Down the rabbit hole

[Apisto42]

I've gone back and forth on posting something about my life recently and decided this might be the best way. We found out my wife had cancer in summer of 2023. It has been a nightmare the past 3 years. I think one of the hardest things as her husband and care giver was the relentless cycle of hope and depressing news. Brutal chemo for 4 months, watching her fight through it, grace and determination day in a day out, an 11 hour surgery. More months of chemo. Then pain starting again, debilitating life altering pain. Months of trying to find out why it was happening. Then the news that it had metastasized, followed by more chemo. That worked in some areas but not all. The elevation to "take any of this stuff that might help slow it down" chemo.

The past month involved two hospital stays along with her getting to go to our son's college graduation. Last week we came home and that was about it. She died during the witching hour of Saturday to Sunday. I am so relieved that she is no longer in pain. There are some things for which the end is the only hope of peace.

Which is fitting, since she was a good witch. Helping people her whole life and truly wanting the best for people she knew.

Thank you to all of you who have reached out to support me, listened to me scream and cry and most importantly made me laugh and take a break. My circle of people offline had gotten very small during covid and then even smaller during the cancer trail. My friends on lit, you have made me smile, laugh and take a step away from some really dark times. The boobs have been great too.




So I suppose this will be a bit of diarist thread. Whatever I'm thinking about, plans, probably some links which @Endless_Night won't ever click on, and links which I'll shamelessly steal from @PrettyLilPussy19.

 

[seela]

I’m so, so sorry for all of this.

Hugs, warm thoughts and flowers. And booze. (It’s the closest emoji, as a word, to boobs and might help.)

 

[questquilya]

Yes, this is heartbreaking. So sorry for your loss and all you have been through.
Booze in moderation and not alone if you can avoid it. All the boobs the world can share.

 

[Zumbamami_69]

Rabbit,
You know how I feel, but I wanted to offer my condolences. I borrow from Langston Hughes, who has better words than I.

I loved my friend.
He went away from me.
There’s nothing more to say.
The poem ends,
Soft as it began,—
I loved my friend.

From The Weary Blues (Alfred A. Knopf, 1926) by Langston Hughes.​

Know we care about you and are here for you.
~Z

 

[barefootgirl69]

{{{big hugs}}}

I'm sorry, my friend.

 

[Wonderer67]

I’m so sorry to hear this sad news.

My deepest condolences to you and your family. I was glad that she was able to get to your son’s graduation. I’m sure that meant a lot to everyone.

Go easy…

https://imgur.com/a/FzuZ7lC

 

[EyesOnHers]

I am so sorry to hear this, Rabbit.
For all the pain and heartbreak you have been dealing with and are going through.
My condolences to you and your family.

I wish you strength for the hard road ahead.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

All my hugs and all my love, my friend.
And my links too if you need them.

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

*biggest of hugs*

 

[MissSNG]

Oh man, sweet rabbit
Thank you for being vulnerable and trusting us to share here.
Sending you the biggest boob squishing hug.

 

[BVVRG]

I am very sorry to read this. I am glad that you can take comfort that she is no longer suffering.

Please try and look after yourself as you reassemble your life over the coming weeks and months. You too have suffered over the last few years, and should treat yourself accordingly.

 

[asian2015]

Sincere Condolences to you and your family, @Apisto42.
Thank you for sharing with us.
Prayers and thoughts are with you at this sad time.
Reach out anytime you need to.

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Damn really sorry. I never know what to say in these instances. You never know what people are going thru.

 

[Luv2LickSweets]

Our paths have not crossed much, and we have not really conversed. As someone who lost a parent to cancer, all I can say is I am extremely sorry for your loss and hold all of the memories close and cherish the great times you had together!

 

[ScarletDaisy]

I'm sorry to read this and I'm so very sorry for your loss. I wish I had something better to say. You're in my prayers.

 

[Endless_Night]

The witching hour is a most auspicious time for witches to pass.

Blessed be.

 

[Apisto42]

The witching hour is a most auspicious time for witches to pass.

Blessed be.

She had a smile at the end.

The clouds are breaking up today, the birds are singing and the woods are redolent with the scent of honeysuckle.

Our paths have not crossed much, and we have not really conversed. As someone who lost a parent to cancer, all I can say is I am extremely sorry for your loss and hold all of the memories close and cherish the great times you had together!

I worry most about my son, turning 24, just graduated from college, and he’s lost his biggest love and biggest supporter. It’s going to be hard on him.

 

[Apisto42]

Going to the funeral home this afternoon to make the arrangements. That’s going to suck. But should be pretty easy. We’re going to hold off on a memorial service and just concentrate on living for a bit.

 

[lilmissdarling]

My heart goes out to you and your family. Wishing you comfort, peace, and moments of light in the middle of all this hurt.

 

[Luv2LickSweets]

I worry most about my son, turning 24, just graduated from college, and he’s lost his biggest love and biggest supporter. It’s going to be hard on him.

As he starts his new chapter of life after graduation, he will just need you to be there for him. We all process differently and on different timelines, and in my opinion just be there for each other, as I am sure you will be.

 

[EyesOnHers]

I worry most about my son, turning 24, just graduated from college, and he’s lost his biggest love and biggest supporter. It’s going to be hard on him.

Of course you worry most about your son. Because you are a good man and a good dad.
And your comment makes it obvious he has not lost his biggest supporter... he has you.
An equally big champion to his life and his goals.
You will support and love him all the way through as he will do the same for you.