~~> Lit Lessons Learned <~~

[PeteHulbert37]

More than the drama.. or the nudity (which I somehow never get in my mailbox).. or the name calling..

I notice that there are people, total strangers, who are willing to say hello. beyond that, it's much like real life for me. sometimes we hit it off.. sometimes we don't. It's nice to have a place where I can be human without the risk of it impacting my real life.. or with the blessing of it impacting my real life.

Many of us have shared heartfelt things. I can't let those moments be overshadowed by a bunch of "he said she said" bullshit. I won't. The simple beauty of being allowed to be vulnerable and knowing that there will be at least one other person who might understand, is worth too much to me.

Sometimes you wanna go
where everybody knows your name
and they're always glad you came
you wanna be where you can see
our troubles are all the same
you wanna be where everybody knows your name

* like *

and I sang the last part in my mind as I read it.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

Great idea...

I have some things that I've learned since I've been here.

1. Everyone (except me) is a big fat liar.

I happen to be slim.

2. Everyone (except me) has keyboard kourage
3. Every man sends dick pictures unsolicited.

I don't. Don't have anything worth sending.


4. Every man is here to hook up.

Not me. Learned my lesson on that.

5. If you are a woman, expect nasty PMs at any given time. If you don't want them, turn off your PMs.
6. If you are a woman and you have an AmPic thread, every man will expect that you will want to fuck them.

Not me...can't wait that long.


7. If you put something pertinent in your profile, expect that it will be ignored.

True that.


8. There are trolls.

Maybe Harry Potter could help with that.


9. People have alts, but the same shtick.
10. If you put your yahoo in your profile, that's an invitation to at least cyber fuck.
11. If you are a woman and you have an AmPic thread and you have your yahoo in your profile you will be asked repeatedly to cam with every man (except me) who subscribes to your thread.
12. There will be drama.

Really???


13. There is no exclusivity. If a man tells you that you are his exclusive lover here, see #1.

True that.


14. Friends come and go. And cum and go. And then they can come back.
15. You can expect to make friends here, but those relationships take time.
16. If you want to and you get close enough, you can let people into your real life. None of us (except me) are psycho axe murderers.

While I'm not an axe murderer, I've probably known a few.

1. Most women have high standards for who they'll play with.

2. Most women are very smart when it comes to how they will play. The intellectual chase is the norm. I fail miserably at that game. Which is a shame since I like smart women.

3. Some people will not use spell-checker in a word spelling game. When I enter the thread and see the last person has spelled a "word" that is red-underlined because it doesn't exist - and they do not catch it themselves....makes me understand why nobody responded in the thread for a LONG time....it's just a silly game to engage the mind a little bit...try taking the time to engage the mind a little bit....


I've done that at times...but I have my reasons.

4. For many of the men in lit, it is like a pack of wild dogs set loose upon the land...a free-for-all in posting to try and leave the most recent scent on each and every thread post a woman makes....like watching a school of fish jumble around....That's why I made my own, "Lit rules to live by" - to avoid falling into that way of thinking as often. I still do it occasionally myself until I regain my senses....

You noticed that too?

5. I figure that my ratio of posts that goes un-responded to, to responded to, is about 7 or 8 to 1. Very VERY few posts where I am trying to say something get responded to. So, posting on Lit is sometimes a way to purge, but not very often a place to discuss things....but that's just me...others seem to have no problems in that regard.

You are not alone in that.

.......

 

[ydahecnot]

That ya just can't please everyone. Haterz gonna hate

Hugs, ya happy now ?

Merry late Christmas.

 

[SwtSassyNrse26]

Merry late Christmas.

That its never too late to wish a Merry Christmas.
So Merry Christmas !

 

[Mrtenant]

dun get attached here, its too surreal

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I have learned the following:

1. There are very good friendships to be made here.
2. If you look for anything more than friendship, you've got thicker skin than me.
3. No written word can possibly be interpreted entirely the way it was intended, and even so...there is always going to be that one person who completely misinterprets whatever you say. Shrug your shoulders, and move on.
4. I don't let anyone see any more of me than what's on the boards. Don't expect lengthy PMs. Say it in the thread or not at all. PMs are way too intimate.
5. Some of the most popular Litsters can be the cruelest.
6. Lessons are learned hard here, and despite being a land of fantasy and frolic, real people reside behind the screen names. Everyone would do well to remember that.
7. I write better horror than I do erotica.
8.BBB's list covered just about everything else.

 

[funluvinaj]

And how would you know that?

I was translating what you didn't understand.

 

[sereneone4u]

How about how much people project on here?

Enjoy yourself and let the miserable stay miserable.

I have learned that here.

 

[tolyk]

In the 10 years I've been on Lit, I have found friends, lovers and a soul mate. I have watched cliques form and break apart. I have seen people lie and hurt one another. I have seen random acts of kindness and beautiful moments that make you have hope for humanity. So, in short, it's the same as real life. Just in text form.

I've learned nothing here, that I didn't already have schooling in via "reality".

I've grown while I've been here, but I cannot attribute that solely to Literotica. My life changed around me offline too. Without studying it, I couldn't tell you if my day to day life altered my Literotica persona, or my Literotica persona altered my day to day life. But seeing as I don't try to act like anyone but me while I'm here, I'd say it weighs more to the former.

When I first started posting on Lit, I didn't think I had much to offer anyone. I was a cocky (was a self-defense mechanism) young man going through a nasty seperation, riddled with self-doubt and anxiety. I'm not that person any more. I am more confident than cocky these days. I take pride in who I am. In the ups and the downs that life lead me through.

We are but the sum of our experiences and our reactions to our experiences. We are the product of ourselves. We are who we want to be. Be that an online portrayal or a face-to-face personality. Or any combination therein.

 

[Twlightdreamer]

In the 10 years I've been on Lit, I have found friends, lovers and a soul mate. I have watched cliques form and break apart. I have seen people lie and hurt one another. I have seen random acts of kindness and beautiful moments that make you have hope for humanity. So, in short, it's the same as real life. Just in text form.

I've learned nothing here, that I didn't already have schooling in via "reality".

I've grown while I've been here, but I cannot attribute that solely to Literotica. My life changed around me offline too. Without studying it, I couldn't tell you if my day to day life altered my Literotica persona, or my Literotica persona altered my day to day life. But seeing as I don't try to act like anyone but me while I'm here, I'd say it weighs more to the former.

When I first started posting on Lit, I didn't think I had much to offer anyone. I was a cocky (was a self-defense mechanism) young man going through a nasty seperation, riddled with self-doubt and anxiety. I'm not that person any more. I am more confident than cocky these days. I take pride in who I am. In the ups and the downs that life lead me through.

We are but the sum of our experiences and our reactions to our experiences. We are the product of ourselves. We are who we want to be. Be that an online portrayal or a face-to-face personality. Or any combination therein.

*claps and whistles*

 

[tolyk]

*claps and whistles*

Thank you, thank you. I'm here for the next decade, try the veal!

 

[janeyl]

In the 10 years I've been on Lit, I have found friends, lovers and a soul mate. I have watched cliques form and break apart. I have seen people lie and hurt one another. I have seen random acts of kindness and beautiful moments that make you have hope for humanity. So, in short, it's the same as real life. Just in text form.

I've learned nothing here, that I didn't already have schooling in via "reality".

I've grown while I've been here, but I cannot attribute that solely to Literotica. My life changed around me offline too. Without studying it, I couldn't tell you if my day to day life altered my Literotica persona, or my Literotica persona altered my day to day life. But seeing as I don't try to act like anyone but me while I'm here, I'd say it weighs more to the former.

When I first started posting on Lit, I didn't think I had much to offer anyone. I was a cocky (was a self-defense mechanism) young man going through a nasty seperation, riddled with self-doubt and anxiety. I'm not that person any more. I am more confident than cocky these days. I take pride in who I am. In the ups and the downs that life lead me through.

We are but the sum of our experiences and our reactions to our experiences. We are the product of ourselves. We are who we want to be. Be that an online portrayal or a face-to-face personality. Or any combination therein.

Nicely put. Tol...

 

[tolyk]

Nicely put. Tol...

Thanks, figured it'd been a few years since I answered anything seriously on Lit, I was due

 

[janeyl]

I have learned that seemingly intelligent people appear to make the same mistakes over and over again...

that some cannot survive without the spotlight of attention no matter where it comes from and that the old adage that men reject needy women is absolutely untrue...and that, perhaps those things are connected...

I have learned the importance of being fully involved in real life and using Lit as a seasoning to that is a more balanced approach...

That real life should be referred to as that and not..."in offline"...

That an online community can be just that and the sense of belonging is seductive when you're most in need but that "virtual" hugs don't solve any problem...

That the best, deepest and most enduring friendships of my life have come from here...

 

[BlueEyedGent]

I have learned the importance of being fully involved in real life and using Lit as a seasoning to that is a more balanced approach...


I agree with Janeyl's reference that Lit is a seasoning added to our lives to create a balance....

Attaining balance is definitely a key element needed in order to fully enjoy being a member of the Lit Community.

I have been quite fortunate with the fact that I have been able to log onto Lit and know there are some exceptionally great people to communicate with....whether it's on a thread or a PM....even if it's a short message to say " hi, just a little note to wish you a beautiful day"...it's a good feeling to know that I have sent someone a positive message...also a wonderful feeling to receive one ...

There are always going to be people who don't like me, whether it is behind a screen or face to face...the saying " You can't please all people all of the time" is so true...it's a fact that every human should fully realize and accept...no matter how much we try to be "good" or do the right thing, there will always be at least ONE person who will find a flaw, or something to nitpick about ...always... being a member on this forum along with hundreds of others makes each one of us vulnerable and potential targets for antagonism, sarcasm , judgement, etc..and that is a perfect recipe for drama. It can be frustrating and maddening, especially when the " he said , she said" aspect gets out of control, like a wildfire. Best thing to do...put the fire out...access the damage...rebuild...and never , or at least try really hard , to never let it get out of control again..

 

[SassySheDevil]

In the 10 years I've been on Lit, I have found friends, lovers and a soul mate. I have watched cliques form and break apart. I have seen people lie and hurt one another. I have seen random acts of kindness and beautiful moments that make you have hope for humanity. So, in short, it's the same as real life. Just in text form.

I've learned nothing here, that I didn't already have schooling in via "reality".

I've grown while I've been here, but I cannot attribute that solely to Literotica. My life changed around me offline too. Without studying it, I couldn't tell you if my day to day life altered my Literotica persona, or my Literotica persona altered my day to day life. But seeing as I don't try to act like anyone but me while I'm here, I'd say it weighs more to the former.

When I first started posting on Lit, I didn't think I had much to offer anyone. I was a cocky (was a self-defense mechanism) young man going through a nasty seperation, riddled with self-doubt and anxiety. I'm not that person any more. I am more confident than cocky these days. I take pride in who I am. In the ups and the downs that life lead me through.

We are but the sum of our experiences and our reactions to our experiences. We are the product of ourselves. We are who we want to be. Be that an online portrayal or a face-to-face personality. Or any combination therein.

I like this a lot.

 

[Misshotndeep]

In the 10 years I've been on Lit, I have found friends, lovers and a soul mate. I have watched cliques form and break apart. I have seen people lie and hurt one another. I have seen random acts of kindness and beautiful moments that make you have hope for humanity. So, in short, it's the same as real life. Just in text form.

I've learned nothing here, that I didn't already have schooling in via "reality".

I've grown while I've been here, but I cannot attribute that solely to Literotica. My life changed around me offline too. Without studying it, I couldn't tell you if my day to day life altered my Literotica persona, or my Literotica persona altered my day to day life. But seeing as I don't try to act like anyone but me while I'm here, I'd say it weighs more to the former.

When I first started posting on Lit, I didn't think I had much to offer anyone. I was a cocky (was a self-defense mechanism) young man going through a nasty seperation, riddled with self-doubt and anxiety. I'm not that person any more. I am more confident than cocky these days. I take pride in who I am. In the ups and the downs that life lead me through.

We are but the sum of our experiences and our reactions to our experiences. We are the product of ourselves. We are who we want to be. Be that an online portrayal or a face-to-face personality. Or any combination therein.

I just want to hug ya and applaud. Well said!

 

[TongueLust]

That most of the time what I say doesn't matter.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

I should add to my previous list:

Things can go from normal lunacy, to DEVCON-2 in a hurry in a thread....

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

Lessons I've learned:

Some people need to calm the fuck down. And/or take a seat.

It's a lot more fun if you don't take things seriously.

Some people will surprise you.

 

[sereneone4u]

Lessons I've learned:

Some people need to calm the fuck down. And/or take a seat.

It's a lot more fun if you don't take things seriously.

Some people will surprise you.

Yeppers

 

[fungatorgurl101]

If you allow yourself to you will find some truly amazing people who you can build truly amazing friendships with... I am blessed to have some in my life that I met through this place who are people I consider to be some amazing people in my life.

Sometimes its easy to allow yourself to take yourself too seriously on this site... just remember we are all here for a reason and generally its just a good place to let go and laugh!

You will get hurt if you allow yourself to be!

 

[funluvinaj]

Some wise, wise things being said here.

I've made more than my share of mistakes along the way. I like to think that I've been there to support many friends that I've made here makes up for the mistakes that I've made.

 

[tolyk]

Some wise, wise things being said here.

I've made more than my share of mistakes along the way. I like to think that I've been there to support many friends that I've made here makes up for the mistakes that I've made.

Your avatar more than makes up for all mistakes ever made on lit

 

[ydahecnot]

The lesson I expressed to Nursie is still the most important, but others I've learned:

--You don't have to reveal all, but make what you reveal is true. Otherwise, it's just an unpaid acting job.
--Half a loaf or a slice is perfectly fine to settle for many times.
--There are many things to do in life. Holding on to angst on a message board is not one of the logical things to do.
--Wry is a much more nourishing bread than seriousness.
--There will always be someone better than you at something (humor, gaining friends, wooing women, etc.) Just try the best at what you do.
--Avoid cheesy clip art, before it's too late.