its a statistical fact that men live longer and are healthier, emotionally, physically and mentally, when they have some basic intimacy. It's a travesty that current ideologies have demonized the wife who keeps her husband satisfied even when she is no longer interested. I know my Mom remained sexually active with my Dad for 30 years after full hysterectomy and early menopause, and just for his health. ( Dad was a Ca licensed marriage and family counselor, and told me this when asking me why so many couples in MY generation were coming in for counseling and the wife would say "Oh, but its degrading to have sex when I'm not in the mood". But Dad said my Mom was JOYFUL and said she LOVED him and would keep him satisfied and healthy as long as he needed it.)
And that was just married men, what about all the single guys? We might even have fewer serial rapists and molesters if men had a legal and unthreatening way of getting at least some basic intimacy.
For myself, my marriage was virtually sexless for the last 10 years and I've been divorced another 10. If legal and the workers in a profession they chose, I would be a customer. I can't however support an industry that is full of abuse, sex trafficking and addiction. THAT to me is the real issue, illegal doesn't make it stop, it pushes it into the dark where it is much much worse.

 

[RachelWalsh]

Sex work is for pussies... lol

 

[LoneMilf]

This is already legal and normal in Denmark. No issues.

It is illegal to make money off 'pimping' though, in order to try to counter the inevitable human trafficking and sex slavery related to it. This only works partially, but probably isn't any better or worse than elsewhere.

Prostitution will always be there, regardless of legal status - you might as well get some taxes from it.

 

[HordHolm]

Prostitution will always be there, regardless of legal status - you might as well get some taxes from it.

This. And if by legalising a society could try to remove organised criminality from the process that would probably be a net good.

 

[AprilTwenties]

I'm a provider, boo, so I think it would help my industry. However, interesting point to make....would I have been interested in it if it was legalised? Would it be less 'glamorous', in a seedy sexual way, to attract women like me into the life in the first place? I'm not sure.

It would make it safer....but would it lose that edge?

I'm submissive by nature and the whole streetwalking, looking the part and discouraging looks from others - normal people - plays a big part of my continuing with the lifestyle.

A x

 

[LMWM321]

'm submissive by nature and the whole streetwalking, looking the part and discouraging looks from others - normal people - plays a big part of my continuing with the lifestyle.

Thanks for weighing in.

Can you - or any other Sew Worker reading this - answer a question? Do you ever enjoy what you do? I don't mean orgasm from the sex necessarily, I just mean enjoy it on some human level? ..Or is it always more or less a torment for you to be sexually intimate with a stranger? I understand your goal is to make the client feel like your'e enjoying it, but I'm curious about the truth of it...

I ask because being with a SW might not be such a positive experience after all if I know the person is doing it through gritted teeth. ..That they're dreading what they're doing. ...For some, that's really no better or different than the sex they get at home and is maybe their whole reason for visiting a sex worker.

But even if your answer is "Well, of course I dread it! I'm having sex with someone I have ZERO connection with.." there will still be those who benefit greatly from what you do - people who prefer sex that is perfunctory to NO sex at all. I know if I was a widower, I'd be in the camp before too long.

Would perhaps legitimizing sex work - ie., elevating it to the same professional status as Physical Therapy and Massage Therapy - maybe change your answer? I know a few PTs and Massage Therapists who love what they do b/c of the satisfaction that comes from helping people. Is this/ could this be the case for SW's or is that a huge stretch?

 

[AprilTwenties]

Thanks for weighing in.

Can you - or any other Sew Worker reading this - answer a question? Do you ever enjoy the sex? I don't mean orgasm from it necessarily, I just mean enjoy it on some human level? ..Or is it always more or less a torment for you to be sexually intimate with a stranger? I understand your goal is to make the client feel like your'e enjoying it, but I'm curious about the truth of it...

I ask because being with a SW might not be such a great experience after all if it feels like the person is doing it through gritted teeth. ..That they're dreading what they're doing. ...For some, that's really no better or different than the sex they get at home and maybe their whole reason for visiting a sex worker.

But even if your answer is "Well, of course I dread it! I'm having sex with someone I have ZERO connection with.." there will still be those who benefit greatly from what you do - people who prefer sex that is perfunctory to NO sex at all. I know if I was a widower, I'd be in the camp before too long.

Would perhaps legitimizing sex work - elevating it to the same professional status as Physical Therapy and Massage Therapy - maybe change your answer? I know a few PTs and Massage Therapists who love what they do b/c of the satisfaction that comes from helping people. Is this/ could this be the case for SW's or is that a huge stretch?

Lots there, boo.

So...let's start with streetwalkers and who they are made up of. There's people in forced situations because of pimps and I'd say a lot of them are doing it because they have no other choice. More than just gritted teeth, boo. There's others that are doing it due to financial hardship. It's easy enough to make some pretty good money quickly. Again, not sure of the percentage that do enjoy that. There's others too that naturally enjoy sex and the promiscuity/sex act gets them off. Those, again, with routine I'd say there more that say they like it rather than love it, boo. They get something out of it but not everything is earth-shattering. That's only natural, I think.

Who does enjoy every single minute of every single day at work? I doubt if many do. Same with sex work and being a streetwalker.

There is a large percentage of drug abuse and alcohol use too in those that work the streets. Myself included.

I think there's a huge difference in making someone healthier and fitter by putting hands on them than putting their cock into someone. Sex is something intimate, for some couples, just between them. I know of lots of cases, boo, where the person hooks and their partner insists that they're fine with it but there's lots of green-eyed jealousy involved. Making it more legal won't ever help that.

I'm not your average everyday streetwalker, boo...my introduction, and I'll try to make it concise, was that I read this hooker's postings on a self-help forum, that made me excited, learned that she lived the next city over and blurted out to her, when we met, that I wanted her to 'train' me. Cue 14 or so years later, she's my owner and I hook for her. What gets me off - my kink - is having sex with a punter and thinking about giving her all my money.

Like I said, boo...not your normal prostitute.

My story link...my life story....https://www.literotica.com/series/se/april-from-teen-to-street-hooker

Does all that make sense?

A x

 

[LMWM321]

Yes it makes sense...Thank you so much. ..I now feel a bit stupid re-reading my question b/c it presumes there's one answer. But there isn't and you laid it out perfectly.

I hope you're treated well by every client. ..With the respect and decency you deserve. ..And that you make lots of money so you can retire (or not) whenever it suits you.

Be well AT and thanks again!

 

[AprilTwenties]

Yes it makes sense...Thank you so much. ..I now feel a bit stupid re-reading my question b/c it presumes there's one answer. But there isn't and you laid it out perfectly.

I hope you're treated well by every client. ..With the respect and decency you deserve. ..And that you makes lots of money so you can retire (or not) whenever it suits you.

Be well AT and thanks again!

Thank you, boo!

A x

 

[IronCross]

Really enjoyed this thread, LMWM321, and thanx for starting it. And thank you as well, AprilTwenties, for sharing with us from your inside perspective. I commend your spirit and appreciate your willingness to be straightforward in telling us like it is without trying to sugarcoat or dodge anything. That's solid and my Respects to you!

 

[AprilTwenties]

Really enjoyed this thread, LMWM321, and thanx for starting it. And thank you as well, AprilTwenties, for sharing with us from your inside perspective. I commend your spirit and appreciate your willingness to be straightforward in telling us like it is without trying to sugarcoat or dodge anything. That's solid and my Respects to you!

Thank you.

A x

 

[LMWM321]

April,

In my OP I propose that legalization, and normalizing of sex work might be helpful in saving some marriages where there exists a huge sexual desire discrepancy.

Are you aware of any instances where your client came to you with the full knowledge and consent of their partner? ..And it helped keep the marriage healthy and happy?

 

[AprilTwenties]

April,

In my OP I propose that legalization, and normalizing of sex work might be helpful in saving some marriages where there exists a huge sexual desire discrepancy.

Are you aware of any instances where your client came to you with the full knowledge and consent of their partner? ..And it helped keep the marriage healthy and happy?

Hmmm.....boo, not from males as such. The men fuck us behind their wives back, but I have had at least one woman who had gone with me with her husband's blessing, to learn and experiment. I'm down with that. Both, if I remember, were lovely.

A x

 

[JenniZinc]

Really enjoyed this thread, LMWM321, and thanx for starting it. And thank you as well, AprilTwenties, for sharing with us from your inside perspective. I commend your spirit and appreciate your willingness to be straightforward in telling us like it is without trying to sugarcoat or dodge anything. That's solid and my Respects to you!

"IronCross" had his latest post removed by Literotica moderators, for content relating to a true story of his grooming of his stepdaughter from the age of 4 - he is not happy about it!

 

[JenniZinc]

You've initiated a bogus smear campaign.

Point #1 : I mentioned in that thread that the story was "Realistic Fiction". Look it up, genius.

You didn't mention it was fiction of any type and Literotica deleted your post because of it

 

[LMWM321]

You didn't mention it was fiction of any type and Literotica deleted your post because of it

Take this elsewhere please. It has no relevance to the thread. Moreover, I want NO association whatsoever w/ a story (fact or fiction) or anyone who has written about "grooming." ..Parts of my extended family were decimated by abuse at the hands of a trusted adult; suicides, drug addiction, and lifelong reclusion were the result. These sorts of wounds NEVER heal.

Jenni... I've read and enjoyed your other posts regarding your experience w/ sex work. ..Please don't disappear from this thread. ..Just keep it relevant please.