Revenge...unnecessary violence?

[Ask For More]

Sometimes people feel that violence is the only solution. Obviously it's not, and its totally unacceptable, but sometimes the guilty party will bring it onto themselves.

This leaves me with an interesting moral conundrum. Right now I have a sister who's in university, and staying in student halls nears my house. There's this guy in her flat who's a total asshole; he steals food from the rest of them, takes drugs constantly; basically he has no respect for anyone else or their belongings. Another guy in her flat called the police to report him the other day because his behaviour is so bad. So my sister was asked questions, and she did say that he'd stolen stuff from her, although it's basically food and small things, so obviously she can't offer proof. Now the guy is targeting her specifically. Yesterday at 4am he called her to ask her to let him into the flat. Now she's obviously quite scared of him, so she refused, and he said he was going to kill her. In the morning he left a note on her door saying he was going to beat her.

She called me at 6am on consecutive morning because she was so scared she couldn't sleep.

So I am definitely going to her flat to talk to this guy. Right now I'm really ill, so she's staying at her friends place, and when I get better I'm gonna shoot down there with a couple of friends. Now here's the dilemma. As soon as I heard about it I was so mad I was ready to beat the shit out of him. I mean, he threatened to kill my sister! So when I go down there, I could either break all his toes one by one, and rip out his anal hairs, then tweak his nipples really hard etc etc, or I could just explain the stupidity of his actions, and infer that if he so much as breathes in her direction, I'm gonna lay the smackdown so hard that he'll be drinking through a straw for the rest of his life.

The thing is, I'm not sure if I'll be able to control myself when I see him. One thing I am definitely going to do is give my sister a dictaphone to carry around with her, so whenever she's in her flat I'm gonna tell her to turn it on. Any threats or actions will then be recorded. I'm also going to tell him this, just to let him know that I'm serious.

 

[Guest]

 

[SweetCherry]

OK, first of all, you have EVERY right to be pissed. A man has no business threatening to beat a girl EVER, IMO. Don't think of this as a sexist response tho. That's just how I'm looking at this.

Take your friends wiht you. Make sure they know ahead of time to NOT let you lay a hand on him unless he hits you first. Scare the fuck out of him. Make sure he knows that he's going to be one hurting unit if he even looks cross eyed in your sister's direction.

Give her the recorder. Also supply her with many tapes. let him know that anything he says to her will also go to the police. If ther's been complaints against him before, this is all going to go into his file and he'll get more shit against him.

Is there any way of getting him kicked out of the flat? If he's being that abusive to the rest of the people living there, there might be a reason to evict him.

Good luck.

 

[Freya]

I would think the fact that she has a note threatening her would be enough proof to take to the police now. Why take the chance on you being arrested when instead it could be him.

 

[Ask For More]

She threw the note away by accident....she's still young and she didn't really think straight at the time since she was so panicked. Man she was almost crying over the phone and I'm completely sick right now so I feel really helpless.

Now the law states that if someone starts a fight with me, then as long as I've stated clrealy three times that I know martial arts and that I could kill him, then it would be damn difficult for him to charge me for any assualt since I'd made it completely clear of my capabilities.

It's just that I do have a really bad temper when it comes to things like these. Hardly anything pisses me off, but man, threaten my friends or my family like that and it's like war. I don't know if I can control myself enough to not kick his ass.

 

[LukkyKnight]

Revenge is a synonym for escalation. It solves nothing.

 

[Ask For More]

See I've grown up in a rough area and seen a lot of things, so violence is not a stranger to me anyway. Although I've seen loads of situations resolved by talking, I've seen loads escalate to violence unneccesarily.

Has anyone been in a situation where violence became totally unavoidable? And I mean, a situation where it really was the last resort. I think if you haven't been then it can be really hard to understand why there's so much violence sometimes.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Immediately consult with the local constabulary. Most locations have anti-stalking laws and they will tell you what you need to do to get her protected by them.

 

[Lasher]

The thing is, I'm not sure if I'll be able to control myself when I see him. One thing I am definitely going to do is give my sister a dictaphone to carry around with her, so whenever she's in her flat I'm gonna tell her to turn it on. Any threats or actions will then be recorded. I'm also going to tell him this, just to let him know that I'm serious.

You may want to check out how whatever laws you have in your area apply to the recording of conversations. Doing something like this could make her more of a criminal than he is in the eyes of the law.

 

[peachykeen]

If this is going on in the residence hall of the university, then why on earth aren't they doing anything about it? I am quite sure they do not want to be sued for many many many pounds and have their name in the press for failing to protect their students if anything did happen to your sister...

 

[sufisaint]

Not all physical conflicts are violence...If you are protecting somone from an aggressor it is the absolute right thing to do. What you need to do is do it in the right way. First, you never fight in anger, it clouds your judgement and actually is a weak statefor fighting. You need to be clear headed and resolved on victory...not revenge. You must be contolled in your attack to make sure it does not go beyond the threat..ie breaking bones over something petty. In this case it threats against your sister...the appropriate solution in my eyes would be maybe one or two hits to the stomache or ribs...enough to put him down and than maybe a foot on the head with a strict warning...leave no marks or incrimating evidence...obviously if he escalates than you do the same... and be prepared too as well...

There is honor in defending the ones you love...you just have to do it without anger...

 

[Guest]