limitations and compromises vs. freedom of sexual expression

[ataxia.girl]

Okay. I'd feel guilty about it. Cool conversation and thanks for not stomping off.

Another thing to consider. The girl in the article i linked pretty much publicly says virginity is a myth. If i'm up there on the auction block telling all the men bidding that virginity is just a fantasy in their heads is it honestly my fault they don't believe me?

i fail to see how it is somehow my responsibility to protect these guys.

 

[Recidiva]

Another thing to consider. The girl in the article i linked pretty much publicly says virginity is a myth. If i'm up there on the auction block telling all the men bidding that virginity is just a fantasy in their heads is it honestly my fault they don't believe me?

i fail to see how it is somehow my responsibility to protect these guys.

Because I LIKE men. Encouraging them to behave like morons is not a pastime or business I'd want to have a part in. I even like rich, stupid men. I don't see why rich, stupid men deserve to be victimized.

Is that going to be your pitch? "I'm not worth your money, please don't bid on me, you're doing something foolish."

In the end it just sounds like someone out there selling any other thing that's destructive. "Well, if someone's buying, I'm selling." No conscience.

You're not just NOT protecting them, you're actively exploiting a weakness.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Because I LIKE men. Encouraging them to behave like morons is not a pastime or business I'd want to have a part in. I even like rich, stupid men. I don't see why rich, stupid men deserve to be victimized.

Is that going to be your pitch? "I'm not worth your money, please don't bid on me, you're doing something foolish."

In the end it just sounds like someone out there selling any other thing that's destructive. "Well, if someone's buying, I'm selling." No conscience.

You're not just NOT protecting them, you're actively exploiting a weakness.

i am not my virginity. my virginity is simply an event in my life. It is not me.

my virginity\sexuality is not destructive nor is the act of purchasing the privilege of sharing the event with me.

 

[Recidiva]

i am not my virginity. my virginity is simply an event in my life. It is not me.

my virginity\sexuality is not destructive nor is the act of purchasing it.

And there I think you're blind to the consequences of selling a myth as reality to another human being.

You may be "above it all" but the person you're selling it to isn't.

It's like saying "I'm a drug dealer, I don't take the drugs." No, but you put it out there, don't you?

You know you're selling a lie. You have contempt for the people buying. They don't deserve protection or care, they deserve to be exploited. I disagree.

 

[HottieMama]

You're not just NOT protecting them, you're actively exploiting a weakness.

For curiosity's sake, do you feel this way about anyone who offers a sexual service for sale?

 

[ataxia.girl]

You know you're selling a lie. You have contempt for the people buying. They don't deserve protection or care, they deserve to be exploited. I disagree.

In this you are correct. i do not believe they deserve my protection and i am perfectly fine with exploiting them.

It was a good conversation. Thank you

 

[Recidiva]

For curiosity's sake, do you feel this way about anyone who offers a sexual service for sale?

No, I want prostitution to be legal and reasonable.

I just think in this case, it's exploitative and overpriced.

 

[Recidiva]

In this you are correct. i do not believe they deserve my protection and i am perfectly fine with exploiting them.

It was a good conversation. Thank you

You're welcome, it's a pleasure to get to know you better and I'm glad you chose to post here.

For the record, you're entirely NOT a downer

I'd love to do it again some time.

 

[ataxia.girl]

You're welcome, it's a pleasure to get to know you better and I'm glad you chose to post here.

For the record, you're entirely NOT a downer

I'd love to do it again some time.

Ditto

 

[HottieMama]

You know you're selling a lie. You have contempt for the people buying. They don't deserve protection or care, they deserve to be exploited.

I "sold a lie" for two years as a professional phone sex operator. The men that called me paid 4.99 a minute to talk to "Angie" who was 18, blond and had huge boobs. I was 25, brunette, slightly overweight and sitting in a cubicle surrounded by other women selling virtually the same "lie." Angie had her own life and her own world precisely tailored to that caller's needs so as to keep them on the phone as long as possible and therefore make my pay check as large as possible. Did I like my callers? No. I thought most of them were pathetic, lonely people who needed a real life. I certainly enjoyed my paychecks though and would do whatever I needed to do to make as much money from their sorry asses as I could. That's pretty cold, however if "you" honestly believe that you are talking to "Angie" and not a single mom looking to make easy money, then you are a fool. I am not responsible for the blatant stupidity of others.

 

[Recidiva]

I "sold a lie" for two years as a professional phone sex operator. The men that called me paid 4.99 a minute to talk to "Angie" who was 18, blond and had huge boobs. I was 25, brunette, slightly overweight and sitting in a cubicle surrounded by other women selling virtually the same "lie." Angie had her own life and her own world precisely tailored to that caller's needs so as to keep them on the phone as long as possible and therefore make my pay check as large as possible. Did I like my callers? No. I thought most of them were pathetic, lonely people who needed a real life. I certainly enjoyed my paychecks though and would do whatever I needed to do to make as much money from their sorry asses as I could. That's pretty cold, however if "you" honestly believe that you are talking to "Angie" and not a single mom looking to make easy money, then you are a fool. I am not responsible for the blatant stupidity of others.

I also know a phone sex worker who has clients she chose, she has a good relationship with them and it works out for everyone's benefit. She did her job by just being herself and choosing people who wanted who she was. She loves her job.

Sounds like a bad acting job to me, and if you didn't like it, that's a shame. You had no choice in your clients or how you were able to present yourself, and that gave you very little opportunity for expressing yourself. I don't think you did anything wrong, though. Just sounds like you had creative and expressive insurmountable difficulties.

Sounds like the equivalent of having to be an animatronic robot at Chuck E Cheese.

 

[BiBunny]

There is nothing exciting about phone sex work except the money. But if they're dumb enough to shell out the money to talk to people who don't exist, then I'm smart enough to let them.

 

[Netzach]

How is that a con, and when a painting goes for the GNP of some countries it's not?

Please.

 

[Netzach]

I also know a phone sex worker who has clients she chose, she has a good relationship with them and it works out for everyone's benefit. She did her job by just being herself and choosing people who wanted who she was. She loves her job.

Sounds like a bad acting job to me, and if you didn't like it, that's a shame. You had no choice in your clients or how you were able to present yourself, and that gave you very little opportunity for expressing yourself. I don't think you did anything wrong, though. Just sounds like you had creative and expressive insurmountable difficulties.

Sounds like the equivalent of having to be an animatronic robot at Chuck E Cheese.

So you've never had a stupid job or sold anything to people you don't particularly like then? I am probably a lot like the person you refer to, but I know a lot of "angies" and as far as I'm concerned one more woman putting food on her table is more important than the delusions of sexist fuckwads.

 

[Netzach]

There is nothing exciting about phone sex work except the money. But if they're dumb enough to shell out the money to talk to people who don't exist, then I'm smart enough to let them.

Or if, God forbid, they enjoy it.
Poor exploited lambs.

Are fetishes weaknesses, Recidiva? Because if I'm exploiting their fantasy of being exploited, I'm perfectly content to take up residency with coke dealers in the moral universe you seem to occupy. Yeah, it's like selling crack to 8 year olds. Sure.

 

[BiBunny]

Or if, God forbid, they enjoy it.
Poor exploited lambs.

*Snort*

Actually, I lied a little. There's more in the phone sex world that's exciting besides the money. I love the challenge of developing new characters with different personalities. I love making good marketing decisions. I love working on websites and writing blogs, and, most of all, I love SEO and watching my sites rise in the search engines.

Nothing sexually exciting about it, but character development and marketing can be intellectually exciting.



Now, the answer the initial questions that eastern sun laid out in the OP (I've been wanting to do so for several days, but my brain hasn't shared my enthusiasm):

How do life's obligations and responsibilities hamper the full and free expression of your sexuality?

Well...that's an interesting question. I am probably personally more able than most to express my sexuality. All my friends know about my proclivities. I'm a phone sex operator, so, while I don't inform my boss and co-workers about my slavery or anything, they do come to me to ask about trying certain sex toys or kinky sex practices in real life with their husbands or boyfriends! The only people I really have to hide anything from are my family. I spend very little time with them compared to the other people in my life, so what I have to hide from them currently isn't such a big deal. If I wanted to move in with my Owners later, that would be different.

However, I have to be very discreet in many cases, not because of my own life's obligations and responsibilities, but my Owners'. They both hold "professional" jobs. Only a few of their friends know about me. And both their families are more important to them and more important in the community than mine. (Hell, I'm about two steps above white trash; nobody cares about me.) It's a really fine line for me to walk. I think in a lot of ways, it'd be easier if it were my own obligations and responsibilities holding me back because if I screwed up, it'd just be my life. But, as it is, if I screw up, I'm sabotaging them. It sucks.

Do you regret being unable to fully express yourself?

Yes. Maybe one day it'll be possible.

What compromises are you comfortable with? Why?

I can deal with keeping certain things compartmentalized. Like, I don't have to walk around on a collar and leash all the time to feel "enslaved." I don't really care if people know I'm a slave or not. Whatever. But sometimes, it would be nice to feel free from the constraints of the couple-centric, monogamous world.

"No, I don't want to meet your nice, single friend/cousin/son/nephew. I'm not single. I'm deeply committed to married couple. Thank you for your concern, but I'm not interested." I wish I could say that sometimes to well-meaning family members or acquaintances. But I doubt it'll ever happen.

Does anyone feel like they are completely free to express the full range of their sexuality?

They might, but I bet those people are few and far between.

Is it a goal we should aspire to?

In an ideal world, yes. This is not an ideal world, though, and it never will be.

Would you want to live in a world where everyone felt free to express themselves?

Yes, if there would be no negative repercussions for doing something that wasn't harming anyone else.

 

[eastern sun]

However, I have to be very discreet in many cases, not because of my own life's obligations and responsibilities, but my Owners'. They both hold "professional" jobs. Only a few of their friends know about me. And both their families are more important to them and more important in the community than mine. (Hell, I'm about two steps above white trash; nobody cares about me.) It's a really fine line for me to walk. I think in a lot of ways, it'd be easier if it were my own obligations and responsibilities holding me back because if I screwed up, it'd just be my life. But, as it is, if I screw up, I'm sabotaging them. It sucks.

Yes. I understand this. I've had to be very careful not to expose people with public reputations, and have been suddenly and swiftly dropped when I stepped just an inch out of bounds and they became afraid I might "out" them.

I never would. But in the early days, I had to learn the boundaries the hard way.

 

[~Haze~]

I do. I'll admit that I compartmentalize myself and that puts limitations on my sexual expressions.

Now I consider myself to be very open, sexually and emotionally. In the sense that I have no problem talking and discussing my own sexuality, desires, experiences and I do explore the full range of my desires.

The limitation is with who. I don't open up the entire range to everyone. I have a Dominant side and I also have a bit of a submissive side and while I might explore both sides, I don't explore both sides with the anyone or everyone or with the same people.

What I mean by that is that there are people who have seen my Dominant side and there are some who have seen my submissive side, but rarely does someone see both and I think I prefer it that way.

A lot had to happen for me to get like this and I don't think many people have those same experiences that allow that comfort and openness. Certain things in my life happened that allowed me to be open about my sexuality, that allowed my to be open about my desires, that allowed my to be open and comfortable with my body.

I just don't think most people have that experience/exposure/self assure/self awareness to be open.

As a result, most people are not comfortable enough with themselves, their feelings, their emotions, their desires to open up to themselves, never mind opening up to other. That's just human nature and it is what it is.

 

[minx1]

bumping out of interest