Litiquette

[walkawayrenee]

Private Message - when it's something special.....a little time out of someone's busy day to let you know they've thought about you, well....it is just a good feeling. Even when we've moved on to other ways of communication, I still never tire of it.

 

[Little_Sister]

I think of it like I do texts. I have a friend who texts me a few mornings a week, just telling me she is thinking about me, or asking me about some event going on during my week.

It makes me feel wonderful. Just a few words, convey that I am in her thoughts and to be honest it means the world to me... that our friendship is as important to her as it is to me.

For PMs, from someone I am SRPing with, it is exciting... seeing what they will do next and where our dirty little story is headed.

For others... like 20 question type PMs they are fun and flirty. I just like asking, and answering. Those are probably my fave. I like learning about the person.

The friendly, Good Morning PMs from a friend are nice and help you feel connected to the person.

The SPAMy, lets Skype ones, I just roll my eyes and delete.

 

[NotHisLady]

Tuesday, always the "it can't be worse than yesterday" day of the week.

Nothing beats waking up and seeing that you have a PM, going to the inbox, seeing just who has sent a message and opening it to see what that message contains. A quick read and a reply, no matter what, always the polite thing to do. And then you get a reply to your reply, and on it goes. Eventually, should things progress, you leave the world of PM behind for alternate forms of more immediate communication. The PM becomes rare again but you don't mind.

But what is it about a receiving a PM? Just seeing one often evokes a response in you before it's even read. Why do we love our PMs so much.

~Someone I know of but don't know? That's like having someone come up and say hi. A good feeling.
~A reply means furthering a conversation--maybe a new one. Another good feeling.

But if I read you right you mean a message from someone who has become a regular contact in some other way. Those are like finding little unexpected notes--maybe naughty, maybe not. Something reminding me that I'm on someone's mind outside of those conversations. That is a very good feeling. Especially if they turn up at a time when we can't be in touch some other way.

 

[SweetSam42]

Private Message - when it's something special.....a little time out of someone's busy day to let you know they've thought about you, well....it is just a good feeling. Even when we've moved on to other ways of communication, I still never tire of it.

I completely agree. And I don't mean the cookie cutter "look what you've done to my cock" PMs. I mean the ones from established relationships, or thoughtful ones from new people that show that someone has been paying attention, and isn't just sending a templated PM that likely went out to half of AmPics.

Those are the good ones.

 

[Lustful_Intentions]

Private Message - when it's something special.....a little time out of someone's busy day to let you know they've thought about you, well....it is just a good feeling. Even when we've moved on to other ways of communication, I still never tire of it.

I agree with this

 

[Thandi]

Private Message - when it's something special.....a little time out of someone's busy day to let you know they've thought about you, well....it is just a good feeling. Even when we've moved on to other ways of communication, I still never tire of it.

^^^Yup, she said it right there!

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

yes. . There is something about the personal nature of a PM from someone. From a stranger it invokes a warm fuzzy feeling that , "hey! Someone took a chance on being my friend!"

That's always nice.

And to receive one from someone With Whom you've already communicated? That's just cake, right there. . Knowing they were thinking about you and wanted to be a part somehow..

 

[ydahecnot]

I think in general for a guy on here, a PM is like hitting the lottery. For a bunch of women, I imagine answering one can be like opening a funhouse door. For me, PM communication that suddenly stops at the other end is worse than not having it at all.

 

[ChainedUp]

Hello Wednesday!

Tina Turner sang "What's love got to do with it; what's love but a second hand emotion". Is that what Lit Love is, a second hand emotion? Is love binary, either you have it or you don't? Lit lust is as common as a penny, but is Lit Love a thing or is it just a combination of online desire matched with a compatible partner?

Oh that Tina, she hast opened a can of worms......

 

[parker77]

Tuesday, always the "it can't be worse than yesterday" day of the week.

Nothing beats waking up and seeing that you have a PM, going to the inbox, seeing just who has sent a message and opening it to see what that message contains. A quick read and a reply, no matter what, always the polite thing to do. And then you get a reply to your reply, and on it goes. Eventually, should things progress, you leave the world of PM behind for alternate forms of more immediate communication. The PM becomes rare again but you don't mind.

But what is it about a receiving a PM? Just seeing one often evokes a response in you before it's even read. Why do we love our PMs so much.

can't answer this one. don't get many; don't send many.

 

[Little_Sister]

Hello Wednesday!

Tina Turner sang "What's love got to do with it; what's love but a second hand emotion". Is that what Lit Love is, a second hand emotion? Is love binary, either you have it or you don't? Lit lust is as common as a penny, but is Lit Love a thing or is it just a combination of online desire matched with a compatible partner?

Oh that Tina, she hast opened a can of worms......

I agree lust is easy, common and abundant around here.

I don't personally think love, as in Lit love, is a real thing. Online you present your best self but it is impossible to present your whole self, there fore making it impossible for them to love the whole you, unless of course your Lit lust turned to a real life affair that turned to love. I don't think real love is possible without real life connection.

 

[DarkrSide]

I agree lust is easy, common and abundant around here.

I don't personally think love, as in Lit love, is a real thing. Online you present your best self but it is impossible to present your whole self, there fore making it impossible for them to love the whole you, unless of course your Lit lust turned to a real life affair that turned to love. I don't think real love is possible without real life connection.

I couldn't agree more. I don't know that you can have true love for someone that you have never met. You can have romantic feelings that you want to explore more and get to know the person more, and you certainly can have lustful emotions for someone on Lit. But love comes from spending real time with someone. Face to face. Not keyboard to keyboard. Of course that's just my opinion.

 

[dutchrain]

The song ...

Ages ago people used to have pen-palls and fell in love with them sometimes, without having met ...

I think it depends on how much both open up and show their true selves. But to the people involved, the love they feel may be as real and true as any other love, even if both are always putting their very best foot forward.

Too others this might look look like an imitation of true love, but who are we to decide if what someone else is feeling is the right thing or not? If they deem their feelings are worthy of the name "Love" it is love to them and then they are in love. To them it would be the real thing.

 

[ChainedUp]

I've often struggled with the term "true love" in that it implies that there is an opposite type of love that is somehow not true. I get having romantic love, brotherly love, familial love....etc but love it's all love. For me if it's anything less than what others might refer to as true love, it's either a different category of love or not really love at all. Semantics you might say but nonetheless......

 

[dutchrain]

I've often struggled with the term "true love" in that it implies that there is an opposite type of love that is somehow not true. I get having romantic love, brotherly love, familial love....etc but love it's all love. For me if it's anything less than what others might refer to as true love, it's either a different category of love or not really love at all. Semantics you might say but nonetheless......

Unreal love ... I don't think this exists. There is unrealistic love, hopeless love, lost love, forbidden love. And all the ones you put a name on and some more.

How can someone else decide what my feelings are? How can someone else have the right to put a label on what I feel?

I think people have the right to call what they feel with a name they deem fit to describe their feeling. If I deem that label fit doesn't count. Or shouldn't count to them.

People experience different feelings in a different way, a little child dances for joy when it gets an ice-cream cone on a hot day. It is devastated if the ice-cream falls off the cone because it jumped and swirled. It very well might cry so hard then, it is almost impossible to cheer it up.

Is it exaggerated to be so happy and so devastated over some ice-cream? An adult would shrug his shoulders if he dropped his ice-cream, buy a new one, or just eat the cone as it is. But the child will still tell you a month later "about that time I dropped my ice? You remember, mommy? I feel just as sad now, because my friend won't come to play with me."

 

[stickygirl]

I know one couple that met and fell in love here on Lit. Naturally they met face to face as well and are now living together, with big changes in their lives - Angellica and Mutato
So the seed of lurv could start here but it's just a step.

People experience different feelings in a different way, a little child dances for joy when it gets an ice-cream cone on a hot day. It is devastated if the ice-cream falls off the cone because it jumped and swirled. It very well might cry so hard then, it is almost impossible to cheer it up.

Oh I dunno Rainey - if it happened to me I'd be gutted
You just reminded me of my childhood balloon trauma :'-(

 

[BreezySnow]

Unreal love ... I don't think this exists. There is unrealistic love, hopeless love, lost love, forbidden love. And all the ones you put a name on and some more.

How can someone else decide what my feelings are? How can someone else have the right to put a label on what I feel?

I think people have the right to call what they feel with a name they deem fit to describe their feeling. If I deem that label fit doesn't count. Or shouldn't count to them.

People experience different feelings in a different way, a little child dances for joy when it gets an ice-cream cone on a hot day. It is devastated if the ice-cream falls off the cone because it jumped and swirled. It very well might cry so hard then, it is almost impossible to cheer it up.

Is it exaggerated to be so happy and so devastated over some ice-cream? An adult would shrug his shoulders if he dropped his ice-cream, buy a new one, or just eat the cone as it is. But the child will still tell you a month later "about that time I dropped my ice? You remember, mommy? I feel just as sad now, because my friend won't come to play with me."

I agree that each person's emotions is their own and I can't tell anyone they do or don't love someone just because they haven't met face to face. I do agree they need to meet face to face to be sure of their compatibility, but emotions are emotions and that is something that is person specific.

I know one couple that met and fell in love here on Lit. Naturally they met face to face as well and are now living together, with big changes in their lives - Angellica and Mutato
So the seed of lurv could start here but it's just a step.

Exactly!!!

 

[Thandi]

I've often struggled with the term "true love" in that it implies that there is an opposite type of love that is somehow not true. I get having romantic love, brotherly love, familial love....etc but love it's all love. For me if it's anything less than what others might refer to as true love, it's either a different category of love or not really love at all. Semantics you might say but nonetheless......

Unreal love ... I don't think this exists. There is unrealistic love, hopeless love, lost love, forbidden love. And all the ones you put a name on and some more.

How can someone else decide what my feelings are? How can someone else have the right to put a label on what I feel?

I think people have the right to call what they feel with a name they deem fit to describe their feeling. If I deem that label fit doesn't count. Or shouldn't count to them.

People experience different feelings in a different way, a little child dances for joy when it gets an ice-cream cone on a hot day. It is devastated if the ice-cream falls off the cone because it jumped and swirled. It very well might cry so hard then, it is almost impossible to cheer it up.

Is it exaggerated to be so happy and so devastated over some ice-cream? An adult would shrug his shoulders if he dropped his ice-cream, buy a new one, or just eat the cone as it is. But the child will still tell you a month later "about that time I dropped my ice? You remember, mommy? I feel just as sad now, because my friend won't come to play with me."

I agree that each person's emotions is their own and I can't tell anyone they do or don't love someone just because they haven't met face to face. I do agree they need to meet face to face to be sure of their compatibility, but emotions are emotions and that is something that is person specific.



Exactly!!!

The people that I love, are all loved differently. Not one is the same.
No one can tell me it's wrong, it's right for me.

Lit love....can it happen? Absolutely.

If you are wanting to be together in RL, t's the same as on line dating (except you already know how pervy you both are....BONUS!!!), you get to learn about each other day by day...Hell it is RL.

If you're keeping it on the boards, well as long as you are both realistic about the fact that you don't know every inch of that person, it could work.....

Good question OP!!

 

[rubydlite]

[Quote: Thandi.... The people that I love, are all loved differently. Not one is the same.No one can tell me it's wrong, it's right for me.]

^^^ This exactly.....love is an emotion I feel from a collection of experiences....rl or ol. I concede that it may often one sided (as it can be in rl) but that doesn't make the feeling any less genuine to the person who feels it.

 

[Miasorrow]

I know one couple that met and fell in love here on Lit. Naturally they met face to face as well and are now living together, with big changes in their lives - Angellica and Mutato
So the seed of lurv could start here but it's just a step.

I agree that each person's emotions is their own and I can't tell anyone they do or don't love someone just because they haven't met face to face. I do agree they need to meet face to face to be sure of their compatibility, but emotions are emotions and that is something that is person specific.

Well said. ^^

 

[ChainedUp]

Evening topic: boundaries are an important part of online relationships for multiple reasons. And many of us (myself included) enjoy pushing the boundaries. But how do you handle it when a boundary is exceeded. Is it an immediate good-bye, a talking to, or do you put the person on double secret probation?

 

[Thandi]

Evening topic: boundaries are an important part of online relationships for multiple reasons. And many of us (myself included) enjoy pushing the boundaries. But how do you handle it when a boundary is exceeded. Is it an immediate good-bye, a talking to, or do you put the person on double secret probation?

Personally I like double secret probation...with passwords & shackles!

 

[emma_the_librarian]

Personally I like double secret probation...with passwords & shackles!

I agree with T!

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Evening topic: boundaries are an important part of online relationships for multiple reasons. And many of us (myself included) enjoy pushing the boundaries. But how do you handle it when a boundary is exceeded. Is it an immediate good-bye, a talking to, or do you put the person on double secret probation?

depends on the boundary. And the vibe I get from the one who crossed it. .

Sometimes that trust can be repaired, but more often than not, as in real life, things are never the same as before one you've taken something too far.

 

[Spins]

Don't you usually just stop chatting and avoid threads they post in?