Litiquette

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Don't you usually just stop chatting and avoid threads they post in?

that,,too..., but I was referring to when you've taken the time to converse with them off thread a little. Gotten to know them better?Perhaps they say something that makes you uneasy, or seems way off base, or pushes too much in one direction after you've indicated you don't want to talk/do something

 

[Thandi]

depends on the boundary. And the vibe I get from the one who crossed it. .

Sometimes that trust can be repaired, but more often than not, as in real life, things are never the same as before one you've taken something too far.

Don't you usually just stop chatting and avoid threads they post in?

that,,too..., but I was referring to when you've taken the time to converse with them off thread a little. Gotten to know them better?Perhaps they say something that makes you uneasy, or seems way off base, or pushes too much in one direction after you've indicated you don't want to talk/do something

I was taking it as a playful boundary.
NEVER, ever should a hard boundary be crossed!

 

[Spins]

that,,too..., but I was referring to when you've taken the time to converse with them off thread a little. Gotten to know them better?Perhaps they say something that makes you uneasy, or seems way off base, or pushes too much in one direction after you've indicated you don't want to talk/do something

If that happens I say I am sorry, that the medium in which we communicate is not the best at determining tone and intent, and offer to make amends

 

[SweetSam42]

I think how to handle it depends on the nature of the relationship to begin with. Someone new who knows what's off limits but pushes anyway? I have no time for it and will likely just ditch.

If there's a good, open relationship to begin with, a talk about it to just clarify things can do the trick. Sometimes those boundaries are a moving target, and if all was done without ill intent, things can carry on without much of a hiccup. Maybe you'll realize it wasn't such a bad idea after all.

 

[stickygirl]

depends on the boundary. And the vibe I get from the one who crossed it. .

Sometimes that trust can be repaired, but more often than not, as in real life, things are never the same as before one you've taken something too far.

This..

Don't you usually just stop chatting and avoid threads they post in?

and that ..

 

[ChainedUp]

I'm curious, how many of you could walk away from Lit tomorrow and never look back? I've seen people take extended breaks (myself included) and come back, I've seen people say their good byes and never show up again, and I've seen people do a grand, find farewell only to be back a week later.

Could you walk away?

 

[stickygirl]

I'm curious, how many of you could walk away from Lit tomorrow and never look back? I've seen people take extended breaks (myself included) and come back, I've seen people say their good byes and never show up again, and I've seen people do a grand, find farewell only to be back a week later.

Could you walk away?

It's in the conditions of my bail - I have to check in with Laurel twice every 24hours… at least that's what she told me.

There are a lot of threads that are just re-hashes of what's been said before and so my interest has waned a little, but until something better comes along, I'll keep in touch. It's the people not so much the subject matter that keeps things going.

 

[SweetSam42]

My interest here has slowed a bit lately, but Lit's still my addiction, so would be tough to shake cold turkey.

My interest will eventually slow enough that I just leave, but that won't be tomorrow.

 

[SC_Chiver]

My interest here has slowed a bit lately, but Lit's still my addiction, so would be tough to shake cold turkey.

My interest will eventually slow enough that I just leave, but that won't be tomorrow.

I'm hoping that's why I haven't heard from you as much...

 

[BreezySnow]

I'm curious, how many of you could walk away from Lit tomorrow and never look back? I've seen people take extended breaks (myself included) and come back, I've seen people say their good byes and never show up again, and I've seen people do a grand, find farewell only to be back a week later.

Could you walk away?

It would depend on what is happening in my life. If i am in a happy relationship i would let my friends know i am leaving so we could find another way to keep in touch.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I could walk away. (LOL - and never have another drink, and never drive fast again, and never flirt with the cute barista again).

However, I could - and I base that on the simple fact that I have walked away from other sites that turned sour. If you formed any good friendships, then those friendships just change and move into other venues or carry on in email or text or phone or person as the case may be.

I wanted to get my belated boundaries answer in:

If it was an explicit serious boundary, something we talked about and you were well aware of it, you get one accidental crossing. On the second one, it is good luck, good bye, get out. I have a couple of these - for example, no recreational drug use, no criminal friends, don't lie to me with the intent to deceive, and no drunken drama sessions.*

If it was an implied boundary, then you get the one warning ticket, an explanation of what the boundary is and why it is there, and then it is moved into the explicit boundary thing.

*No drugs. I really don't care if other people use recreational drugs, it is a personal choice. In my experience though - nothing good comes of it and I don't want it in my life.

*You are most likely to be victimized by people who know you (not necessarily your friends, but people who know you patterns, are in your space with you consent, etc.). Everyone makes mistakes in life, but if you or your friends criminal mistakes happen over and over...well, good luck with that.

*I do not mind white lies, and lie to yourself all you want, I just won't tolerate lies where the intention is to deceive. If you tell me "oh, I love jazz" when you don't that's fine. (LOL - but don't be surprised when you end up listening to way more jazz then you ever wanted too.) But, if you tell me "Oh, I was at work late" when I accidentally ran across you having cocktails with your friends, well that is a flat out deal breaker.

*No drunken drama. I have no problem with drinking, no problem with drinking hard and partying hard - but, you must be a pleasant and fun drunk, one who wears lampshades and dances on tables and leaps into the fountain in your LBD. Not one who cries, laments past lovers, and rages against the innocent dishes. No time for that. Good luck, good bye, get out.

 

[NotHisLady]

I'm curious, how many of you could walk away from Lit tomorrow and never look back? I've seen people take extended breaks (myself included) and come back, I've seen people say their good byes and never show up again, and I've seen people do a grand, find farewell only to be back a week later.

Could you walk away?

I could. Actually I have (oh now you all hush--I know I'm here now.)
When I came back it was to answer a post from a friend who had left something for me and let me know it.
Once I got here I just sort of stayed. The conversation was good, found this thread, a few other things.
Eventually I'll wander off again. Something might bring me back or not I enjoy being here, I like the people for the most part but when I'm not here I don't really miss it.

 

[ChainedUp]

Happy Friday everyone!

Paul Chance's reply got me to thinking and has taken me back to the original theme of this thread which was "what is good Litquette". Paul's reply was well thought out but it was really long. Some threads call for a specified word count that is strictly adhered to. Others, like this one, are really open ended, post what you want, kind of threads. Is there an expectation for post lengths or is it more of a "as long as you have coherent thoughts and can form proper sentences write away" expectation?

 

[kimbalee]

Happy Friday everyone!

Paul Chance's reply got me to thinking and has taken me back to the original theme of this thread which was "what is good Litquette". Paul's reply was well thought out but it was really long. Some threads call for a specified word count that is strictly adhered to. Others, like this one, are really open ended, post what you want, kind of threads. Is there an expectation for post lengths or is it more of a "as long as you have coherent thoughts and can form proper sentences write away" expectation?

I don't mind long posts, as long as they are coherent, and with good grammar. After all, I have been reading here for years so I must not mind a bunch of words all strung together in nice, neat rows and can be happy when they go on for a while.

good morning, ChainedUp.

 

[BreezySnow]

Happy Friday everyone!

Paul Chance's reply got me to thinking and has taken me back to the original theme of this thread which was "what is good Litquette". Paul's reply was well thought out but it was really long. Some threads call for a specified word count that is strictly adhered to. Others, like this one, are really open ended, post what you want, kind of threads. Is there an expectation for post lengths or is it more of a "as long as you have coherent thoughts and can form proper sentences write away" expectation?

I think if the thread has a subject and you are responding to it then post away. If there is a limit to what you can post and you can follow that limit then post away.
If you dont like having limitations then stay away from threads that have them.
I think it is pretty clear cut.

By the way, I didn't feel Paul had a really long post, he answered two of your questions so it just looked longer. I have seen people write whole stories just to relay a simple message that could have been done in one paragraph, those types I avoid! I don't need to know that you walked five steps and then took a drink at the water fountain just so you can say yes, I did see him yesterday!

 

[stickygirl]

I confess that I often skip over long replies unless it's a topic of particular interest or unless other people make reference to it. I might then go back and read it in full. I'm often pushed for time and only here out of interest, not obligation.

I've written long replies elsewhere when the subject warrants it. TBH Litiquette is only a semi-serious thread but it's fun learning about the experiences of other Litsters and their opinions. Y'all make great reading

 

[Paul_Chance]

<<Caution: This poster likes to swim in the deeper end of the pool of life. This does result in excessive splashing. Please wear your water wings.>>

As far as Litiquette is concerned, if there are explicit limitations on the length of a response, then good manners requires that we do our best to adhere to them.

For example, I like to read and post in Arouse Me In Five Words - I find the length restriction challenging and amusing. I am also a fan of short form poetry and flash fiction - both arts require precision and discipline in writing.

As for posts in general, I think Litiquette requires a sort of Goldilocks approach. Not short, not long, but just right. Of course, just right is subjective.

(And why, oh why, did I just flash on the endless "does size matter" threads.)

Personally, I tend toward longer responses because I like to think my response out, provide some context, and explore the topic. I prefer to read thought out, context driven posts that reflect some level of self-awareness and self-exploration.

I was a little at a loss on this topic because my initial thought was - dang, that was a pretty passive-aggressive way of telling me to write less. Then I realized I don't know Chained that well - so rather then go with my immediate reaction, I thought I would respond and ask the simple counter question.

Are my posts too long for your thread Chained? Would you like me write shorter responses or go away?

 

[may_I_please]

<<Caution: This poster likes to swim in the deeper end of the pool of life. This does result in excessive splashing. Please wear your water wings.>>

As far as Litiquette is concerned, if there are explicit limitations on the length of a response, then good manners requires that we do our best to adhere to them.

For example, I like to read and post in Arouse Me In Five Words - I find the length restriction challenging and amusing. I am also a fan of short form poetry and flash fiction - both arts require precision and discipline in writing.

As for posts in general, I think Litiquette requires a sort of Goldilocks approach. Not short, not long, but just right. Of course, just right is subjective.

(And why, oh why, did I just flash on the endless "does size matter" threads.)

Personally, I tend toward longer responses because I like to think my response out, provide some context, and explore the topic. I prefer to read thought out, context driven posts that reflect some level of self-awareness and self-exploration.

I was a little at a loss on this topic because my initial thought was - dang, that was a pretty passive-aggressive way of telling me to write less. Then I realized I don't know Chained that well - so rather then go with my immediate reaction, I thought I would respond and ask the simple counter question.

Are my posts too long for your thread Chained? Would you like me write shorter responses or go away?

I stalk you a little just so I can read your thoughts, you are always interesting and make me think

So in sum, don't you dare ...please

 

[Thandi]

<<Caution: This poster likes to swim in the deeper end of the pool of life. This does result in excessive splashing. Please wear your water wings.>>

As far as Litiquette is concerned, if there are explicit limitations on the length of a response, then good manners requires that we do our best to adhere to them.

For example, I like to read and post in Arouse Me In Five Words - I find the length restriction challenging and amusing. I am also a fan of short form poetry and flash fiction - both arts require precision and discipline in writing.

As for posts in general, I think Litiquette requires a sort of Goldilocks approach. Not short, not long, but just right. Of course, just right is subjective.

(And why, oh why, did I just flash on the endless "does size matter" threads.)

Personally, I tend toward longer responses because I like to think my response out, provide some context, and explore the topic. I prefer to read thought out, context driven posts that reflect some level of self-awareness and self-exploration.

I was a little at a loss on this topic because my initial thought was - dang, that was a pretty passive-aggressive way of telling me to write less. Then I realized I don't know Chained that well - so rather then go with my immediate reaction, I thought I would respond and ask the simple counter question.

Are my posts too long for your thread Chained? Would you like me write shorter responses or go away?

Don't go away Paul, I love your well thought out posts.

 

[rubydlite]

I stalk you a little just so I can read your thoughts, you are always interesting and make me think

So in sum, don't you dare ...please

^^^^

This...x 2

 

[Little_Sister]

<<Caution: This poster likes to swim in the deeper end of the pool of life. This does result in excessive splashing. Please wear your water wings.>>

As far as Litiquette is concerned, if there are explicit limitations on the length of a response, then good manners requires that we do our best to adhere to them.

For example, I like to read and post in Arouse Me In Five Words - I find the length restriction challenging and amusing. I am also a fan of short form poetry and flash fiction - both arts require precision and discipline in writing.

As for posts in general, I think Litiquette requires a sort of Goldilocks approach. Not short, not long, but just right. Of course, just right is subjective.

(And why, oh why, did I just flash on the endless "does size matter" threads.)

Personally, I tend toward longer responses because I like to think my response out, provide some context, and explore the topic. I prefer to read thought out, context driven posts that reflect some level of self-awareness and self-exploration.

I was a little at a loss on this topic because my initial thought was - dang, that was a pretty passive-aggressive way of telling me to write less. Then I realized I don't know Chained that well - so rather then go with my immediate reaction, I thought I would respond and ask the simple counter question.

Are my posts too long for your thread Chained? Would you like me write shorter responses or go away?

I also really enjoy stalking you. All of your posts seem well thought out. It is a nice breath of fresh air, so no, please don't stop.


I am often back and forth on here, doing laundry or dishes so I may only have a few seconds. I like HYE and this or that. Short, easy, no thinking required. My PMs on here can get a bit lengthy, so if you don;t want to read a novel, don't PM me I find conversation easier one on one in PM. If you are asking me something, I don't feel like I am pushing my views on you, only telling you my opinion.

 

[dutchrain]

Happy Friday everyone!

Paul Chance's reply got me to thinking and has taken me back to the original theme of this thread which was "what is good Litquette". Paul's reply was well thought out but it was really long. Some threads call for a specified word count that is strictly adhered to. Others, like this one, are really open ended, post what you want, kind of threads. Is there an expectation for post lengths or is it more of a "as long as you have coherent thoughts and can form proper sentences write away" expectation?

To me in threads like this it is "as long as you have coherent thoughts and can form proper sentences write away". The post should relate to a thought or question in an other post which interested me though. Otherwise I'll simply skip it.

Short posts of bantering along between two or more (which occurs in an 'open' (not really constricted to one topic) thread like this I'll read. I am a curious person.

 

[ChainedUp]

To be clear, I would never try to tell sometime to not post here. As long as posts are non-threatening, non-aggressive, please post away. I've always tried to have this be a safe zone where all thoughts are welcomed and never attacked.

As far as the topic goes, I'm always looking for a provocative one. Something where the debate can be lively. Nothing worse for the OP than to see a topic only get 1 or 2 replies.

I liken this to driving, everyone says they encounter such bad drivers. In reality there's a good chance you are the bad driver everyone is talking about. So if I would post about people rolling through stop signs, don't take it personal if you roll through stops signs, it's just an opportunity for lively discussion.

 

[Paul_Chance]

To be clear, I would never try to tell sometime to not post here. As long as posts are non-threatening, non-aggressive, please post away. I've always tried to have this be a safe zone where all thoughts are welcomed and never attacked.

As far as the topic goes, I'm always looking for a provocative one. Something where the debate can be lively. Nothing worse for the OP to see a topic only get 1 or 2 replies.

I liken this to driving, everyone says they encounter such bad drivers. In reality there's a good chance you are the bad driver everyone is talking about. So if I would post about people rolling through stop signs, don't take it personal if you roll through stops signs, it's just an opportunity for lively discussion.

Thanks - just checking. The devil is a gentleman who never goes where he isn't invited.

 

[stickygirl]

I stalk you a little just so I can read your thoughts, you are always interesting and make me think

So in sum, don't you dare ...please

*adds Paul to my stalking list*