Reality vs June Cleaver

[Calamity Jane]

We tend to see the "family" of yesteryear where the farther figure ran the show and mom just sat home and did nothing...

The above is a quote from another thread. Who said it isn't important, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately.

Do we still see stay at home moms as pearl and apron wearing bridge club members who simply sit at home doing needle point and making beds?

I know that my husband has no clue what I do everyday. He's pretty sure that I spend 10 minutes cleaning up the kitchen, make lunch, get the little one down for a nap, and spend the rest of the day on the internet or reading a book.

In reality, this is my day so far today:

I got up at 630, while he was still sleeping, and got the oldest ready for school and onto the bus. Then, I got the youngest up, dressed, and off to daycare. By the time I got home, Mr PCG was up and he helped me feed the horses and give the colt his injections (usually I feed alone, but can't hold the colt for shots by myself). I loaded the diswasher, put laundry in to wash and a load in the dryer, got online, checked email, went to pick the little one up, picked up my friend Sharon, went to Kinkos to drop off advertising postcards for Mr PCG, went to WalMart, got home in time to give the colt his afternoon shots, took my friend Sharon back home, drove back here, made lunch, put more laundry in, and just sat down to check email again. The oldest will be home in an hour, and then it will be time to make snacks, get dinner ready, clean up the kitchen, do more laundry, and give the colt his evening shots.

Granted, I'm not usually doubling as a vet, but there's always SOMETHING else happening.

Do the non stay at home spouses have any idea what goes on in their house everyday or how much work it is just to keep a family going?

Am I the only stay at home who feels like she's always one step behind?

 

[Guest]

Not to me. But my view point won't be popular in Afganistan.

 

[Temptress_1960]

The unfortunate thing is that for many of us, add 8 hours of going to work to that schedule, and reshuffle everything else in around it.

That is not meant to belittle what stay at home moms do.

Being a stay at home mom is a full-time job in itself, and one that gets little appreciation.

The more hours I work at my other jobs, the less time and energy I have for all those things I used to be able to stay home and do.

I'm not even gonna tell you the last time I mopped my kitchen floor or actually set my table for dinner.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I agree that it's difficult to be a mom who works. I've done that too. When I was pregnant with my first, I worked two jobs and took care of the house. I worked all through my second pregnancy too, but couldn't afford to pay daycare on what I was making, so staying at home was the only economically feasible decision I could make.

The only real difference I can see is that when I was 'working' everyone respected the fact that I was exhausted. Now, it seems like everyone's attitude is "Why are you so tired, you stay home all day"

 

[deliciously_naughty]

The unfortunate thing is that for many of us, add 8 hours of going to work to that schedule, and reshuffle everything else in around it.

That is not meant to belittle what stay at home moms do.

Being a stay at home mom is a full-time job in itself, and one that gets little appreciation.

The more hours I work at my other jobs, the less time and energy I have for all those things I used to be able to stay home and do.

I'm not even gonna tell you the last time I mopped my kitchen floor or actually set my table for dinner.

I agree (especially with the last thing said) and I'm not even a mom yet!

 

[JaymesBlond007]

*just running through*

But had to drop you a big (((PCG))).

 

[Tranquility]

Only one step behind NO several daily

I am a stay at home mom/stay home aunt mom/business owner/outside sales rep/every damn thing...
My day usually begins at about 530 after ending at about 230 am as I am owner of a dialup diva line...gotta get the hubby off then lay down for 45 mins...get the kid off to school think about laying down *sigh* no time...neice arrives or maybe she spent the night with her aunt mommie and family she's 4 stays home. Fix her some breakfast...check email..locate ole dora the explorer for the lil one so I can do some housework. Make lunch....do 2 calls in between lunch and breakfast ...check emails..place orders for company I don't own but do outside sales for. Make sales calls to umpteen million ppl. Read little one story TRY to convince her a nap is the way to go...no deal, whats new. Son comes home looking for food he is a teenager always hungry. Sit for a little while watch something on tv not sure what to tired to concentrate. Hubby comes home..make supper...do 2 calls during dinner cause other girls aren't on yet wash dishes...damnit forgot to do his work clothes out to washroom I go. Check email again for replys to business and personal emails. Send kids to bed...try to steal sometime with my hubby if he isn't doing his own paperwork....send hubby to bed....dispatch calls to girls and take a call or 2...off to bed 230 am....damnit and its only mon 6 more days to go til off day....knowing i forgot something who knows what it will be waiting in the am i am sure LOL

 

[CoolidgEffect]

Do we still see stay at home moms as pearl and apron wearing bridge club members who simply sit at home doing needle point and making beds?

I am not sure this was ever a reality. Just nostalgia, that the concervatives would like us to believe was realitly and it is not fair to women then or now.

Did any of your grandmothers really sit at home wondering what to do with their 9 hours home alone?

 

[Calamity Jane]

Re: *just running through*

But had to drop you a big (((PCG))).

Hey darlin. It's your fault I posted this anyway, tellin me I'm no Donna Reed

 

[huskie]

and I'll bet things run a hell of a lot smoother at your home for it! Our weekends are crambed with this stuff that you do most every day. I wish I could make enough money so my wife could stay at home. Our life would be less stresfull but we would have a hell of a lot less.....

How did we get this way? Is it just the extra cost of living??

 

[Raina]

My sister is a stay at home mom with 3 kids, and I gotta tell you, I respect the hell out of her for that. She works her ass off.

She never has a true day off, there's always something pressing that she's got to do. One of the kids is in 1st grade, and one is in pre-school, so she's always running somewhere to pick someone up. The other is 5 months old.

I couldn't do what she does.

 

[Temptress_1960]

The only real difference I can see is that when I was 'working' everyone respected the fact that I was exhausted. Now, it seems like everyone's attitude is "Why are you so tired, you stay home all day"

That is so true. I see that in my church job. I hear people say, "ask so-and-so to do it, she doesn't work." Now, so-and-so may have 4 children under the age of 10 as well as all those other little chores like errands for the hubby. And, I have friends who structured and made certain choices so that Mom could stay home. They felt that was important to do, and don't think they didn't make sacrifices to do that. It's really not fair to use them as a source of free labor.

When my children were small, I worked retail part-time. I was a stay-at-home mom all day, and then worked 5-10 five nights a week. I remember the "so what the heck do you do all day" remarks.

 

[Guest]

 

[Calamity Jane]

Re: Re: Reality vs June Cleaver

Did any of your grandmothers really sit at home wondering what to do with their 9 hours home alone?

My grandmothers both worked fulltime jobs as soon as the kids were in school.

 

[dickE]

Also known but seldom reported quotation by June Cleaver:

"Ward. Don't you think you're being a little hard on the beaver??"****

 

[Temptress_1960]

Yep, what a rip off. I thought that as a stay at home mom I'd be eating bonbons and watching the soaps all day.

Imagine my dismay.

The kids ate the bonbons and left little chocolaty fingerprints on everything.

I'd have watched the soaps... if the baby wasn't fussy, and the cat wasn't throwing up, and the toddler was being shut in the dryer by his slightly older brother. By the time I dealt with all that, damned if it wasn't time to give people naps while I cooked dinner.

Once again, disillusioned by reality.

I never even had time to put on my spiffy housedress, high heels and pearls - in fact, I never got out of those sweatpants stained where the baby's diaper leaked, and the sweatshirt where the toddler blew his nose on my arm. I counted myself lucky to get them laundered daily, and extra lucky on those days when I could find both sneakers.

 

[CoolidgEffect]

Re: Re: Re: Reality vs June Cleaver

My grandmothers both worked fulltime jobs as soon as the kids were in school.

Yeah, I shouldn't have implied that people's grandmothers didn't work either. Both mine did too.

 

[JaymesBlond007]

Originally posted by pagancowgirl
Hey darlin. It's your fault I posted this anyway, tellin me I'm no Donna Reed

You're not Donna Reed. I never meant for you to feel like that was better than who you are, nor do I even think that she should be a suitable role model for a parent/spouse today. She's not a fart in the wind as far as I'm concerned.

Damands on parents are unbelievable today. Mothers playing the role of father, fathers playing mother, fathers playing "uncle", whatever. I was trying to make light of the situation and make you laugh.

You remeber laughing don't you?

no we're not related...

I hold great respect for any parent, step parent, foster parent, etc. that can stick to their guns and properly raise their childeren. To be honest, I'm not sure if I could do it if the oppertunity ever fell in my court.

So please. Don't try to compare yourself with anyone else because it's appearant that your doing juuuust fine.

K?

Well it's obvious that I'm rambling, so you perverts behave.

NOOCH!

 

[tyme]

I agree with what most of you have said I have been so lucky my husband was a stay at home dad for a year we only had one child at the time not 3 so it was easier but he has some idea of what it is like for me.

 

[Samuari]

I don't think that anyone really understands what is involved in making a houshold run if they aren't doing it. For 18 months I got to "play Mr Mom" while Madam s compleated her nursing degree. It was a lhuge chalenge and one of the most rewarding times that I ever had as a parent. I never quite got the hang of making everything work out smoothly, the way that she was able to do.


I think that you gals do yourselves a disservice by making it look so easy that we assume that of course you have time for "just one more thing." After doing it for a while, I never made that assumption again.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I want to start working again, and around adults thankyouverymuch. Cracks me up when people suggest I do at home daycare. I can barely take my own kids, much less somebody else's brats. ;-)

I'm hoping I can get by with part-time work, because I seriously think I would go insane being a single mom virtually every waking hour I wasn't working.

 

[Calamity Jane]

You're not Donna Reed. I never meant for you to feel like that was better than who you are, K?

Well it's obvious that I'm rambling, so you perverts behave.

NOOCH!

Darlin, I was just givin you a hard time. I know what you meant, and I know it was meant in fun.

 

[SaucyWench]

PCG, I've got this great excerpt from a '40s/'50s manual for young women on how to be an ideal, loving wife. Don't you know, you're supposed to freshen up before he comes home, keep the kids quiet when he is home, have dinner on the table, the house spotless, his after work drink prepared, offer to take off his socks and shoes, turn the freshly pressed sheets down just in case he wants a little nap before dinner and never, ever bother him with any of your problems, because, according to this manual, none of your problems matter compared to his "real work" problems, your problems are petty and you shouldn't clutter up his day with your trivial concerns.

Sheesh, quit bitching and start being an ideal wife! You know you want to be!

I couldn't be a stay at home mom. When I was on maternity leave for 3 months, I was going crazy, ready to go back to work for a little quiet time! I admire the moms who can stay at home with their kids AND manage to fit in PTA, soccer games, various lessons, cookie baking, etc. etc. I have to cram all my household shit into two days...not fun.

Love ya hon!

 

[Ham Murabi]

You never saw June Cleaver do anything (except give Wally the evil eye when he thought about drinking milk straight from the carton), but what the hell did Ward do? From my recollection, all he ever did was read the paper.
And he wore a tie even after he got home from whatever job he had.

There's no question just looking over a household and the occupants is work.

 

[Calamity Jane]

PCG, I've got this great excerpt from a '40s/'50s manual for young women on how to be an ideal, loving wife. Don't you know, you're supposed to freshen up before he comes home, keep the kids quiet when he is home, have dinner on the table, the house spotless, his after work drink prepared, offer to take off his socks and shoes, turn the freshly pressed sheets down just in case he wants a little nap before dinner and never, ever bother him with any of your problems, because, according to this manual, none of your problems matter compared to his "real work" problems, your problems are petty and you shouldn't clutter up his day with your trivial concerns.

LOL

My mom bought that book when her and my dad started having problems. Applied every principle for 2 months. He was thrilled, she wanted to stick a knife in him. Sound familiar?